DONGHAE

"What were you doing at school at that hour, anyway?" I asked HyukJae as he happily ate the food I cooked for us.

He looked at me first, with his mouth full of rice and brought up a hand to signal for me to wait. I watched amusedly as he chewed fast and swallowed the food in his mouth before he smiled and answered, "Do you even need to ask? Of course I am fetching my lovely wife."

Then there come the blush.

"I like it when you blush," he chuckled and I glared at him before I focused my eyes on my own food.

"Hey did you know that we'd be having a field trip tomorrow?" HyukJae happily informed me, scooping more rice and placing a big amount of meat in his plate and I looked at him with disgust.

"I know. And you eat like a pig, HyukJae. How on earth do you manage to stay this skinny but eat like you haven't seen food for a month?" I commented and he just rolled his eyes at me as he took in a spoonful of rice once again, while I was already done with mine.

"You're just jealous because I am y and you're fat," Hyuk uttered but I heard it.

"What did you say?" I said.

He looked up at me with innocent eyes, "I didn't say anything."

But my glared at him more, "Did you honestly just called me fat?"

"And so what if I did?" he answered teasingly.

I stood up from my chair, went up to my room and locked it.

And then I let my angry mask pull off as I went towards my bed and slumped down, my eyes b with tears as the event from earlier this evening replayed in my head. Those words IU uttered, her disgusted eyes, her threat--- everything just felt so unreal. How could I get a taste of happiness in a second then vanish at the next? I would rather not have felt it at all because now it hurts even more. It hurts. It hurts more than the time I realized I loved him. It hurts more than that time he introduced her to me. It hurts more than that time he kissed me in Rome. It hurts---it just hurts and I wanted it to go away.

If only it could be easy. If only mending a broken heart is as easy as fixing a broken string from a guitar. If only I could just detach the damaged string and change it with a new one. If only it was as easy as that then I wouldn't have to get hurt so badly. If only it were that easy---

"DongHae?" HyukJae's voice from the other side of the door sounded and he knocked softly before I heard him sigh. I stayed silent, feigning sleep because I really really don't want to face him right now. "Hey, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean it. I was just kidding."

I still didn't utter a single word, but I just closed my eyes and pretended I wasn't hearing his voice---his warm, velvet voice.

"Come on, Hae. Open the door. I want to sleep beside you," HyukJae's voice was pleading now and he knocked again. I shut my eyes tighter and curled my hands around the sheets of my bed to prevent me from standing and opening the door and pull HyukJae inside my room.

A few more seconds passed, and I heard a sigh. "I'm really sorry if I upset you. Good night, Hae. Sweet dream," then I heard footsteps and another door opening and closing. When silence ensued I open my eyes and lied on my back, releasing the sheets I clutched tightly and let out a heavy sigh. Staring at the ceiling of my room, I let another tear escape my eye before I forced myself to sleep.

*

I left the house earlier than usual. I did it just to avoid HyukJae.

Walking inside the deserted school, I sat near the fountain and wait until the bus for today's field trip would arrive. An hour passed and the school was already packed with students at the same level as me excitedly mounting the bus and I stood up from my position to go to my respective bus number. I saw KiBum and was about to call out for him so we could sit together but I saw Siwon talking to him so I stopped myself. Silently praying that whatever they're talking about will not result to violence, I took a few steps back until I felt like I bumped into someone so I immediately spun around to apologize.

"I'm so sorry," then I looked up and saw YunHo smiling down at me.

"It's quite alright. I was just looking for you," he told me.

"Why?"

"Well, I was wondering if we could sit together in the bus?" YunHo asked with a smile, and when I was about to answer my eyes landed on a couple of kids on the way to the other bus, then it landed on HyukJae and IU walking hand in hand. He was smiling at her and they were talking about something and it hurts so I immediately looked away when I saw HyukJae looking at my direction.

"Hey, are you okay?" I heard YunHo asked.

"Yeah. We could sit together," I told him and he smiled brightly before he caught my hand and dragged me inside our bus.

I let my eyes wander around the bus and I caught KiBum's questioning eyes, and beside him was a curious Siwon. I just smiled at him before YunHo let me sit in the window side 2 chairs away from Bummie and Siwon. I saw KyuHyun at the very back of the bus, a PSP in his hand and with earphones on so I let out a chuckle how that kid always have a game console in his hand.

"Are you joining the practice for soccer this evening after the fieldtrip?" YunHo suddenly asked from beside me and I reverted my gaze back to him.

"Why do we have practice? Aren't we all going to be tired for today's activities?" I asked curiously.

"Well, we're preparing for a competition two days from now and we need all the help we could get," he smiled at me.

