DONGHAE

“I thought you said you’d be gone for 2 weeks? It’s been just a week but you’re already here,” mom questioned me as I took a sip of my chocolate shake.

When our private jet landed, we were fetched at the airport by a limousine sent by our family and were brought here in the Lee’s mansion while the driver went to our house to get our luggage in our home. HyukJae and I are still not speaking the entire flight; I settled myself on the back part of the jet while he sat at the front part. Even at the car, we sat at the opposite sides, looking out of our windows, not minding each other. And when we arrived and was welcomed by the entire family, I was pretty sure some of them can feel the tension between the two of us, and I saw Heechul and Sungmin giving me a look of worry.

“Baby,” I heard mother spoke gently and I looked up to see her eyeing me with uncertainty.

“Yes, mom?”

I watched as she sigh and stood up, before she walked towards me and wrap me in her arms and I immediately wrapped my limbs to her waist, inhaling her sweet scent that I missed so much.

“Is something wrong, Hae?” she asked in that soothing voice as I felt her hand rubbing my back in the most comforting manner and I was reminded of the times when I was a kid and would always cry; she always does that to calm my nerves and in some unexplainable manner, it always does put me at ease.

“Mom, I---”

Can I tell her? She’s my mom and she’s always been the best secret keeper; my and Heechul’s. But should I tell her this secret? Should I tell her I am in love with my husband and that I am in pain because he doesn’t feel the same way? Can I tell her that HyukJae can’t love me back because he’s got a girl friend and he is straight? Can I tell her that I want to get divorced as soon as possible? Can I tell her that I want us to go back to New York like this was all part of a nightmare? Do I tell her---Do I tell her that I feel like I am dying inside?

How would she react if I ever spill the beans?

I bet she’d take me away from HyukJae; probably say something like “A guy like him doesn’t deserve you so mommy would take you away.” Or she could just kiss my cheeks tenderly like what she always did whenever I get a scar, because according to her, her kisses had magic healing powers. Or she could talk to dad and tell him what I told her, and then we’d be back in New York in no time. Or---

Can I really leave?

Am I really such a coward that all I ever think about is running away from my problems? Running away from HyukJae? Running away from the heart break?

I think not.

“I met Siwon back at Rome and he asked me to help him with something, so I decided to go back as soon as possible,” I informed her instead.

*

“What happened?”

I wasn’t entirely surprised to find my brother leaning against the wall just across mom’s room and I wasn’t surprised that he’d come asking me of that.

“I missed you so much, hyung,” I replied instead and walked towards him to wrap my arms on his waist and resting my head on his shoulder. I felt my lips smiling a bit as he engulfed me in a hug in return.

“I missed you more,” I heard him whisper. “But, tell me what’s wrong.”

So stubborn.

“What makes you think something’s wrong?”

“Because you’re my brother and I know you too well. So spill,” he informed before he gently pushed me from my shoulder and looked me in the eye, and I looked back.

I smiled at him, “Nothing’s wrong, hyung,” I assured him.

He doesn’t respond, but his eyes are obviously searching for something and I stood my ground, not averting my gaze and my smile constant. And long enough, he sighed in defeat and brought me close again, hugging me with his hands patting my head gently.

“Fine. I’d let you off for now,” he grumbled and I chuckled a bit.

*

“Donghae-ah,” a voice called for me while I was enjoying the heat of the sun on the garden and I looked back to see another person I was expecting to see.

“Sungmin-hyung,” I answered back and smiled at him as he sat down on the ground beside me and turning to look at my direction intently.

“Donghae-ah,” he spoke again and I hummed in response as I closed my eyes to feel the breeze hit my face just as I heard Sungmin-hyung shifting from his position. All of a sudden, arms were wrapped around me from the back and I knew who exactly it was and relaxed as I leaned to rest my back to Sungmin-hyung’s chest.

“I won’t ask because it’s obvious you won’t talk, anyway; judging by the way you dodged Heechul-hyung’s attempt from getting the truth out of you,” Sungmin spoke.

“You’re eavesdropping,” I said and I heard him chuckle.

“It was a coincidence,” he defended.

“You could have walk away,” I answered.

“Well, I couldn’t resist,” he admitted and we both chuckled.

“Donghae-ah.”

“Yes?”

“Could you listen to an advice?”

“…Go on.”

“Instead of having a lot of time to think about things you don’t want to think, why not use your energy into something that you enjoy?” he spoke, and I couldn’t quite understand.

“Your point is?”

He sighed, “My point is, don’t make him the center of everything. A lot of people surely want to get to know you, and it is the best time to let them. And also, do things that you find fun; join a club, write songs or anything just don’t---don’t be like this.”

“Like what?”

“Don’t try to hide the fact that you’re having a hard time, because people who really care about you can tell that you are.”

”Hey!” another voice chimed and we both turned our heads to look at the right and saw a jumping, hyperactive figure running towards us.

“Why are you cuddling with Donghae without inviting me?!” HyunWoo shouted before he jumped and tackled us in the ground.

*

“What did I miss?” I asked Kyuhyun as I sneaked up on him on an early Monday morning, placing a box wrapped in a blue wrapper on his table. Smiling, I watched in pure amusement as he eyed the gift before lifting his eyes to look at me, and he looked too shock it was hard to control the laughter I can feel in my mouth.

“Donghae-hyung!” he shouted and dropped the game console he was so immersed with a while ago as he stood up and hugged me tightly. Laughing, I patted his back a couple of times before he finally decided to let me go and I sat down beside him.

“Anything interesting that happened while I was away?” I asked again, turning my chair in Kyu’s direction as I saw him keep the present in his bag pack without even bothering to open it.

“Well,” he started while he was zipping his bag and turned to face me, “I’m not sure. I wasn’t paying attention the whole week because classes were so boring without you,” he said with a pout and I chuckled, reaching over to ruffle his fluffy hair.

“That’s so sweet. And for the record, I missed you,” I answered, and earned a slight blush from the younger.

“Lee Dong Hae!”

“Ah, I forgot to tell you. Ki Bum was really pissed when you left without a word,” Kyuhyun whispered as we both look at the door of our room, revealing the person he was speaking of and I gave Kyu a slight glare for informing me this late before I placed a smile on my face, turning to look at KiBum.

“Kim Ki Bum!” I shouted playfully, the same manner as he shouted my name and added, “I missed you.”

And it was not long when he sprinted inside the room, and I stood up to spread my arms, expecting a hug from my best friend, but what I got was far from a warm hug; Ki Bum was hitting me with a piece of paper that I yelped from the impact and shielded my head as he continued to do so. Seeing that he won’t be stopping soon from punishing me, I moved away and ran around the room, with him tailing me while shouting things.

“How could you disappear without a word again?!”

“I’m sorry!” I answered, still running.

“You left me for the second time, and you expect me to let this go with just a sorry?!”

“Isn’t that enough?!” I said, feeling a bit tired but kept on running since Bummie is not giving up either.

“Oh no. Not this time!” he shouted back.

“I brought you presents! Lots and lots of presents! If that’s still not enough, I’d go shopping with you!” I said hastily.

“Deal.” I heard my best friend said, and I stopped from my track and peeked back to see Ki Bum smiling brightly at me, his arms wide open and waiting. Reluctantly, I walked towards him and he hugged me, and I returned the favor.

“You are such a bipolar,” I told him.

“You still love me, anyway,” he retorted.

“That I do.”

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PROBABLY IRRELEVANT, BUT STILL I JUST WANTED HAE TO BE FILLED WITH LOVE IN THIS CHAPTER

HOPE YOU DON'T MIND

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