Warning: sorry in advance

Chapter 8

Everyone was quietly minding their own business in the waiting room before recording would begin for their brief television appearance that afternoon. Chunji and L.Joe were eating together at a table while Changjo was getting his makeup retouched in the other corner. CAP was standing near their manager and some of the crew going over some last minute preparations.

Ricky sat with the two who were eating, trying to snatch some morsels from their plate.

“Hyung,” he cried. “I’m hungry.”

“You’re always hungry,” Chunji retorted, popping another strawberry into his mouth.

“But really I am. I’m gonna die,” Ricky pouted.

“You already ate all your food. Stop trying to steal mine,” Chunji retorted.

“Be nice, Chanhee,” L.Joe scolded and held his fork up with a piece of pineapple on it. “Here, Changhyun.”

“Thanks hyung!” Ricky beamed and ate it off L.Joe’s fork.

“You’re spoiling him,” Chunji said to L.Joe. “And you need to eat your food too you know. Go bother Jonghyun.”

“He’s in makeup,” Ricky said, stealing one of L.Joe’s strawberries.

“What about Daniel?”

“He’s—OW!” Ricky cried out as Chunji stabbed him softly with his plastic spork. “Hyung!”

“Leave Byunghun’s food alone! Find Niel… shoo!”

“Fine!” Ricky said and he left the table to look for Niel.

He didn’t think it’d be too hard. The dressing room wasn’t really so big but when he looked around Niel was nowhere in sight. He wasn’t napping on the couch, and his lunch box was empty sitting on the side table on top of his abandoned book. Where could Niel be? Ricky decided to go out and look for him.

If Niel went to the bathroom then Ricky could just go as well.

He exited the noisy dressing room without any resistance. Everyone was too busy in their own tasks to even notice him go out. Looking both ways down the hall and seeing nothing of interest Ricky decided to go to the bathroom first since that was the most plausible place to find his other member. He followed the green sign in the direction being sure to get out the way of some interns who came down the hall pushing a cart of clothing.

“Ah, sorry,” he apologized, bowing slightly but they didn’t seem the heed him absorbed in their conversation.

Ricky sighed. It would always be the case even in a station. An idol group member was nobody unless with their members. He just brushed it off and continued until he reached the bathroom. But upon opening the door he came with the surprise of his life!

“Hyung!” Ricky gasped.

And indeed it was Niel! Ricky didn’t have to look twice to know! His tall hyung was being pressed against the wall with an arm to his neck by someone Ricky clearly recognized as one of the staff members. The staff’s hand was threaded tight in Niel’s hair and tongue was running against the side of his face.

Upon hearing his name Niel looked and seeing Ricky his arms, which were pressed against man’s chest began to push harder and the man let go and sent a scathing look in Ricky’s direction.

“Runt, get out of here, unless you want to join,” the staff ordered.

“Let go of him!” Ricky said.

“Please see your way back to the dressing room,” the staff ordered.

Of course Ricky didn’t listen! It would be impossible to when it was so obvious Niel was in distress and trying to push the man away but he was trapped painfully against the sink. Ricky growled and ran forward, tackling the man to the ground with all of his body weight.

“I said let go!” Ricky screamed.

He turned back to Niel to see him collapsing against the sink.

“Why you little—“ the staff said, trying to pick himself up off the ground but Ricky found a crazy amount of courage in him and punched him directly in the nose. There was a distinct cracking sound and before Ricky could see what damage he’d done he grabbed Niel’s arms, pulling Niel out of the bathroom.

“Changhyun! Changhyun!” Niel was basically hyperventilating.

Ricky stopped and turned to look at his hyung and what he saw was completely breaking his heart.

It was obvious Niel was close to having a panic attack. His entire body was shaking and Ricky didn’t want to stop there. He wanted to get as much space between them and that staff member as possible.

“We have to get you somewhere safe. We can’t stop here,” Ricky said.

But Niel just shook his head and his mouth opened to form words but none came out.

“Hyung, it’s ok,” Ricky said, pulling Niel close by the arms. “That man… that man can’t hurt you. I’m here.”

Niel nodded wordlessly, his face scrunching up and beginning to cry.

“P,please… don’t take me back there,” he said between sobs. “Please I can’t face them.”

Ricky nodded and patted Niel’s head and decided to lead him to another bathroom. Once there Ricky helped Niel wash his face.

“Y,you shouldn’t have punched him,” Niel said finally, after a time.

Niel was leaning over the sink, avoiding contact with both Ricky and the mirror. Ricky was seated on the counter beside him.

“Why shouldn’t I have? He was assaulting you,” Ricky said.

“You don’t understand… that man… these men they have power to do things if you cross them,” Niel said. “It’s… I don’t want to be the blame if something happens to the band.”

“And what if something happens to you, huh?” Ricky asked. “Then what?”

Niel said nothing and Ricky sighed.

Silence passed between them. Niel left alone with his thoughts and Ricky trying his best not to run away with them, trying hard not to let the creepy feeling that this wasn’t the first time it had ever happen consume him. He tried to erase the image of the bathroom scene from his mind the possibility of more like it. His blood boiled not only at the thought of the men abusing Niel like that but at the fact that he never knew!

