Chapter 29

Niel felt uneasy. He didn’t want people’s pity. It was rare that his was met with mocking eyes like Dongwook’s for the choices he had made, and he hated that too. But he especially hated the pity. The receptionist at MNET looked at him that way when he entered with Dongwook, pity with an added underlying bit of disgust. The manager stopped to check in and make sure of where they would need to go before directing Niel down the hall. He could feel her eyes on his back longer than what was necessary.

She knew. Probably a lot of people knew, and they usually faced the news the same way. Ricky had been no different and he wished that they would see him as the human too. He wasn’t a poor creature. He wasn’t fragile, or at least he hadn’t started out that way. It was a case of manipulator turned manipulated.

C.A.P had been different from them though. He was neither disgusted or pitied him. But Niel knew that C.A.P wasn’t aware of the entire truth. If he had, Niel doubted the other would have anything but contempt for him. He wasn’t the victim as many had thought. Niel wasn’t the victim of the affair but rather the initiator, at least with Dongwook.

Niel had been young, younger than what he still is, and flirty. It was a pre-debut and there was a brand new staff in the building that all six future members of Teen Top had been called in to be introduced to. It was Dongwook, he was to be their manager, and they were explicitly told not to torture him. Niel held back his smirk as he promised to do as told already plotting on the head of their bright new manager. He was young, maybe 26 or so, with an innocent round face that reminded Niel of SHINee’s Onew.

Teasing him started off innocent enough for a 14 year old boy. But the pressing and teasing didn’t take long before Niel noticed that there was a reason for the odd way Dongwook was reacting. Niel tested and pushed, letting his hand linger a little longer on Dongwook’s arm as he laughed or leaning his chin onto Dongwook’s shoulder as he did paperwork.

It excited Niel precisely because he wasn’t clueless. He already had a raging crush on his leader C.A.P and he resigned himself to thnking nothing would come out of it. Instead, he focused on Dongwook who he figured was safe and there was a lot he was curious about. Dongwook was an adult. He couldn’t do anything Niel didn’t want him to anyway. He was in perfect control and it was Niel who initiated the very first explicitly ual contact: a nervous first in an empty practice room. Dongwook was scared of being caught but unable to move as Niel clumsily took him.

However, from there it progressed and snowballed to a point where the control Niel thought he had was no longer his. Dongwook brought Minwoo so he could watch them, film them, together and Niel was stupid enough to agree. He was hormonal and liked everything because it felt good, he wasn’t going to complain.

Dongwook had promised them things. He said that Minwoo would be able to debut faster and he told Niel that Teen Top would be successful. Dongwook had worked for a bit in MNET before being hired by TOP Media. He said he knew people and how the industry worked.

If there was one thing in it all that Niel regretted it was that. He didn’t fall into that trap, he walked right into it. It couldn’t even be rightly called a trap when he had asked for it himself. And C.A.P was none the wiser about it. All along Niel had feelings for C.A.P but never thought the other could possibly feel the same. If he had known would he had ever done it in the first place.

Niel didn’t want to let himself go down that path. That thought process couldn’t finish itself for fear he’d confirm the fact that his own choices are exactly the ones that will make C.A.P leave him. Niel feared it was only a matter of time until C.A.P figured it out on his own anyway. Time was ticking for him and Niel just wanted to hang on to the dream for as long as possible.

---

If it had been just a week or two prior Ricky would have been beyond ecstatic to be the center of four hot female’s attention. But as it were now, he was a taken man, by another dude at that, and he knew it would be very wrong to take pleasure in the current situation he was in.

He was sitting in a conference room with the members of SECRET going over the script for the day’s recording. They would be making a pasta carbonara and side salad together while also introducing recent and new music videos and answering questions from the host. Somehow though the topic deviated as attention turned to Ricky himself.

“I can’t believe we get to host with such a cute kid!” Hyosung, the leader cooed.

“I’m not that much younger!” Ricky protested, even though he was actually a good 4 years younger than SECRET’s maknae.

