This was supposed to be up last weekend, but my mom had an emergency and hospitalized and there was no way I could be writing then (she is okay now!:)) so it is up now! And I will be overseas for 2 weekends starting from next week, so the earliest update might be mid December… I will try to update when I am overseas but the chance is slim. And if you watch Iris, no, Hyunwoo is not going to die, and I am not killing him here. A spoiler for you since I might not be able to update for a while!

And thank you for not leaving this series, with my y updates and all. Hugs you all I love every one of you. Slobbery kisses.

Yoseob leaned back on the very uncomfortable aluminum chair and crossed his hands in annoyance. Tilting his head up and raising his eyebrows challengingly, Yoseob stared sharply at the two agents sitting in front of him across the aluminum table. Two external disks and a phone were placed in the middle of the table, like a peace offering between two sides.

The interview room he was currently sitting in was different from the ones he often watched on dramas and movies. Instead of a box of walls with a one-way mirror from which a group of people would observe him, the mirror was replaced with clear glass. He could see everyone as well as everyone could see him – although no one was actually paying attention to them and the room was completely sound-proofed from outside.

There were monitors and keyboards and screens and telephones and well-dressed people outside the room. Men were all in suits and ties (they dressed the exact same way Ahjussi dressed, of course Ahjussi being infinitely hotter than everybody else). As for the women, it was poles apart how the women here dressed compared to the scantily and skimpily dressed women he was used to in music show. Everyone here looked somber and boring and grey… now he understood why Hyunwoo had no idea who he was in the beginning, no one seemed to know who he was either around here. There was no ing life in this place.  

“Yang Yoseob-sshi.” Sooyeon started. Yoseob stared at her with the same challenging expression. Sooyeon continued, “Yang Yoseob-sshi, I heard you refuse to cooperate with us on the way here.”

“Where is Ahjussi?” Yoseob demanded.

“Why did you refuse to wear the blindfold?” Sooyeon asked, refusing to fall under the challenging stare.

Yoseob stared at her belligerently, “Where is Seo Hyunwoo, Ji Sooyeon-sshi?” He scoffed mockingly, “Wearing a blindfold to get here is stupid. I am not going to get blindfolded and not knowing where I am going. If it’s for the sake of location secrecy and discretion, you can spare me from that . If you guys cannot defend your Headquarter from a mere idol like me, then how do you expect to do whatever that you are supposed to do? Yes, I remember how to get here, and I remember the building. So what are you going to do with me? Eliminate me? Go ahead and do it.”

Sooyeon kept her silence and they both stared at each other, she was not the Noona Yoseob knew all this while, right now she was a cruel woman. He was so done with all of this , he needed to know where Hyunwoo was, he needed to know what the was going on from Hyunwoo himself. He was not going to say some sugar-coated-candy-chocolate-caramelized-cotton-candy words right now. If he needed to spit out venom for Ahjussi, he would. He would do anything for Hyunwoo.

The young man who sat beside Sooyeon was quiet too, in fact he had not even spoken a word yet and Yoseob had no idea who he was.  Yoseob continued, “Where is Ahjussi? I want to meet Ahjussi.”

“Seo Hyunwoo-sshi is not here,” the man finally spoke, “He is transferred to another institution for further investigation. Before you interrupt me Yang Yoseob-sshi, he is perfectly safe and after we get enough proof from you, he will be back here before you know it.” The man in perfect suit and tie stopped Yoseob abruptly when the younger man opened his mouth to argue.

“Aren’t you curious about our jobs, Yoseobah? What is going on here? Where is Hyunwoo?” Sooyeon leaned forward and her eyes immediately softened. She was back to the Sooyeon Noona whom Yoseob knew. Yoseob nodded and Sooyeon smiled at him affectionately, “We are part of a secret organization called NSS, basically we pre-empt foreign threats and protect the country’s interests through a lot of means. And those include observation and elimination, which translate to killing people off which we consider as threats. Jung Yoogun is the Team Leader, hence how we always call him. Hyunwoo is pretty high in the leadership ladder too, so he has more responsibilities than other people and goes out on missions a lot since he is experienced as an agent. Do you need a tissue, baby?” Sooyeon frowned in worry when Yoseob’s eyes started to moist.

