HYUKJAE

"Hey, Hyuk."

I gave a small nod as I made my way across the hall; ready for the day to come to an end. The neverending lectures and presentations have drained the little energy I got from the countless mugs of caffeine I took the night before. Today is the last day of my senior year in college as a Business Management major and I had the last mahor presentation that would determine if I will graduate with honors; my dad has been keeping tabs on my presentation, asking if I wanted any help and my mother has been supportive, even after I moved out of the old house they gave me and opted to stay in the dorms.

Four years.

Seemed like a long time but having my studies and helping my family business, I got by just fine.

*

A lot has happened in the last four years; Sungmin flew to Australia to continue his studies, and his twin flew to Tokyo to intern in the fashion industry. My father continued on to handle the company, with me accompanying him to his trips during my vacation, so that I can learn bit by bit before inheriting. Grandfather had sorted to gardening and we made him a small greenhouse at the backyard of the mansion to keep him preoccupied, he had his monthly check-ups that I gladly accompany him whenever I am not busy. My other cousins have ventured to different fields and are happily successful, too. Kyuhyun is now a junior student in the same university but he is majoring in Electronic engineering. Kibum had flew to England to become an apprentice to a renowned chef, and SIwon soon followed, getting a business scholarship at the same country. And Ji Eun; she gave birth to a baby boy, and after the DNA test, it came out as negative.

It caused such a ruckus.

The day the DNA result came, me and my parents, my grandpa and her parents are all present in the hospital. When the doctor read the result, Ji EUn's dad went all rage and slapped her hard across the face and demanded to know who the bastard got him knock up while her mother turned to us with such shame in her eyes as she apologized to us with tears in her eyes. We left after knowing and a few days later I heard that she was sent to study in the States while her son was left in the care of her parents. I never heard from her, or her family again.

"For this batch of Business Management, we have Mr. Lee HyukJae, valedictorian!"

The sound of loud cheers erupted in the stadium as I made my way to the stage with my parents in tow. After giving a customary bow and receiving my diploma and medal, the dean passed me the microphone to give a short speech. 

"I will keep this short and simple," I started and rounded my shoulders as I tried to look at the crowd. "We do what makes us happy. Now that we are graduates and are venturing to make our own names in the world, I hope that all of you would remember that it is not the money, or the fame that makes us truly happy; it is the people who have been there for us through thick or thin. Thank them everyday, and make them the reason you wake up to be a better version of yourself. Never take them for grandted. Always remind them you love them and you are grateful. Because you'll never know when they'll suddenly won't be around anymore. Congratulations to us and may you all have happy lives."

*

"Haven't we secured the account yet?"

"Not yet, sir. We are trying our best to contact as much people as necesary but I think it won't take long before we got the contract signed."

"Good. What about the extension project in Japan we are planning? How is that faring?"

"So far so good, sir. All the documents needed are already stamped and signed, we just need to double check to our co-investors if they have any questions and the construction can commence."

"Okay. Is that all? Good job everybody, I expect nothing less from you. You may all go back to your stations."

After the people went out of his office, a soft knowck was heard and the kind face of his mother was shown so he gave him a small smile as he stood up to give her a peck on the cheek and leading her to the couch. "Mother, have you been waiting long?"

"Not really, you were obviously busy. How is your day, HyukJae?"

"We've been making progress with that major project dad and I have planned about, and the extension project in Japan is also---"

"I'm asking your day, Hyuk. Not about your work," she repriminded teasingly.

He gave a basful smile and brought a hand to scratch the back of his neck, "Sorry. It's just my work is my life, mom. You know that. It keeps me preoccupied and I love taking care of business and giving dad nothing to worry about."

"I know that and we are proud of you, all of us are. You are handling the company very well. But we are worried, son."

"Worried about what?"

"You haven't been having fun," his mother told him. "You are all about work and at the weekends you spend time at the mansion with us or with your grandpa."

He gave her a playful smirk, "I never knew you don't want me around anymore."

