A loud ring came into my dreams suddenly. I shifted around with my eyes shut tightly. The ring didn’t stop. Maybe if I open my eyes it’ll stop. Slowly I open my eyes and the ringing stop suddenly. It worked!

As my eyes were fully opened, I saw a figure sitting at the end of my feet, looking at me. Junhyung.

“Why are you still here?” I said dangerously and sat up.

He looked innocent for a moment, looking for an answer.

“You don’t want me here anymore?” he said.

“You’re going to leave me anyway right? Why not get lost now?” I glared at him. He pouted slightly, not daring to look at my eyes. I was staring at him, just waiting for him to say something. My anger started to fade and being replaced by worry and sadness when he suddenly start to disappear. Slowly turning into air- if that’s even possible.

“Junhyung! No no! Come back! Please come back! I didn’t mean it… Junhyung come back!” I begged tears rolling down my cheeks like the Niagara Falls. I moved around the bed, feeling around the mid air for his presence but he’s not there.

“Junhyung….. come back….. Come back please….” I cried into my palms. Not even a goodbye? Why are you so evil Junhyung..

I walked slowly towards the cafeteria. My tears won’t stop flowing. Some patients that walked passed me turned to look at me. They don’t care if someone shouts for no reason or laughing happily alone. What they don’t see often is people crying. The mental hospital is known to be a happy place for everyone. All the people here are always happy or angry for no reason. If you’re crying, there must be something wrong with you. And this is a place where everyone is being dumped to for being ‘something wrong’. How ironic.

I got my food, went to my usual place and sat down. I looked around once more like a lost puppy. Still no sign of Junhyung. I sobbed sadly and picked on my food. Out of nowhere a guy sat infront of me. I looked up with my teary eyes and he smiled.

“Are you okay?” he asked. He doesn’t seemed crazy but neither am I but I still end up as one of the patients.

I shook my head with a pout.

“Who made you sad?” he asked, tilting his head to the side.

“Why do you care?” I said suddenly sounding very angry. Maybe I am turning crazy.

“Can’t I?”

“No. Just mind your own business because you’re nowhere near as sane as the rest of them here,” I said and started eating slowly.

He laughed. “You thought I was one of the patients huh? Don’t you see my uniform is different although its white?”

I frowned slightly and looked at his uniform. It is indeed different. And he has a name tag unlike the patients here. Is he one of the workers?

“I’m one of the male nurses here. I’m new,” he said.

“Nurses can’t eat with the patients,” I said simply.

“They won’t. Not that they can’t.” I didn’t reply. Why should I make a conversation with him? I just want Junhyung back.

“So what made you sad? I saw you crying eversince you stepped out of your room,” he said. I just continued eating.

He sighed. “I guess you don’t want to talk to me huh. I’m Daniel by the way.” I don’t care.

I ate quickly and went back to my room waiting for the time for me to take the pills. Daniel was left there eating alone. I know he seemed disappointed but I’m not the one who asked him to eat with me.

I sat on my bed, cross legged, staring on the white bedsheet. Is Junhyung really not coming back? Why did he leave so suddenly? I know that’s definitely not the angels taking him. He just disappeared on his own will like he always do. But he always comes back. Now he doesn’t. Tears started to fall again and I don’t even bother to wipe them away. I think this is going to be my life from now on.

5 days had passed and all I did was cry. I couldn’t survive even 5 minutes without Junhyung. What’s more 5 days. Its amazing I’m still breathing and not blind yet.

I walked around like a zombie, sometimes looking around again for Junhyung and cry again like a baby when I don’t find him. Daniel tried to talk to me again and again but I just ignored him. I don’t need him. I just need Junhyung.

Some of the nurses also got worried seeing me cry all day and tried to ask me what was wrong. But they were cautious unlike Daniel. Once I didn’t answer, they stopped trying.

I rarely get any sleep because everytime I close my eyes all I see is Junhyung. Once I tried to reach out for him but failed. He’s just an illusion in my mind now.

1 week passed. Its my time with Heather again. The only difference now is, I don’t look forward to it anymore. Sure I like Heather. But like Junhyung once said, she has a life outside this hospital. I’m just a patient. So to compare Heather and Junhyung, I rather lose Heather than Junhyung. Enough said.

Heather looked at me with concern as I just sat infront of her, looking out of the window blankly.

“Yoseob-ah.. Are you okay? Some of the nurses told me that you’ve been crying a lot the past few days. What happened?” she asked.

I shook my head. “Nothing.”

“Come on. You can tell me. Did Junhyung do something to you?” she asked.

I stayed silent for awhile. “He left.”

“Left? Left where?” she asked confused.

“Poof” I said softly as I used both my hands to describe an effect similar to a fairy disappearing into dust in movies.

“Heather, do you have a pen?” I asked as Heather seemed to have kept quiet and just looked at me.

“Yeah. Do you need it?” she asked. I nodded. She gave me her pen and I scrutinized it closely on my finger.

“If this tip, goes into here-“ I said, pointing to the side of my neck, “can I die?” I turned to her innocently.

Her eyes blinked several times, not believing what she was hearing. She took the pen away from me quickly even though I didn’t do anything with it.

“Yoseob, you can’t commit suicide. There’s more to life. Life is too precious to be ended just like that,” she said.

I scoffed. “More to life? Like what? Even if I’m reported ‘already sane’, where am I supposed to go? My parents don’t want me anymore. They’ve probably started a new life without me. I don’t have Junhyung. Might as well I just die and join him right?” I said. Heather pursed her lips and shook her head slightly.

“Actually, eversince Junhyung left, I’m already dead. There’s no more life in me Heather.”

My gawddd I miss this fic so muchhhh TT_TT

So Junhyung's gone. And Yoseob wants to die. :'(