So i have updated yay! applause... this iris 2 plot is killing me so i have decided to thwart it a little to fit my plot better. it's killing me just to watch it because i don't understand. i dont understand whatever that is going on in that drama (yes, because i am shallow like that and i cannot take politics and mysteries and whatever) and i am so sorry to say that it basically OTL

ommo iris collage has gone too long huh? my goodness i should end it asap because im sure it gets boring at a certain point lols! anywayss, enjoy reading. all mistakes are all mine and i hope they do not distract you from your reading pleasure. lots of love <333333

Hyunwoo pulled the sound-proofed headphones from his head and threw it carelessly onto the cluttered table in front of him. Keyboards, loose papers, and panels full of buttons and switches lay in front of him inside the van. On the monitors, Yoogun was calling someone from Sooyeon’s phone.

Through a series of unfortunate and dangerous events, Yoogun was caught and brought back to NSS headquarters, under tight supervision. The team leader was apparently taken away and brainwashed by IRIS after the devastating explosion in which Sooyeon and Hyunwoo were both sure the older man would have no chance of surviving. He was alive then, when everyone thought he was dead, and he even worked together with the enemy – IRIS – when everyone thought he was dead.

And then Yoogun shot Sooyeon during an encounter because the older man thought she shot him on the head, so he shot her for payback. Hyunwoo was there to find a bleeding Sooyeon on the dirty and dusty floor, face grimy with tears and her own blood. Now, the real Yoogun was back, albeit a little disoriented and very much suspicious of everyone else.

Sooyeon, on the other hand, was too happy to have Yoogun back. It did not matter that the older man was brainwashed before and was part of IRIS – she brought him back home because the captivity space was much too cold, according to Sooyeon. She also reasoned that it would be much easier to keep an eye on him when they are under the same roof. This excuse got her an approval.

Yoogun and a few men of his choice were secretly dispatched to monitor the apartment. Cameras had been fitted in every vital corner of Yoogun’s old apartment and every movement was captured on the monitors in front of Hyunwoo. He did not want to do this, he hated the fact that he was snooping around in some trailer van and watching every move on Yoogun, the man he had considered an older brother for as long as he could remember.

“He is making a phone call. Should we alert the Headquarters on this?” one of the agents asked Hyunwoo, breaking his train of thoughts.

Hyunwoo shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. “No, we’ll monitor him more, just note this down.” The young agent nodded and typed the event efficiently on his report.

Hyunwoo leaned back on his chair and closed his eyes. He was just absolutely exhausted. He had not been home for a night – this was his second day of not having gone home – and he wondered if Yoseob had flooded his phone with messages and missed calls. Hyunwoo had left his phone in the Headquarters to avoid any location-tracking process that could be done through his phone. Every agent’s phone was fitted with a tracking device so as to ease any effort of sending help during emergencies, and also to minimize any suspicious actions within the organization.

“Sir, we are caught. What are we going to do?” A voice broke through Hyunwoo’s line of thoughts. He quickly looked at the screen and found that one by one the cameras inside the apartment were taken down by Yoogun until there were only fuzzy black and white dots on the monitor screens.

Not too long after, Hyunwoo heard some muffled noises outside the hidden trailer van and knew that his men must be trying to prevent Yoogun from going away. He ran out quickly, to find two of his men lying helplessly on the ground near Yoogun’s feet. Hyunwoo strode confidently towards Yoogun and stood in front of him, unmoving.

“What is this, Seo Hyunwoo? Who ordered you to this?” Yoogun held up a bunch of camera cables and threw them to the ground harshly.

“I can’t tell you that, Team Leader.” Hyunwoo replied.

Yoogun grew angry as his nostrils flared and his eyes widened, he grabbed Hyunwoo roughly by the collar of his black suit, “TELL ME!”

Hyunwoo was quiet for a while, saddened by the state Yoogun was in now before he said, “Even if there isn’t any order, I would still do this on my own.” Hyunwoo stared Yoogun down as he reminded the greatest sin Yoogun had ever committed, “You shot Sooyeon.”

Yoogun felt sick to his stomach as he watched Hyunwoo’s face filled with sorrow. He loosened his grip on Hyunwoo’s collar but tightened it again as the younger man asked, “Would you be able to trust someone like that?”

“Stop it, Seo Hyunwoo!”

