Sunggyu helped me removed my jacket when he felt my hands shaking more. He gave me a reassuring look then took off his own jacket before taking my hand in his again. It was strange… why was he even taking my hand again? Was I playing his girlfriend for the evening?

My heart was breaking seeing Woohyun in front of me.

We all sat on the table. Silence was filling the room.

-So I obviously need an explanation. Sunggyu was so curious I could sense it.

-We kind of know Hyun Jae. Hoya was the first to speak.

-I could have guessed it by myself after seeing the well-known Nam Woohyun.

I pinched his hands but he smiled back at me and let go of my hand.

-So Hoya, Dongwoo how did you meet Hyun Jae? Directly asked Sunggyu turning to the couple.

-It was years ago at University. We met Hyun Jae thanks to Woohyun here… that you seem to know already. Answered Dongwoo

-How do you know me? You didn’t seem to know me the last time I saw you in the office.

-In the office? Why Sunggyu would come to your office?

-To see Hyun Jae. Sunggyu answered Dongwoo.

-Hyun Jae and you are working together Woohyun? Since when? Why didn’t you say it before?

-I think we could talk about this later Hoya. Now I just want him to answer… Sunggyu? was that your name?

-Hyun Jae talked about you.

-Why would she? You are that close? Who are you?

Woohyun was being rude and it was so weird to see him like that.

I couldn’t open my mouth I was crushed in this situation. The one I wanted to avoid the most was in front of me glaring harshly to my supposed to be boyfriend.

-Why do you want to know? I think you have no right to ask this anymore.

I could see Woohyun clenched his fist when Sunggyu, to make him angrier than he is now, hold my hand again and put it on the table for all the eyes to see.

-Just answer my question. He said with a harsh tone.

Woohyun POV

All those emotions were making me crazy. Hyun Jae was here. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I truly wanted to be happy to see her in front of me for a night; I really did want that… But the pain in my heart was too huge. This guy was holding her hand…. The hand I should hold instead of him. I was more than mad.

And why did she even talk about me to her b-boyfriend? Are they even together?

-Woohyun! Dongwoo was pleading with his eyes to not ruin the night.

-Are you two…dating?

-Do not even dare…

It was Hyun Jae. She was now looking at me with her beautiful eyes. But her words were like poison to me. She was angry at me. Are you trying to protect your lover? You really did forget me, didn’t you?

-We should begin to eat! We are already late because of someone. Woohyun can you help me? In the kitchen right now!

Dongwoo took my hand and dragged me to his kitchen.

When I entered the kitchen I hold myself on the counter. I was barely able to contain myself and my eyes were burning.

-Dongwoo it hurts…..

I couldn’t do much but putting my hand in my chest, over my heart… why is it hurting so much?

Hyun Jae’s POV

The moment Woohyun left the room with Dongwoo I let go of Sunggyu’s hand.

My hands went directly to my heart and throat.

I was barely able to breath. His anger was affecting me too much. It was breaking me to see him like that because of me.

Sunggyu hold my shoulder and asked me if I was fine and I nodded.

-Are you really alright Hyun Jae? Hoya whispered obviously worried.

-I am. You can let go of me Sunggyu, thanks.

-Wow… your girlfriend is really Hyun Jae? Why do I learn it just now? I could have avoided this if I knew earlier.

-I am the secret type you know right, Hoya? I don’t easily talk about my life, you should already know.

-Sorry for Woohyun! But you don’t have to be jealous… I mean it’s not like Hyun Jae has… I mean… some left feelings… right?

My reaction wasn’t showing that my heart was empty of a Nam Woohyun.

-Sorry. I said to Hoya. I shouldn’t be like that but you know him… I am just not use to see this kind of reaction.

-I wanted to meet him for such a long time actually. Someone heard my words. I’m glad to be here tonight!

Sunggyu exclaimed more than happy. If I wasn’t in this state I could have seriously punch him.

-Sunggyu, I think I should go. I will just call Myungsoo or Sungyeol, they will take me back.

Sunggyu’s smile dropped.

-Do you know how hard it was to even bring you here?

We could hear Dongwoo coming back to the living room.

-Hoya can you give us a moment with Hyun Jae please?

Dongwoo came back to the table with some plates full of tasting food.

-I didn’t know what to do but I think I did too much things.

-Do you need help? Asked Hoya to his boyfriend but this latter gently reminded him that Woohyun was already ‘helping’ him.

-No really I want to help! Let’s go, show me what to do! Insist Hoya taking Dongwoo by the arm and guiding the surprised man to the kitchen, without forgetting to wink at us to answer to Sunggyu’s early favor.

Once they both left Sunggyu turned to me.

-Hyun Jae you will not leave! Step 3 failed but I’m glad tonight we can speed up a bit and go straight to Step 10! This is a great opportunity to ask all the questions you want.

