I’ve reached the hotel, and now im just lying in my bed. YoonA and Yuri are still out , so its just me… lying alone in the dark... I don’t know how to feel anymore, regardless im going to be hurt. The only solution to this is to it up, like I always have. YoonA’s my best friend, she was there for me since before our debut and she still is. I wont let a guy get in the way of our friendship, wouldn’t really matter that guy is obviously head over heels for her.

“Aish Yuri don’t drink to much next time! Oh, shhh Sica’s asleep..”

“Shh , YoonA… What did…. You and Donghae do when you left the group?”  (whisper)

“ I’ll tell you tommrow. What happened to Sica she left so early. Jonghyun was looking for her…”

“ Ouu Jonghyun and Sica , how cute. You and Donghae too, what about me?! “

I stop listening now, because I can feel the warm tears sliding down my face. I need some air. I wait till YoonA and Yuri have fallen asleep, and tip toe out the door, with my sweater. I walk to the closest bench and curl up onto a ball, and cry it all out. When tears stopped coming, I sat back and looked up at the stars. I remembered looking at the stars with Donghae 3 years ago, we would just lye in silence, he didn’t know but I would steal glances at him when he wasn’t looking.

“Sica? What are you doing out so late?!”

“Oh Jonghyun! Nothing, just needed some air. You?”

“I was going for a run, I couldn’t sleep… Is everything alright?”

“….. yeaa--..”

“lets not talk about It then, would you like to join me?”

“running? You better run slow”

Running in the middle of night through Beijing, its probably the happiest I’ve felt this whole trip. I steal a glance at Jonghyun he really is something. His smile is so cute, and his personaility so caring. We stop for some water. Jonghyun comes out of the store with two bottles of water, and hands me one.

“thanks”

“noproblem. Sica? I’m always seeing you sad these days. I know you probably don’t want to talk about it so I just wanted to let you know that I’ll always be there for you, even if its just going for a midnight run.

“To be honest Jonghyun, I feel that you’re the one person who can make me smile at time like these. I can’t lean on anyone right now, and with you, it just feels different. You don’t question me, with you I feel comfortable. So thank you for tonight , I really needed this.”

He leans in and hugs me, I don’t resist because It feels nice to know someones there. We walk the rest of the way back, Donghae doesn’t even cross my mind, its like all my worries are gone. As we were walking back we turn the corner to see Donghae and YoonA. It seems like they’re arguing.

Y: “ I can’t take it anymore! I know you’ve been busy, but lately I feel so ignored around you. Where has your mind been lately? You know I really like you, maybe even love. But I need to know how you feel about me aswell.

D:  I care about you YoonA, I do. My minds been everywhere lately , Im sorry. Just been distracted.

“Donghae… lets—“

D:“Oh hi, Sica, Jonghyun…”

Jong: “Hi Donghae, Yoona…”

Jessica: “Well, we should get going, you guys have your talk.”

D: “Wait Sica!”

Why did he do that?! YoonA and Jonghyun are right there!

“Donghae, lets just drop it. I’ll leave you two to talk.”