Sungjong woke up later than usual.

His alarm was working fine but he was having a good dream and he had turned off the alarm in his sleep. When he woke up though, he couldn’t remember the dream. All he recalled was that it had been something warm, and scented, something familiar but he couldn’t exactly tell what it was. He wished he could; he could do with more of that dream.

When he got down to the kitchen for breakfast, fully dressed in a crisp shirt, pale blue and formal black pants, he looked around inquisitively, missing a presence. It took him 5 seconds to realize that Pop was missing. He looked under the sofas, the kitchen counter, the dining table – Pop was nowhere.

“That cat!” he grumbled as he checked the other rooms as well. “Oh well, whatever,” he said to himself when a 15 minute – long search led to no discovery of the missing cat.

He reasoned with himself – Pop could take care of herself. She was smart – too smart for a cat – and although it caused him a headache at times, it also meant she could fend off for herself in the wide world. Not for once did he consider her to be lost. That cat was too lazy to walk too far so he could safely assume she’d turn up soon.

Besides, he reasoned, she didn’t even have breakfast.

He poured a generous amount of cat feed in Pop’s bowl. Deciding to leave the cat flap open so that Pop could pop in anytime she wanted, he hastily arranged his bag. It was his first day at work after the 1 and a half year vacation he had taken to research for his thesis paper and he didn’t want to be late.

As soon as he opened the main door, something brushed past his legs. He looked down to find the ginger-yellow cat sauntering into the house, her tail swinging deliberately.

“Where did you come from?” He looked up and noticed Suzy standing on her front porch, her door open, and waving at him. “Oh so that’s where you’ve been.”

He waved back at Suzy and mouthed thanks, which he wasn’t sure she could make out from the distance.

“What were you thinking?” he asked, raising his voice at the seemingly nonchalant cat. Pop turned towards him in slow motion and shot him a reproachful look.

What are you thinking? Can’t you give her a chance?

Sungjong could swear he hated the cat’s intelligence, why couldn’t Pop be like other dumb animals?

“No I can’t. Stop pissing me off or else I’ll call animal shelter.”

Pop wore a patronizing expression. He wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d been smirking. He felt a sudden urge to kick her; he had to clarify who was the master here.

“I’m serious!”

Pop’s eyes burned with censure and pity.

So stubborn, that’s why Myungsoo left you.

Sungjong staggered – it hurt him like a boulder to the chest. For a moment, he was speechless. The next instance, he was shouting at his cat.

“Shut up! You don’t know why he left!”

Pop’s mouth widened with scorn.

Huh, you only think you know why he left.

Sungjong slammed the door in Pop’s face after that. Before he walked to the garage, he took some time leaning against the fencing at the edge of the garden, trying to cool off the haze of anger clouding his eyes.  The cold wind, colder than he remembered it from yesterday, bit down on his exposed neck and palm harshly. Putting down the bag by his leg, he loosened his tie, allowing more air to come in contact with his skin. It was strangely healing.

“Hey, are you okay?” Suzy was looking up at him worriedly. She was standing on her side of the road and she made to walk towards his side, when he said, a little too firmly, “I’m fine.”

She paused and searched his face intently. Sungjong was glad for everything she’d done, for him and for Pop, but at the moment he wanted to be alone. She seemed to have gotten the message.

“Don’t be mad at Bubble Pop,” she said above the wind, not taking any step forward. “She just wanted to visit Woollimy. I guess she got tired, cooped up in the house, and you are not home most of the time.”

“I know, yeah probably.”

He knew well that the last thing Pop wanted to do was to spend time with him. Sometimes, he wondered whose pet Pop really was. He had bought her but she never felt very warmly towards him. In fact, Myungsoo had been the bridge between them, and that bridge had been burnt for some time.

There were so many times when Sungjong had wanted to send her off to a shelter, or sell her, or even give her away to a random kid but something held him back. Two sides of a river don’t stop to coexist when the bridge between them disappear, they are still there, waiting for a new bridge to be built or for one side to be washed away. That’s the natural course of things – that was what Sungjong told himself but he knew he kept Pop for a completely different reason.

She was the proof that Myungsoo wasn’t an exceptionally long and pleasant dream. She was the proof that Myungsoo had left, that he was living a reality instead of a fantasy. And they were both waiting for the same thing, for a miracle.

“Sungjong?” Suzy was still there. He felt mad at himself, and at her. She probably couldn’t help putting them in awkward situations, and he fell for them every time.