Both men looked towards the voice, Sooyeon was standing right behind Yoogun, witnessing the whole exchange all this while. She continued, “What the hell are you talking about? You know that happened under what kind of circumstances.”

Yoogun released his grip on Hyunwoo and the younger man could do nothing but sigh and silently walked away from the scene. He knew he said the unforgivable to Yoogun but the older man should know and he should be aware on what was going on right now. The fact that he shot Sooyeon would never change and the additional fact that he worked for IRIS for the few months made him a suspect of being a double agent, someone that Hyunwoo was sure Yoogun was not.

The cameras and the snooping around were just the tip of the iceberg. Hyunwoo knew the Organization would do more things to Yoogun, perhaps treating him like a traitor instead of an ex-agent; and that would break Hyunwoo’s heart even more.

Cycling his white electric bike home, Hyunwoo’s mind was filled with Yoogun, Yoogun and Sooyeon, and more Yoogun. He was scared for him, he was worried about him, he knew Yoogun would not betray the Organization but people did not see it that way, and he was so afraid if Yoogun was really a spy after all. He could not imagine what would happen to him – what would happen to Sooyeon.

He was so tired. He just wanted to go home and sleep.

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The first second Hyunwoo opened his apartment door, he could feel something was different – not wrong, just different. He looked at the row of shoes and found more shoes neatly lined against the wall, shoes which were not his, colorful and smaller-sized shoes. He toed his shoes off and padded slowly into the living room.

“Ahjussi?” Yoseob’s face appeared all of a sudden and he smiled at the sight of Hyunwoo coming in from the short entrance hallway. “Welcome home!”

Hyunwoo frowned at his living room. If he could still call it his living room.

Yoseob bounced happily from the kitchen, putting the cold bottle of water away and hugged the older man affectionately. He rested his head on Hyunwoo’s sturdy chest and squeezed the older man’s waist a little bit tighter. He was disappointed when Hyunwoo did not come home last night and he was alone for two days, but it gave him more time to move in and arrange his things.

Hyunwoo was still standing at the entrance of the living room. His apartment… changed, as if he did not live there for the past few years. It was just two days and one night, and here he came home to a different house. He was not angry (he was too tired to be angry), he was not upset, he was just… stunned, surprised to a certain extent, and not the good kind of surprised.

When he left, his apartment was still… his. Now it looked like… something not his. There were action figurines on the TV cabinet – Superman, Captain America and their friends – a few scented candles, some other knick knacks, and colorful mat fabrics where those items were displayed on.  The sofa was filled with throw pillows but there was little to no changes in his kitchen, the older man figured Yoseob had nothing kitchen-y to be brought over. From where Hyunwoo was standing, he could see a glimpse of his bedroom. On the bed, there were a few piles of clothes – which he assumed were Yoseob’s – and he did not even want to know the condition of his bathroom or his closed working room.

“Ahjussi?” Yoseob looked up, to see an emotionless Hyunwoo staring at the mess that was his apartment. The younger man frowned, because no reaction was so much worse that the worst reaction.

“Ahjussi…” Yoseob repeated.

Hyunwoo was silent, emotionless as he roamed the apartment with his eyes. He had no strength left to argue with Yoseob. He wanted to go home, drink a can of beer or so and then shower before going to his bed to faint. A Yoseob to cuddle would be excellent, but a Yoseob who trampled all over his place without his consent was not the Yoseob he wanted to cuddle with. But still, he leaned down and kissed Yoseob’s hair. The younger man deserved that much after being left behind for two days straight.

“Hey.” Hyunwoo said gently, pushing himself (and Yoseob who still latched on him) into the apartment. “What’s going on here?”

 “What do you mean what’s going on?” Yoseob blinked his eyes a few times.

“All of your stuff are here…”

Yoseob grinned at that, “I’m moving in! Isn’t that obvious? Are you happy that I’m here? Oh, I have no wardrobe for my clothes in your room, so I’m a little confused on where I should keep all my things.” Yoseob unlatched himself from the hug and ran to the bedroom to show Hyunwoo a few of his items that were still looking for a place to settle in. “So I’m putting everything on the bed for now, but I can move them somewhere else later on. I am planning to warm up some food in the kitchen so I haven’t really thought of these stray things like those inside the boxes over there…” The passionate idol gestured to the few boxes still lying on the corner of the apartment.

