NOT PROOFREAD
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DONGHAE
"So, how is school, Hae?" Heechul asked as we were having our dinner. The long table was full since everyone started coming to the Lee mansion, and it seemed that they are all aware of Jong Suk's return so we are having a little family gathering.
Distractedly, I looked up at my brother, "Oh? it's fine. I joined clubs," I replied before I returned my attention to cutting my steak. My brows are furrowed as I tried making a little noise with my utensils as I having a little difficulty cutting the meat. Suddenly, a hand appeared and took my plate, and a new one was placed in front of me; the steak already in small pieces. I turned my head to my right and smiled at HyukJae, who returned it as he started cutting his new plate.
"What clubs?" A question was thrown at me, and I looked to see Jong Suk across me, looking expectant.
"The singing club and the soccer team," I smiled at him.
"That's wonderful, honey. I'm glad you're enjoying your school," mother spoke.
"How about studies?" Dad piqued.
"It's---"
"DongHae's a nerd, uncle. I heardfrom a friend that he answered some badass equation in his calculus and he did it without a sweat. You don't have to worry about Hae's grades at all," HyukJae answered, looking at my father's direction with a smile.
Dad smiled back, obviously pleased with that piece of information HyukJae gave him.
"What about your grades, Hyukjae?" Sungmin suddenly asked, his voice laced with teasing. I looked at Hyukjae but he was busy glaring at his cousin to notice.
"Oh, stop teasing your cousin, Sungmin," HyukJae's mother said, "I'm sure Hyukjae's passing with his constant B minuses," she ended and chuckled; so are the people on the table.
"Mom!" Hyukjae whined a bit, glaring at his mother who rolled her eyes at his son before he resumed eating.
The noise died down after a few minutes,but then HyunWoo started speaking, "Well, aren't you lucky to have such a cute and smart wife, HyukJae?"
Another round of chuckles resounded as Hyuk and I avoided each other's gaze, looking down on our own plate.
"Eh? You're not denying it?" Min Ho-hyung pointed out and the whole table was silent again; I can feel their eyes on the two of us.
"So---you admit it?" SeunGi-hyung added, then there was silence again.
"Hey, Hyukjae, do you love DongHae?" Jung Woo-hyung said, and this time I looked up, surprised at seeing their expectant faces, waiting for Hyukjae's answer.
"Guys," I said in a soft tone, trying to control the situation since this might make HyukJae uncomfortable. "Let's just---"
"So what if I do?" HyukJae suddenly spoke, and I turned my attention to him as he slowly raised his head, his face with a serious expression. "I love Donghae. Is it wrong to love my own wife?"
*
"Hey, DongHae?" Hyukjae asked as we stopped right outside our house.
"Yeah?"
"About what I said earlier, I---"
"Oh, no worries. I know you didn't mean it," I answered, lifting my head and meeting his gaze. Flashing a toothless smile, I didn't wait for his response as I released my seatbelt and went out the car.
I am getting pretty good at this; hiding it hurts and pretending it doesn't matter, even if it does. It gravely does. When those words left his mouth, those sweet words I ever wanted to hear, I knew they didn't have meaning because that's all that it is; just words. It doesn't hold any meaning, nor any emotion; it was just uttered to ease the minds of the people who's got that image of Hyukjae and I as husband and wife. He just said that so that they wouldn't have to worry. It was just acting. Aren't we doing this right from the beginning anyway; putting up an act in front of those who knows we're married? So, of course, it includes those words too. I love you's and endearments are natural for married couples. And we are married, even if it's just on paper. We are expected to act the way normal couples do, say words that supposed to be easy to say.
From then til now, everything was just an act. And nothing changed.
Nothing, not until feelings got involved. When someone started assuming; started hoping. When someone wanted more; do more and hear more. When a certain someone fell. And we all knew that that someone is not HyukJae.
It's kind of ridiculous how this act started stirring up something inside me. It's pathetic, really.
I've watched movies that had this kind of scenario; having one-sided feelings. And everytime I watch those scenes, I remember how pissed of I'd be because that person is just hoping for nothing and was just hurting himself more. In other words, that person loving someone who's got someone else is stupid. Crazy. Idiot. Moron. Dimwit. Fool. Lunatic.
