Dear Myungsoo,

I loved how whimsical you were…remember that one time you forced me out of bed at 2 am in the morning and drove me 10 miles to see fireflies in the open fields? You made me stand among the swarm of glowing insects and pretended that they formed a halo over my head. Your angel - that was what you called me. And when I said I was scared of anything with wings, you pulled me into your chest protectively, as if those tiny fireflies could harm me.

What you did next made even the stars blush.

Remembering it still makes me blush. It's strange isn't it, me thinking about the littlest of things, the most petty moments we shared together. Why these memories still find space in my mind is beyond me. I hate these moments, when I’m so weak. Vulnerable. So much in love with you. They probably never cross your mind - why would they? Will you laugh at me when you read this? Will you shake your head and say in that mellow voice of yours, "Oh Sungjong, you never change. You're so silly!"

But I have changed Myungsoo, I really have. I haven't changed enough to accept that you left because of me, but I have changed enough to know that next time, if there is a next time, a next life, I'd hold on to you stronger.

This is getting too melodramatic, so I'll change the subject here, talk about something stupid. I ran out of detergent today, the last one of our stock is finished. I liked the smell of this detergent, it smelled like you. Funnily enough, it went out of market a while after you left. Now I don’t have the detergent, I don’t have you, only emptiness.

PS: What detergent do you use these days? Could it by any chance smell like you?

With love,

Sungjong