Hyunwoo smiled ruefully as he shrugged out of his suit and sat down on his sofa, after he cleared away some of the soft throw pillows aside so he could find a spot to sit on.

“Ahjussi, you are not happy?” Yoseob’s eyebrows met in a frown.

Hyunwoo shrugged, he was too tired for this. “I’m okay with this. It’s just that maybe… it’s a little… maybe…”

“What? A little what?”

Hyunwoo sighed because there was no going back after this, “It was a little too soon, Yoseob. Don’t you think so? All of these moving in…”

“Too soon?” Yoseob widened his eyes like Hyunwoo was the one crazy instead of him being crazy. “This is too soon? What do you mean to soon? I spent my days here often anyways, so what is the big deal?”

“At least you can try to talk to me about this first instead of just transferring all of your belongings here.” Hyunwoo’s eyes were red, he was just mentally and physically exhausted from everything that happened in two days. And the last thing he needed was another tiring argument with Yoseob.  

“You gave me a key.”

“I gave you a key because I did not want to see you sleeping outside, curled up in uncomfortable positions that could give your neck a crick. It’s autumn now, it’s cooler and you are always here only in your pajamas. I gave you the key so you can comfortably sleep under the comforter when I am not around and when I am out of reach.”

Yoseob scoffed at Hyunwoo, “Yeah and you are always out of reach. Where the hell have you been for the past two days? You did not come home last night. What is going on with you, now?”

Hyunwoo swallowed his anger down. He did not want to be angry, he did not want to upset Yoseob, but he slowly felt annoyed and that annoyance bubbled up into a very ugly fury inside his gut. There was nothing he would hide from Yoseob, no trace of his work spilled into his personal life, but then there was a small part of him that was afraid for Yoseob’s safety for being acquainted with him, although he was sure that the Organization would not leak anything personal out.

The older man stayed quiet, he could not answer Yoseob’s question. But he also understood where Yoseob was coming from. Hyunwoo had yet to switch his phone on, going straight home because he was sure Yoseob would be there waiting for him.

“I’m sorry. I just… I’m sorry. I should at least text you. My phone is still off now…” Hyunwoo pulled his phone out and laughed at the blank screen bitterly.

“You can’t answer me.” Yoseob scoffed at Hyunwoo’s answer, “It was because of work, wasn’t it? Because your work was more important than me!” Yoseob screamed at the older man, who was still sitting quietly on the sofa, acting like he deserved every word which was screamed at him. Yoseob was suddenly enraged because this was unfair. This was unfair and Yoseob did not deserve it. This was unfair and Yoseob deserved better. “I put you first a lot of times, Seo Hyunwoo! I pushed back my schedules so that we could go to your soccer practice and the market… and the night festival… and the music performance I arranged just for you because you needed to go to Hungary… The things I went through just for you!”

Hyunwoo’s face crumpled in sadness as he listened to Yoseob screaming his heart out. He had failed Yoseob and his stomach knotted in the most disgusting way as a tear escaped Yoseob’s round eyes. He wanted to jump up and reach out to Yoseob, to envelop Yoseob in a warm embrace and whisper sweet nothings into the younger man’s ear, to keep Yoseob tight against his chest and rock him to sleep. But he did not deserve any of that. He wondered if this was it – the moment Yoseob had finally realized that Hyunwoo did not deserve him and that the younger man was only wasting his very precious time on Hyunwoo.

Yoseob was on the peak of his outrage. He stared at Hyunwoo who was still quiet and sitting on the sofa in the middle of a mountain of his throw pillows. His mouth was on the loose, there was no way anyone could hold the broken dam. “And don’t get me started on Sooyeon. How ing blind can you be? That woman doesn’t love you and will never love you in this life! And you threw everything under her feet and begged for her love.” Yoseob swallowed the bile rising up to his throat, a small part of him screamed for him to stop before the damage got out of hand because he had said more than what he should, but the big ugly part of him ignored that small voice and kept on going, disregarding the hurt flashing through his beloved Ahjussi’s face.

“I am the one working the relationship,” Yoseob pointed to his chest, he could not stop the waterworks, “From the first time in that damned Inwangsil, to getting you to see me, to chasing and texting you around, to sleeping in front of your door waiting for you, to getting you like me even a little. It was all me! I am the only one working in this relationship. And talk to you about moving in? I will be grey and old before you say yes to me moving in!”

