Chapter 4

“Pay no attention to those who talk behind your back,
it only means that you’re two steps ahead of them”

And so I started told her about me!

“My name is Kang Dihoon. I am 20 years old”

There was a pause. I turned to look at her, and her face told me to continue.

“I’m a street dancer and do a part time job as a waiter at a café”

She seemed quite surprise by it.

“Why is that? Are you graduated yet?” she asked. I shook my head and continue my story.

“I’m poor and couldn’t afford myself to study. I live by my own. My mom passed away two years ago”

a bit opened; surprised by my story. And her face seemed really worried too.

“I’m sorry to hear that (that’s meant she pitied her)”, I just smiled sweetly; reassuring her that it’s nothing.

“I love dancing and do it as a part to support my living. I’m on the way for a competition too soon (it supposed to be like Street Jam).

“I was told that I have a brother around your age. But he passed away because he saved someone else’s life. He’s a brother with different mother. My mom said she owed my step mom and my brother a lot”

I turned to look at the idol again and she seemed to listen to my story really well. But then, she asked another question.

“At what age your brother died?” The shine-like girl asked.

“Hmm… around 15, but I’m not sure myself because I never see him”, I answered.

I noticed how shock she looked right now. And why is that anyway?

“What about your father?”

“I never see him since he separated with my mom and lived with his first wife. I don’t have the feeling to search for him anyway”

She nodded and looked down. I also looked somewhere else; at the sky at where my mom is right now, probably.
 

-
 

I looked at this Dihoon girl secretly; without her knowing. Somehow, I can feel someone’s presence in her. I felt like she has his aura.

“When is your birthday?”

Don’t get me wrong, I just want to make sure myself.

“October 20”

And once again my heart stopped beating. I stopped breathing as well. But I don’t want to show it to her, so I asked another question just to get my mind off of it.

“Are you a fan of SNSD?”

And her answer got a smile from me. “I’m totally a fan”

“Who is your bias?”

“You”, haha, I chuckled. But she seemed really serious.

“What do you like about me anyway, I thought people hate me because they think I’m rude”

I tested her and wanted to .

“Because to me, you are an angel, a caring angel that falls from the sky to heal my pain and to take care of me”

I was stunned at her answer at first, but then I gulped and awkwardly laughed at her answer.

“Haha… you’re such a good talker. Your girlfriend must be liked you so much because I can see that you are romantic”

She plastered a sweet smile and I noticed that she looked rather cute with her white-yellow skin.

“I don’t have any girlfriend.”

“Then, a boyfriend perhaps?” she shook her head. I kinda confuse

“Don’t tell me you don’t have any?! I can see that you’re kinda good looking”

 I can see that she blushed at my remark. Haha, so cute! I chuckled.

“I don’t have any interest in relationship. To me, my life worth living by my own without a lover”

“And why is that?” I asked. She looked at me directly in my eyes.

“Because I love you, my mom and God greater than anyone else”

And I was left speechless and puzzled by her straight and serious answers…

-
 

I got home after talking to Dihoon. It had passed midnight and quite surprised to see Seohyun still awake. Not only her. Yuri, Hyoyeon and Sunny too were still awake.

“Why of are you guys still awake? Don’t we have morning schedule later on at 6.30 a.m.?”

They looked worried about me.

“Why are you so late? What were you doing? Don’t you know how much we concern about you?” Yuri shouted to so sudden. I startled a bit. And somehow I felt kinda hurt.

She never raised her voice to me before.

I bit my lower lips, trying to hold back my tears. With her loud voice, the remaining members that weren’t here which are Taeyeon, Jessica, Sooyoung and Yoona came into the living room.

I can see that Hyoyeon, Sunny and Seohyun also surprised at her. Hyoyeon patted her shoulder, trying to calm Yuri’s down.

“So what? Why are you so care about me anyway? You lied to me by hiding Taeyeon and Jessica’s affair and now so sudden you cared about me coming home late?! And you even shouted to me? What the hell wrong with you anyway?”

I shouted back at her and I knew that she surprised by my burst. I just couldn’t help but to let my anger out to her. Sorry Yuri, but you started it first.

“What’s going on here? Fany, don’t tell me you do something stupid?” Taeyeon came and asked some stupid question. To me it is indeed a stupid question.

“What the hell? Why should I do it anyway? I’m not stupid and I’m smart enough to see the between the bad and the good, Kim Taeyeon!” I said sarcastically. She seemed startled by my words.

“Unnie…” Seohyun called me. She seemed really worried about me, but I ignored it.

I scoffed and went past by them to my room. Meeting Dihoon is so nice and feels so right, but after I got home it turned into a hell.

What a day!

-

I can’t sleep. I lied down on my bed; kept thinking about my meeting and Dihoon.

“What will you do if you know you were betrayed by the one you trusted?”

“Well, I’ll show them that I’m strong enough to stand by myself. I’m not weak. And I shouldn’t get defeated just by facing defeats. It felt so wrong! I have to be strong, like my mom!

And if they happen to talk behind my back, I shouldn’t be affected by it. To me, it means that I win and they lost!”

I smiled upon remembering her answer. She sure is different from any other people that I’ve known.

If only I was her…

-

I just couldn’t get myself out from last night event. Tiffany mad at me and refused to talk to me. I felt hopeless. I wanted to ask for her forgiveness, but she was avoiding me.

Arghh, I’m so frustrated!

Sooyoung and Sunny came up to me. They saw me gloomy face and could guess what I was thinking about. They also sighed.

“Come one Yul, you have to talk to her. You two have been best of friend and suddenly you two are in a cold war. It kinda stressed us out!” Sooyoung said.I just didn’t know why I’m such a coward for not being able to confess to Tiffany, and now I can’t even ask for her forgiveness.

“Tae and Sica also felt guilty and worried about you two. Tiffany seemed still made at us for lying to her. We can’t even ask for a proper apologize”

Sunny was right. Tae and Sica felt guilty. Because of them, Tiffany also mad at us. But I don’t mind that, as long as Tiffany didn’t do something stupid, I still can remain cool. But last night event, I have to ask for her forgiveness. I mad at her for nothing.

But the truth is I really worried of her. I just cannot stop myself from thinking the negative things. I felt horrible! I always had thought that maybe she tried to suicide because of the pain that Taeyeon gave her and such, but my thoughts all go wrong. When she came home, I let out my anger to her; even though she clueless at why I was being so mad.

The members also felt like I was overacting. Yoona said so! I sighed for 100^th time for today and closed my eyes to get my mind right.

TBC