Five Years And Two Months Ago

Kyuhyun spent two more days in the ICU after he woke up since he was still slipping in and out of consciousness and was mute because of the shock. However, on the sixth day, he was moved to a regular hospital room and he did not need a respiratory machine anymore to support his breathing.

And just like the past few days, Siwon was still spending his time at the hospital even after Kyuhyun opened his eyes. However, he did finally go home and ate a good meal since he knew the older was going to be okay. He even attended a few classes because he didn’t want to fail school, and luckily he was smart enough to catch up with his lessons.

Unfortunately, whenever Siwon would stop by the hospital, he would find Kyuhyun asleep. He didn’t know why his luck was that bad but he didn’t seem to see Kyuhyun’s eyes open ever since the day the older woke up in the ICU. Even when he asked Heechul to call him once Kyuhyun was awake, when Siwon would reach the hospital, the maknae would be yet again asleep.

So a week later, Siwon was determined to see Kyuhyun awake even if he had to skip school the whole day, which he did. It was a Wednesday and Siwon woke up very early in the morning, cleaned himself, got dressed, and headed to the hospital. When he was standing in front of Kyuhyun’s room, his breathing accelerated and his hands started to sweat from nervousness, but he took a deep breath and twisted the door knob before quietly stepping into the room.

The sun shone through the blinds of the window, golden rays lighted on the figure sleeping on the bed, giving the milky shadows of his face the perfect glow. There was no one in the room that morning which Siwon felt thankful for. He was hoping to have a few minutes with Kyuhyun alone because there are some things that he wanted to tell him, and even if Kyuhyun couldn't hear him, he just needed to let it out.

He slowly approached the bed and sat on a chair that was right beside it. Siwon of course knew it was going to be difficult to see Kyuhyun in such state, but he didn’t know how difficult, until he was an inch away from him. His heart ached at the view of the person he loved so much lying at that bed hospital, covered with many bandages and had small cuts on his beautiful face. Siwon wanted to be strong but his eyes were already starting to get watery.

He reached for Kyuhyun’s hand and held it in his so delicately to not hurt him, he raised it to his lips and pressed a long yet light kiss on its knuckles. He didn’t notice the tears already flowing from his eyes until the hand he was holding, was wet with tears. He quickly pulled away and wiped his eyes before shifting his gaze to look at Kyuhyun’s face.

“Hey Kyu hyung! It’s me Siwon, I’m happy you’re okay now. I knew you could do it, you’re strong. You’re the ultimate maknae, there’s nothing you can’t survive … I missed you, you know? I had no one to follow around confessing my love to. Yeah cheesy I know, but I really, really missed you. I miss your voice with the way you always tell me to stop saying ‘I love you’ to you. I miss your eyes, with the way you roll them when I say something mooshy. I miss your wide smile, when you beat me at starcraft. I miss your cheeks and how they blush whenever I come closer to you. I miss your lips, your sinful lips that I would die to have a taste at them again. I miss you Cho Kyuhyun… I need to see you awake and smiling again. I already watched my father die and it was the worst thing anyone could ever go through. I was there with him watching how each day a piece of him would disappear. I don’t want to repeat that Kyu! The idea of you dying breaks my heart into million pieces and I can never imagine what would happen to me if you die” Tears were streaming heavily by now. The hand he was holding was rested on his cheek and being pampered with butterfly kisses between each sentence. “Please comeback. I don’t care if you love me or if you toss me away, I’ll be happy just with you here. I love you so much”

Siwon’s crying turned into loud sobs and he collapsed his head on the bed next to Kyuhyun’s figure. His heart was hurting but as much as he fought back the tears, they kept on coming against his will. So to avoid Kyuhyun seeing him in that state, he just dashed from the room and left the hospital.

However, what Siwon didn’t know, was that his words were already heard by the maknae.

...

The next time Siwon saw him, Kyuhyun was awake and talking. It was two weeks later when Siwon visited him with Donghae. 

Kyuhyun was smiling, was the first thing Siwon thought of when he stepped into his room. Kyuhyun was surrounded by his band mates who were pretty much thanking him for surviving. Donghae soon joined them leaving Siwon standing still next to the door, leaning on the wall and watching how Kyuhyun was trying his best to act like he was okay, but Siwon could tell he was in a slight pain.

Due to Siwon’s little observations when he first knew Kyuhyun, he was well aware of what every little act or grimace in Kyuhyun’s face indicate to. Like now, there was a small vein showing in Kyuhyun’s neck, plus the lack of blinking, signifying that the older was trying to keep his eyes open even though he was clearly sleepy, Kyuhyun’s fingers were clutching on the blanket beside his hip, signifying that he was hurting, and the teeth that were slightly gritting was to stop himself from wincing. Siwon knew it all, and so he couldn’t bare seeing Kyuhyun in pain which was why he decided to step in.

