"Sica wake up ! we have rehersals and then the concert! "

"aish yuri, okay im up."

I go next door to our stylists room to get ready. I find an empty chair and sit down , I really havent had enough sleep , I close my eyes as they do my hair and put my makeup on.

"uhh sicaa.... "

"is that you Jonghyun?"

"yea uhm... I dont wanna tell you thiss but --"

"I'll tlak to you in a little bit, i really need my extra minutes of sleep right now."

I hear the voices of super juniour coming in. Ignore them , ignore him ....

"Jessica... "

Crap thats Donghae...

"sleeping ... "

"buh jessica."

I've  had enough , i cant even sleep properly!

" WHAT?!"

I stood up and wipped out at him. everyone was staring at me. Was i really that loud. I turn around a looked in the mirror. well now i know why everyone wasbugging me...

" uhmm you didnt change out of your Pj's did you..."

I was wearing my pajamas still! really short -shorts that had the word "PINK" across them, and a very small tanktop. It was like I was wearing some trashier version of my stage outfit! In fron of everyone!! What do i do , im so embarassed! I've turned completley pink.

"Oh Sica, you sure are causing a nice scene for all the boys " Tiffany said jokingly.

I drop down in my chair so embarassed. 

"UNNIEEE! " I cry out for help.

" Aww aint our little ice princess cute?" Heechul adds in.

"here."

I look up to the corner of my chair. It was Donghae , he extended an arm to give me his sweater. I really wanted to take it. I reallly did, for two reasons, first because I honestly really needed some clothes, and secondly because I really did , sort of , love him. But then it occured to me that if YoonA saw she wouldnt be pleased.

" I'm okay. I'll just wear my stage outfit. Thanks anyways"

... He seemed shocked, i dont understand why. He shouldnt be acting so nice to me anyways. I get up grab my stage outfit, and walk in the bathroom to change. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror , i really do look sick these days. My cheeks have gone pale, and the bags under my eyes look terrible. My stage outfit.. !?!!?!  I slightly open the door to question the stylist . She was so far away !  Heechul was the closest.

" pss! pss!! Heechul! "

"yes?"

"can you call the stylist over for a second , please?"

"why is someone having a wardrobe malfunction.? "

"yes!"

Stylist : " Oh uhh whats wrong Jessica?"

"Heechul , cover you ears! ...... uhmm i think you've forgotten my shirt... "

I hear a snicker. Damn you Heechul always listening in on my conversations.

"noo see Sica, today your outfits been changed. You will be wearing a bando, instead of a full shirt. "

" Ohh... shut up Heechul."

As i finish changing , i get out wearing one of the most revealing outfits I've ever put on. I hope no one notices me...

" No Jessica, i think they really did forget your shirt..."

"aish heechul,be quiet! "

---------

At the concert :

Sunny: " You look gorgeous Sica! "

"keke well you look cute as always! "

"Thanks! We're on in 5 mins , get reeady , I'm going to get you back for touching my but last time!"

" ahah,  bring it! I'm gonna get a bottle of water from the refreshments table. Be right back"

As i open the door to leave. I see something I wish i never had. I'd rather die of de hydration then see this , ever. .... YoonA kissed Donghae on the lips. It was a  quick peck, but i still didnt need to see that. I'm not going to cry, I'm not I tell myself.

" Oh Sica unnie, opps! Did you see that ? Pretend you didnt, let it be our secret  , keke"

Donghaes eyes are piercing right through me.

"sure.. i'll pretend i never saw that."

I quickly walk away. Are they dating now? I should be happy for YoonA but why am i so sad. Why do I feel like a piece of me just shatterd. I stand at the table, staring off into space. I told my self i wouldnt cry and im not crying , it still hurts .

"Sica... sica... SICA! you need to get on stage now! The girls are already up there! Jessica!"

" Oh im soo sorry!"

" whats wrong? You look sick, and pale. Are you going to faint please dont. You have three songs, just finish the songs perfectly okay?."

I run , to the stage. Passing by Donghae. I can't stand to look at his face now. I might just start bawling if i do.

"You're really late.. "

" I'm sorry Tiff. "

three songs... how am i suppose to do this... Oh, Genie, then run devil run. I dont think i can do it, i feel so sick.

" Unnie are you okay?! You lost colour. You look like your gonna pass out."

"im fine,thanks sunny"

music starts

Genie is playing, and im trying to sing. My notes are way off, and my dancing is really sloopy. Im trying but my legs are so weak. Epp! I just bumbed into Sooyoung. The song  ends. Time for RDR. I start off the song, but as i turn around to sing my line, i fall flat. I try getting up, but i cant. Taeyeon trys to help me up but im to limp and fragile right now. I hear a weird nooise in my ear piece.

"Jessica?! do you hear me? get up and leave the stage."

I try listening to the stage director , but i cant get up. everythings so dizzy. The music stops. I just ruined the show. I feel so useless. i just ruined a show. Stage crew get up and hold me up, and walk me off stage. As i get down from stage, everyones telling me stuff.

" Do you need to go the hospital?"

"no just let me, sit down please."

i close my eye lids, everythings soo spinny.

Donghae: " I'll take her to the hospital!"

"dont...no.. "

I can onnly manage a whisper, before i feel him picking me up.

I wake up in a car. I knew it was Donghae's.

"im feeling better. take me back. "

"whats wrong with you, no."

"i said take me back. You have no business taking care of me ! "

"Of course , i do. We're ........ "

"exactly. bring me back, and go find YoonA."

"why must you always bring YoonA into this?! Im with you right now, im trying to care for you. "

"and i dont want your care! You left me 3 years ago , how about you leave me alone now."

he pulls over.

"okay, Sica. You win. What do you want? I was wrong okay. im sorry. are you done bickering with me now. Just let me back into your heart."

" I never wanted to win. I dont know why its hard to let you back in. Maybe because you shattered me once, I'm not ready for the second time."

"Jessica.... I need my best friend back, so just for once let me in. and i promise i wont hurt you."

"I want to let you in, but your going to hurt me regardless. So i cant. You love YoonA , and that hurts. I dont know if we can be friends"

"so you love me? "

"i dont know Donghae. I just need time to think."

"I cant say i love you Sica, but i do care about you a lot for some reason. I want to know what that reason is. So let me in. Just for a little bit. Let me figure out why.

"Okay fine. Donghae you get one week to figure out why you care."

"and you Jessica get one week to figure out if you love me or not."