The Present Day

“So?”

“So?”

“What are our plans for tonight?”

“Minho-ah, you know what today is”

“Exactly. That’s why I want us to do something”

“…”

“Please Siwon, we never celebrate your birthday! You’re twenty two now. It’s a great reason to celebrate”

“You know how I feel about birthdays”

“But that was like years ago. Come on! Please?”

...

Five Years and Seven Months Ago

It was finally time for Siwon to confess. Confessing his feelings to Kyuhyun was all he thought about for the last couple of months. He knew it would be a big risk but it didn't stop him from rehearsing for it non stop.

Luckily for him, his birthday was a free day in Super Junior schedule, and since it’s the first birthday that Siwon and Donghae would celebrate together in six years, Donghae excitedly suggested throwing him a little party at the dorm which the other members agreed to since all they have been doing lately was work, rehearse, dance and interviews, so a little fun sounded great.

However, Siwon was nervous as hell. He had been waiting for that day for too long that when it was finally there he turned into a wreck replaying all the possibilities in his head.

Along the past couple of months he had gotten a little bit closer to Kyuhyun. That time when they played Starcraft at the dorm was not the only one. Kyuhyun was excited to finally find someone else to play with other than Heechul who would smack him on the head whenever he won. Being the maknae had its advantages, but it also had its disadvantages. So with Siwon, and gaming being his second favourite thing to do, he was glad he finally could express his excitement whenever he won and not being afraid of getting hit or ignored the next day, which was childish of Hyukjae to do whenever he lost.

Siwon on the other hand, was mostly happy that he got the chance to watch Kyuhyun not only from afar but from up close, and whenever he would visit the dorm, each time he would fall even harder. Hopefully, that was about to stop.

...

Siwon was standing in front of the mirror for half an hour as he already changed his outfit for the umpteenth time that night since nothing seemed to be at his taste. Well the truth was, it wasn’t about an outfit per se, but it was more about looking perfectly handsome when confessing.

Siwon had thought a lot about his ual preferences. The fact was, he never thought of it before because he never found someone he actually liked. But now that he did, he wanted to treasure it.

Finally, Siwon decided to wear a tight black jeans, a grey shirt that traced his muscular torso and a pair of black boots. Siwon may be sixteen years old but he took care of his body very well. He was definitely handsome and a guy that girls drool over.

“Hello birthday boy! Looking hot I see?” Donghae complimented as he walked in to Siwon’s room and made himself comfortable on the bed.

“Hyung, do I really look good?” Siwon seriously asked looking at his brother through the mirror.

“What’s with the serious face? Yes, you look great! You got our mother’s looks” Donghae proudly admitted before a sad smile graced his lips, making Siwon’s eyes watery at the mention of his mom.

They never really talked about the whole separating thing and Donghae was already feeling bad about Siwon been taken away from his mother at a young age, but the latter didn’t want to talk about it and Donghae didn’t want to insist.

“So, should we get going?” Donghae stood up from the bed trying to change the gloomy mood and Siwon just nodded before spraying his body with perfume and following his brother who didn’t miss the chance on commenting about how Siwon emptied the whole bottle on him which successufully made the latter turn red.

...

At The Dorm

“Here you are!” Kangin welcomed Donghae and the birthday boy as they walked in to the dorms. Donghae smiled before saying something about how Siwon was pickingly choosing a good outfit while the said person was staring at the living room, eyes focused on one special person.

Kyuhyun was looking gorgeous that Siwon couldn’t help but drown into his beauty once again. He was wearing blue tight jeans, a white v-neck t-shirt and a blue shirt above it. Holding a glass of some undefined juice in his hand and laughing over something that Hyukjae was telling him. Kyuhyun’s voice, even from a few feet away, reached Siwon’s ears and made his heart jump from its place. The voice that he fell in love with since the first time he heard it, the voice he would love to keep hearing every single minute of the day.

Siwon didn’t realize he spaced out until Kangin snapped his fingers in front of his face bringing him back from his daydreaming.

“Are you okay?” Siwon cleared his throat before smiling and nodding at Kangin. He knew he should get a hold of himself no matter how stunning Kyuhyun looked that night.

So he followed Donghae and Kangin into the living room where he was welcomed with several birthday wishes that he welcomed with a wide smile and thank yous, until a certain person wished him a happy birthday leaving him with a definitely different kind of smile. His eyes started sparkling as he intensely stared at Kyuhyun which the latter was kind of confused about but he shrugged off that feeling when Siwon was called into the kitchen.

...

“So? What do you think?”

“Hyung! You made this?”

Ryeowook called for Siwon into the kitchen to show him the cake he made for him and Siwon was very grateful.

“Aha, you like it?”

