Chapter 13
Hating Kwon Jiyong - By Ghikai
Dara:
"Ssandaraaaaaaa! YG trainee videos are up on youtube, like, now!!!" I jolted up from the bed upon hearing Ji Eun's ear-splitting scream. It was a rather lazy Sunday and it was drizzling outside since yesterday, so she and I just stayed inside her room in accordance to our usual weekend sleepovers. Yeah I'm more tired than ever and I actually tried telling her that maybe we could do this once a month [as opposed to every freakin weekend] but she insisted that we keep this 'little' tradition of ours because according to her, it's our only time to actually strategize and talk about our S.T.W.F.K.J [save the world from kwon jiyong] plans. She made that up, just in case you're wondering.
"Dara, get your cute little behind here at this instant and view the videos ASAP!" Ji Eun was already frantic. I wanted to strangle her for waking me up like that, but I also felt nervous about it so even if I'd rather sink in the covers, I sat beside her and stared at the computer screen.
"So, is it up? Is mine up already?"
Ji Eun's face was unreadable as she was randomly pointing the cursor on selected videos. She clicked Han Mina's and waited for it to buffer.
"Hey, that's not me. Lemme see mine first," I protested. I attempted taking the mouse away from her but she slapped my hand away.
"Quit doing that. And duh, I know this is a different trainee. Just zip your mouth first." She leaned back to her seat as the video started playing. "This girl knows her sh1t right," she observed and then added, "YG sure knows how to pick people worthy of getting accepted to his company."
I could only nod silently in agreement as we continued watching Mina's sample performance. Gosh it was flawless. It was like she was born to do this stuff. I was beginning to get into her perf when Ji Eun suddenly clicked Bommie's video. It started playing immediately and before we knew it, our mouths were hanging wide open because we were just...speechless.
"Daayuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum, the girl can sing!" Ji Eun gave a low whistle of approval. "Meloves. She should debut as a solo artist! I swear, if she did imma be one of her fans."
I looked at her meaningfully and she stopped smiling in an instant. "What? I can't? I'm not going lesbo over her, ok? My heart belongs to Taeyang."
I laughed at her conviction, as well as her being clueless. She didn't know how shy Taeyang was, especially around girls. And Ji Eun's not an ordinary girl, mind you. "You wish. Anyway, let's see mine ok?"
"Wait," Ji Eun replied as she scanned the other links. "I wanna see...CL? Yeah. Watching these videos made me realize that you have a tough challenge in front of you. What a stiff competition!" She finally clicked CL's link and yet again, we didn't know what to say.
"Dara damn you got buuuuuuuuuurned," Ji Eun commented under her breath, and I felt myself getting embarrassed. It's true, I've practically got nothing compared to them. I guess Ji Eun didn't realize that i was feeling incompetent already, because she kept on giving random [and sometimes sarcastic] comments. A few minutes later, I already got a hold of the mouse, which irked her a little. I went to YG's page and scrolled down to look at the comments.
MmmmmPHz:
The trainees are osm! YG debut them already!!!
VIP<333
Nice vids. Finally! I dun't lyk one of dem though...
Oops. Was that me? I scrolled down further, and I got the worst morning greeting in my life.
YGnice:
I'm loving Bom already. And CL! But WTH, What's up with Dara? That girl ain't got no good vocals!
XOXO:
OMFG I agree. I kinda felt YG's only wasting his time on her. Not good.
Trixxxie:
LOL i thought YG doesn't rely on looks? That Dara girl ain't amazing, just a pretty face. what is she doing here?
GDGDbabybaby:
the 5 looks good a as group. Don't include Dara, maybe she can be an actress instead? but then again i'm not sure...
YGladiesFTW!:
That Dara...doesn't fit in with YG's concept at ALL. But yay for the others!!!
I stood up, fed up with the comments. I should've seen this coming, because I know comments like these are a part of this crazy celeb-trainee-whatever world. I was just dumb to forget that now I'm not a random netizen anymore. Everything came rushing back, my harsh comments, below-the-belt even. I remembered Jiyong.
I'm not yet famous, but I can't even take the heat already. I hated to admit it, but it was finally dawning on me; Jiyong [and the others] must be hella strong to brush off the negative things people were saying to them.
"Dara." Ji Eun's voice sounded so far away...but urgent.
"Ji, I can't."
"Dara, take a look at this."
"No, I won't. It's something bad, I just know."
"Dara, take a look dammit. This is upsetting me too."
I turned around and sat beside her again. "What?"
Ji Eun didn't answer, but instead she scrolled down the comments so I could see it for myself.
DaraNazi:
That Dara does not deserve that spot. She can't sing, just a pretty face. GOD, I hate girls like her. I hate, hate, hate it.
DaraNazi:
She should just pack her bags and leave YG. !#@%# YG, don't debut her, it's a mistake!
DaraNazi:
!@?! another pretty face, zero talent. wtf this is irritating me.
DaraNazi:
!@#!#?! Dara! Go to hell, will you? Talentless b1tch.
I felt my chest tightening. I held on to Ji Eun's hands for support. I haven't even debuted and yet someone hated me already?
"Dammit that Dara-anti I swear imma kill that lowlife," Ji Eun removed my hand and started punching the keyboard keys with vengeance. Ji Eun's comment was vicious, but before she hit the submit button I stopped her.
"Ji Eun, don't."
"Just who does s/he think he/she is! That retard doesn't even know you!"
"Isn't it ironic?" I laughed bitterly. "I shouldn't be appalled at all. Ji Eun, we are antis too."
