∞                                                                        ∞                                               ∞

I washed my face. I didn’t know how many time I stayed in there but it was sure a long time.

I was fine again- if the word fine is the proper adjective to qualify my state.

After trying to look as “fine” as possible, I went to the cafeteria and drunk some hot tea to relax my brain and body before returning to work.

I was sure embarrassed by what happened in the roof earlier but another matter was blocking my mind.

His voice and this memory. It was like a broken recorder that was playing the same thing.

No faces in mind no clear voice; only this monstrous voice was filling my head.

When I was trying to forget all, to stop this kind of memories, it came to me again and it was hurting me badly.

The feeling that I wasn’t feeling for long- uneasiness, scared, unsecured- came back to me and it wasn’t for good.

I felt so safe in those arms but then again, this monster’s memory is following me everywhere. If those arms can’t protect me from him, what can protect me?

 My heart as my brain was in pain. It felt like something else was waiting for getting out of my mind, something I did forget. I felt so weak that I could sense another panic attack waiting for another intense feeling to show up. No, this monster made me weak enough, today; I won’t be weak no more. I can’t show my dead state to anyone, I can’t let my past state showing up again. I’m stronger (?) now.

I took several deep breaths and walked to the office.

He was sitting there, with a blank look.

My right hand went to my lips automatically. It’s been a while… the last time my heart felt overwhelmed like this was 2 years ago before he left me. My heart is indeed weak when it comes to Nam Woohyun but I have to stop thinking about what happened. I have to stay away from him a while in order to erase those bad memories properly.

The fact is I don’t want to know who did that to me. I want him to disappear from my life and from my nightmares and memories. I wish to be happy like before but it’s only possible if this monster leaves my mind.

Maybe I can’t be happy with Woohyun anymore, but at least I want to be able to live by myself, I want to be freed from this nightmare like reality.

I want to live simply… even without Woohyun near me.

The moment I came closer of my desk, Woohyun turned his head toward me and stood up. He was wearing a worried and sad look but I chose to ignore it.

What Nam Woohyun?  Just because you came back, I have to be with you again? It’s so obvious you’re playing with me…   “I can’t ever let you go anymore. I’ll not leave you. I’ll stay by your side…forever.” You’re playing with my feelings. Leaving someone and killing her feelings to come back 2 years after, pretending nothing had happened. Even if those things hadn’t happen to me, I would never be by your side again, even though my heart is beating crazily and wants to run to your side and forgive everything.

-I…

-I think we talked a lot about childish matter those past days Woohyun-ssi. Like adults, let’s just work, I’m really tired… I wish you could understand.

I did the thing I mastered for 2 years, blocking any feeling and just talking without feeling anything. Just avoiding the matter again. It was harder this time of course because the one in front of me used to know me before so he can clearly understand I’m being fake. Nevertheless, I was glad to see that he moved to sit again. He must have understood that it wasn’t the right moment after what just happened. We both needed time… a lot of time in order to heal.

I faced my computer and tried to concentrate on the work. The project is the most important matter for the moment, I have to finish this project and let go of him for good. I have to let him go. I need to let him go. I need to erase everything from my past.

But Nam Woohyun is here, just next to me. His warmth, his body, his voice, he is just next to me. How can I even concentrate when he is looking at my back?

His words, were there even true?

I clenched my fists and tried to focus on the words on the computer.

You can do this Hyun Jae, you can erase the past, you can erase him, you can move on.

I suddenly heard Woohyun’s hand typing on his keyboard and it kind of relaxed me. This sound was relaxing and it suddenly struck me how I could work next to him every day for some days without standing up and yelling at him from everything. This sound I am so used to hear. I can still see Woohyun’s back from the couch, typing something in his computer.

Maybe I can still stick on some memories before he leaves me again…

That’s how the day passed, with me day dreaming about the past and managing to work correctly. I let my mind playing tricks to me and let me imagined that Woohyun was still on my living room working. This will end but maybe I can just enjoy some moments before it ends.

It was the first time in days that I was feeling grateful to have Woohyun’s as partner… the first and obviously last.

In the end of the week, official meetings are being prepared and if the shareholders are on our side, this project will end in 2 months… great.

-Excuse me but you can’t… HEY!!! You can’t enter without… Mister!!!

I jerked a bit when I heard the secretary yelling at someone. The moment I lifted my head, I saw someone entering the boss’s room.

My eyes widened.

-Can’t be…

I took my phone from my bag, 5pm… It can’t be him… Sungjong obviously forced him to help me; this person won’t force me because he doesn’t want to help me at first…. Kim Sunggyu…

No it’s definitely not him.

Since I was scared of that possibility, I quickly stood up and put my things on my back.

If it’s him I have to leave. I’m tired of him already!

The secretary who was running behind the man who entered the boss’s room came back to her desk and sighed.

-They will kill me one day, I swear it… she exclaimed and turned back to her work.

-There are too many strange people here.

I turned at the voice behind me. Nam Woohyun, who giggled at the secretary’s reaction, was looking at me and smiling slightly.

-How did you even find this workplace? He asked as if nothing happened this morning.

-I’m wondering the same thing, how did you find this workplace? There are hundreds of places that are willing to take you anytime.

He looked at me and was going to answer when the secretary talked aloud again, gathering our attention:

-Finally out this troublemaker. She scoffed.

I looked at the door and my eyes widened again.

Holy it’s really him.

-Don’t look at me like that, I’m not going to eat you…yet! Kim Sunggyu was indeed walking to me, with his mocking glare. 

∞                                                                        ∞                                               ∞

*bow deeply* SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE!!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR READERS<3

I WISH YOU A BLISSFUL YEAR!!!! :D

I'll work hard on this story and I hope it's not boring! Sorry~

Thanks for your support <3<3<3

Again sorry!!! Exam soon and OGS LONDON and PARIS killed me literally!!! *sobs*