-What is even the 10^th step? I asked rubbing my forehead. I was having a headache.

-Facing Nam Woohyun and your fears.

-I can’t.

-So you want to go and hide yourself from your fear? You want to hide behind Myungsoo and Sungyeol again?  Listen, I don’t see another solution! I am here by your side so you don’t need to be afraid of anything. Trust me.

He holds my shoulders and made me look at him.

-I won’t let you call Myungsoo or Sungyeol right now. If they hear you know they will be more than worried. You have to calm down and have some strength. It is like what you did with music. You can do it Hyun Jae! You will enjoy this night with me and we will see if you can be brave enough to let him go. Don’t cry; don’t do any panic attack…. I am here. The moment you will feel like breaking we will go. But trust me I won’t let you break in front of Nam Woohyun or anyone else. Do you trust me?

I had tears in my eyes but nodded anyway. What he did next make me froze. He hugged me.

It was awkward to be hugged in this sitting position but I was glad to feel supported.

-I am here. Just breathe.

My mouth opened automatically.

-Just like that.

-I need to take my drugs.

-No Hyun Jae. No today. You will face it with your strength. All you have to do is smile and look calm enough to make him believe you can live without him.

-He looks so-

-Affected. I know. Sunggyu looked straight at me, thinking of something. That’s why I told you earlier that it was strange. Just lie to your heart tonight if you can’t hold yourself. You lived apart from some time already and he looks fine.

-He looked broken…

We suddenly heard loud sound from the kitchen and steps close to us.

-I know it is hard to see him now and like that but just lie to yourself tonight if you need to….just tonight… if you can’t face all your fears yet. Tell yourself that everything is alright. Live in a lie for a night. Not for me or for anyone else but for you. It will be hard I know it but you have to bear it.

Soon after this they all went back with plates in their hands.

I did my best and smiled like nothing happened.

-Did you do all that by yourself? I asked Dongwoo.

-Of course no! Hoya helped me of course and Woohyun too. He came earlier to help.

So that’s why he left early? And I was thinking of something else… I suddenly felt so stupid.

I looked at the dishes and wondered which one was made by him. Woohyun was really good at cooking and I really missed his cooking… maybe I can enjoy it for a night…. It wouldn’t hurt, right?

Everything is alright Hyun Jae, everything.

The atmosphere slightly changed thanks to Dongwoo and Hoya during the dinner. They came up with lots of topics to discuss of. While Woohyun was nodding sometimes and smiling, Sunggyu was louder and laughing so hardly. Is he really like that usually?

During a moment of silence, I took my chance to talk finally.

-I am actually happy to be able to meet you again. I was wondering what happened to you after University. And I didn’t have any of your phone number.

-Yes that’s a shame we couldn’t keep in contact. Dongwoo answered me with a warm smile.

-You should have given us her phone number before going to the USA Woohyun! Hoya said while taking some vegetables on his plate.

-I…kind of left in a rush you know.

I looked straight at him at those words.

Why? Was it that hard to face me after so many lies?

He looked at my eyes too and we stayed like that until Sunggyu cleared his throat, waking me up from my state.

For 2 seconds I felt like I could see an apology in Woohyun’s eyes. Am I even able to read you like a book like before?

-What did you do when you were in the United States Woohyun? Wasn’t it hard to leave your work and everything here? At least you keep in touch with Dongwoo and Hoya…

I tensed at Sunggyu’s questions. What is he trying to do?

Sunggyu asked this so casually while eating.

Woohyun narrowed his eyes but answered nevertheless.

-The same work as I am doing now. I used to work for a company back in Seoul and when they merge with another company in the United States, I took the opportunity to go there.

-So why coming back now?

The question was asked again by Sunggyu but Woohyun was answering looking at me:

-I missed it…being here.

-Weren’t you too busy with others to miss it here?

Those words left my mouth before I could realize it and my eyes widened.

Everyone in the table looked taken aback by my question. I suddenly felt sorry for Dongwoo and Hoya to bring this talk here and now. They were obviously thinking of another kind of dinner with their friends instead of bringing back the past of a couple which does not exist any longer.

-Sorry I shouldn’t have asked this. It isn’t my business anymore.

I took some more chicken and potatoes on my plate to fix my attention to something else.

-Sunggyu you aren’t eating anymore? Said Dongwoo and I turned to Sunggyu who was looking intently to Woohyun instead of eating.

-I… I couldn’t forget anything from here… I didn’t mind about those ‘others’. I only had one person in my mind, all the time.

I didn’t want to look at him. I feared too much the meaning of his words and I knew that a simple look at him would tell me the true meaning behind his words. Maybe I should have?

The dinner went on like this but the awkward atmosphere disappeared slightly when Sunggyu asked question about Dongwoo and Hoya’s flat. I also asked questions about the whereabouts of the couple. Hoya was working next to Sunggyu and I was suddenly glad to have never met him in Sunggyu’s office. Dongwoo became a dance teacher and there were happily living there life in peace.