Yoseob nodded and the unknown man went out to fetch some tissues from the desk outside. Yoseob did not know why he was crying, he was not upset that Hyunwoo lied to him, he was just… absolutely in a loss right now. He did not know what to do, he did not know where Hyunwoo was, he did not know what he could do. He just did not know anything.

He was afraid.

Yoseob was absolutely terrified.

Sooyeon continued her explanation, he owed Yoseob that much, “There is a mole in the organization, Yoseobah, and we are trying to find that person out. No, I don’t think it’s Hyunwoo, but he is suspicious enough to be a suspect because he has days off which we have no idea where he was on those days. There was an attack on our Safe House and some murders on our agents in some days where Hyunwoo was not around. This is why we need your help, this is why we need your videos to create alibis for Hyunwoo. Do you get me, Yoseobah? It is as hard on me as it is hard on you.”

The younger man rubbed his eyes furiously, trying to wipe away the hot tears from his eyes. “I am so scared, Noona. I am so terrified right now. What if I cannot help Ahjussi? What if what I have is not enough? You know he wouldn’t do any of that.”

The man was back with a box of soft tissues. Yoseob grabbed a few sheets to blow his nose. Sooyeon held out her hand and cupped Yoseob’s thin cheek in her warm palm, an assuring smile on her face, “I know. It’s okay. I feel this way every day with Yoogun. Now, the best thing to do is cooperate with me and get Hyunwoo exonerated from whatever suspicion. He is safe, he’s with a team of armed forces. Nothing will harm him. Okay? Let’s take a look at those videos you have.”

Yoseob nodded and a sob escaped him once more.        

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Hyunwoo was thinking about Yoseob.

It did not escape him how his lover would feel when he did not reply any of his texts or answer any of his calls. Yoseob might think Hyunwoo was out for another police thing and would patiently wait at home. He should have told Yoseob the truth, now he was not sure if he would have another opportunity to tell the younger man that he was sorry for lying to him, for fighting with him, for not prioritizing him, for doubting him, for making him sad, for not being there for him.

Shih Hyuk and Hyunwoo were transported to NIS for further investigation to find the traitor in the organization. The anger he felt earlier had melted away, replaced by a longing for Yoseob and for the younger man to know the truth. Hyunwoo and Shih Hyuk were sitting across each other inside a truck, guarded by four armed guards, two on each side. Hyunwoo knew that Shih Hyuk was the mole in the organization, but the problem was how to prove it. He looked at Shih Hyuk menacingly.

One moment Shih Hyuk was smirking at him, the other moment the younger agent lunged at one of the armed guards and pointed his gun to everybody inside the truck. Gun was fired and bullets were shot, it was messy inside the moving truck, it was chaotic, and Hyunwoo had nothing to shield himself from the endless bullets. The guards were taken aback by the sudden attack and were simultaneously shot.

Hyunwoo launched himself onto Shih Hyuk, not caring about his safety as he pushed the gun away from him. It shot forward, and the truck driver was shot by the stray bullets. The truck lost control; it swerved to the right and then sharply to the left, and Hyunwoo was thrown to the side as the truck flipped over.

Everything was a blur inside the truck. Hyunwoo could feel bodies on top of him – dead weight – he could hear handcuffs being unlocked and some movements beside him. It was Shih Hyuk running away.

He wanted to chuckle because now everyone would know Shih Hyuk was the mole and not him. But he was not sure if he could chuckle anymore because he could feel warm wetness seeping out from somewhere around his stomach.

Hyunwoo did not even know when he got shot.

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A loud moan vibrated inside the interrogation room as Hyunwoo and Yoseob coupled ferociously in the video that was playing on the laptop screen. Screams of names and profanities were heard as they watched Yoseob bounced on Hyunwoo’s in the middle of the bed. Yoseob arched his back and grabbed the sheet around him as he bellowed loudly in satisfaction. Sooyeon stopped the video from playing and went onto another dated folder.

When Sooyeon first clicked open Yoseob’s hard disk on the laptop screen, she could not help but gasp in shock and awe. Every folder in the hard disk was neatly dated, and the dates ran almost every day, with a few days’ gaps in between (dates that Sooyeon vaguely recognized when Hyunwoo was out on missions). She proceeded to click open a dated folder – a few days before the Safe House was attacked – and widened her eyes, again in shock and awe when she found numerous videos inside, timings neatly indicated on the name of every video.