I gave it a thought before answering, "I'm not sure if I could come tonight but I'll see what I can do," I answered and he nodded in understanding before the bus started moving. "How long will it take for us to reach the amusement park?"

"Around 1-2 hours, I suppose. You could sleep if you want, I'll wake you up when we get there," he offered and I told him a thank you before I let my eyes drop and rest my head on the window. But a hand was on the side of the cheek and guided my head to a sturdy shoulder and I quickly opened my eyes and looked at YunHo's smiling face. "You'd hit your head if we passed a hump, so it better if you lay your head on my shoulder. Besides it's much more comfortable, am I right?"

I chuckled at his tactics but let my head rest on his shoulder and closed my eyes once again.

*

"DongHae," I heard a voice calling out for me softly but my eyes stayed shut, still wanting to sleep.

"Hey, DongHae."

But I remained unmoving. I don't want to go. I want to sleep and just be lazy and just---

Suddenly I felt lips landing on my cheek and my eyes flew open. I sat down straight and looked to my right to find YunHo still seated beside me with an apologetic smile on his face.

"I--I'm so sorry I was just---"

A cough was heard from the front of the bus and we both turned out heads to that direction only to find Hyukjae staring back at us. No, let me rephrase that. Glaring at us.

"The teachers are waiting for you two," he uttered in a low voice before he went out of the bus. And so, YunHo and I followed.

The place was simply amazing. Not wasting another second, I looked for KiBum and Siwon and spotted them at the corner of the ticket booth and I waved at them.

"Guys!" I shouted happily like a kid and the two turned to look at me, and so did the other students before I reached my two friends. "Oh my god, oh my god, I want to try the roller coaster and the ferris wheel, and---and---!" I told them giddily.

KiBum chuckled at me before he ruffled my hair, "Calm down you big baby. We'll try all of it, alright?" he told me sweetly.

"Yeah, then we could even play at the arcade," Siwon told next and KiBum shot him a short glare before he turned to smile back at me.

"Have you seen our little brat, Hae?" He asked me.

"Hey, I heard that," KyuHyun appeared out of nowhere with his psp on his right hand and a two tickets on his other hand.

"Why so sensitive? I never said it was you I was looking for," KiBum smirked and Kyu glared at him before the younger turned to face me.

"Let's go, Hae-hyung. Let's get inside," Kyu grabbed my hand.

"Hey! Why'd you get him tickets and you didn't get mine?!" KiBum whined.

"Let your prince charming get it for you," Kyu stuck his tongue out before he gave the tickets to the staff of the park and we were inside in a minute.

"Let's ride that one first. Let's go!"

But I pulled him to a stop and he turned to look at me with confused eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Aren't we supposed to wait for Bummie and Siwon before we play? We could all play together," I told him but he just chuckled.

"Hyung, you are so dense. I know something's going on between those two idiots and it's pretty obvious the horse-face wanted to make it up to KiBum. So, let them have fun by themselves and we," he added before he whispered in my ear, "will spy them."

When he stood up properly, he had that evil smirk on his lips and I chuckled. "You really are a brat."

"Hyung," he resulted to whine like a kid that made me laugh more before something caught his eye behind me and he dragged me to hide behind a big mascot. "There they are. We shouldn't let them see us, okay, hyung?"

I watched as KiBum and Siwon entered the park at the same time, KiBum obviously looking for us while Siwon looking down at KiBum's hand; he obviously wanted to hold Bummie's hand. Aish, Choi Siwon, you coward.

"Kyu, can't we just leave them alone?" I turned to face the younger and I was surprised to see that he was holding a telescope on his right hand. "Where'd you get that?"

"I brought it. And we can't leave them alone, where is the fun in that?"

"But I want to go and try all the rides," I pouted at him and he looked down at me and sighed.

"You---aish, fine. We'll just follow them for 30 minutes then we'll try all the rides you want. Is that okay?" And I happily nodded.

*

"Aaaaaah! I'm going to die!!!" KyuHyun shouted beside me while I laughed happily and raised my hands up as the ride twirled once again. This was like the 7th ride we tried after secretly following KiBum and SiWon.

When the ride ended, I can't stop laughing while Kyu was holding the railing with his right hand supporting his head.

"Let's try that again!" I told him but hi immediately shook his head and walked like drunkard towards a bench where he lied down.

"Kyu? Are you sick?" I asked him.

"No--I'm," then he started, "just dizzy. You could go ahead. I'll just cool off here," he said with a small, forced smile.

"But you're---"

"No, hyung. Just go and have fun, alright? I'll call you if I'm not dizzy anymore," he said with a stern tone so I reluctantly left him and started walking around, looking for something interesting to do. Then, I felt someone pat my shoulder and I turned to find YunHo smiling at me.