-So how did you meet? Woohyun asked but it was obvious that the question was not directed to Dongwoo and Hoya when Woohyun was looking at Sunggyu and me.

-Thanks to Sungjong. Sungjong is a friend of one of Hyun Jae’s friend. Hyun Jae had once a meeting with Sungjong and I met her here.

Wait what? He could have find thousands of lie without even mentioning my situation. And why is he mentioning my meetings with Sungjong? What is he trying to do? 

-Is Sungjong a psychologist like you? Asked Woohyun and I could feel my heart stopped because of his worried voice.

What if he finds out everything?

-Yeah. And a really close friend of Sungyeol, you met him right?

-Yes I did.

Sunggyu’s phone went off breaking the sudden silence. He looked at his phone and sighed.

-Really great timing when we are talking about him. It’s Sungjong. I will take the call. Can I use one of your rooms?

-Of course. Said Dongwoo. I will show you the way. Follow me.

I could only imagine Sungjong’s reason to call Sunggyu. What did Sungyeol say to him?       

-Well… I have to do something too. Ah yes! I have to do some tea! You will drink a cup of tea right? Of course you will! I will be back soon!

Hoya talked so quickly that I didn’t realize his words before seeing that only Woohyun and I were in the room…. Alone. Can’t someone save me now?

The room was silent for a time until Woohyun finally asked the question that was eating him alive.

-Why did you need a meeting with a psychologist?

I couldn’t say a word at that. Is it the end? Will he learn everything even though I can’t talk?

-You can be as mad as you want to me, you can hate me and you can say everything you want about it being your personal business BUT I want to remind you that your health is still my business! You can’t deny that. I take care of your health for so many years you can’t keep this from me now.

-You’re right. I said looking straight at him. Thanks to you I forgot everything about the trauma and thanks to you I was healthy.

-Was? What about now?

He suddenly stood up and took Sunggyu’s place next to me.

-Tell me please. His eyes were begging me.

You can’t tell the truth Hyun Jae! You can’t! If you do so he will be disgusted, he will hate you.

You said you will be by my side Sunggyu where are you?

A tear left my eyes…. He can’t know the truth. He can’t.

Without me realizing it, a hand was gently whipping off my check and was holding me kindly. It was too familiar. It was breaking my heart all over again, killing me.

-I saw you eating some drugs, you look so weak. What happened? I need to know. I thought you were alright, I thought you will be alright. I wouldn’t have-

-How? I pushed him off and stood up facing him. How could you even think that without you I would be alright?  If you knew you would have what? You wouldn’t have gone? You would have keep on pitying me for the rest of your life? You would have kept on lying to my face? What do you even need to know? YES I am still weak, even more than before. Yes I am still having panic attacks and making myself ill! Do you want to know why? Do you want to know what is killing me now? What is eating me alive? What is torturing me every single night?

-Hyun Jae!

Sunggyu, Hoya and Dongwoo were in the living room in an instant when they heard my outburst.

-I am talking, let me finish since I have the strength to do so now! I was half screaming and crying. I needed this. I needed to let it go.

I was looking at Woohyun’s wet and pained eyes.

-I will tell you why…. Because of you! You left us without even caring! You can’t say to me that you care for me. I am done with your lies! Just go back where you were not caring about me! I am fine and I will be fine as long as you are far from me! I have true friends next to me now who are helping me! People who truly love me and won’t go! My throat was hurting me. I needed to say it… You said you will protect me! Why did you leave me in this horrible world alone? Why did you let him-

-HYUN JAE!

That time Sunggyu shouted and all my attention was suddenly turned to him. His look was hard and serious.

Wait what happened…?

What was I about to say?

Oh my god…. What was I gonna say?

-Let’s go Hyun Jae, I think we should leave right now.

-Hyun Jae…

Woohyun’s words were a whisper.

-Yeah, take me home please… Sunggyu.

Sunggyu reached for my hand and took our coat. We apologized to Dongwoo and Hoya and left without waiting another second.

Woohyun POV

She left again…

I dropped on my knees. My chest was too tight for me to handle it. I wanted her to talk to me I needed it. But I never thought that her words would be like knifes. She stabbed me with her every words. The truth was killing me.

-Woohyun… why did you do that to her….When you said she is the most precious gift to you; you loved her so much… What happened?

Dongwoo sat next to me on the floor holding my shoulder while talking to me.

-I still love her so much. I-I will tell you now. I have to tell it. I have to say why I did the mistake that killed us both years ago.

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Hey~ I am back again!

Happy New Year 2016~ 

Hopefully this story will end this year ahahah~

I will tryo to make longer chapters like that to be quicker! 

Anyway what do you think about this chapter? I enjoy comment buy I know how hard it is! Thanks for reading~

Love you readers~ Thanks a loooot!