Pitiful.
But now that I am in that situation, I can only laugh at myself; because now, I am all those words. I never knew it was this hard, to be honest. I thought it was a piece of cake to get over someone and look for someone new. Well, I really didn't have that much of relationships to know what it felt like. But now---now I understood. I understood that person in the movies; that one who love's someone one-sidedly. I can now relate how he'd be there for that person, even if that person wanted someone else to be there for him. I can understand how he'd keep it in, even if it's too much already. I can grasp the concept of hiding his feelings, because the other doesn't feel the same and will never be the same as his. I can fathom how that person would just be there in the sidelines, watching his love one be happy in someone else's arms. I can apprehend how that person still smiles and laughs despite the heartache. I can feel how that someone really loved that person.
And as much as I understand, the more clear I can see how pitiful I am.
I pity myself, because even if it hurts, I'm still here.
I pity myself, because even if it's too much, I still love him.
"DongHae?" HyukJae called out from the living room as I was looking in the fridge; fishing out a carton of chocolate and strawberry milk.
"Yes?" I replied, making my way to the living room and handed Hyukjae his drink.
"I was thinking, do you want to go fishing tomorrow?"
"Fishing?" I asked, after taking a slurp from my straw, casting Hyukjae a curious look.
"Yep. I know this place and it's great; it's peaceful and has a lot of fresh air," he explained, looking forward as he drank his milk.
Well, it doesn't sound like a bad idea, actually.
"Sure. What time are we leaving?" I asked, making my way towards the stairs.
"Around 9, I guess," he said.
"Okay. Good night," I responded, walking up the flight of stairs.
"See you, Hae. Night."
*
"Aren't we supposed to have a worm as a bait?"
"Pft. Of course not, trust me," Hyukjae answered arrogantly, trying to look something in his bag while his left hand was holding the hook. He said to trust him, but the tone he's using doesn't sound trustable enough, so I just chose to watch him cautiously, waiting for him to admit that he doesn't know a single thing he's doing right now.
We left the house at 10 in the morning, since a certain primate kept on leaving things we, apparently, needed. And I wondered why a skate board is needed when we are on a boat; at a lake, for crying out loud.
"Ha! Got it!" A shout made me focus my attention back on this certain person seating on the boat with me as he wore that triumphant smile on his lips and his hand holding what he's been looking for; fish crackers.
"You have got to be kidding me," I said, exasperated and face palming myself.
"What?"
"That's your bait? Seriously?"
"Yes, it is," he said with conviction that doesn't match the mood.
"Fish crackers? Hyukjae, we're catching fish and you're using crackers as a bait?" I asked again.
"DongHae, it's not as if this is actually made of fish. Duh? That would be cannibalism," he replied haughtily, rolling his eyes as he hooked the cracker and threw the string on the water, with a content smile.
"I'm not stupid. I knew that," I answered, stretching my arms as I watched the calm waters. "I bet you wouldn't catch a fish."
"Oh, betting now, are we? Game on. I say I'd catch a fish in 10 minutes."
"You won't catch one even if we stay here all day," I replied, bored as I started touching the cool water with my fingers, creating ripples.
"What if I did catch one?" He asked.
"If you catched one, I'd be your slave," I responded boredly, still looking at the vast expanse of the water.
"Deal."
.
.
.
.
Not ten minutes after that,
he caught one.
*
I clicked my tongue as I dropped the woods I've been picking up around and slumped down next to HyukJae who is busy cooking the fishes he caught; and yes, I said fishes becuase this monkey actually caught four. Getting my handkerchief from my pocket, I wiped the sweat trailing down my face before leaning back, with my arms as support.
"Tired?" Hyukjae asked, putting down the stick he's using to poke the cooking fish under the fire we had a hard time building up.
"I wouldn't be, if you didn't made me do that," I huffed, looking up at the sky with a lot of stars littering it.
"You lost, so bare the consequences. And you should be thankful, I cooked us dinner," he said proudly, getting the finished food and placing it on the plates he prepared before he served it to me. I eyed the plate warily, not really trusting this person's cooking skills.
"This isn't poisoned?"
