∞                                                                        ∞                                               ∞

-Hyun Jae! You know him??? Asked the secretary surprised.

I nodded to her and bowed apologetically.

-Sorry for the bother, this person is dumb.

-Heeyyyy~ Doctor Kim said while taking my bag.

-My bag! I wined but he didn’t give it.

-I’m glad you are ready! I have not to lose my time waiting for you to get ready, let’s go!

He suddenly took my wrist and when I tensed  he rubbed my wrist gently.

I couldn’t say a word when he smiled at me. He then turned and bowed saying sorry and again looking at me kindly.

-You're going somewhere Hyun Jae? Suddenly asked Woohyun suspiciously looking at Sunggyu.

Oh no I forgot he was still there too... witnessing everything.

I nodded without looking at him and looked straight at Sunggyu, my eyes kind of pleading to go quickly which he did, dragging me without looking back. 

-Why are you being nice to me? I asked when he dragged me to the elevator.

We entered the elevator and when the gates closed:

-Sungjong told me to be nice with you since you don’t want to come to the sessions anymore.

His smile disappeared.

-But I guess it’s not needed anymore since nobody is around.

It suddenly struck me.

-I’m not going anywhere! I said a little bit too loudly while trying to take my hand back.

-It was Nam Woohyun the man who glared at me? He suddenly laughed and let go of my hand. I thought he was going to kill me when I took your hand!

-Wait wait! You took my hand only to see his reaction?

-Yeah! I wanted to make sure it’s Nam Woohyun. You look alike; his eyes are telling me hundreds of words, he is not the smart type.

-He is smart, more than you will ever be.

-Oh cute protecting you ex. I really hate talking with girls in love! And if your Woohyun was really smart, he should have understand something happened to you, you're sometimes too obvious in showing that something happened to you… trust me he is not the smart type.

-What? I was dumbfounded at his words. I am not playinga victim!

-No you're not. But the more you try to hide your past, the more tense you will be! He said remembering the moment I tensed earlier.

He took my hand back when we went out of the elevator.

-Where are we going? I wasn’t supposed to finish work now.

-You seemed ready to leave! Your bag was even ready!

I sighed and just let myself be guided by him.

-What? Don’t tell me you were trying to escape from me? So childish... 

-Yes I was trying indeed. I just don't want to have anything to do with your sessions.I was being serious but he couldn’t stop giggling.

-Am I that scary? And you can’t escape from me! I told you the very first day, if you miss even one session I won’ let you go. And Mister Lee knows you’re leaving, since I’m a friend of Jongie I am loved by this man so you don't have to worry for your job.

So full of himself! I sighed again and tried to take my hand only to bother him but he tightened his hold.

-Where are you bringing me?

We were now outside and he opened the door of, what I can imagine, is his car and let me in. I reluctantly sit and waited for him to enter too. When he sat he looked at me and finally answered:

-Since you didn’t come yesterday, I read your fills again and one of Sungjong comment made me wondering about something…

He looked at me, not really sure of saying it to me or not but finally decided to tell me at the end:

-He wrote down 1 year ago: “I talked about music and today again she was silent. She doesn’t seem to have any hobbies”.

I looked away to not meet his eyes.

-Touché! He said and laughed. So, how about enjoying some music before going to my office?

I looked at him with fear, eyes widening.

                     The last time I listened to music was when we went to the park with Sungyeol and Myungsoo… I ended at the hospital and this guy knows it all.

I didn’t fear music, but too much noise is strangely making my heartbeats increasing and my body sick as if I am ready to have a panic attack at any moment.

I knew the reason but no, it’s not a way to begin a session. If his methods are like this, I can tell I won’t be healed soon.

Finally, after some time, we went to a place with a fountain. There weren’t many people and I was thankful for it. I wasn’t ready for a second panic attack, it would affect me more than the first, it was a matter of fact, my body isn't strong at all to bear another attack.

We went out of the car and Sunggyu just walked toward the fountain. I followed him with a huge sigh that he heard since he chuckled… of course it annoyed me so deeply but at least he wasn't making fun of me for the nth time. 

-Can’t you walk faster?

Yeah... he can be such an angel sometimes.

I glared at him and again he giggled. He stayed silent for some time after that. We were listening to the water flowing from the river. We were now walking by the river to an unkown place. The Han River is a calm place and there were only, in that moment, some passersby. It was calm indeed... it was calm before I heard a sound which became clearer than the water and I shivered at the realization. I looked shocked at Sunggyu.