"Hi there, are you lost?" he joked.

"Very funny, YunHo. What are you doing? Where are your friends?" I asked him and he just shrugged.

"What about yours?" he asked in return.

"Bummie's with Siwon and Kyu is resting so I'm looking around," I answered.

"Well, then, is it okay if I join you?"

"Sure. Where do you want to go?"

He looked deep in thought for a moment before he snapped his fingers, "Have you tried the hunted house?" he asked with a gleam of hope in his eyes.

"Nope. Is it fun?"

"Yup. Let's go?" he offered and I nodded in agreement.

*

It wasn't scary at first to be honest. But I stayed close to YunHo since it was a bit dark. And now and then I would jump when something appeared out of nowhere or I'd clutch YunHo's shirt from behind and he'd just look back and smile at me before he lead us towards the exit.

But as we got near to the exit, a rumble of thunder was heard that gave me Goosebumps and the fast thumping of my heart and then I let out a whimper and closed my eyes. But another one was heard, and this time it was louder than the previous one that I ended up wrapping my arms tightly around YunHo's waist and he jumped in surprise from my action. I held him close, as he continued walking towards the end of the freaking maze, my eyes tightly shut before I felt light behind my eye lids. Slowly, I opened my eyes and found YunHo's worried face looking at me, but still afraid of what happened, I hid my face in his chest, until the shock would leave my body. I was trembling, and I felt a pair of arms wrapping around my waist, rubbing my back soothingly while I heard YunHo whispered reassuring words and apologies in my ear.

Then, we heard another pairs of feet from a distance and a gasp. I was pulled away from YunHo by a sturdy hand and I looked back to see HyukJae glaring at me, then at YunHo before he took my hand in his and started dragging me who knows where.

"Hyuk---HyukJae, stop. Where are you---I said stop!" I told him, trying to free myself from his firm grip but he ignored my protests and walked forward until we reached the ferris wheel and he pushed me inside, before he went in and closed the door and we're going up in a steady pace.

He was staring---no, glaring at me and I looked back curiously.

"Hyukjae, what are you---"

"You! How could you!" He suddenly shouted, and pointed at me that made me speechless. "How could you go and hug people like that, huh?! How the hell could you flirt with someone else when you know you're freaking married to me?!"

Finally understanding where this came from, I felt anger streaming in my system.

"I was just teasing you last night and then you got mad at me and didn't forgive me, but now you're going round and round with different guys, clinging to them and showing that innocent face of yours so you could flirt to them?! What the flipping hell, DongHae!"

Enough.

"You," I started, my voice trembling but I in a deep breath because I can't be weak now. Not now, "You have no right to accuse me of things I never did."

"Oh, so you didn't let another guy kiss your cheek? Or you didn't let another guy hold your hand? You didn't let that freaking YunHo hold you so tight?" he spoke with pure sarcasm.

"I was---"

"Don't you deny it, DongHae! I saw it with my eyes! You were holding him, you let him kiss you. Don't you dare lie to me!"

"That's it," I said, fed up with all this pointless words he's throwing at me. How dare he say those words to me? How dare he?! "You think you have the right to say those to me right now, HyukJae? Do you really think it was me who's wrong here? Do you honestly think I was cheating on you? Then what about you and IU, huh? What about how you hold her hand, how you kiss her, hug her or say sweet things to her? How about those times you spent time with her instead of me? How about that?"

He glared at me before he said, "But she was my girl friend first before I was married to you!"

And my heart stopped beating.

How ruthless of him to say that.

How could he say that right in front of me when he is fully aware of how much I love him?

How could he---

I let out a chuckle at the back of my throat and looked down. Then there was silence around us. It was getting hard to breath, and I can feel tears threatening to fall but I held it in. I looked up once again and asked the question that's been bothering me lately.

"Hyukjae, if I asked you to choose---me or IU, who would you pick?" I asked, looking straight into his eyes and I watched as he looked surprise from the question. He but his lower lip, avoiding my eyes but I waited for an answer.

I waited.

And waited.

Until the ferris wheel reached the bottom again, and the door was opened. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath before I opened my eyes again.

So this is his answer.

Of course.

I never should have hoped of something that would never happen.

So, I looked forward and started walking. I walked past him and opened the door and continued walking forward, until my feet started walking faster, and faster until I was running. I was running and I can feel my vision blurring---either because of how the wind was passing my face or because of the tears flowing down. I don't know. I don't know anymore.

All I know is that I need to get away from here.

From him.

Because it hurts.

I feel nothing---nothing but pain.