Chapter 23

Checking C.A.P’s phone had always been a compulsion for Niel. He couldn’t stop even if he knew how much it was a breech on his boyfriend’s privacy. Whether or not he trusted C.A.P or not was beside the point, Niel just had to know.

It got better as their relationship went along. He snooped less and less, the last time being that day in McDonald’s a few weeks back and if anything, current events should have made Niel more secure of his relationship. After all, he and C.A.P, who argued often, hadn’t argued at all in days. Not since the day he had riled C.A.P up by accepting to guest on the show with Ricky.

So why? Why was he like this? Niel couldn’t answer it himself.

It was morning and C.A.P had disappeared into their bathroom and the cellphone was resting right there on the night stand. Niel’s fingers itched to take it, the weight of the information within. Niel wasn’t going to lie and say he was well adjusted. He was willing to admit to himself that he wasn’t, which was why now, when they were fighting the least, Niel felt the most insecure.

Somehow the noise and drama made C.A.P more tangible and real to him. As it was now Niel felt like C.A.P could just disappear at any moment. He needed the constant validation and lately he hadn’t received much of any.

Niel stretched his limbs cat-like against the bed, eyes trained on the phone, as if plotting it to spill its secrets out before him. Quickly he pilfered it, flipping onto his back and swiping his finger over the display and unlocking it.

Immediately, Niel starting going through the messages. As expected there wasn’t much in his inbox. C.A.P wasn’t necessarily really social. Openng his Kakao it was much the same. There were no unread chats and they were all the same few people. Including himself there were conversations with a member of Block B, Chunji, manager hyung, and the Electroboyz hyungs.

He clicked the conversation with Chunji.

Chunji: “We want chicken.”

C.A.P: “Ok.”

Niel rolled his eyes at that useless conversation and scrolled through the others. Much of them were the same.

Chakun: “We ordered chicken. Want to come?”

C.A.P’s reply was merely a sticker of the LINE rabbit sleeping.

Niel chuckled at that and was about to give up finding anything of note when he opened the chat with Park Kyung and noticed that there was more inside than just the usual one lines and jokes. He slowly reviewed the messages.

Kyung: Thnks for coming out even though I know you just wanted to sleep.

C.A.P : sleep good…
Kyung: You know you needed the break…
C.A.P : … yeah
Kyung: really though if he’s bothering you so much it’s no point forcing it. Break ups happen.
C.A.P : he’s not bothering me I’m just tired

Kyung: yeah, tired, bothered. Whatever
Kyung: you’re tired of what? Him right and his bull. He’s cheating on you and always fighting with you.

Kyung: don’t know why you keep bothering with that gay

Kyung: come out with us, get some girls, you’ll forget all about him.

Kyung: you’re not answering because I’m right.

C.A.P: shut up

Niel’s hands shook as he finished reading what was on the display and he wanted nothing more than to sink into the bed and disappear. His body was heavy. The conversation had only taken place two days ago.

The bathroom door opened and Niel hurriedly placed the phone back on the night stand just as C.A.P came in.

---

Ricky didn’t want to leave Niel alone. It was obvious that he was troubled even though he was smiling and laughing with the others. Niel seemed to be making too much of an effort not to let on that something was on but there was something off. Still, Ricky knew not to press it. Niel wasn’t forthcoming with information even when pressured. He knew that now.

They were finally finished all of their preparations for the concert and were sitting down in the back stage waiting area eating some food when manager came over with a message.

“We just got a message from the company. They want you to do a Teen Top on Air video for the fans,” he said.

“Huh?” Ricky looked up from his food in confusion.

“Like what?” L.Joe asked.

“I don’t know. Play a game or just talk,” manager said.

He looked at the table and saw a bowl of a corn snack in the middle.

“How about that?” he asked.

“What about it?” Chunji asked, looking at the bowl.

“Make a game with that,” manager said. “I have to check on some things. Think of some ideas and I’ll be back with the camera in a few minutes.”

As he walked away Ricky turned his attention to the others. Ricky was always excited about filming Teen Top on air and looked around at the others taking in their various states of enthusiasm. L.Joe and C.A.P were seated on either side of Chunji more interested in their food than the assignment.

“So we have to make a game,” Chunji said, talking first.

“I know!” Ricky’s hand shot up when it seemed no one else would speak. “We should hold a competition and see who can shoot the most amount of the corn into their partner’s mouth.”

“Sounds simple enough,” C.A.P muttered, obviously content to do whatever and get it all over with.

“So ok who are the pairs?” L.Joe asked.

Not so subtly Ricky looked over at Changjo and the other nodded. Ricky nodded back, a slight smile playing on his face.

“And the punishment there has to be a punishment,” C.A.P muttered, setting down his plate.

“Loser gets corn thrown at his head,” Chunji said. “Punishment set. And we already know you and Daniel are going to choose each other and the maknaes have been making googley eyes at each other so I have Byunghun.”

Ricky blushed at the mention of him making eyes at Changjo but before he could protest Niel did instead.

“I choose Byunghun hyung as my team mate!” Niel announced.

“You sure?” C.A.P asked. “You might lose on that team. You should stay with me.”

Niel just shook his head with a strained smile, “No it’s fine. I don’t want to be a bother… or make you tired.”

The way he emphasized the words “tired” and “bother” didn’t go unnoticed by the other members who found it strange but said nothing.

“Ok so Byunghun and Niel and—“

“What do you mean by that?” C.A.P interrupted Chunji’s instructions.

“I’m just saying it’s ok to tell me if I’m being a bother,” Niel retorted.

“Why would you think it’s a bother?” C.A.P pressed.

“It’s not a big deal if he’s on a team with me. The fans won’t think it’s weird either so let’s just start,” L.Joe quickly stated, standing up and moving to where Niel was seated.

C.A.P merely rolled his eyes, noisily scooting his chair closer to Chunji.

“A bother,” he scoffed under his breath yet still loud enough to be heard. “You’re not worth enough to even be considered a bother.”

The mood in the room turned dark with the others unsure whether to pretend they didn’t hear it for the sake of the video. Ricky had to bite his lip to keep from getting angry. The last thing he wanted to do was to make it worst. He had to keep quiet for Niel’s sake at the very least. He glanced over and it pained him to see Niel’s head hung low but happy to know that L.Joe was trying to boost him up. The group’s playful rapper had slung his arm around Niel’s shoulders, pulling him close.

“We’ll beat them all, right?” he said.

When Niel didn’t answer L.Joe poked his cheek and whispered in his ear something inaudible to the rest but C.A.P seemed to not like it because he kicked the table so that it moved and hit L.Joe’s knee.

“Where’s hyung and the damn camera?” C.A.P said standing.

L.Joe glared up at their leader before looking to Chunji who just shrugged. It was now obvious that Niel and C.A.P must have been in the middle of one of their normal argument, but with the assignment and a concert they once again had the absolute worst timing.

-to be continued-

AN - ugh i dunno why i write at 3am when i know I CAN'T WRITE AT 3am! I at it lol! ugh i won't write more right now because i'll just complain and as you to pity me. anyway the cute changrick story arc is over. it got wayyy bigger than i originally intended haha back to regularly scheduled program and thanks for supporting it!!