“Hyungs, maybe we should let him rest a bit? He must be tired”

And for the first time in three weeks, Kyuhyun saw Siwon. A ting of pink travelled to his cheeks, his hand relaxed as the pain surprisingly seemed to subside and his eyes stared at him intensively, admiring how the younger was giving him his dimpled smile again. Kyuhyun couldn’t help not to smile back, causing the others to look back and forth between the two with suspicion and dumbfound written on their faces.

“Siwon was really worried about you” Heechul whispered close to Kyuhyun’s ear but it was loud enough for everyone to hear, leading a certain blush to apprear on Siwon's face upon remembering that Heechul knew about his feelings for the maknae.

Kyuhyun’s cheeks on the other hand, turned even more pink and so Siwon sensed the uncomfortable atmosphere and decided to lightened it up a bit, or so he thought he did “I’m glad you’re okay Kyu hyung”

He emphasized on the name thing since he knew Kyuhyun didn't like being called by that nickname, and so it only led to more blushing from both of them and Heechul had to interfere yet again.

“Anyway, Siwon is right. Kyuhyun should take some rest, so let’s go”

Heechul literally dragged his dongsaengs out of the room and intentionally left Siwon behind, but not without an evil smirk and a devious wink.

...

Siwon’s eyes followed his hyungs until the door was closed which made him think of what kind of reason would Heechul come up with to explain him staying in the room with Kyuhyun, but he didn’t care that much. He turned to face Kyuhyun again and chuckled as the latter was obviously avoiding looking at him.

“Feeling a bit okay?” Siwon asked as he stood on the edge of the bed

“For someone who just had a serious accident, I’m a bit okay”

Siwon had to laugh at Kyuhyun’s mockery but he was just glad that Kyuhyun was himself again.

“You should rest. I’ll see you later”

Sensing Kyuhyun's uneasiness, Siwon turned to leave but when he was about to exit the room, Kyuhyun’s voice stopped him.

“Siwon?” The younger shifted his gaze to Kyuhyun who was still not looking at him, only playing with the edge of the blanket, and stood silent waiting for what the other wanted to say.

“We’ll talk when I get out from the hospital”

Siwon felt a slight pang in his heart upon realizing what Kyuhyun meant by talk, it certainly explained why the older was avoiding looking at him, but he chose to push any negative ideas from his head and be optimistic as he had been for the past months.

“Okay. Rest well Kyu hyung”

...

However they didn’t talk about it until three months later. 

Four Years and Eleven Months ago

It took Kyuhyun another week to finally be able to walk again, but it didn't end there. The younger needed a lot of rest and therapy to overcome the accident's effects on his body. Kyuhyun underwent a serious surgery and so his body was still readjusting.

When he was released from the hospital, Kyuhyun went back to his own home for more recovery. His parents took care of him while his band mates visited him whenever their busy schedule permitted them.

Unfortunately, being a senior in high school, Siwon was busy as hell with the upcoming exams and the school activities, and so he couldn't visit Kyuhyun as much as he wanted to. Of course he saw him a few times when he went to visit him with Donghae, but it was for a short time and they didn't even get to talk privately.

Kyuhyun could sense that Siwon wanted to talk to him whenever the younger came to visit, but he was too stressed out and tired from all of his therapy to actually have time to have that kind of a talk. So he acted obliviously to the matter, even though he knew Siwon would never let it go.

The truth was, when Kyuhyun said he was going to talk to Siwon, he was indeed referring to their kiss that happened a day before his accident, and to which he was supposed to figure out what it meant. However, now that the accident happened, it didn't matter what Kyuhyun thought of the kiss then, because everything changed the second that van flipped over. Kyuhyun saw his life flashing in front of him and he clearly thought he was going to die. Of course to some people that might come as a sign to live life to the fullest, but to Kyuhyun, living life to the fullest was succeeding in his career. That was his top priority at the time and he wasn't going to let anything or anyone to get in the way, no matter what his heart was telling him.

...

After those three months, Kyuhyun moved back to the dorm after he insisted that he was okay and he wanted to come back and live with his hyungs. His parents disapproved at first, but he won over them.

So one day, when all the members were out for a schedule, Siwon decided to drop by the dorm and check on his favorite hyung. He was holding a small box in his hand which he hid in his pocket when he was in front of Kyuhyun's room.

