Chapter 18

“I want food.”

“Well you’re in luck because I’m food.”

“Hyung, you’re not here so it doesn’t matter. I can’t eat you… yet.”

“Well hurry home and eat me.”

Niel chuckled when he saw C.A.P’s newest answer to his latest kakao message and hurriedly typed his reply.

“I would if a certain someone would hurry and get his license and pick me up!”

He had just pressed send when a loud bang startled him and he sat up quickly to see his vocal couch looking at him with a displeased expression on his face.

“I liked it better when you kids weren’t allowed to carry your phones on you,” the vocal couch sighed.

“Sorry, Teacher,” Niel apologized sheepishly.

“It’s ok. This lesson is over anyway so I guess you can go now. I have my next student in a few minutes.”

Niel nodded and gathered his bag and exited the room just as his phone buzzed with another message from C.A.P. It was just a crying sticker icon and Niel shook his head at how cute his boyfriend could be sometimes. He sent a sticker back of him sticking his tongue out. Then he pocketed his phone.

As he turned to go down the hall he saw Rokhyun coming up for his vocal lesson.

“Hey Daniel!” Rokhyun beamed with a wave.

Niel waved back as he passed. Once Niel got on the elevator he went down to the front lobby and saw that it was raining again.

“Ugh again,” he muttered.

He didn’t bring an umbrella and the bus stop was quite a walk from the TOP media building. He sighed and sat in the lobby and took out his phone.

“It’s raining and I didn’t bring my umbrella. Why don’t you drive you freaking idiot?” he sent to C.A.P.

“You’re the one who has the license. Shouldn’t you be asking yourself why you don’t have a car?” C.A.P replied right away.

Niel chuckled a bit. Ok, so his boyfriend had a point there. He didn’t bother replying and just put his phone to his side and pulled out the music that his teacher had given him to practice on his own.

As he was flipping through he looked up when he heard the front doors to the lobby open and he saw Sanghoon, Minwoo and his old manager Dongwook enter. A strange feeling bubbled within him as he noted the way Dongwook had his arm slung comfortably over Sanghoon’s shoulders. Minwoo was walking a bit behind them and they stopped in front of the elevator, Sanghoon pushing up.

“Hey Daniel,” Sanghoon said, seeing Daniel seated on the bench.

“Hey,” Niel greeted back.

He tried to sound happy as the other did but his eyes couldn’t help but follow the way Dongwook’s hand slide down and rested on the small of Sanghoon’s back or the way Sanghoon leaned into the other’s side. His brow furrowed and he unconsciously leaned forward in his seat as his stomach flipped within him.

The elevator doors opened and Dongwook and Sanghoon disappeared inside as Minwoo said something Niel couldn’t hear to the pair and then jogged over to Niel as the doors closed again.

“What’s up? Why are you still here? Isn’t Rocky having his lesson now?” Minwoo asked.

Niel was a bit hunched over in his seat, his arms wrapped around his belly. He tried as much as he could to suppress the strange feelings swirling within him, feelings he knew not how to name or describe. He just knew he didn’t feel so well and that the image of Sanghoon and Dongwook was trapped in his thoughts.

The other day when he saw Sanghoon hanging around inside his old manager’s room Niel felt alarmed. And then now seeing the two so close Niel really felt like he was going to be sick.

“Daniel?” Minwoo asked, crouching down in front of Niel. “Are you ok? You don’t look so good.”

I’m… I’m fine,” Niel managed to say.

Minwoo touched his hand to Niel’s head.

“You don’t feel sick,” Minwoo noted.

“I’m fine. I… I just want to go home,” Niel groaned.

He sat back in his seat and Minwoo stood back up, a frown on his face.

Niel couldn’t bring himself to look up at Minwoo. Minwoo was a good hyung, depending on what you considered to be good. He knew that Minwoo was never malicious towards him but it didn’t mean that they had a normal dongsaeng-hyung relationship. It wasn’t easy to act too detached with someone you had already ed.

“Why are you still here? Your lesson must have ended almost 20 minutes ago.”

“It’s raining,” Niel said. “And I don’t have a car. I was hoping it’d let up a bit before I went to the bus stop.”

Niel could hear Minwoo smile and before he knew it he was being pulled up by the eldest hyung of them all.

“Come on,” Minwoo said. “I’ll take you.”

Niel looked up surprised at the words, finally meeting Minwoo’s eyes.

“What?” Minwoo asked. “I wouldn’t want Minsoo to worry about you.”

Niel rolled his eyes and shook his head, “He isn’t worried. If anything he’d make fun of me if I came in like a wet dog.”

“Well it’s ok. I’ll take care of you. I’m actually free right now. I’ll come back later and pick Rokhyun up afterward.”

Niel nodded and they went out to the car park where they got into the car Minwoo was using. Niel got into the front seat and both said nothing as Minwoo the engine and began to back out of the lot. Niel was grateful for the ride and to be out of the building and on his way home.