Ji Eun stopped talking in an instant and we just looked at each other in despair. I knew how much she wanted to fight back for me, but I guess she realized that what I said was right. She hugged me, without even saying a word.
"What can't kill me would only make me stronger," I assured her, and I felt her hugging me tighter. "Let that person hate me, ok? Let's just focus on our plans."
I felt Ji Eun sighing with relief, believing the things I'm saying to her. She should never know how much those comments have hurt me. She should never know how much this makes me realize that what we're doing to Jiyong is wrong.
Jiyong:
She seemed down these past few days.
If there's one thing that I couldn't help but notice, it's her sad expression that she's sporting almost every day this week. I keep on saying to myself that I shouldn't even bother [because I knew deep down she doesn't even care about me], but heck I'm really starting to get worried. I really wished I could wake up early everyday so I could make her favorite breakfast but damn I just couldn't -- I'm currently in the middle of my solo promotions and I just automatically lie down and fall asleep the moment I see my bed, or the couch even. And wtf what am I even thinking about now? Making her breakfast? WHAT?!
"Jiyong, heads up!" Startled, I did just exactly what the voice said only to have my face get hit by a huge roll of paper, poster -- I don't even know what exactly.
"!@#?!@! Hyung!!!" I touched my face, trying to feel if my nose was still intact. "What the H is wrong with you?"
Seunghyun hyung laughed and sat beside me. "Just want to apologize. Sorry, man."
I looked at him in disbelief. "Sorry?! This is your way of saying sorry? Hyung, I would have accepted your apology pronto if you didn't throw that thing on me!"
"Aw man." Hyung tried to reach out to touch my face, but I slapped his hand away. "Sorry. We good again?"
"Aish, yes. Yes. I was wrong too anyway."
Hyung's eyes widened. "Really?" He reached for my forehead to feel it. "Are you coming down with something?"
"Dude, no. I'm fine." I moved away inches from him and continued, "Anyway. Hyung, can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"You still talk with Dara?"
Hyung gave me a small smile, his eyes twinkling mischievously. "Hmm. Why?"
"Um.." I tried to look away, afraid that hyung would notice something different and make some absurd conclusions out of it. "Nothing really, she looks...down these past few days."
"Oh, that!" Hyung looked down and pressed his hands together. "I heard their trainee videos were up already..and well, I heard from Jiang Aera herself that Dara got the worst comments. Or something like that."
"Really? Have you seen the comments yourself?"
"Yeah. Mind you, the poor girl has haters already." He shook his head. "It must be hard because as of now, she's still sort of a normal person, not an idol. She's not used to it." Hyung was about to add something but I stood up all of a sudden. "Hey where are you going?"
I looked at him, my face blank, but my feelings more determined than ever. "I'm gonna read those comments myself."
"Hey, Ji--" Before hyung can complete what he's saying, I was already out the door.
---------------------------
I looked everywhere for her. I searched the whole damn building. Where the hell are the trainees when you're looking for them? I felt tired, but I didn't stop. I searched every single room, wanting to see her. How is she? Is she alright? What is she thinking about? Did she---
I opened the doors to see her sitting alone, her back me. In front of her was a laptop; I couldn't see her face but I could tell that she's only staring blankly at the screen. I walked stealthily behind her, but she must be so out of it that she didn't even feel my presence. I inched myself a little closer, enough to see what she's looking at.
And there it was, the comments. Comments criticizing her, comments belittling her. Comments expressing hate, disgust. I looked at her again and stopped. Dara's shoulders were shaking; I guessed it right, she was crying. No wonder even the other trainees couldn't find her, she chose to be alone and think about these things alone.
This is my first time seeing her so down like that.
It really pulled my heartstrings that what I did next was so out of context.
I hugged her.
I felt her freeze on the spot, shocked. She tried to free herself, but I just persisted.
I hugged her tighter.
Spent enough time in your arms to know,
Just where I want to be,
I’ve heard your voice enough to know.
Just what I need to hear,
I’m right beside you.
"Jiyong."
"Just, don't." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Let's just stay this way, shall we?"
She didn't say anything after that. And there were were, just like that dance that we had not too long ago – together, and frozen in time.
Preview: Chapter 14
Dara:
“Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
Sanghyun’s scream, followed by a loud thud. I dropped the blank cd’s I was holding and immediately went downstairs. I tried to listen closely, hoping to get a clue on what’s happening in the living room. When I didn’t hear anything from Sanghyun, I increased my speed; I was almost jumping down the steps just so I could rescue him. Did he fall or something?
“Sanghyun here I---“ I was out of breath by the time I landed the steps, only for my breath to be completely taken away.
Kwon Jiyong. Sitting casually in the sofa. In our sofa. In MY living room! I snuck a glance at Sanghyun, whose face was getting paler by the minute, the magazines he was holding scattered around his feet. His mouth was hanging open, utterly shocked and speechless.
Jiyong’s eyes brightened when he saw my face. “Hey!” He greeted me, but he didn’t stand up.
I gulped. “Um. What are you doing here?” I could feel my brain doing some somersaults inside my head, desperately looking for answers on why he was at my house.
He just grinned and replied, “Well, to visit you, what else?” He looked at Sanghyun and nodded at him casually, making my brother’s eyes bulge in disbelief.
WHAAAAAAAAAAT?
I stood up straighter and cleared my throat. “Look, It’s cool and everything but ---“
I was interrupted by the loud banging on the door. Another visitor? Who could it be?
“Dara, open the door dammit! I’ve been knocking since forever!”
QWERTYAZFG. JI EUN, NOT THIS TIME!!!!
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