He frowned and placed the plate away from me in which I eventually took and smiled at him playfully. "I'm just eating this because I am incredibly hungry and we have nothing else to eat in this forest," I declared before putting a piece of the fish in my mouth.
"Yeah, yeah, if you say so," he scoffed before getting his own portion.
As we ate the food he prepared, we started engaging to comfortable conversations; talking about anything and everything. I liked it better this way; HyukJae and DongHae talking like close friends. And not HyukJae and DongHae who are married; but only one is in love. This is better, and I hope this day wouldn't end. We laughed and hit each other a few times because of some silly comments, and there was a time we even started running around our little bonfire, running around in circles just like a couple of little kids. Not until we ran towards the lake, and started splashing each other with water and in no time, we are both drenched; but we don't really care because we are having fun and our face might be torn in two from laughing and smiling too much. When we felt tired from our childish game, we headed back to our little camp, the bonfire already dying out and that's when we decided we'd be heading home.
I was folding the blankets and HyukJae was carrying the picnic basket when he started opening talking.
"Hey, DongHae?"
"Yeah?" I asked, as we started walking towards our car, the lights coming from it clearing our path since it's already dark.
"About yestarday, what I said---"
"I told you it's okay. It doesn't matter because---"
"It does," he cut me off and I felt him stopping his tracks, so I paused too and looked at him, only to find his eyes on me; watching me with that look I can't point out.
"What?" I asked.
"What I said yesterday," he started, and slowly walked towards me and instinctly, I started walking backwards. "Those words...they matter." He said lowly, and I watched him with careful eyes as I continued walking backwards, not really seeing where I am heading, but it was away from the car, and our surrounding are starting to get a bit dim from the poor lighting. "They matter," he repeated as my back touched a tree, trapping me as Hyukjae was suddenly in front of me and I stopped myself from letting out a surprised gasp. I looked up at his eyes, not clearly seeing what his eyes show because it was a bit dark since we came astray from the direction of the car's lights.
"You're not making sense, HyukJae," I finally spoke, thanking the heavens for not stuttering, "I know and you know you didn't mean it and---"
There was a thud as he dropped the picnic basket and his hand was right above my head, and he leaned in a bit closer, our nose almost touching that I looked away because his eyes---it feels as of he's undressing me.
"What if," he started as his other hand grabbed my chin and forced me to meet his eyes, "What if I meant it?" he ended and pressed his lips to mine, my eyes automatically closing and my heart was beating crazily I sweat I can hear it. My hands was in between our chest with the blanket I was clutching, creating a small space between our bodies as I felt a hand going down at my nape and angling my head as he made the kiss deeper.
Soon, he parted our lips, both of us panting as he refilled our oxygen, our eyes on each other. Then, he threw away the blanket I was holding before he slammed his lips back to mine again. I felt both his hands rubbing my arms and guided it around his neck, in which I wrapped around him and his hands flew down to my waist; our bodies closer than before as we kissed like there's no tomorrow. Not knowing how it happened, my feet was no longer touching the ground. HyukJae was lifting me up with his arms, my hands tugging his hair as we kissed and my legs automatically wrapping around his waist as he leaned me back on the tree, his arms still around me. I don't know how long it lasted, but for the second time, we parted for air. But HyukJae didn't just took in air. He started kissing my neck, and occassionally, I'd feel something wet and I arched my back, with my head turning up as he on my collar bone. If it wasn't for the fact that he's practically carrying me, my legs probably would have given out from this sudden rush feeling; because damn, it felt good. Getting impatient, I let my hands cup his face and brought it back to my lips. But he let go too soon.
He stared at me, and I stared back. Our chest are rising up and down, breaths irregular and our hair disheveled.
"Hae," he said with that husky voice that send shiver down my spine.
I didn't respond as I can't trust my voice right now, so I hummed in reply. He pecked my lips, before he went to my ear, the lobe and me shuddering as he tighten his hold around me, and I did the same before he uttered the next words.
"I think I might be in love with you."
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AGAIN. THIS WILL BE ON HIATUS. SORRY.
HOPE YOU LIKED IT.
AND I HOPE YOU'D WAIT FOR ME.
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LOVELOTS <3
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