DooJoonx___

It was 3 am and I was lying on my bed, starring up at the ceiling, remembering every single memory that we ever had. Missing you was the worst feelings ever. I lay there on my bed, feeling the emptiness by my side, feeling that cold feeling without your warm arms wrapped around my tiny waist.

Your warm deep breathes against my ears and my face snuggling against your well built chest, inhaling your wonderful scent. Tears fell from my eyes as I hug the pillow that you always used. It wasn’t right. It didn’t feel like it did before. You were always there to wipe the tears that spilled from my eyes, and told me, “You don’t deserve to cry. Smile because that is what I want to see”.

Simplest things you did always was a joy. Being your dorky self and singing random love songs when we are together always brought a smile to my face. And your random dancing brought laughter amongst us. I just don’t understand why you are gone. It hurts to see you away from me. It pains my fragile heart. You took me out of the darkness and brought me light. But now that you are gone from me, darkness is what I see again. No more smiles or happiness.

No one can ever love me the way you did. No one can make me smile the way you did.

You were the only person that has truly seen my smile and laughter. The first day we met, you told me that I needed to smile and be more happier. At first, I didn’t take your advice. I thought that  you were just some random guy who was annoying. Actually, you WERE annoying. You were always by my side, telling me to smile. I hated you in fact. You wouldn’t understand me. I didn’t want to get hurt like I did with others many times. But you, you wouldn’t even leave me alone until you saw that smile.

-flashback-

“Yah! ____ can you please smile?” he asked. “Why?” I told him coldheartedly. “Come on! Just once. You need to be happy come on. Smile”, “Why do you care? You are just some random guy at school and here you are telling people to be happy? Well, sorry to burst your bubble dude, but not everyone is happy”, I spat back at him. He starred at me and for some reason, it annoyed me. I turned to walk away but I felt someone pull my arm back and there he was looking at me. “What are you doing?” I asked him trying to pull my arm away. “I know that I don’t know you at all, but don’t call me weird, but I feel like you need someone there to be by your side. I don’t know you well, but I could just see it in you that you need someone to listen, to be there for you, to hold you, to care for you. Get to know me more. Lets be friends and I will show you that I will never betray you like whoever did it to you”. He sounded like he was begging.

It was weird. I had no idea how to even respond. I wanted to but then I didn’t. “Please. My name is Yoon DooJoon”, he smiled that cute crooked smile. I looked at him and pulled my arm away, “I don’t need you. Sorry Yoon DooJoon”, I said and walked away from him as fast as I could.

-end-

Ever since that day, you never left my side. You constantly annoyed the heck out of me. I guess that was one of your traits that I liked. You were always there for me through the stupid tears and cries for help. The more that I think about you, the more tears fall from my eyes. I miss you Yoon DooJoon. I love you always.

I got up and went to the bathroom and took out my blade. I haven’t used this since DooJoon came into my life.

-flashback-

(first time he saw her cut)

I was at school and hidden behind the sports shed. No one goes over there at all. I sat there crying because of what my family did to me. I don’t deserve to live. I cut myself with the blade and it felt good. There was no pain. There was no feeling there at all. Tears flowed out of my eyes like a river. Blood poured out of my arms. I couldn’t take it. The pain was just unbearable.

“YAH WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!” I was in shock and looked to the side and saw the annoying kid DooJoon starring at me with wide eyes. I glared at him and ignored him and kept going. He doesn’t matter. They all say that they will be there for you but then once they truly see yourself, they run away and call you freak. “STOP IT ____! STOP!” “NO! WHY WOULD YOU CARE?! YOU ARE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE! GO AHEAD CALL ME A FREAK! CALL ME STUPID!” I sobbed and kept going. He ran in front of me and grabbed the blade away from me. “NO! I WILL NEVER CALL YOU THAT! Don’t you remember?! I said that I will be there for you when you need me. Why don’t you just believe me?! I am being sincere here _______. I will never leave your side ever. I am not like those stupid people”, he said and took out his extra shirt and wrapped it around my arm.

He tied it so that there was pressure to stop the bleeding. He looked at me and fixed my hair away from my face, wiped the tears from my eyes and caressed my face. I sat there looking so pathetic and weak. I cried and held his hand on my cheek. He moved to sit next to me and he pulled me closer to him cradling me  and hugging me close to him. It felt so warm and for once, I felt a strong feeling of trust with him. “Shhhh….Just let them out. I will be right here. Listening to everything”.

(second time)

I was at the same place again. Another argument with the family, but this time, they kicked me out. I had no where to go. No one wanted me. I don’t want to burden anyone. I know I promised DooJoon that I wouldn’t cut, but I needed to. I had no choice. The pain was unbearable to control. I felt like I was going to break anytime soon.

“STOP IT! _____!” I heard DooJoon call my name. “DIDN’T I TELL YOU TO STOP?!” he scolded me and did the same procedure he did when he saw me the first time. “They don’t want me. they don’t love me”, I whispered and cried. He looked at me in shock. “Bwoh?! YOUR FAMILY KICKED YOU OUT?!” He exclaimed. I just looked down crying. He hugged me tightly, “Why didn’t you tell me”, he asked. I cried and held onto him feeling like I was going to fall. “If you are thinking you will burden me. you better throw that thought away”, he warned me.

“And why didn’t you just tell me? you promised me _____ that you would STOP cutting!” I looked down feeling embarrassed. He sighed and wiped my tears away. “Don’t worry, I am here. This better be the last time _____ please. I don’t want you to keep doing this. I beg you”, he said. I had the courage to look up at him and I saw tears in his eyes. “Why are you crying?” I asked him in shock. “Because! I am feeling your pain and it hurts me seeing you like this! It hurts more when I see you doing that!” He pointed at the blade on the floor. “I don’t want to see you cry or being hurt. You are in pain, I feel that pain as well ____”. He hugged me and kissed my forehead.

-end-

I stood there in the bathroom starring at myself. I am sorry DooJoon.

I cant take the pain without you here.

It is killing me softly and being here without you, has no meaning to my life anymore.

I want to be there with you.

For so manny months that passed by when you were gone, were extremely painful.

I cried and stabbed myself. Blood poured out and the pain was unbearable. I sat down on the bathroom floor, leaning on the wall and stabbed myself again. Tears fell from my eyes. I need you DooJoon. You were always there for me. I felt my eyes getting heavier and heavier. I closed my eyes and darkness is what was filled of me now. I love you DooJoon. Just wait for me there.

Hey Hey HEEEEYYYY~!!!!

Haha! Well, this one was not requested but just by my own writing :) How did you guys like it?

Sad and depressing right? >.<

I wanted to try something a little different than what I usually do.

I would love to hear your comments about this story! (^_^)

Hope you guys are having a great day! :D

I have no classes today so I am just relaxing now haha! :DDDDD

See y'all soon! :D -muah- <3