He knocked on the door but when he didn't get any response, he decided to open it nonetheless. He peeked his head inside and his sight landed on Kyuhyun's figure that was lying on the bed and staring at the ceiling. Siwon cleared his throat to announce his presence, which made Kyuhyun snap his head to look at his visitor and when he saw it was no other that Siwon, his cheeks suddenly turned pink as he tried to sit properly.

"Can I come in?" Siwon asked earning him a nod from the maknae. Siwon then got inside and helped Kyuhyun put a pillow behind his back before sitting himself beside him.

"How are you feeling?"

"Okay" Kyuhyun put a light smile on his face but he still wouldn't look at Siwon's face, which made the latter hold the older's hand to get his attention.

Kyuhyun's body flinched at the touch, but as he tried to pull back his hand, Siwon gripped tighter and so succeeding to make Kyuhyun look him in the eyes.

"S-Siwon..." Kyuhyun started but he didn't seem to finish his sentence.

"Yes?" 

"We need to talk" 

"I'm aware of that"

Siwon smiled widely at Kyuhyun's blushing state which sent butterflies into Kyuhyun's stomach when the famous dimples showed up. However, he shook off that feeling and finally managed to pull his hand from Siwon's grip.

"Listen, I need to tell you something" 

Siwon's heart stung upon sensing Kyuhyun's serious tone, he withdrew his hand to join the other one on his lap.

"I don't know how to say it, but ... us ... It can't happen" Siwon's face turned pale with that statement, his face fell sad instantly and his heart started aching. However, he left his gaze focused on Kyuhyun's eyes, as if trying to catch the real truth between those lines.

"I'm sorry. I just can't be in a relationship right now. I just had a major accident and I need to get back on my feet without something holding me back"

"So, am I a hold back? Are my feelings such a barrier?" Siwon snapped back clearly hurt by Kyuhyun's words.

"That's not what I meant. Siwon, I can't let anything distract me from my comeback and you distract me" Kyuhyun tried to reason with him, but Siwon only got madder with each word coming from Kyuhyun's mouth. He suddenly stood up and turned his back to Kyuhyun while trying not to cry.

"Siwon ... Please understand. I'm not ready for such a thing, not now at least"

And with that last sentence, Siwon turned to face Kyuhyun again and he couldn't miss on how the older had a sad look on his face. Siwon took a deep breath before sitting next to Kyuhyun again, only this time closer.

"Does that mean you want me to wait?" 

Kyuhyun's eyes bulged out at that question. Is that what I meant? Do I want him to wait for me? But that's not fair to him. I can't mislead him like this. But, am I misleading him? Wasn't I the one who kissed him that day? Wasn't I the one that couldn't resist his smile? 

"I can't ask you that. I-I'm n.." Kyuhyun was suddenly shut by Siwon's lips pressing on his. It was a chaste kiss, only lips touching but it managed to make Kyuhyun close his eyes and enjoy the feeling.

When Siwon pulled back seconds later, his eyes were glowing with hope which made Kyuhyun feel guilty about it but he was sure about his decision. The latter broke their gaze as he averted his face to one side, causing Siwon to move back.

"Is that your final decision?"

Siwon sighed when Kyuhyun slightly nodded, before standing up and moving to the bed side table. He took the earlier box from his pocket and put it there before making his exit. However, before he unlocked the door he had to ask one last question.

"One last thing, before the accident happened, you were supposed to give me your answer. Was it the same as now?" 

Kyuhyun's hand clutched firmly on the sheet and he was glad Siwon was standing a bit far so he wouldn't see the small tear that escaped the corner of his eye.

When Siwon caught on how Kyuhyun was still turning his face to the other side, not facing him, he wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer anyway. He hung his head low, and with a faint smile, he walked away from Kyuhyun.

If only you ask me to wait for you, I'll do it without a second thought.

...

The Present Day

"I took you for granted, didn't I?" Kyuhyun asks no one in particular, his hand is holding the little box Siwon gave him a few years back, while the other one is reading the note that accompanied it, although he already memorized it by now.

Happy Birthday Kyunnie ^^
I wish to see you happy and healthy for years and years ahead.
This little pendant was a gift from my dad. He got it from my mom when they first got married, so I hope you'll like it :) 
He told me to give it to the person I love, which is you of course. So take good care of it, okay?

Love
Choi Siwon
^3^

Here you go guys! Hope you're not disappointed.
Well, a little bit of angst but they'll be happy again :D
So you think Kyuhyun can live without Siwon's childish love games? Well I don't ;D
Thanks for the comments and to my amazing subscribers ♥