But Ricky knew that it was the last thing Niel needed at that moment for him to scold or berate him. But how could he not? He wanted to scream.

“You’re angry aren’t you?”

“Hyung….”

“I know. You’re thinking how could you sell yourself like that? It’s could just as easily you as it was me. They liked you too you know… but I have these lips and I had long hair. That bastard. You know what he said to me today? He said to tell manager to stop cutting my hair. That my hair is too short and that they liked me just the way I was.”

Niel looked up finally, only to see Ricky had started crying.

“Why are you crying?”

“Why shouldn’t I cry, hyung? You’re suffering. Don’t you know we love you?”

Niel just sniffed, wiping his eyes with a tissue and shaking his head.

“Please, just don’t tell Minsoo hyung. He swore he’d protect me.”

Against Ricky’s better judgment he nodded yes.

It was surprising how forthcoming with information Niel had suddenly become. Ricky supposed that because he witnessed it with his own eye Niel no longer felt the need to hide it.

It started at debut. The music show PD had expressed interest in Niel and soon enough Niel found he was being passed among the staff. The threatened him and said that if he refused they’d be blacklisted. Niel felt he didn’t have a choice. Ricky couldn’t blame him for it. He had been a child actor himself. There were times when people had asked his mom to let him be rented out to certain executives for a part but the answer had always been a firm no. Under TOP media Ricky was relieved to be free of that. He now knew that instead of him it was another member suffering.

“Do the hyungs know?” Ricky asked.

“Who? Like the staff? Manager hyung, some of the staff, they all knew. Who do you think sets up the dates? But this guy today he got cocky and just attacked me when I was in the bathroom. Normally it doesn’t work like that but… he just-- I don’t know.”

“Hyung, you can’t let him do that to you.” Ricky pleaded.

“I haven’t done anything like this in over a year. Today that man he just saw me and went crazy. But I really haven’t. Believe me. These guys have power. Remember how we couldn’t perform on Mnet for a year? Well Minsoo found out about what was going on behind the scenes and blew up at everyone about it. The managers, the staff, every single body and we got banned. They only just let us back this year. And that’s just one station.”

“Minsoo hyung was right to do that. Who cares if we’re banned,” Ricky said.

“Changhyun…” Niel pouted. “You’re too kind. And Minsoo too. You know if he never protected me maybe we never would have gotten together in the first place… but I really love him even if it’s a really hard time. He’s been nothing but good to me. He really worries about me and how do I repay him? By being difficult. Even today… he told me before we came that since we’re in this building I shouldn’t go anywhere by myself but I really had to pee. I’m so stupid. I deserve this.”

Niel buried his face in his hands and Ricky felt his already broken heart break into even more pieces as he came forward and hugged Niel. The older tensed a bit before relaxing. And suddenly it made sense the way Niel hated skinship and the way he only liked to touch on his own terms.

“You don’t deserve that. Nobody does,” Ricky said.

Niel pulled away from Ricky.

“I know lately you’ve been a bit angry with Minsoo because you think he’s too angry with me. You don’t understand what it’s like for him,” Niel said.

Ricky frowned not sure how to reply. Niel didn’t deserve to be violated by those men but he definitely didn’t deserve to be hurt by the person he trusted the most out of everyone. Why was it so hard for him to see that? Was he so emotionally scarred by everything to not know what was acceptable or not in a relationship?

“Just don’t tell anyone, ok. Not anything. Don’t tell the others what you saw, please?”

Ricky nodded yes again despite his mind protesting against it.

“We need to go back,” Niel put on a smile that failed to reach his eyes. “I bet they’re worried about where we’ve been.”

Ricky nodded numbly and Niel stopped leaning against the counter, but just as he was about to open the door it slammed open revealing a very distressed looking CAP.

“Minsoo!” Niel gasped before getting the wind knocked out of him by CAP’s bone crushing hug.

“Daniel… Daniel,” CAP’s voice was muffled into Niel’s neck as he held on to dear life, as if Niel could just slip away. “I should have never looked away. I should have never—“

“Hyung…” Niel said before starting to cry again, sobbing hard. His arms wrapped around his boyfriend’s back, fingers clutching onto his shirt as if trying to disappear into the other. “Hyung, no. I should have listened.”

“Shhh…. Shh,” CAP soothed.

Ricky stood awkwardly by the door watching the pair when L.Joe entered the bathroom as well.

“Changhyun, our broadcast,” he said. “They cancelled it.”

-to be continued-

AN: hello. are you still reading? I HOPE YOU'RE NOT MAD! ;~; i had this past for Niel planned since the start of the story and I feel really bad about giving it to Niel. *cries* *hugs the niel* please don't hate me. it was a tough call for me to include this in the story but I wanted to give niel and cap's relationship many sides and facets and not just write a flat alleged abuse story. what do you think?

thanks for reading, subscribing and all the comments! <3 I am glad people actually read this story because I had no idea people would when I first starting writing it! thanks so much!