All the videos in one dated folder started from morning and went onto night time on the same day. They were not exactly long, some of them were short, but some of them were long – especially the videos, and in every folder there was usually at least one video included, which meant that Hyunwoo and Yoseob had really healthy lives… maybe too healthy.

Sooyeon went onto another dated folder and clicked on the first video. It showed a sleeping Hyunwoo, hair mussed up, snoring lightly with a blanket covering his torso. A soft giggle was heard, and she was sure it was Yoseob’s. The video shook slightly as Yoseob’s face appeared and the younger man pecked a still sleeping Hyunwoo lightly on the lips. Another giggle was heard before the video cut off into black.

The videos were basically mundane videos of Hyunwoo and Yoseob doing mundane things. A walk in the park, them playing with dogs and Yoseob chasing them around – he was such a pushover because the dogs were basically chasing after him and not the other way around – Hyunwoo on the sofa reading with his reading glasses, a snippet of Hyunwoo in the bathroom taking a shower, and so on. For some videos, Hyunwoo were aware of them and even took part in the making, but on some, Hyunwoo was as lost as a baby.

Sooyeon cleared and the man, whose name Yoseob could finally remember now (it was Byung Jin and he was the genius hacker and some for NSS) shifted in his seat uncomfortably as she clicked open another video, this one was in the kitchen, early in the morning. After some groaning and s, Yoseob started to lather some strawberry jam on Hyunwoo’s exposed s and went lower lower lower – Sooyeon clicked the video shut. Yoseob was expressionless; he was too troubled to feel ashamed of people watching his videos. He would do a live show in front of everyone if that meant exonerating Hyunwoo from the false accusation.

It was an excruciating two hours before Sooyeon spoke again, “Yoseobah, you need to leave all of these videos to us, okay. Byung Jin here will take your external hard disks. You can take your phone with you.” She said with an assuring smile on her face. Byung Jin was about to take the hard disks away when Yoseob grabbed and pressed them onto his chest possessively, staring hard at Sooyeon and Byung Jin, “These are mine. You can copy whatever you want, but I am taking my disks home.”

“Yoseobah –“

Yoseob glared at Sooyeon again.

Sooyeon leaned back and held up her hands mid air, signaling her defeat, “Okay, fine. I’m not taking anything from you. Byung Jin is going to take his laptop and copy your videos. You can bring your hard disks home.” Yoseob nodded again but still hugging onto his hard disks. Byung Jin immediately went out the room to get his laptop.

“Can I know your reasoning behind all those videos?” Sooyeon asked gently when Byung Jin left.

“I love him. I love him so much. So so much that I need to… I am not stupid, Noona.” Yoseob frowned at her, like she just called him names. “People might think I am some air-headed idiotic idol, but I’m not. I know Ahjussi is more than some police he said to me. Police don’t do dangerous , I saw the bruises and scars on him. He would sometimes go missing, uncontactable for a few days and I would go insane with worry.” Yoseob looked down and started to twist his fingers on his lap, “I just want to… I want to have him… my time with him is precious and I am not wasting a second of it. I want to make it forever… I know that whatever Ahjussi was doing was dangerous, and he would be hurt and injured or he might not come home for a while or he might be dead.” Yoseob shrugged his shoulder weakly, “I just want to have him with me. These are… memories of a lifetime.”

Sooyeon felt a rush of sadness and affection towards the fragile boy in front of her. He was so young and so brave and she just wanted to hug him so tight and tell him everything is gonna be okay but instead she asked the technicality of the videos because they were still under formal investigation. “Yoseobah, how do you shoot all of your videos? You get a third party to film them for you?”

Yoseob tilted his head in feigned innocence, “I don’t think Ahjussi is into voyeurism yet, although I think it’s really hot. But no, there were only two of us. I fitted Hyunnie with some cameras – “

“Hyunnie?”

