Chapter 11

“A broken heart deserves a second chance, a new beginning and a lasting love”

I was just coming back from the gym. I felt really stressed lately, especially at the part when I saw Dihoon slept on Tiffany’s arms. I felt angry at her, Tiffany and especially at myself.

Tiffany and I can never work out well as a couple. Tiffany didn’t love me. She only saw me as her best friend.

I had always thought how lucky Taeyeon was to have Tiffany as her girlfriend.

The latter made such a great and wonderful girlfriend, wife and even a mom.

But, when I found out about Taeyeon and Sica, I felt angry at her for doing things which were not right behind Tiffany. I wanted to tell them to stop lying and cheating, but the members told me to leave it behind and let Taeyeon and Jessica solved it by themselves.

I walked to my room but I saw a figure was leaning on Tiffany’s door room. I recognized who it was.

Dihoon!

What was she doing?

“What are you doing?” I asked her. My tone was cold.

She looked up and I saw her eyes were red. She had been crying?

It’s such a heartbreaking scene, but I ignored it and stared at her coldly.

But what surprised me the most was when she suddenly got up to her feet and pulled me in her embrace. She was sobbing hardly and cried on my shoulder. My tank top went soaked because of her tears.

This kind reminded me of Tiffany. She had always cried on my shoulder like this.  She wrapped her hands around my neck. I was breathless.

I suddenly felt Tiffany’s presence in her. God, how I miss her to be against my body like this.

I felt the warmness of Tiffany even though she’s Dihoon. For the firs time, I wished she’s stayed in my arms like this a bit longer. I closed my eyes for a while

But my big mouth ruined everything.

“Dihoon-ssi, what do you think you’re doing?”

She was startled. Maybe she’s just realized who she’s hugging. She suddenly pulled away from the hug.

How I hoped that I didn’t say anything earlier.

She looked at me with her puffy eyes. Just so I realized.

Her eyes reminded me of Tiffany. Her staring made me feel…love.

Oh God, how can Dihoon make me feel like this? She’s way different from Tiffany. She’s much taller while Tiffany’s smaller.

“I’m sorry”, she muttered.

Don’t say those words, it’s heartbreaking for me.

“It’s okay”, I shook my head. Why I suddenly wanted to be nice to her?

She looked down and ran away. She then disappeared in a blink of eyes behind from my sight.

I shook my head. I just realized from being hypnotizing.

Huh, such a relief she’s gone. I couldn’t believe that I just thought that I maybe I can do something with her.

Just when I was about to walk to my room, I heard a door was opened and quickly looked back at Tiffany’s room.

Taeyeon was coming out from it and Tiffany was with her. I widened my eyes.

“Thanks for earlier, Fany-ah. I’ll be at my room now, bye”, Taeyeon said and turned to where I was standing and staring sharply at the two figures ahead of me. Taeyeon was shocked as well as Tiffany. I glared at Taeyeon as she walked passed by me and I turned back to look at Tiffany.

She was looking at me but directly at my eyes but…

…this wasn’t TIFFANY that I was looking at. She didn’t have the warmness that my Tiffany always have.

She turned her back at me and went into the room.

I felt like I’m going crazy today…

-
 

I felt so embarrassed.

I didn’t know what came into me. I just felt like to hug Yuri earlier.

The familiar to be in her arms came rushing in my mind. I felt her warmth as her scent came into my nose. I felt home with her.

I heard what Taeyeon said. This was my second lost, not really a lost, but I lost in love. Although I didn’t feel much heartbreak from what Taeyeon did compare to my past boyfriend gave me, still I felt my heart broke into pieces.

But still, this wasn’t much of a heartbreak than what my past boyfriend gave me.

Yuri, I want to be in your arms longer. But self conscious came into me as I realized who I am now.

I’m Kang Dihoon, not Stephanie nor SNSD Tiffany.

I have no right to cry on your shoulder. I have no right to wish to be in your arms longer that what you think.

I suddenly missed you. I missed my life as Tiffany. I missed to joke around with SNSD, and mostly…

…I missed to laugh along with you and hugged you as much as I wanted.

Yuri, what is this feeling?

-

I was in a meeting with Lee Sooman. This was the first time I got to meet him.

He’s giving such a fatherly vibe, and I suddenly liked him.

I used to hate him for what happened with TVXQ now, but after meeting him, he’s much different than what I used to think about him.

What I used to think about him in the past was so bad. But I guessed he’s a really good teacher and boss to all SM’s artists.

The meeting ended and I was thinking to grab a drink because I was thirsty. But the handsome young man that I really liked and used to think of him as a suitable husband for Tiffany.

Choi Siwon of Super Junior. A gentleman young man whom I really liked as Tiffany’s pair the most amongst male idols.

He approached me with his charming smile and sweet dimple. Arghh, he’s so handsome.

“Fany-ah, I’m sorry to hear that”

I was confused. What he’s talking about?

“About what, oppa?”

Err, I felt awkward to call him that in a casual way when I’m feeling very shy inside.

“That you and Taeyeon official broke up”

“Oh… WHAT?!”

“I heard from the members that you asked from Taeyeon an official broke up. I’m sorry to hear that. I used to think how Taeyeon and you make a great couple”

Siwon flashed his sympathy smiled. I suddenly felt pathetic.

But when did I ask for a break up from Taeyeon? I did not do that.

And at this one thing, I could only thought of a person.

Tiffany…

…maybe she’s the one who did that.

-
 

I was practicing dances with some members. I wanted to shake off the thought of last night event. It’s such an embarrassing moment for me for having such a thought to do that with Dihoon.

As I finished dancing, I sat for awhile feeling tired. Yunho oppa and Changmin oppa came and sat beside me.

“Yuri-ah, did we hear it right?” Yunho oppa asked.

“About what?”

“About Tiffany asked for an official broke up with Taeyeon”

“What?” I was surprised. Did I hear it right?

“Didn’t you know? The news already spread around the company. Jessica told me herself”, Changmin oppa spoke up.

Really? Is it real?

Then, is it last night Taeyeon’s in Tiffany’s room to break up officially and properly?

Then, I couldn’t be happier than this.

Unconsciously, I plastered a smile. I was happy.

“Yuri-ah, do you really like it? I still felt sorry for Taeyeon though, but I’m happy that finally you got a chance with Tiffany”, Yunho oppa said.

I’m sorry to say this, but yes, Yunho oppa and Changmin oppa knew about my feelings for Tiffany. They are the only one I could tell about what I feel for Tiffany. The members have the right to know it too, but I was considering about Tiffany’s relationship with Taeyeon back then.

“Thanks oppa. I’m not sure about it yet, so I’m going to look for her now”, I said as I got up to my feet.

“That’s great. Good luck to you then, Yuri”, Yunho and Changmin oppa said and I quickly dashed out to look for Tiffany.

Fany-ah, finally you’re single.

You don’t know how thankful I am to hear this news.

Fany-ah, where are you?

I want to hug you and give you a comfort then I’m going to confess to you.

But, consider back, are you really single?

Back to thinking about what happened between you and Dihoon that night?

Fany-ah, where are you?

I couldn’t find her anywhere. Maybe she needed a time alone for herself.

Fine, I’m giving her a space to think through things then…