Li An’s POV

“Li An...”

“We just... aren’t anymore...”

“It’s over, we’re over.”

I awoke from the nightmare - one I’d had more than I cared to count - and sprung from my bed screaming; waking up Sehun who had been sleeping beside me. I started pulling at my hair and flailing my arms everywhere. Sehun wrapped his arms around me, holding me extremely tight. I started to calm down after a while and Sehun eventually let go. He turned my body round so I was facing him. I placed my head upon his shoulder and cried softly into it.

This had been happening every night for around a month. It started happening when Baekhyun... Ever since he left me, I’ve been having these nightmares. The nightmare didn’t even have images, it was just Baekhyun’s voice whispering those words: the last words he said to me.

I felt Sehun place his hand on my head and away the tangles gently. Sehun had been nothing but kind to me this month. He always stayed with me;  consoled me when I had these nightmares, and he always listened to me even if all I did was talk about Baekhyun. He gave me whatever I needed, whenever I needed it. He was so patient with me. I couldn’t help but be thankful to him considering all he did for me and all he was sacrificing: he never went home to see his family; he refused to go to school despite the amount of times I told him to go; he’s stayed by me.

I heard Sehun sigh and he gently pushed me off his shoulders, looking softly into my eyes. He took his hands and placed them on my cheeks and gently them. I felt my cheeks heat up and I quickly backed away from him. This had also been happening a lot recently. I’d find myself blushing a lot more around Sehun. I didn’t want to though. It felt wrong, but I liked it and the more I thought about the more I got confused about the whole situation. Did Sehun feel the way about me? I wanted him to - I desperately wanted him to, but I still missed Baekhyun. And no matter if he had left me, I’d still feel as if I was betraying him.

“We are going somewhere today,” Sehun blurted out. Instantly, I started to panic; the tears rolling down my face once again.

“What? No! Please, don’t make me. I don’t want to go out today. What if we bump into Baekhyun? What if he sees me like this?! What if he laughs at me!? What if...What if...”

Sehun pulled me into a hug again.

“You’ll be fine, I promise,”

“I won’t be! I know it! I can’t see him... I can’t...”

Sehun pushed me off of him and grabbed hold onto my shoulders firmly and started shaking them.

“Stop it! Stop thinking like that! He wants you to think like that! He wants you to feel miserable! If you see him you should just ignore him! Look at me and smile! Don’t let him win! I won’t let you continue living like this! Don’t you know I care about you!” he screamed at me. I stared back at him with wide eyes; the words not fully sinking in yet.

“Get ready. I’ll be waiting downstairs,” he told me quietly, not looking me in the eye anymore. I watched him as he stood up and quickly slipped his t-shirt back on and grabbing a pair of socks before leaving my room. I stared at the door for a few minutes. I couldn’t believe Sehun said all that stuff to me. He cared for me? I felt my heart beat faster than normal and I felt extremely flustered. I rolled off of the bed and ran over to my vanity table. I started fanning my face with my hand to cool myself down. This was wrong. Why was I feeling this way? We were just friends. Sehun was a friend who had been for me whenever I needed him to be. He was a friend who consoled me in times when all I would do is cry and he was a friend who would sleep in the same bed as me. That was okay though. Friends share beds, right? Even if he is a guy... Alix and I used to sleep in the same bed all the time so it was perfectly normal! I’ve let Chanyeol sleep in my bed! Then again, I was crashing on the floor... But that’s besides the point! It’s completely normal for friends to share beds!

Yet, if it was so normal, why am I totally freaking out like this?!

Calm down.

I had to calm down.

I rushed into the my en-suit bathroom and took a quick shower. I ran out of the shower and grabbed my hair dryer and started drying my hair. Why was I rushing so quickly? Even for Baekhyun I would always take my time. I pressed my lips together. Actually, I would always make sure I was purposely late whenever Baekhyun and I would go on a date. I thought it was cute at how annoyed he would get. I frowned as I turned off the hair dryer and throwing it on the bed. 

This was not a date. This was just two friends hanging out. Otherwise, I’d be acting like I used to with Baekhyun... I think...

I sat in front of the mirror, putting my make up on. For a while, I was smiling, but it turned into a frown. This really wasn’t fair on Baekhyun. I stood up after doing my hair and make up and couldn’t help but feel terrible about everything. I felt the tears drip down onto the carpet as I got dressed. I heard a knock on the door.

“Li An! Come on!” Sehun said.

“I-I’m coming!” I said wiping my eyes and quickly leaving the room.

This wasn’t a date. I had nothing to feel guilty about. The fact that I still did was irrelevant. 


Talk to the characters on ask.fm~