-You finally noticed? I thought we had to wait another 40minutes but you were quit fast this time.

I didn’t answer and tried to prepare myself.

This is a fact: I’m alone with Sunggyu, my phone is in the car with my bag, there are people even though there are not a lot and if I’m left alone, I probably won’t survive. So whatever Kim Sunggyu is preparing for me, I have to face it, I have not another choice… I hate you Kim Sunggyu.

-You can hate me as much as you want but it won’t change anything. Are you ready? People seemed to have fun there. I didn’t know which kind of music you liked so I thought of an open concert of rock.

-I can’t.

I stopped walking glaring at him with all my will.

-Why? He asked suspiciously. Don’t tell me you don’t like rock?

I didn’t answer and dig a hole in Sunggyu’s eyes.

He sighed.

-When was the last time you listen to music? I mean real music, not sounds that can make you scared or that made you scared, but true music?

He was being serious now I could feel it.

The last time?  I couldn’t even remember…

-Come on. Let’s go. This will help you, trust me.

He looked at me intently a last time before walking slowly to the place from where some sounds were coming.

A rock concert but it sounded as if it was a small concert. We were walking and were close to a bridge. Such great scenery to hold a concert. The concert seemed to be hold far away since there were only slight sounds coming. Every 2 steps Kim Sunggyu was looking at me and scanning my face to notice any problem. And I could feel problems coming.                                                                                   I haven’t the control on my body for 2 years so it wasn’t a shock when my body began to shiver slightly when we were closer to the concert which means closer to a crowded place.                                                                                                                        In this area, people were also meeting, jogging together, and enjoying time with their friends or family so there were more and more people. I could see the stage which was really far from where we were but my body stopped when someone pushed me slightly while running. I was so shocked at the sudden touch that I stayed still, eyes as big as saucer, tears threatening to fall as my fists were clenching, my nails digging on my flesh. The shock from the touch made my heart stop as my breath for a second. The music from the concert seemed closer and closer suddenly and I could hear it clearly now. I was shivering.

I could now feel my heart pounding in my chest and the blood rushing to my ears. My reflex was to block any sound from entering my ears so I covered my ears with my hands and when I sensed my legs giving up on me, someone hold me tightly by the waist, hugging me.

I suddenly felt a slight breath on my right hand and a little voice saying:

-Breathe

With this only word, I felt my mouth opening and I found myself breathing again even though I didn’t remember holding my breath.

Sunggyu’s POV

She was having a panic attack in front of my eyes.

I was sure that her trauma had something to do with music but I couldn’t possibly imagine she would react like that. How did people around here never noticed this fear for music before???

She suddenly covered her ears with her hands and I ran to her, holding her tightly. I already noticed how she was shivering from the start of this experience and now that she was in my arms, I could feel her body tense and shiver more and more. Her head was now on my chest and I could feel her heart pounding crazily. When I realized that she wasn’t breathing, I quickly told her to breathe, what she did fortunately. She was so pale, she could have faint at any second.

-Can you walk?

When she didn’t answer I slowly began to walk, Hyun Jae still in my arms. Her legs were shaking slightly and I was scared she might fall. We had to leave this place as fast as possible. I let go of her waist and instead put an arm around it to make it safe for her and with my other arm I lifted her up. Her arms automatically went around my neck. I could finally see her face properly. She was tightly closing her eyes and biting on her lover lip harshly, it was bleeding. After some seconds, she let go of her lips… she fainted.

I walked quickly, making sure she was safe on my arms.

Some people were looking at us worriedly in the way of the car. When I was right next to the car, I tried to find my keys and open the passenger door but Hyun Jae was holding me tightly. Fortunately a young lady who had seen how I was in trouble ran to me and helped me.

-Is she alright? She asked worriedly.

-Yes. She just fainted. I’m a doctor; I am going to bring her to a safe and calm place, she needs some rest. Can you take my keys and open the door for me please?

I felt the need to explain everything… or is it just that I talk a lot when I am concerned?                                                                      She did as I asked and I slowly put Hyun Jae in the passenger sit being careful not to hurt her.

-Thanks a lot. I bowed to the lady and went straight to my sit. I sighed when I looked at her face in pain. It was a harsh panic attack, so harsh she fainted. Didn't she go through this stage already? Fainting because of music? Is this even good in her state?

^{∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞}

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

Hyun Jae's POV

I felt a heavy pressure on my head which made me realize I was finally awake. I was used to this state actually. This moment you know you fainted but don’t remember a thing or don’t even try to look for what happened.