They had to the streets when Minwoo started to talk.

“I saw the way you were looking at them.”

Niel didn’t answer though the way his head perked up was indication enough to Minwoo that he knew what he was talking about.

“They’re really together, you know. As in… they’re dating.”

Niel’s fist clenched involuntarily as his head whipped violently to look at Minwoo.

“What the hell?”

“Dongwook manager hyung and Sanghoon are dating… really.”

“You have got to be ting me,” Niel said.

“I’m not,” Minwoo replied, eyes trained to the road before him.

“I think I’m really going to be sick,” Niel groaned, leaning to his side.

“Not in my car!” Minwoo scolded.

“Hyung how can you ing joke about this. Please just… pull over. I’ll walk. I’m going to jump off the next bridge.”

“I’m not going to pull over with you talking like that and you know it.”

“I can’t believe this.”

“Believe it.”

“I knew it… I ing knew it. I knew something was up between them!”

“Why do you say that?” Minwoo asked.

“I don’t know. I saw Sanghoon the other day when I went to see Dongwook in his office—“

“You went to his office?”

Niel could hear the tone of worry in Minwoo’s voice and scoffed.

“Don’t act like you’re so worried about me when you’re letting your own maknae date him after all the you know he’s put me through.”

“I’m not letting him do anything. He’s doing it on his own. He’s an adult.”

Niel sighed loudly and Minwoo pulled over into a random parking lot and stopped the car. Niel moved to open the door but Minwoo reach over and blocked the door handle.

“Hyung let me out,” Niel said.

“No.”

Niel squeaked in surprised as Minwoo reached down and let Niel’s seat fall backwards. Niel looked up at Minwoo wide eyed as the older pulled back.

“Really, a parking lot, hyung?” Niel scoffed.

“We’re not going to . I’m just trying to get you to not run,” Minwoo shot back.

“I’m not going to run,” Niel said, stretching his arms up over his head in the seat, and biting his lip. “See. You have me right where you want me.”

Minwoo looked like he was having an inner war and Niel couldn’t help but laugh at the conflicted feelings making their way across the other’s face.

“But seriously hyung,” Niel said. “Sanghoon—“

“I have my hands tied. You know as much as I do what my position is here. I can’t do anything. If I do anything everything I’ve worked for is over. If he goes down I go down and if I go down so do you. 100%, Teen Top, it’s all gone. You know that. You’re the last person I have to tell that so why are you even asking me!?”

Niel could hear the raw emotion dripping from Minwoo’s voice as the other turned away and hunched over the steering wheel.

“Hyung…” Niel sat up, unclicking his seat belt and touched Minwoo’s shoulder.

The other stiffened.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t want to be the weak one here. I’m the oldest and I ed up everything,” Minwoo’s shoulders shook as he spoke.

“Hyung you didn’t mess up anything. Like you said Sanghoon’s an adult—“

“You were just a ing kid, Niel!” Minwoo snapped, turning his head towards Niel.

The younger could see the tears falling from Minwoo’s large eyes and he didn’t know what to say. What could he say? Minwoo was right, Niel had been a kid, if anything Minwoo should have known better, but it didn’t change anything. Things were still as they were.

“Sanghoon really likes him. I don’t know if he likes Sanghoon or not. I don’t know if he’s serious or not. I don’t ing know. But I can’t even bring myself to tell Sanghoon the truth. What kind of leader am I?”

Niel swallowed, memories swirling through his mind. Him and Minwoo. Minwoo and Dongwook. Him and Dongwook. There had been a lot of promises made and a lot of bounderies crossed but in the end didn’t him and Minwoo get exactly what Dongwook promised them?

“How did it happen?” Niel asked. “Are you sure it’s…. are you sure it’s legit?”

“I don’t know what that manager is doing when he’s not around us. He’s not ing with you is he?”

Niel shook his head slowly, trying to block out the incident that happened a few days ago.

“The way Sanghoon acts he isn’t being pressured into it. I can tell that much,” Minwoo said.

“He doesn’t deserve it,” Niel said, leaning back in the seat again, arms crossing over his chest. “That hyung doesn’t deserve to be happy.”

“Niel…” Minwoo sniffled, turning to look at the other.

“I’m not happy… why does that hyung deserve to be happy and I can barely look at Minsoo sometimes? Everything just eats me up.”

“Niel-ah…,” Minwoo said.

“I don’t deserve it. What does he see in me? I’m such a wasted piece of garbage and yet he still holds me and tells me I’m beautiful. He wants to make love to me but I feel like an imposter I—“

Niel took in a shaky breathe and turned his face towards Minwoo,

“ me… hyung please I don’t want to feel this feeling just… just me.”

“Daniel Ah please… you don’t mean it,” Minwoo shook his head and Niel reached out and pulled Minwoo down on top of him.

It was magnetic when their lips connected. Minwoo kissed back but his tears began to fall again and Niel pushed him away.

