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The cruelest things in life happen when we least expect them to.

The biggest secrets are revealed at the most unsuitable  time.

The deepest wounds are the most easy to reopen.

…One mistake can cause a disaster…

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Monday, September 18^th, 1961

Dear sweet Diary,
     I felt very sick this morning; I threw up and couldn’t get out of bed. But I had to gather my strength for Wufan’s sake. Tomorrow is our D-Day, he told me that I should get ready by Tuesday if I wanted to go with him.
This feels so scary yet so exciting. I undoubtedly choose him over my family and even my own life. I guess that’s what they call love, huh?

Tuesday, September 19^th , 1961

Dear sweet Diary,
I got ready, packed all what I need and wrote a note to my family. It’s finally the promised day. But Wufan is late. He promised he’d come by 10 o’clock, yet it’s almost midnight; it’s almost Wednesday. I wonder if he’s even coming…

Wedesday, September 20^th , 1961

Dear sweet Diary, in a very bitter night
     It’s 3 AM, my sister just got out of my room after saying these words: you’re wondering how dad knew, right? Well, I just happened to overhear your conversation with your so-called sweetheart that night when he sneaked in our house. He has no shame! You better stop your relationship with him right now. You know well why dad hates him. The guy is Chinese, he doesn’t have parents, he’s always hanging out with gangs, he has piercings and tattoos, etc. He just isn’t worth your time. There are plenty of good guys out there, so just forget about this delinquent. Father has been skipping his meds lately because he’s concerned about you. You’re going to ruin his life!
     This is soooo unfair!!!  I can’t stop crying! Wufan came a while ago and I was happy that we would finally be together. But just when we successfully sneaked out, we found my father waiting for us in front of the station. He calmly told Wufan to disappear from my life and forced me to go back home.

Wedesday, September 27^th , 1961

Dear sweet Diary,
      It’s been a week since I last saw the love of my life. I miss him like hell, and I wish he’d visit me sometime, but I know that’s impossible. My father has set up all type of barriers between Wufan and I. It’s like he’s snatching away a piece of me, but he doesn’t realize it. I also never realized how much I was in love until these incidents happened.
     This whole period I’ve been so sick: I’d throw up everyday and I would stay in bed all morning. It’s a pity that my family just adds up to it.
My father has also been very moody lately, and he’d even pick fights out of the blue and start breaking objects. This is certainly because he stopped taking his meds. I feel a bit guilty…

Thursday, September 28^th , 1961

Dear sweet Diary,
     Today, my longing for Wufan felt so great that I couldn’t take it anymore, and I decided to visit him. I actually wasn’t allowed of the house ever since the night I tried to run away, but luckily dad is on a business trip. I asked mom if I could go on a walk. She agreed but insisted that I bring my twin along, which was almost the same as not going out.
      With Minyoung with me, there was no chance I could visit Wufan in his house, so all I could do was hope that I’d meet him in the street; which didn’t happen, by the way.
When we were walking, I felt a pain in my lower abdomen, and almost passed out. Minyoung helped me on the way back home, and I ended up spending the day throwing up and cuddling with my black cat.

Friday, September 29^th , 1961

Dear sweet Diary, in the worst day of my life
       All my body is trembling as I’m writing this. I can’t stop crying, and I refuse to believe what I just heard. Faint noises from downstairs were coming to me, and I heard noises like “that guy” , “accident”, “dead”… At first, I denied my conclusion, so I went out to ask them about it. My sister stopped me from meeting dad, and told me the story herself, with no sympathy: Wufan was crashed by a car. He’s dead and his funeral will be held tomorrow.
      I refuse to believe this… What is… I can’t stop crying…

Saturday, September 30^th , 1961

Dear sweet Diary,
     I’m going! I have to go and check if it’s true. I know they’re lying. He can’t be dead, right? …
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     I sneaked out and headed to my lover’s house, only to find out that the heavens really betrayed me. I saw the neighbors in mourning, the family in grief, and everyone preparing for the funeral. He’s dead… I lost it at that moment and I don’t know what happened later, all I remember is dad coming out of nowhere, slapping me in front of everyone, and taking me home.
     I locked myself in my room, with the only things left for me; my cat and my music.

Sunday, October 1^st, 1961

Dear sweet Diary,
     I woke up feeling numb and ill. I’ve been vomiting all day, and it’s only now that I could get out of bed. I’ve been very ill lately, and now it’s this new disaster. I… want him here, next to me…
    I want to die.

Monday, October 2^nd , 1961

Dear sweet Diary,
     Again: vomiting, illness, wanting to die… and most especially, longing for my lover. My lover whose soul is still alive by my side…
    I think I’m pregnant. And I need to tell someone.

Friday, October 13^th , 1961

Dear sweet Diary, in the last time I’m writing to you
     How long has it been…
A week? A month? Who knows…
I’m a living corpse…
On that awful day, I confessed to my sister that I was carrying a child in my womb…
Little did I know, she went immediately to tell my father…
My dad, not having taken his meds in months, is in an awful state. And my twin had to add up to it…
He went outraged, screaming and yelling at me. He said stuff like he wanted to kill me, and that I brought shame to his name…
He beat me ruthlessly. He gave me utmost pain and suffering, both physically and emotionally…
     He… killed him…
I can’t stop crying at the thought… He killed my baby who never saw life…
He killed a part of my soul and left me drowning in misery…
His craziness even led him to kill my cat, by breaking my violin on his head…
I spent all this time locked up in my room, lying on my bed…
Not able to talk, to eat, to do anything…
I just hope my sister isn’t blaming herself…
     He took it all…
My lover, my child, my cat, my music…
He took all of me… I am but a living corpse…
And today… I decided to meet them…
On this Friday the 13^th, I decide to put an end to it all…

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So, what do you think after learning the truth? ^^