Her melodious laughter filled the empty office as she lightly slapped his knee, "That's not what I mean. We love spending time with you, dear. It's just that you haven't bee out with friends or whatever..." then her eyes landed on his left hand; particularly on his ring finger, "You've never been out on dates."

"Mother."

"I know. I know you love him, Hyuk. And we do too. It is such a shame that your marriage did not work but... don't you think it is time for you to move on from your life? It's been nine years and you've been wearing your ring ever since, Hyukjae, and it is driving away any possible partners for you."

"I dont need a partner. I am doing fine on my own."

"But, darling... You're not happy. And it pains me to see you having no other purpose but to keep the company running. I want to see you settled and happy," she voiced out such concern in her voice that Hyukjae had to look away to avoid her gaze which he was sure was full of worry.

"I am happy, mom. Maybe not in the way you wanted me to be, but I feel alright. I dont need anyone for me; at least not yet. And as for the ring, I am not removing this until I can say it does not mean anything to me. And right now, it still means so much as the day I first wore it. I know it's not healthy, that I am still stuck in the past and these emotions I am not sure that's still reciprocated, but I can move past it in mo own pace. If my heart is ready to let go, I will. But for now, it's still hanging there."

"Hyukjae..."

"It's still hanging, mom. But it is so close to letting go," he admitted with a soft whisper, eyes locked on the ring and he squeezed his hands tight, "Give it time. I am getting there."

Silence passed between them for a few seconds, before her mother gave out a defeated sigh and gave his son a pat on the cheek to make him look up. "Okay, but at least take my advice and get a break. You deserve to get a holiday, even just for a week or two, please. I have already discussed this with your father and he'd be glad to take over for a few weeks so you can rest."

He let out a chuckle, "Of course dad will agree; he'd be happy to fire me from this company if it meant he got to sit on that chair again."

"You know how you father loved that chair," she joked. "A few weeks, Hyuk. I mean it. Get a rest and have a little fun, alright?"

"Okay," he relented with a smile, "Alright, I'll book a ticket right away."

*

"Here's your key and I have my phone number attached at the fridge. You can call me if you have any problems," the caretaker instructed as he put down one of my luggage.

"Thank you, Mr. Cruz," I replied, appreciating the interior of the place. "You have a very lovely interior."

"My wife was the one who designed it," he replied with pride in his eyes, "It may not look much on the outside, with it looking so much like the other structures but we had to abide to that since the owner of the land wanted the houses to look similar, so we just had to make readjustments and just focus on the interior instead."

"That is very brilliant. I am glad I booked this place."

"Yes, well do enjoy your stay here in Macau, Mr. Hyukjae. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call. My wife and I would gladly answer your inquiries."He said then left the house leaving me seating on the couch and take a breath. After much coaxing from my parents, I finally relented and agreed to take a vacation. I was itching to get some work done but even that was taken from me as my mother took my laptop and my work phone, and I was threatened to not even attempt to work while on vacation because they will know. I had difficulty deciding which country to go to, but my father just suggested to not go too far and just visit Macau.

"I'm sure you'll relax there. You've spent quite some time in Macau, and you know your way around. For sure you'll find the happiness and peace you are looking for there," he said with a gentle smile and I guess he was right, so the next day I booked a flight and had my things ready. And here I am now.

"Well, I should probably go and explore."

*

Macau is as lively and serene as I remembered from my childhood. We have visited this place frequently since grandpa had a very good friend living here, the one who I cant remember the name. The streets were bustling with people even if it's way close to midnight already, and a lot of kids are running around with their friends. It was nice; being surrounded by this noise and the merriment of other people. In the mornings I would get up before sunrise and have a quick jog, before grabbing pastries from a nearby bakery I discovered. I made friends with the old lady who owned the bakery, and some kids from the neighborhood I was staying at was also very accomodating and their parents are very nice too, so at some days when I jog, the kids would accompany me.

Some days I would board the bus and just go anywhere and everywhere, looking out the window to bask in the sunlight and enjoy the whip of the soft breeze coming from the open window. It's been so long since I've felt this relax and it's reviving.

