Hyun Jae’s POV

What was the meaning of all this?

I tried my best to walk. I couldn’t stop my tears and my mind was so confused!

At first I found the strength to run but now I’m just out of energy! I couldn’t even breathe…

“Why are you avoiding me?”

Why shouldn’t I? How can I talk to the man with whom I shared all my first times, all my pain for 6 years and who left me like I was nothing, as if we never ever lived what we lived?

“Is it because your boyfriend told you to do so?”

Why every word that you’re saying is hurting me like hell?

Why my heart brought me to the old time, when you were always jealous of me, the moment you said this?

Those words and this voice that I was waiting for two years ago are now with me, but I wished they weren’t there…like the day you left me, the day my life turned in a nightmare.

-HYUN JAE!

I immediately stopped.

It was Sungyeol’s voice.

I turned and looked everywhere in order to find him. When I spotted him, he was stopping his car and going out of it; I ran to him and hugged him tightly, as if my life was depending on it.

I was used to it, even if it wasn’t calming me. I was used to hug Myungsoo or Sungyeol, to rely on them whenever I was feeling weak. If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t survive for two years.

-Shuuut, calm down Hyun Jae-yah~ Everything is alright! I’m here now.  He whispered through my ear.

Sungyeol coaxed me and my hair while talking to me. We stood like that for a long moment. We didn’t care about people walking and watching us.

After a long time, my tears stopped and I was only sobbing. And then, Sungyeol took me in the car and he brought me back home.

When we entered the flat, Sungyeol put me to bed.

-Hyun Jae-yah, where are your medicines? Where did you put them?

I just turned back and buried my face on the pillow.

I don’t need those damn medicines to calm down… I just need him even it’s hurting like hell.

-Hyun Jae-ah~ he said softly while my hair. You have to take them whenever you’re feeling bad, remember?

I didn’t reply. When will they stop talking to me as if I was a 3 years old child or as if I was mentally ill?

I’m alright… I just need time to… to forget him? To live a happy life?

Yeah that’s right… A life without Nam Woohyun is now possible since I finally saw him after that long… I can erase him…

-I saw you with this guy…it was Nam Woohyun, right?  Asked hesitantly Sungyeol.

My eyes widened, he saw us?

-I think Myungsoo is wrong…

I slowly turned to him with puffy eyes. He was sitting on the floor.

He sat next to me on the bed when I turned to him.

-You’re hurting yourself! Myungsoo may be blind but I’m not! You still love this Nam guy!

I was going to deny it when he cut me:

-Why are you crying now if it’s not because of him? For 1 year, you were alright, we were hoping to see you smile, a genuine smile I mean. We were hoping to see you happy! It seemed possible until the guy came back in your life. For 2 weeks you’re holding your feelings and tears from us like when we first meet! All the work that we did with Sungjong…it’s just gone! I don’t know how much you love this guy but I only know that if you keep on avoiding him, you’ll feel awful!

-I was startled… I believed that I would never see him again. I was so sure of that…

-And he just turned back. You have to bare this! I know how strong you are even though you’re crying every time and you’re health is not that good.

He smiled and pinched my checks.

And then his smile disappeared.

-You kind of woke up when he came; I mean your pain woke you up. I know you’re hurt, but don’t worry, you’re not alone! So…you can go talk to him…you need it…

I shivered slightly at the thought.

-We are here! He can’t hurt you anymore…we are here for you! I know how badly you want to talk to him… even if it’s not for talking about what happened to you.

-I don’t want to! I said firmly

-Hyun J-

I sat up and looked at him straight in the eyes with teary eyes.

-I’m weak, physically and mentally! I may still have lingering feelings for him…but nothing…nothing can erase the pain that he gave to me! Not even all the good times we spent together in the past. Even if my heart lets me, my mind won’t accept to let him enter in my life again, even though it’s as a co-worker! I suffered a lot, I want things to change…Sungyeol, please help me to survive without him near me! I know my request may be weird and stupid but during those 2 years, I wasn’t living, I was just in a nightmare, waiting for death to come! Now that I see him healthy, happy, I realize that those 2 years weren’t worth it! I want to show to you, to Myungsoo, to everyone that, now that I’m finally aware of the world around me; I can live without any thought of Nam Woohyun… But I need your help for the moment until he gets out of my life.

He smiled slightly.

-So you just needed to see him happy to begin a new life? If I knew it before, I would have looked for him and showed it to you earlier!

-Thanks. I only answered.

-Not need to… You already made your decision in your own. And since you need us more than before, I’m going to call Sungjong, he has to take you back, we can’t wait any longer for this M.Kim Sungsomething!

I giggled.

-“I”! I can’t wait any longer, that’s true! But “I” have to! Sungjong is doing what he is doing for a reason. I have to admit that I didn’t agree with that at first but if you’re thinking of it, it’s good for me. He knows that I’m not ready to talk and maybe I’ll never be…That’s why he is trying new ways.

He pouted.

-Don’t worry, I continued, I’ll try a session with the new and if I don’t like it, I’ll stop!

I smiled and lied back.

-I think I need to rest more. I’m going to have a hard day tomorrow!

He nodded gently and kissed my forehead.

-What happened today…I’m going to say it to Myung, you know right? He suddenly said before leaving the room.

-I didn’t ask you to hide it anyway. I know it too well that you can’t hide anything from him.

He laughed and left me.

Alone, the only thing that I could think about was: Do I really, truly believe what I said?

Is it even possible to live without this horrible Nam Woohyun?

Is it even possible to bear his presence?

I wanted him to stay by my side in a way but I couldn’t stand his presence… I’m totally weird!