I slightly tried to open my eyes and when I kind of succeeded, I groaned in pain. My head hurt so much. 

I did the first movements I learnt, movements I have to do after a panic attack. First: closing back your eyes. Second: moving your finger then hands and then arms slowly. Third: trying to move slowly your body.

When I came in this third point, I felt something kind of uncomfortable. I groaned again. I slowly reopened my eyes and then heard a sigh not far from me.I was in a familiar place and the sigh too sounded familiar.

-What happened? I said, barely a whisper but Sunggyu heard it.

I recognized his office right away even though the books that attracted me where not there anymore.

Did he bring his library somewhere else?

-You fainted.

-I can recall this… but why am I not in a hospital bed with Myung and Yeol crying like babies holding tightly my hands?

I heard a little chuckle from him or was it a dream?

I tried to sit properly and finally looked at him to see his lips forming a small smile. So he can smile genuinely this bastard…

-You must be used to this treatment to explain it with such precisions.

-Well, I was bought to hospital every time I had a panic attacked… at the end, they had to bring hospital in my small lift. Don’t look like that; those two babies can do everything you think is impossible! They called nurses and doctors to look for me! Of course after a month, I exploded and since then only a doctor is taking care of me.

Sunggyu looked surprised by my words but his smile never fainted… and then I realized… Why am I even talking to him?

-Sungjong told me about Sungyeol a lot and his jealous boyfriend but I never had the chance to meet them. It would be good to meet them some day. And if they are worried for you when you are with me, you can tell them I have some knowledge in health, that’s why you are not in the hospital now.

What doesn’t he know anyway?

-I see. Thanks for taking care of me and… wait, why would they be worried for me when I am with you?

-Well, I don’t know, you didn’t come yesterday so I thought maybe… I mean, I only hoped it wasn’t your decision not to come but it’s obvious now I was right.

-Sorry about that… I told you, I only need to forget everything, if you can help me for that, I will gladly accept your help.

Wait, why was I feeling so comfortable suddenly?

I shook my head and frowned when I suddenly remember why I fainted… the open air concert.

-I am not here to let you forg-

-Why would you bring me there anyway? I cut him off.

He looked at me intently and finally answered after long seconds of silence.

-For how long you are not listening to music?

Again this question.

-A very long time M. Kim.

-Call me just Sunggyu.

-Why? You are my doctor that would be disrespectful.

-Whatever… he says ruffling his hair.

He looked at me again.

-Are you forced to always contradict me?

-Listen doctor Kim, it is obvious I don’t want to be here. So let’s make this easier for everyone, ok?

-Okay!

My eyes widened. I never thought he would actually agree.

-If the “kind” method doesn’t work with you, let’s try something else.

-What?

He stood up and walked to his desk. I sigh and stood too.  I wasn't going to stay with this weird doctor any longer. We can’t even talk for a minute without arguing. I was going to leave the room when my steps were stopped because of a sudden loud song which made me froze.  

My heart was crazily pounding in my chest. I had to hold myself with the wall.

-S-stop… I whispered, shivering. The music was too loud. I could feel it with all my body… like that one night…

-Did you talk? I can’t hear you!

I groaned and turned to face him. He was wearing a serious look and was waiting for me to react.

I closed my eyes, my heart beating quickly. I was feeling dizzy… and this feeling was too familiar.

Suddenly my mind brought back a piece of memory. I could blurry saw a shadow, a man’s back and I was following it, more like forced to follow him and I felt tired suddenly.

-Hyun Jae!

The memory disappeared slowly and I realized where I was a moment ago.

I opened my eyes and I couldn’t hear any music anymore which was a relief. But my ears were hurting due to the sudden loud sound.

Sunggyu sighed and helped me standing up, holding my hands tightly. Was I even sitting a moment ago???

-Did you let yourself fall on purpose? Knowing I will stop the song?

He brought me to the sofa and sat next to me.

-Your methods are horrible… but I actually thought of worth!

He giggled.

-So you actually did it on purpose!

He stood up and sat back on a chair not far from me. While he was doing so I noticed some scratches in my hands… I didn’t even feel that I was digging my nails so deeply to the point of hurting my hands. I quickly tried to hide those little scars from the Kim guy.

-Why are you even helping me…Sunggyu? I asked suddenly, trying to chance the subject. If he thinks I did it on purpose then it’s perfect. My life is not interesting! I am not a case you can have fun with! If the t-thing interest you that much just do like others and ask questions about it until I answer you that I don’t know and don’t bother trying to find the source of all my mental illness!