Some nights, when I wanted a quiet evening to myself, I'd buy a bottle of wine and just watch movies by myself while I twirl my drink, and my eyes would catch the glint of gold reflecting from the glass and I'll be reminded just how alone I am... How much I wish Donghae's with me. But I am getting better at limiting it now. I love him still, yes...but I am getting better at hoping there'd be and us again. My fingers slowly slipping away from that hope. I've clung for too long.

*

A week in Macau, something happened.

Diego, one of the neighborhood kids I befriended fell on a tree he was climbing and badly injured his leg. I was sitting on the bench nearby when it happened and I ran towards him as he cried, lying on the ground wailing that his leg hurts.

"I think it's broken. Shhh, hush now, Diego, we'll get you to the hospital, where's your mama?"

"She---she's getting Mari from day care," he sniffed. "I climbed cause---cause I can see them better from up there and --- it hurts," he whimpered.

"Please call his parents," I said to one of the natives who was familiar with me, "do you know the closest hospital here?"

After receiving instruction I nodded, "Diego, I am going to lift you...it might hurt but I need you to be a big boy and bear with the pain for a bit, okay? I will bring you to the hospital," after a shaky nod from him, I carefully lifted him and got him in the rental car before speeding away in the closest hospital. 

When I arrived at the emergency, a pair of nurse looked at me with Diego in my arms crying and they quickly had a stretched and I gingerly placed Diego on it while the other nurse interviewed me for what happened. After answering her questions, she ushered me to the waiting area and went on to call for a doctor. As I sat on one of the chairs, I let my head rest on my hands and ruffled my hair. A little while a tap on my shoulder startled me and saw it was the same nurse who rushed Diego to the treatment room.

"Are you the father of the patient?"

"Oh no, I'm his neighbor but I already had his parents contacted and they're probably on the way here," I answered. "How's Diego?"

He gave a kind smile, "Diego is fine. The X-ray showed no broken bones, he just dislocated his leg from his hip but that was already taken care of."

In that moment, Diego's mother, with Mari in her arms barged in and saw me with worry in her eyes, "Mr.Lee," she gasped. "How is---my son..."

"He's okay, Mrs. Sanchez, the nurse just told me it was just dislocation," I informed her. "You can go in if you want, I can take Mari and get some drinks then we'll follow you," I offered, as Mari already reaching for me and I gladly took her.

"I am sorry for all the trouble, Mr. Lee," she said after giving her a nod she left with the nurse and I turned my attention to the little girl in my arms. "Do you want some ice cream, Mari?"

*

Walking with Mari holding my hand and my other hand holding the carrier for coffee, we made our way to the emergency room. It was nearly 6 in the evening and the place is a bit desserted save for a few patients resting or chatting with their relatives and the nurses and doctors talking at the nurses' station. As Mari and I reached the closed curtain where Diego's bed is situated, I can hear Mrs. Sanchez talking to the, presumably, doctor as she asked the medications and all else. Thinking it's okay to interrupt, I let go of Mari's hand to move aside the curtain.

"We'll have to keep Diego for at least the night, at least util the anesthesia I gave him earlier are gone, then I'll re-wrap his bandage and give you the medicine he'll need to drink for a week. Just make sure he gets a lot of rest, and not to move around a lot. It may not be serious, but straining it could prolong his recovery," the doctor said with a kind tone...

"You..."

Mrs. Sanchez looked up when I spoke, and so did the doctor.

"Donghae."

Wide brown eyes stared at me in shock, those beautiful eyes that enchanted me...

I love him still, yes...but I am getting better at hoping there'd be and us again. My fingers slowly slipping away from that hope. I've clung for too long.

"Hyukjae."

Hearing my name spoken by his sweet voice again, I felt that imaginary hand that's about to let go tighten it's grip again. 

I'm not letting go.

I'm not letting you now that I've found you.

*****

SORRY FOR THE BIG TIME SKIP.

ANYWAYS, HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS.

PS. NOT EDITED. SORRY.