“Suzy I’m fine,” he assured her, although she knew as well as him that it was a lie. He, unlike her though, believed that he needed some time alone to pull out. She was trying to help, but she didn’t know that he was beyond help.

He waved at her with finality and to make his statement more believable, he trudged towards the garage.

It took him the fifth try to start his car. It could have been worse; he hadn’t hit the gas since May. He patted his seat and as thick dust rose in spirals, he coughed and resigned. The inside was covered in layers of dust and mosquitoes. There was no way he could drive it to work in this condition; it needed a good wash. He checked his watch – it was too late to take the bus. Taxis would be difficult to find so early – that left only one option in his hands. He picked up his bag and walked briskly to Suzy’s front door.

“Need a lift?” she asked, when she saw him with his bag.

“If you don’t mind.”

He was embarrassed. He had rejected her so many times and now that he actually needed it…

She fixed him with a hard look and he knew what it meant. He started to feel guilty again, like he was trolling her.

The journey wasn’t as silent as he would have liked it to be. Suzy was generally talkative and she didn’t give up easily. She tried to engage him in a conversation, and his responses were, at the most, polite. But she didn’t seem to mind, so he stopped thinking about it after some time.

“I can pick you up too. What time do you get off?” she asked when he got down from the car finally.

“No need, I’ll catch a bus.” She was going to protest but Sungjong waved her off, pretending that he was late and walked into the building.

He had missed the antiseptic smell, the whitewashed walls, the crowd of people, the packed reception. He felt like he’d stepped into a whole new world altogether – but this was his world.

The lift was crowded and he nodded to a few people he knew. He almost missed his floor and when he had scrambled out, he was disoriented. The floor had definitely been renovated, at least reorganized, and for a moment he didn’t know which way to go.

“Sungjong! You’re back!” A cheerful voice greeted him. It was Im Daehyun, his colleague, his competitor since 6^th grade and all through medical school and finally at the hospital.  That didn’t mean they were at each other’s throats all the time; it was friendly competition, all in the name of good will.

“Yeah, how’re you?” Sungjong was still trying to decide which way he should go and Daehyun smiled at his obvious confusion.

“Great. The Head of the Department has been changed, as you can probably tell.” He waved at the new decorations and a large plastic Christmas tree that stood beside the prominent plaque claiming: ‘Department of Oncology – Radiation and Medical’.

“Oh,” was all Sungjong could say. He was conflicted about the plastic tree – trying to put a good reason to why it was there in October.

“Prof. Kang went for an extended vacation; he as good as kissed the hospital goodbye.” Daehyun told him more about the changes as they walked towards the clocking in area for the employees.

“You need a new card,” Daehyun said, punching in. “Go and meet the new Head, you’ll like it.” He sniggered in a way Sungjong didn’t like.

“Isn’t Dr. Lee the new Head?” As far as he remembered, Dr. Lee Howon was the Associate Professor and second-in-charge, and he’d have definitely taken the office if Prof. Kang left. But he couldn’t imagine Dr. Lee planting plastic trees in the corridors and hanging anime posters on the walls.

Daehyun nodded, the smug look not leaving his face. Sungjong tried to shrug of the dim sinking feeling he always got when he watched Daehyun being smug. It meant bad news for him, most of the time.

“Ah Dr. Lee, good to see you!” The nurses greeted him, so did the junior doctors as he walked towards the Head’s office. It had been a long time since he’d last seen them and he couldn’t believe that he had actually missed them. In a long time, he felt at home.

“Well good luck.” Daehyun stopped when they reached a heavy door with a gold plaque that read ‘Head of the Department, Department of Oncology’ in large, elaborate letterings. This was a new addition too; the last plaque was much simpler.

“Oh I – thanks,” Sungjong said lamely. He felt a sudden trepidation about going inside.

“Welcome.” Daehyun smirked at him before leaving his side, making him feel queasy. Taking a deep breath, Sungjong knocked on the door and slid it open.

“Sir may I come in?”

“Yes please do come in.”

He almost tiptoed inside. The simple wooden desk had been replaced by a large mahogany table. The man sitting at the table had his back turned towards Sungjong. He could see the back of his head poking out above the headrest of the chair.

“Sir?”

The chair slowly turned to face him.

“Sungjong, it’s good to see you!”

Sungjong could almost feel his head explode.

“You!”