“You’re too emotional,” Niel complained.

“So are you,” Minwoo snapped back. “It’s made you aggressive.”

Niel tilted his head at that before a laugh erupted from him.

“We’re so ed up,” Niel sighed.

He pushed Minwoo away and sat up, bringing the seat back to its upright position at the same time.

“Can you just take me home? I don’t know. I guess Rocky will need to be picked up soon.”

Wordlessly Minwoo restarted the car and drove away.

____

Addictive. That’s the only way Ricky knew how to describe kissing: absolutely addictive. It was like some strange force over took him and the only thing Ricky wanted to ever do was kiss Changjo.

He found it hard to focus during practice, his eyes kept moving towards his friend and he felt a bit satisfied to see that Changjo kept looking his way as well. It let him know he wasn’t the only one completely under the spell.

During break Ricky wanted nothing more than to escape somewhere with Changjo for a few more kisses but he knew it wasn’t any chance. There was no way Ricky would initiate anything like that ever and Changjo probably figured it was a one-time thing.

Oh how wrong Ricky was.

It was only a few days later and there he was again kissing Changjo, this time on their living room floor, their video game controllers discarded and forgotten at their side. They were sitting in front of each other, leaning into the kiss. It wasn’t as innocent as the one before, which used only lips, but the pair still had the tentative uneasy air of inexperience lingering over them.

Ricky had become more aggressive, pressing himself against Changjo. Changjo was yielding and when Ricky pressed his shoulder’s Changjo fell back without a word and let Ricky climb over him, even opening his legs a little so the other could situate himself comfortably between them.

It was crazy and Ricky tried not to think about it, that this was Changjo he was kissing. But really, as his hands swept over the broad shoulders and chest of the slightly younger male, or ventured up against his defined jaw bone into his short cut hair, Ricky knew there was no way it could be anyone else but Changjo.

It was like instinct for Ricky as his mouth moved from Changjo’s lips to his jaw, his tongue darting out to , taste and then nip at the skin right under Changjo’s ear.

“Changhyun…”

The way Changjo said his name sent shockwaves through Ricky and he only wanted more. But he wasn’t going to get it as it was then that they heard a noise and in a flash the two separated, Ricky reaching for one of the discarded game controllers, and Changjo sitting up and grabbing the other one.

Both sat up pin straight, as if rods were in their back as Niel walked into the dorm.

“I’m home!” he called.

“Hey hyung!” Ricky greeted, smiling brightly, though his heart was in his throat beating fast at the thought of almost being caught. “Welcome home.”

Niel just looked at Ricky weirdly for the over enthusiastic welcome.

“Uh, Hey to you too,” Niel said as he kicked off his shoes and ran off to his room.

Ricky sighed and his shoulders sagged as the other ran off.

“That was close,” Ricky said, turning to Changjo who was looking back at him. “Next time we shouldn’t do it in the living room.”

Changjo raised a brow, “Next time?”

Ricky blushed heavily at that, realizing what he insinuated.

“I mean… that is… if you want there to be a next time.”

Changjo just chuckled, “Why should there be?”

“Because… you like it and I like it and… I like you too?”

Changjo rolled his eyes and crawled to the game system and turned it off. They weren’t really playing it anyway.

“Hey don’t just ignore me,” Ricky pouted. “I’m being serious!”

“How do I know that?” Changjo asked, turning again to look at Ricky. “You could just be saying that so you could kiss me.”

“What?” Ricky gasped.

“I’m onto you, Changhyun! You’re a ert. I see it now.”

“Am not!” Ricky pouted cutely, raising his balled fists up. “I’m not any more erted than any other normal guy.”

Changjo just put his controller down and stood up and walked away.

“H,hey! Wait!” Ricky stood up too and followed. “You can’t just leave!”

“And why not?” Changjo asked, turning and looking down at the other. “Isn’t that what you did to me when I told you how I felt?”

Ricky’s mouth opened but no words came out.

“Look if you really like me then prove it.”

“Huh?” Ricky said.

“Yep. You had your sample! Now you gotta work for it!” Changjo said, and then ran off to his room leaving behind a stunned Ricky.

“W,WHAT!?” Ricky was so shocked.

What an evil maknae! Ricky felt tricked! What did he do to deserve this fate? How was he supposed to know if he really liked someone? All he knew was that he felt happy when he was around Changjo, just like he did with all his friends, but even more so because Changjo was one of his best friends along with Niel. What more did Changjo want? Was there anything else Ricky had left to give?

Ricky sighed and sat back down on the living room floor and kicked the controller he had used away.

How was he supposed to prove to Changjo that he liked him when he still wasn’t even sure himself. This called for a second opinion.

-to be continued…-

AN: uhm the changrick scene at first was more angsty but i decided  wanted changrick angst to disappear cos Niel by himself is enough angst for one fic >_> so yeah back to fluffy changrick! Ricky is the ray of sunshine of this fic! hahaha i hope you enjoy