The only thing that was sure was: I’m finally back after 2 years of nightmare, and I’m going to change my life, trying to not depend on someone. Of course for the beginning I need help to be able, after, to fly with my own wings…

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I was in front of my desk. I was thinking about Myungoo’s words. He was clearly upset because of my behavior.  

Indeed, we fought this morning.

“-Why did you even listen to him? And why did you cry? This guy isn’t even thinking about your feelings! Plus, you’re not feeling anything for him so why would you been crying, right?”

I sighed.

-You look sad Hyun Jae-sshi! Suddenly said Miss Min. More than usual!

I looked at her with an annoy look.

-Don’t look at me like that! You’ve come early, see nobody is here yet! Plus you’re wearing a very sad look and…you’re eyes are puffy?

-NO! I shouted,covering my eyes with my hands. Secretary Min, you should care about your own business! I’m not in the right mood to hear your nonsense words!

She sighed and sat on her own sit. When I heard her chair moving, I let go my hands of my eyes.

Long and silent minutes passed. I was fulfilling important document for the photo shooting of tomorrow.

-Hi Miss Kang! Exclaimed happily YuHan.

I didn’t answer, too focus on the papers. I didn’t even notice the other person with him.

-Don’t bother her! Answered Secretary Min. She is in a bad mood.

-Why? YuHan asked.

-She is SAD! Even though she doesn’t want to talk about it! Oww I thought depressive Hyun Jae was gone…

She sighed again.

I just heard the sigh. The other words were entering my mind but I couldn’t understand the meaning because I was too focusing on my work.

I became a serious and brilliant girl thanks to what happened to me.

The only way to erase pain, for a short time of course: WORK! So, for 2 year, I was working like no one, taking no holydays and working without stopping the day I received this job, thanks to Myungsoo and Sungyeol.

The day passed by so quickly. Those papers had to be finished for the end of the day so I didn’t have the time to stop. Plus Myungsoo’s hurting words of the morning were still on my mind, I had to erase them before going home, I can’t be mad at him.

For lunch, someone left a sandwich for me; I assumed it was Miss Min because even if she looks mean,  she is too nice and we’re in fact good co-workers.

It was just when I heard my phone ring that I stopped my work.

-Hi! I answer the call with a tired voice.

Why am I sounding sleepy and exhausted?

-Wow! You sound like you worked a lot and for long.

-Ah Oppa! I exclaimed when I heard Sungyeol’s voice.

-Come home already!

-Why? What time is it?

I tried to move my head but my neck was hurting.

I moved slowly and looked around… everyone was gone and it was already dark outside.

-It’s already 8PM!

-Oh I see. I’m coming. Are you waiting for me for the dinner? His Myung still angry towards me? 

-Of course we are waiting for you! And nope he is not anymore, he feels more bad because he yelled a lot this morning. Anyway, let's talk about it later. Just be fast pleeaaassse I’m sooooooo hungry!

I smiled slightly.

-Yeah~ I’m coming as soon as I can. I already finish my work, just…

I wrote 2 more things and turned off the computer.

-…FINISH! I’m here in 15 minutes, see ya~

-Alright!

I stood up and stretched. My whole body was hurting.

I took my bag and was leaving when I heard someone yawn behind me.

- You finally finished! We can talk now…

My eyes widened.

I turned and saw Woohyun sitting in his sit, next to mine. Why didn’t I notice him? He was so close to my place.

-We have nothing to say. I tried to say with a cold and firm voice.

He sighed and stood up. And then, he walked toward me.

At first I was walking back but then I decided that maybe, facing him would be better.

Just one time, talking just for once!

Each step was closer and closer. His face was clearer. My heart stopped for a second.

When he noticed that I wasn’t moving, he stopped in front of me but wasn’t looking at me…neither was I looking at him!

This situation was so awkward! I couldn’t bare it but I didn’t want to talk... for the moment. I just needed to hear him.

-I just waited to say one thing…

I looked at him when I heard his sad voice. He was still avoiding eye-contact.

-…When the project will end…I’ll leave you, this time forever.

My eyes widened.

I felt like crying but I just couldn’t.

I was waiting for this too for days so why am I sad? Why my heart is breaking like the day he broke up with me? Why I suddenly wanted him to not go anywhere and to stay infinitely by my side?

Why can’t I understand my own feelings?

Why is it so hard to live?

-I don’t want to hurt you more, that’s why I take this decision. He continued. Your life seems good without me so I’m not going to bother you more.

I clenched on my wrists and spoke with the colder voice ever.

-I thought you would never say that. I’m going to work harder and quicker in order to make you leave as soon as possible. When this day will come, just leave like you did 2 years ago…without making any sounds.

And then, without any other words, I left him alone.

In the elevator, I cried.

I was shocked… “He really wants to leave me again…”.

Go Nam Woohyun if it’s what you want! I’m not gonna make the same mistake and try to make you stay. Go and let me begin a new life.

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Woohyun’s POV

I felt on the ground. My heart couldn’t stand those words.

Yes, I was the one to say that I’ll go but didn’t she know me? How can I possibly see her everyday hurt because of me?

She has a boyfriend, a new life; I can’t stay here and hurt her. And, I can’t see her happy with another man… Everything makes me leave this place… But why it felt wrong to do so? Why my love for Hyun Jae doesn’t allow me to leave her?

I have to leave her, even though I don’t want it. I have to for her happiness.

I hurt her, I just can’t come back and ruin her new happy life…without me.

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Sorry for the late :( I finally updated!

I hope you enjoy this chapter? Let me know about it^^

I have alot of works even during holidays so I can't write :( 

Anyway, my play is in 2 weeks so I'll be busy :( FIGHTING! I stress a lot xD

 Have a great day~ <3

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY GYU<3 I'm late sorry~ xD 

xD

 Tooooooo cute<3 

(Sorry for speeling mistakes and gifs don't belongs to me!) 

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