Yuri: How y do I look in this dress?

OF course Yuri looked y, she was the iest of the group, not to mention it was a black some what see through, dress.

“that looks stunning on you yuri!”

“Thanks Sica! Try on this one”

I walk to the change room holding a white dress that is pretty revealing. Not as much as Yuri’s but still… I feel so uncomfortable putting it on. Im changing, all of a sudden I hear Yuri and Yoon’s voices…

Yuri: Yoona you okay? You look really upset…

“what do I do? Me and Donghae have been practically a thing… but he wont put a title on it. I don’t know what to do anymore. I want to call him my boyfriend. I want him to hug me and kiss me, everytime we see each other… I just don’t know how to feel anymore… “

They keep talking, but I stop listening. It hurts… it hurts more then I would think. I swear I’m over this guy. Donghae, what have you done to me. I hate seeing YoonA hurt. What can I do?   I step out of the change room .

Yuri: “ THAT LOOKS AMAZING SICA!”

“Your really y Sica!”

“Thanks  you two.!”

After an hour at the mall, we pick our dresses and leave. Yuri, got the black one. YoonA , got a short dark purple , see through back one, and I got the white one I previously tried on. We take the car back to the hotel to get ready for tonight.

-in the hall-

Yuri: “ Oh hi Suju!”

YoonA: Donghae oppa! We need to talk later…

Donghae” Of course Yoona”

Donghae turns his head my way, I don’t know what to do, so I walk away. I’ve made my way down the hallway, until I bump into someone. 

“Oh I’m so sorry—Hi jonghyun!”

“ Hello Sica! You coming tonight?”

“yup , the girls and I even went out to buy dresses!”

“Cool , well I’ll see you then.”

“yup!”

I walk back to my room. I walk in to see only YoonA , lying on her bed. She doesn’t look to good!

“YoonA, YOONA, wake up don’t scare me!”

“Aish Sica, im fine, just thinking.”

“Whats wrong?”

“Nothing , well yea something. Do you think Donghae loves me anymore?”

“he loved you…”

“yea… didn’t you know? He confessed to me a couple years ago before he went on tour for super junior M. It was the same night you came back crying because you … I don’t even remember..”

So the same night I confessed to you. You confessed to another girl… I hate you Lee Donghae. Crud im starting to tear up…! Can’t let YoonA see me like this!

“Ahh YoonA ive got to go.”

“Sica whats wrong..!!!”

I run out the door I cant let her see me like this. I run out of the hotel and into a nearby coffee shop.  I sit down in the closest table and throw my head down. I’m so stupid. I thought I could be okay with this… I cant!  Donghae loves my best friend. How could he have confessesd her on the same night, I confessed to him and he rejected me. I hate you  Lee Donghae.

“Sica? Are you okay? SICA!”

“Oh hi Jonghyun… yea im fine”

“No your not , now tell me whats wrong!”

I don’t know what to do. I needed a shoulder to lean on. I jump at him for a hug.

“Jonghyun- can you just stay still for a minute . I need a hug. I need someone warm.”
After my long akward hug with jonghyun, I tell him I was crying because I missed my family. Which was true for the most part… He really is a nice guy...   I go back to my room to find Yuri and YoonA trying on their dresses. Looks like we’re about to go out.

Yuri: “Sica hurry! Put your dress on! We’re going in 10 mins!”

“mkaai give me a second.”

I get my dress on and we head out to the club. We go to the club called “ Stars reserved” It  literally is reserved for stars, or well really rich people.  I walk in to see the Suju boys already there. A lot of the boys are looking our way. Im kind of worried is my dress to short? I look around and accidently catch Donghae’s eyes. It makes me want to cry, it also makes me hate him more.

Heechul : “ Hi sica! Nice dress, a little short don’t you think?”

“Aish Heechul! Is it really that short?! I don’t want to give off the wrong impression

“ahem”

“O hell--- Donghae.”

“Yea… Jessica can we talk?”

“I’m talking to someone right now.”

Heechul: “ Oh I’ll leave , its alright. Have fun Sica”

Damn you Heechul.

“What.”

“Don’t have to be so mean Jessica, lets talk outside.”

I follow him outside.

“Okay , now what do you want?”

“Jessica, whats wrong. You haven’t talked to me all week. I walked down yesterday to the café and saw you hugging Jonghyun. Whats going on between you two?!”

“whats wrong with me?! YOU! Everything has always been difficult with you! We haven’t talked because I made it clear, I wanted space! And whatever goes on with me and Jonghyun is none of your damn business”

Im crying my eyes out at this point.

“JESSICA! Calm down, please. Im just worried about you.”

“Worried? Donghae… I don’t want you to be worried about me. I want you to leave. I want to never see you again. It hurts to see your face. It rips me to pieces to look at you and YoonA. So what I need is for you to just leave. Think of this as closure. This is it.  This is as far as we go.”

“why are you being like this Jessica… What happened?”

“What happened? You know what happened it happened years ago. And you know what hurts the most is knowing you confessed to YoonA the same day I confessed to you. So I’m saying this honestly and upfront. Just leave me alone. Let me hurt by myself. Continue on with your life, and let me continue with mine. Date YoonA , because I swear if you hurt her, your dead to me. “

“Sica…”

I leave , I run. I run as far as I can. I get all the way to this bridge.  I don’t even know where I am anymore. But I don’t care. I look over the horizon and just let myself cry.