He sighed again and looked intently at me, telling me clearly those words:

- You’re wrong; the doesn’t interest me, your past either. I’m just trying to bring you back to life.

I looked at him intently.

-It’s not because you are breathing that you are alive… we already talked about it.

-What do you want to know then?

He smiled and leaned back on his chair.

-I want you to remember good things, things that will show you how life is precious. Tell me for example… did you ever had a puppy at home?

My eyes widened… Is he stupid?

-What?

-A puppy! Did you ever have one?

Is he serious?

-You totally look serious with this question…

-I am! So answer!

What is he trying to do? Is he even qualified at all for this job? Life is precious? I know it, why would he even bring me to life when I am alive.

I looked at him some seconds more and finally decided to answer... he looked so… curious about it!

-No never.

He didn’t say anything so I decided to continue: - Actually I always wanted one. My parents wanted to buy one but before they die, I was scared of dogs.

-Why?

-Why what? Why they die?

-No, why were you scared?

I looked at him with a “are you serious???” face. He could have easily asked this question and I would have gladly answered!

-I told you I am not interested in your bad memories… for the moment.

He was smiling widely which caused his eyes to disappear… cute…?

-Well, when I was around 3 years old, I was attack by a little baby dog, my mom said it to me. After in my aunt house there weren’t any so I never had one.  My aunt is not the caring kind. Well she is since she took care of me but she is not the loving kind.

-I see. That’s why she is never around you. Where is she by the way? She is the only family you have, right?

-Yes she is. But my cousin Amy had to leave Korea to study in the United States so she had to leave me. And I really didn’t want to follow them.

-So let’s go back to the puppy matter, how did you fight your fear of dogs?

Memories… in all of them, the ones with you hurt the most.

-Nam Woohyun. He was the one helping me.

I could clearly see the little puppy in his arms and his hands on mine, telling me: “He is cute, he won’t harm, trust me.”

“Trust me”… It was enough to make me do anything.

-Talk to me about your parents.

I sighed, coming back to reality.

-You said that you didn’t want to make me talk about the bad memories yet.

-Well, it seems like it is not your saddest memories.

I glared at him.

-Don’t misunderstand! Of course it is a horrible thing to lose someone from your family… it is even worst when it is both your parents, I didn’t say the opposite. But you seem heal from this bad memories.

I nodded.

-Time heals everything…

I could feel something in his eyes when he talked about losing “someone of your family” but it was so fast I couldn’t understand what he felt. He probably lost his parents too.

-They died in a car accident. We were coming to Seoul to see my aunt and it was raining harshly.

-I read that it did give you a post-traumatic disorder. But I didn’t see how you fight it. Mind to explain this?

I paused again.

-Nam Woohyun.

For some seconds he frowned but didn’t say anything.

-It took me time to get over the huge pain and traumatism but I can say that I am definitely healed from it. Woohyun and his mom were there for me. I am fine now.

 -What is your favorite color?

Really? He won’t say how he did? How I could get over a huge pain like this?

-Blue.

-Mine’s white!

I smiled because he said it like an 8 years old child.

-Do you love cats?

-Not really.

-I do love them...

What is the purpose of all those questions? I was too tired to even try understanding him so I suddenly stood up, startling him.

-It is late. I should go. Myungsoo and Sungyeol are probably waiting for me. And I am kind of tired.

-Normal after your panic attack. I will not say it to Sungjong so don't feel the burden to tell them. It was my fault at first to bring you there. But well seems like we find a way to talk without quarreling. 

-Yes, anyway don't ever come to the office. I will come here tomorrow so you really don't have to come anymore.

He nodded and proposed politely to take me back home but I refused and left him in his office.

Sunggyu POV

Nam Woohyun… you are everywhere.

 Nobody should rely on someone that much. Didn’t he know that leaving her would mean killing her?

Did he even love her?

I sigh and slowly closed my eyes… this case is affecting me too much… I shouldn’t even try to be close to her…

…. Yeah I shouldn’t but something made me want to protect her….

∞                                                                        ∞                                               ∞

BOW 90 DEGREES. I am deeply sorry for leaving for sooo long!!!!

So many things happen in my life and I wasn't able to update! Really sorry!!!

Anyway I am not sure to keep on writting this story because I think I lost my readers ^^'

Thanks for those who are reading and if you want this story to continue, please tell me ^^'

BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK XDD

Please vote and support for INFINITE and HighSchool Love On :DD