“Thank you so much hyung”

“Come on! Let’s taste it”

Siwon assured him that it would sure taste as good as it looked, and so they both proceeded to the living room to join the others.

...

As usual, Siwon’s eyes never left Kyuhyun, but he made sure he wouldn’t get caught staring since there were too many people in the room and he wouldn’t want anyone to know how he felt before he could confess to Kyuhyun. So, he occasionally took glances at Kyuhyun’s direction liking how his heart flattered each time their gazes would meet and Kyuhyun would smile at him, or when he realized how he and Kyuhyun are somehow alike.

...

“So, sixteen, ha? I can’t even remember how I was like at sixteen” Heechul stated when they were sitting on the couch chatting about this and that which gave Siwon the perfect opportunity to .

“Because you’re old now? How old are you? Like twenty five or something?” Siwon dared yet again to mess with the diva making everyone laugh but only under their breaths, and as much as Siwon liked to tease Heechul, what he liked especially more was that it made Kyuhyun happy. The latter told him once that it felt good to not be the only one who can mock Super Junior's princess.

“Yah brat! I’m twenty one!” Heechul snapped back but he was soon corrected by the maknae “Twenty two hyung” And when Kyuhyun turned to Siwon and winked at him, the younger's heart felt like it dropped into his stomach.

“It feels like we have two maknaes!” Donghae exclaimed and everybody laughingly agreed with him, even Heechul who was very upset couldn't help but laugh, proud of his little heirs.

...

The evening passed smoothly and everyone was having fun including Siwon, even though he was secretely waiting for the right moment to talk to Kyuhyun. So finally when they blew up the candles and the guys were hovering over the cake, he took the chance to walk up to Kyuhyun.

“Hey Kyuhyun hyung, can I talk to you for a second?”

“Is everything okay Siwon-ah?”

“Yeah, it will only take a minute”

“Sure”

So Siwon nervously walked in through the kitchen and into the balcony where they could have some privacy, and as much as his heart was pounding in his chest and his stomach was doing strange flips, he knew that he had to let Kyuhyun know how he felt about him. He was a smart boy and he knew he needed at least to know where he was standing.

Once in the balcony, Kyuhyun’s eyebrows were soon knit in confusing as to why Siwon would want to talk to him privately. The latter on the other hand, was anxiously playing with his fingers while his eyes were focused on the floor.

They fell silent for a few seconds until Kyuhyun decided to speak first “Is everything alright?”

Upon hearing Kyuhyun’s voice, Siwon inhaled and exhaled deeply before he started explaining what he wanted to say.

“What I want to talk to you about is … well it may sounds weird … I mean we only know each other for like five months but … Since the first time I … ”

And then Siwon took the courage to raise his head and look straight into Kyuhyun’s eyes.

“The fact is … I like you. No, I think I love you”

Siwon felt good about finally letting it out. It was the first time he said it out loud and even though he was scared of Kyuhyun’s reaction, he didn’t dare to break their gazes.

Kyuhyun was definitely shocked. His mouth was slightly open as his mind was trying to process what he just heard. Like me? Love me?

They stood there for a couple of minutes not moving or blinking, just staring at each other which made Siwon freak out since he wanted to know what Kyuhyun was thinking about. The latter was just blankly staring at him and probably trying to figure out a way to answer that or maybe figure out how to react to that?

“No you don’t” and Kyuhyun finally managed to say while slightly smiling. He didn’t really process the idea of Siwon being in love with him. He couldn’t, could he? Siwon was sixteen years old, a high school teenager and one of his friends little brother. There was no way that could be happening to him.

Siwon’s eyes widen at hearing that. It was definitely not the response he was waiting for, and Kyuhyun smiling like Siwon just said the silliest thing ever, made him feel a tint of hurt.

“Of course I do!” Siwon said in a determined tone making Kyuhyun sigh as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“Listen Siwon. You’re sixteen you can’t even possibly know what love is”

“But I do! I liked you since the minute I laid my eyes on you” Siwon retorted leaving Kyuhyun more stressed because he didn’t know what to say without hurting the boy.

“Well I’m not gay, and I’m sure neither are you. You just need some time to figure out whatever this you’re feeling is”

Kyuhyun tried to reason with the boy but Siwon was sure about his feelings. The racing heart beat and the butterflies in his stomach whenever Kyuhyun was close to him, the blushing and the stutter whenever Kyuhyun talked to him, the sleepless nights he had been having whenever an image of Kyuhyun appeared in his mind, or the goose bumps that spread all over his body whenever he heard Kyuhyun’s sensual voice, if all of these things didn’t mean love, then Siwon may just be a crazy man.

