Dara:

“That’s what you get from singing all night long, unnie.” 

“Sorry, CL-roo, I really wish you and Minji were there.”

“Us, too. Bom unnie said your noraebang experience with the oppas was a blast, except for Jiyong oppa's driving mishap. She was a little pissed about it.”

”A part of it was Dara’s fault! I looked like a freak when he swerved all of a sudden, even Seunghyun and Dong-wook couldn’t get over it!”

I couldn’t help but laugh upon hearing Bom’s voice in the background as Chaerin and I talked on the phone. The noraebang experience we had, indeed, was fun. We sang our hearts out, uncaring of how we’d sound like the next day. According to Dong-Wook, the total number of songs we sang (solo, duet, groups) equated to a week’s worth of YG family concert. I think he was just exaggerating, but boy what he said couldn’t be any more true. My throat was sore the morning after.

“I heard the ride on the way to the nearest noraebang was kind of unforgettable, though,” Chaerin said mischievously, fully getting my attention once again. “Someone’s holding someone’s hand for the entire ride.”

“Wh-who-wha-what --“ I was stuttering, and Chaerin chuckled at this. I was sure that nobody saw what Jiyong and I were doing!

“Relax, unnie. It’s not like you’re doing something illegal.”

”Yeah, it wasn’t!” I could hear practically singing in the background.

“Where’s Minji, anyway?”

“Changing the topic, I see.”

“No, I’m serious,” My voice was even, and I was already blushing as I tried my best to avoid talking about anything related to Jiyong. “Where is she?” 

“Oh,” Chaerin said, her voice sounding a little bit airy all of a sudden. There was a pause on the other line as Chaerin hesitated for a second. “She’s recording, with Aera.”

“Oh.”

There was nothing I could say at this point. They’ve been recording some songs already? Maybe not as a group yet…but…

“They’re just trying some things, unnie,” Chaerin explained, and I could only nod silently at this, even if she can’t even see me. “It’s not yet final.”

“But it’s one step closer to you guys debuting,” I croaked, my throat suddenly acting all weird, like I was about to do something stupid - cry on the phone like some sore loser. “One step farther away from my dream to be included in the group.”

Chaerin sighed. “I don’t know unnie, but just stop thinking about the bad things that might possibly happen. Remember, nothing’s final yet -- not until Sajangnim announces something about this himself.”

“What if he does, tomorrow? Later this afternoon? Right at this moment?”

“Sajangnim won’t do that.”

“We’ll never know, he can get quite unpredictable…”

“Exactly, so don’t even worry about things that aren’t happening yet.”

“Chaerin?”

“Unnie?”

“Do you think…”

“You can make it.”

There was finality in her tone, like she was so sure that I'd be able to enter. It scared me. If the other girls are already starting to record some songs, where do I stand now?

"Trust me, unnie. We'll make it. Who cares if we're doing some songs now? We haven't recorded anything together yet, I'd like to tell you this, so don't think too much about it." 

"Dara, fighting! Ssantokki, hwaiting!"

"Heard that?" Chaerin asked, her voice sounding happy as Bom continued cheering for me in the background. "Bom unnie thinks the same. Minji thinks the same. Aera...well obviously she doesn't, but again, who cares."

"Chaerin."

"Now practice 'till you drop because we're waiting for you!" 


Jiyong:

Two weeks of not seeing her is starting to drive me crazy. We've never even cleared the air between usformally, nor did we set the record straight. All we had was that one kiss we shared when I went to her house, and that playing-with-her-fingers kind of thing we did while inside the car.

She said she'd call me -- um, she said she'd call the girls once in a while, but why am I not getting any news about it? Even Seunghyun hyung started wondering about it too, her not calling anyone of us, and I knew for a fact that he was just looking for someone to annoy; after all, she got tired of pissing Aera off every time he'd see her, and it wasn't like we even see the girls nowadays to begin with.

She didn't even try to make some short visits. We're not even that busy. And even if we were, we would have found some time to accommodate her, all she just had to do was to call us.

"Bad news," Seunghyun hyung said seriously as he sat beside me. "I heard from our manager that the girl group, our female version, is set to debut anytime now. The members are finalized."

"What?!"

"I don't even know what to say. It's gonna be Chaerin, Bom, Minji and Aera. Four members, and it because we all know that there should be another member included. Okay so I'm being biased, but damn."

Dara. She had been practicing so hard, and this news will truly devastate her. Did hyung took Dara's words seriously? She marched to his office that one day when she thought that I didn't want to see her again, and deliberately told him that she was going to quit.

"This is unfair," I moaned, desperation evident in my voice. "So it's all set?"

"Didn't you hear? They will record a song together tomorrow. TOMORROW. Teddy hyung's already done with some tracks that would be included in their album. The problem is, how would any of us say this to Dara? Did you see her sing last time we went out? She held on to that poor microphone for dear life as if she was singing in front of YangGoon hyung for the first and last time, it's crazy. Dong-Wook hyung couldn't believe it, either. I mean, she worked and improved on her dancing skills faster than I ever did when we were about to debut, for chrissakes!"

"This will destroy her." Was all I could say. Hyung already said everything that needs to be said. What will happen now?

"I know, right? I can't even believe that Jiang actually got in. Oh my god," Seunghyun's face crumpled in disgust as he shared something he read in the forums. "So some fans in the cafe were like, saying that CL's gonna be the female version of you right, and they couldn't be more accurate. And then some girl, I don't even know if she's really a fan of mine, no offense, had this comment that kind of irked me. Jiang, my female version? That's not even cool. And I know that all of this talk will die down eventually when their group finally finds their own identity but for the love of flying pigs and all things pink, don't even put my name next to her. I must sound like an immature bigot right now, but anyhow. Everything just from here."

"Must be the eyes," I replied absentmindedly, my thoughts still all about Dara. "her eyes somehow reminds me of yours."

"The pink and purple unicorn?!" Seunghyun exclaimed, totally appalled. "My eyes absolutely do not look the same as hers."

"But they do." I argued. "Not like I'm totally trying to piss you off on purpose, hyung, but her eyes are bit similar to Dara's. You and Dara have that same, intense, stare."

"That's right, Dara's eyes and mine. Not Jiang's."

I laughed despite feeling depressed over the news he just told me awhile ago. Hyung whines like a girl sometimes. "Does it matter? Jiang doesn't even rap, the moment she opens to sing, people would forget about that one random netizen's comment about her being a female version of you."

"Hmm..." Hyung's expression became thoughtful as he digested the idea. "That's true. She can dance way better than I do, and that's okay, because it makes her different from me."

"Exactly. Now back to Dara not being included..."

"I don't know, man. The only thing we can do is just wait for the announcement. I'm sure the girls are just as worried as you are. After all, that's their group we're talking about."

We stayed quiet for a few minutes, unsure of what to say, of what to do next. If only I could do something.

If only I could help her.