Yoseob’s words buzzed through Hyunwoo’s ears, cut his chest open, and sliced his heart. Whatever Yoseob said was the truth. He was the fool for loving Sooyeon, for caring over her, for letting her break his heart over and over again. He was the fool for not loving Yoseob back earlier, for forcing him to sacrifice his own life for Hyunwoo, for making him cry, for hurting him, for breaking his heart.

“I don’t deserve this,” Yoseob laughed bitterly as he tried to swallow back the tears that kept rolling down, “… I don’t deserve this. I deserve better! I deserve someone who would love me more, who would die for me, who would always be by my side, who would be there for me. I deserve someone better than you!”

As soon as the words left Yoseob’s mouth, the younger man widened his eyes in shock, tears streaming down his face. Yoseob quickly covered his mouth with both hands because he did not mean what he said, he was just so angry, he was so angry of being left alone, he was so pissed off that Hyunwoo did not contact him, he was so tired of getting worried. He stared at Hyunwoo’s face to look for a cringe of his eyes, a twitch in his mouth, a scrunch on his nose, anything… any emotion.

But no. Hyunwoo’s face was absolutely calm, as if the older man had known Yoseob would say it and he was merely waiting for it this whole time. Hyunwoo looked down as his heart clenched painfully in his chest. He had never known such powerful punch to his gut until today, and it was not from a fist. The pain traveled up his spine and he jolted from the force of the pain. His heart was in so much pain that he felt the force of it physically.

“I’m sorry…” Yoseob hiccupped. “I’m sorry, that wasn’t… Ahjussi, I did not mean it that way… Ahjussi… No, no, no, no… No, no…” Yoseob sobbed as he scampered to hold on to Hyunwoo who was already on his way out. The older man had stood up from the sofa and took his suit before walking to the door quietly.

“No, I’m sorry, don’t leave me…” Yoseob begged as he stood in the entrance hallway, watching Hyunwoo put on his shoes, ready to go out. “Where are you going? Please don’t leave me… Please… I’m sorry…” Yoseob stood there dumbly as he bawled his eyes out, regretting every single word he had said because of his stupid anger. He would kill to be able to hug Hyunwoo now, but he was sure the older man wanted nothing to do with him, so he just stood there, trembling and pathetic in his sobs.

Hyunwoo stood back up after putting his shoes on. He smiled kindly, “I’m going to get us some new furniture so you can keep more of your stuff here. Didn’t you say earlier you have no place to keep your stuff here?”

Yoseob did not know what went to him first – shock, relief, guilt, shame, love – everything merged into one because Hyunwoo was not leaving him after everything he had screamed at the older man. Hyunwoo was keeping him here, buying more furniture and creating space for Yoseob in his apartment, in his life, even after all of the nasty accusations and cruel words. He had let Yoseob moved in with him although it was a childish one-sided decision from Yoseob and he was buying more furniture for Yoseob to properly move in.

Hastily, Yoseob launched himself to Hyunwoo and hugged the older man tight – closer, closer, closer – and cried onto his chest, “I’m sorry… I love you, I love you… It was my crazy talking… I don’t mean it, I’m sorry… I don’t deserve you, you are too good for me… I love you, I love you so much…”

Hyunwoo wrapped his arms around Yoseob’s body, frowning because Yoseob was still too thin and now he was putting on more stress to the younger man, “I’m sorry I should have been better to you. Everything you said was true, I was a coward and I abandoned you. I’m sorry…”

“No.. no…” Yoseob’s head snapped up in a heartbeat to look at Hyunwoo, his face washed in horror, “No… you are perfect, you are perfect…”

Hyunwoo smiled as he leaned down and placed a kiss on Yoseob’s lips, salty and wet because of the tears. “I love you.”

Yoseob sobbed again, but this time it was happy tears, he was so relieved because he did not know how to live his life without Hyunwoo in it. He wiped his face from the tears as he wriggled out of Hyunwoo’s embrace. “I’ll get a jacket and go with you.”

Hyunwoo nodded, watching Yoseob ran inside and disappeared into the bedroom. His smile vanished as soon as Yoseob was out of sight. He wondered that maybe he did not deserve Yoseob after all.