Jung Hana laughed and shook her head, “Hyosung don’t you know it’s mean to call a boy a kid.”

“Oh!” Hyosung laughed. “Sorry. He’s just so cute I can’t help it.”

Ricky only pouted in response which had the girls giggling more but he knew not to take it to heart. Despite wanting to be seen as a man he was used to the reaction he got from people around him, especially female idols. And in either case he had to admit it was nice to get attention no matter what.

“So our manager said there were two of your members coming but only you’re here,” maknae Sunhwa pointed out.

Ricky sat up alert and nodded cutely, “Yeah you’re right. He’s supposed to be here at any time now.”

“Which one is it?” Sunhwa asked.

“I heard it’s Niel,” supplied Hana.

“Really? Wah, bummer,” Sunhwa lamented, leaning her head on her hand on the table.

“Bummer?” Ricky said surprised. “Was there someone you wanted to see?”

“No, but someone we know liked your L.Joe so I wanted to see him.”

“Ah, figures,” Ricky replied.

L.Joe was such a flirt with girl idols he wasn’t even surprised. But there was a lot of things they didn’t know about L.Joe so Ricky had to excuse them for that. If they knew probably L.Joe and Chunji wouldn’t be so popular really. At any rate Ricky wanted Niel to be there to even the odds just a little instead of 4 against 1.

The girls were chatting among each other, teasing Sunhwa about something or another and Ricky turned his attention back to his script going over the things he would have to talk about. There was going to be a bit about dating and ideal types among the girls in SECRET. Programs were so predictable with the topics sometimes.

Pushing the paper away again, Ricky sat back in his seat and pretended to listen to the girl’s conversation, letting his thoughts drift away. There was a lot going on within the band lately and he truly didn’t know whether to welcome the work they had today as a distraction or curse it for making them deny the confrontations that were inevitable.

Ricky especially thought back to the favor L.Joe had asked of him the night before. He wanted Ricky to double check on Niel and see if he was indeed feeling ok even after the very vocal fight they had the other day in Malaysia. Ricky was worried about it as well. The dorm’s eldest couple were the type to flip flop between good and bad terms but it didn’t really seem like anything was ever solved between the interim.

For the visual maknae that raised two big points. One: what was it that made them fight like that? And two: why weren’t they trying to remedy it if they cared so much for each other?
 

He tried to think of the things that Niel told him when he was confused about his own budding relationship with Changjo.

“You should be honest from the very beginning… the more things are out in the open from the beginning the less misunderstandings and the less complicated things will be in the long run.”

Was there something that Niel hadn’t been honest about or something he was afraid of letting into the open?

“Ricky ya!” Hana’s voice cut through Ricky’s thought and he looked up from the table.

“Huh?”

“Wah, you looked so lost in thought! We thought we lost ya!” Hyosung laughed.

“Ah, sorry. I was just thinking of the script,” Ricky lied.

“Oh yeah!” Hana exclaimed. “There is a point where we talk about types in each other band.”

“Not fair. The only available ones aren’t even here,” Sunhwa sighed.

Jieun shook her head and gave Ricky an apologetic look, “I’ll pick you Ricky.”

“Which one of us do you like?” Sunhwa pried.

“Yah Ricky! If you pick me I’ll buy you an ice cream,” Hyosung bribed.

“Ice cream? He’s not 12,” chastised Hana. “What about Noona buy you meat?”

“Yah! With what money will you buy him meat?” Hyosung countered.

Ricky just laughed shaking his head at their silly antics, “Sorry Noona but my love can’t be bought.” After all, he was taken anyway by someone none of the girls present could even hold a candle to.

-to be continued-

AN - ugh it's 3am. this is a trend. anyway are people tired of this story yet.i know it seems impossible but an end IS in sight lol. i mean i can see it... but probably you all can't. anyway sorry for crappy chapper. this is what happens when i know what i want to write but it won't come out nicely. nielrick chat will have to be next because it's late so i ended the chapter with weird SECRET

thanks for reading and commenting~!


((ps. does anyone know any good teen top fics to recommend so i can procrastinate  lol))