Dear Myungsoo,

I took the trash out today.

Honestly, it wasn’t that hard; all in a day’s work.

I don’t know why I put up such a resistance every time you told me to take the trash out. It’s a breeze really. But something doesn’t feel right...

Do you think it’s the leaf litter on the driveway? Maybe…the brown leaves crunch under my feet, and it sounds like crackers breaking into pieces. Remember how we always used to share everything, literally everything we had? You would break the cracker down the middle and put one half in my mouth and the other in yours. (I could swear your halves were always bigger, but I didn’t mind.) It’s that kind of a sound, only, a bit different.

Just a little bit.

Oh, and I scrounged an interesting item from the trash bin. Guess what?

It’s a yellow sweater, your yellow sweater to be more specific. It was sitting in the bin for some reason, looking lonely like a handful of sunshine on a winter day. The scene looked so forlorn that I couldn't help but cry. It was crazy probably, crying over a sweater, your sweater...but I couldn't stop myself. Just because it’s winter, I shouldn’t throw away the Spring right?

I know you’d agree.

And later in the evening, I almost had a heart attack. I heard footsteps in your study around 6 pm. I was so freaked out, you never come home before 9. I was so sure it was a burglar. But then again, the burglar alarm didn’t go off. I tiptoed up, with a baseball bat in my hand. It was brave of me, wouldn’t you say so? But my heart was thumping so loudly, even you could have heard it.

Funnily though, there was no one in the room. I waited for you instead. Only, you didn’t come back.

And I realized, you won’t come back no matter how long I wait.

With love,

Sungjong

PS: I hope you’re happy, wherever you are.