Yoseob waved his hand dismissively, “He is my teddy bear that Hyunwoo won for me on a night festival. He is so huge and he usually sits on the floor or on the table in the bedroom. I fitted a camera on his eyes so that I can film Ahjussi discreetly when I am hugging Hyunnie instead of using my phone or my camera. I need something to to when Ahjussi not around, Noona.”

Sooyeon raised an eyebrow as Yoseob spoke with a straight face. The younger man did not blink, nor did he blush, it was just like saying he needed a book to study during an afternoon chat.

“Don’t you feel a little apprehensive letting us copy everything? We might upload some on the internet.” Sooyeon asked.  

Yoseob shook his head adamantly, “I don’t give a . You can upload them anywhere, give them to the press, to the magazines, to whoever. I don’t give a as long as Ahjussi is freed. So have you found definite proof yet? Are my videos any good? Is Ahjussi exonerated yet? Do I provide an alibi for him?” Yoseob asked, frowning in anxiety.

Sooyeon cleared , “We did find an alibi for him for the Safe House attack and the murders of our agents. He was with you all the time from morning to night, so he won’t be accused of that. But we need an alibi for him losing his access card in Cambodia. He was suspected to be giving his access card to the threatening party. And we cannot fully free him of the accusations if we cannot prove that he is also innocent in this. I am sure you were not with him in Cambodia?”

“Is that all there is?” Yoseob asked, voice strangely cold and flat. “Is that all he is worth to you? To the organization? He had been so devoted to his work… to you. Lying to me all this time. Me, who live together with him. Me, who sleep with him every night. Me, who will die for him. We had fights about this, about you, you who he loved the most, you who I need to compete with,” Yoseob did some strange movements with his hands to convey his frustration, “We fought about his work, him being uncontactable, him gone missing. I cannot believe you take his devotion so lightly and suspect him so easily. Can’t you believe him just a little bit? Have a little more faith in him?” Yoseob’s eyes were slightly glassy as fresh tears threatened to fall. He could not believe that whatever Hyunwoo had done was taken so lightly. He was angry for Hyunwoo.

“You are wrong, I am doing this because of work, I never feel –“

“Team Leader Ji!” The loud bang of the door opening and a disheveled Byung Jin on the door cut Sooyeon off. “Team Leader Ji, I need to talk to you now.”

“What is it about?”

Byung Jin gulped, “It’s about Hyunwoo-sshi.”

“What happened to Ahjussi!” Yoseob was instantly out of his seat and on his feet, running towards Byung Jin for more information. His heart was thudding in his chest, he was so terrified, very very terrified.

Sooyeon was also on her feet, she grabbed Yoseob by the waist and held him back. The younger man was struggling but he immediately stopped and froze like a dead man when Byung Jin delivered the news.

“Shih Hyuk escaped. Hyunwoo was shot.”

Yoseob fell to the floor. He could not feel his heart beating anymore.

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There were noises. Far away noises.

Grunts.

Screams.

Shouts.

Hyunwoo was seeing blur. Mixture of colors and gradients.

Hot. It was hot but it did not burn his skin. Warm, instead, was a better word.

It was stuffy here, he could not breathe properly. The dead weight was still on him. He could smell the heat in the air. Something was burning, it smelled like something was burning, like metal and rubber, and Hyunwoo was sure there was a smoke somewhere. He wanted to open his eyes and confirm, but his eyelids were so heavy and shut like they were glued together.

Ah, he remembered. He was shot. The noises were louder but they were so far away like someone was calling him from another world – maybe he was dying and the Angel of Death was calling for him.

People said that dying people see flashes of their lives in front of their eyes. But all he saw was flashes of Yoseob. The way Yoseob smiled when Hyunwoo bought his favorite ice cream, the way Yoseob laughed when Hyunwoo said and did something stupid, the way Yoseob moaned when Hyunwoo went in and out in and out, the way Yoseob Hyunwoo’s hair, the way Yoseob smiled happily and hugged Hyunwoo every time the older man walked into the apartment.

Flashes of white warm skin and I love you so much ahjussi so so much.

Maybe Hyunwoo’s life was so empty that nothing but Yoseob flashes in front of him when he was dying – because he only started living when he met Yoseob.

Or maybe because Yoseob was his whole life.

I love you.

Hyunwoo whispered into the hot air filled with smoke before Yoseob faded and all he saw was pure darkness.