Eyes welling up with tears, Siwon’s heart felt like breaking into pieces. He didn’t know he was gay until he met Kyuhyun and he wasn’t ashamed of it. He was a smart kid and he knew that love does not know gender, so if his heart had beaten for Kyuhyun then let it be.

Unexpectedly, as Kyuhyun was waiting to see if Siwon got his senses back, he felt a grip on his hip followed by something soft landing on his lips. His eyes bulged out at the sudden act but as he soon realized what just happened, he quickly pushed Siwon off of him before slapping him.

...

Too lost in savouring the taste of Kyuhyun’s lips, It wasn’t until a couple of minutes after Siwon kissed Kyuhyun that he snapped out of it and found himself alone in the balcony, heartbroken and with a stinging cheek. A single tear broke free from the corner of his eye and flew down his face, triggering the other tears to flow as well.

Siwon’s hand moved to caress his aching cheek while his other hand clutched on his chest right above his heart. He felt hurt and rejected. It wasn't how he planned for it. He knew that Kyuhyun wasn’t going to return his feelings that easily but he was only hoping for acceptance. Yes, acceptance was more than enough for that moment, but unfortunately, a broken heart was all he got instead.

As the tears kept on streaming non stop, Siwon let his body slide down the wall behind him. He pulled his knees to his chest and started sobbing. He moved the hand on his cheek to his mouth in order to block his sobs, and he stayed curled up in that position for quite few minutes until he heard his brother's voice calling for him and so he quickly stood up and wiped up his tears because he couldn’t take explaining what happened to Donghae. It was too hurtful to talk about it or even rewind it.

...

At the living room

It took Siwon a big lie to convince Donghae that he was okay and that he wasn’t crying for a certain reason before they both went back inside. Siwon was trying hard not to look at Kyuhyun who seemed to be having fun again as if he didn’t break the younger’s heart a few minutes ago.

“Hyung, can we go home?”

“It’s still early. Are you okay?”

“I’m not feeling good”

Donghae put his palm over Siwon’s forehead to check if he had a fever and apparently he did. His temperature was a little bit high which made Donghae agree to go home.

Siwon thanked his hyung-deul for the party and tried as hard to put the perfect fake smile he could manage. His body felt sore and his heart was feeling weak that all he wanted was to curl up in bed and cry until he runs out of tears.

The guys were kind of disappointed because they wanted to celebrate more, but the wearily look on Siwon’s face made them understand that he was indeed not feeling alright. Siwon apologised again before turning around to leave. His eyes were trying very hard not to look in Kyuhyun’s direction and he was glad they obeyed him. However, as he turned around, Leeteuk called him up again and Siwon’s eyes betrayed him as the first thing they laid on when he turned was Kyuhyun, sitting comfortably on the couch while playing with his phone, making Siwon feel another stab in his chest seeing how the older didn’t seem to care about how he stole the boy’s heart and crushed it into pieces.

“Don’t forget your presents” Leeteuk said while helping Shindong carry them.

“I’ll help you take them to the car” Shindong exclaimed and Siwon bowed while muttering a small thank you and wishing everyone a good night.

...

Once Siwon and Donghae left, Kyuhyun excused himself saying he was tired and wanted to sleep early that night. Well Kyuhyun wasn’t physically tired, but he felt bad for hurting Siwon. He actually liked the boy as a younger brother of course since he enjoyed spending time with him, but he was shocked to find out that Siwon grew a strange affection for him. That explains the several times I caught him staring at me!

Kyuhyun felt kind of guilty when he saw Siwon coming out of the kitchen with Donghae earlier because the boy looked flushed and about to faint. His eyes were clearly puffy like he had been crying but Kyuhyun knew he did the right choice, minus the slap because it was a bit too much, but in his defence, Siwon did kiss him out of nowhere so he was kind of startled. However, Kyuhyun didn’t regret rejecting the boy because he knew it was a teenage crush that needed to be stopped from the beginning. He didn’t want to fool him.

Kyuhyun let one of his hands land on his lips tracing them softly before he slammed his body into the bed upon remembering Siwon’s hurt face.

I can’t believe I’ve been kissed by a high school student! I need to talk to him and put some sense into his head again.

...

The Present Day

“I made a wish that day you know”

“I can see it didn’t quite come true?”

“Nope, it only took a couple of minutes for it to come shattering on my face”

“Then make a new wish! Come on, let’s go celebrate and enjoy your day”

“You know what? Yeah let’s go out tonight, I don’t care anymore”

Minho knows that Siwon does and always will care, but at least for tonight he’s going to try to let him have some fun.

...

2007: I wish Kyuhyun will accept my feelings.
2012: I wish Kyuhyun is happy.

Aren't those wishes the cutest? :p
So how will Kyuhyun hyung get some sense into Siwon's head? We'll see in the next chapter ^^