Chapter 8: I won't fail

Lu Han's POV

I already lost my first love. I’m not taking any chances to lose you...

Feeling all giddy inside as I made my way to my girlfriend’s house. I saw people around me looking at me in the weirdest way possible, as I skipped along the way.

It was our first year anniversary, and hell yeah I was happy.

I still remembered the time I first met her, here in this park that I was happily skipping at. Again, people look at me weirdly.

She was crying near the fountain, her face was all stained up with her tears. As the old me got disheartened to see a figure, that was suffering or at least in pain. I made my way towards her.

Trying to comfort her in some way that wasn’t going to be awkward, as I patted her back gently and bring out a smile, as I try to cheer her up.

When she had calmed down a bit, I slowly asked what’s wrong. It was a surprise that she was able to tell me, even though we’re just strangers to each other.

But I guess she just really needed someone to tell her problems to.

She said that her boyfriend left her. And after that she cried again. I didn’t dare to ask anymore and just continue to comfort her.

I don’t exactly remember how we became friends, but we got closer for the past year and even went to same school together. I see her everyday and we just talk randomly at things and laugh at everything together.

Until I realize that everytime I look at her, I felt myself smiling and my inner self was jumping in joy. Whenever we tend to touch each other, I always felt my cheeks burning, knowing that I was already blushing.

It felt so unfamiliar to me at that time, everything that I was experiencing, and I seriously was clueless about it, until my friends whack me in the head, saying that I was feeling ‘Love’. By the way, that whacking in the head literally happened.

But mostly, they told me that those were the sign of it. I didn’t acknowledge it at first, cause I wasn’t planning to feel this at that age. But I got used to and soon able to confess to her one day.

One of the most happiest day of my life when she also told me she likes me back. And from then on, we’ve started going out.

That brings us to my state. I was still skipping; holding the present that I was planning to give to her on our anniversary. First ever anniversary and I felt really excited.

I was slightly wondering what her reaction would be like.

Grinning to myself as I step in front of her door; taking out some spare keys that I duplicate so that I can come inside whenever I want to surprise her.

I slowly opened it, afraid to let out a sound. Cause of course, I was planning to surprise her. I slowly closed it as I took light steps into her living room.

My feet suddenly lost its balance as I grip into the table nearby. Hands shaking as I felt the present I was going to give her drop on the floor.

My sight suddenly got blurry as a tear threatened to fall down from my eyes. Seeing that in front of me made my heart sank to my lungs as I clench my fist.

Her… with another guy. Kissing. Making out. Couch. My mind was already mixed up, I couldn’t even think straight. The words all jumbled up and I don’t really know what I’ll do anymore.

I didn’t even notice that I had already hit the wall beside me, with my fist. Catching their attention. I took deep breaths as I look down, gritting my teeth.

Hearing a gasp, as I bit my bottom lip hard, as I forced myself to look up. As soon as I did, I regretted it.

I saw her walking towards me with the most saddest eyes I could’ve ever imagine, and I just felt like I stab myself with a broken glass. My heart being shattered like this. That’s stupid.

“... I’m sorry.” I flinched at her words as I poke the insides of my cheeks with my tongue. Feeling pain all over my body.

My eyes suddenly felt cold as I furrowed my eyebrows at her, “… I still love him.” I twitched my eyes and rolled it at her. That seriously answers everything.

I looked at the guy behind her. And yes, it was her ex, that left her two years ago. I really thought that my heart stop beating when I notice the guy.

He stood up and walk behind her as he gave me a glare. I smirked at him and turn towards her. I felt the urge to just stay strong, and not let her see my weakness. I don’t want her to see that I was being weak in front of her, when she looks like she doesn’t even give a damn about me or my feelings.

It was our anniversary, and does she care? She doesn’t look like she remembered it anyways. I gave out a look at her and lift my head up, and let out a cold ‘tch’ as I shrugged.

If she acts that way, then so beat it. I felt my heart beating in a normal pace, but it was a bit different. I felt cold and empty.

I stared at her eyes, with much coldness and took a step back. And another, and another. I walked backwards, and when I reach the door, I grab the door knob and gave out one last smile. Before running out.

I let my feet drag me to some place I didn’t care about right now. My eyes couldn’t take it anymore as it burst out into tears. I let out a rough sob as I was still running.

I never stop, I didn’t turn back, never would I let myself see the most horrified thing that my eyes could’ve see again.

My eyes landed to the fountain where I first met her. As I slowly made my way towards it. I don’t even know why I went here when I know I’ll just feel the pain again, but my feet just went on its own.

Siting down on the same spot as I let the tears run down my cheeks. It was rarely for me to cry, but I couldn’t stop it. It was going to fast.

I closed my eyes and thought of everything. This is too much. This isn’t fair.

I hate falling in love. I hate that I feel pain from it. I hate that I have to meet her. Why can’t I just fall for the right one?

... I’m never going to love ever again.

I blinked my eyes and closed it again. My head feeling dizzy as I remembered my past.

Letting out a soft sighed as I covered my face with my palms.

Is it bad to say that I fell for someone again? Groaning as I hit the bench. I lift my head up and nodded at myself.

I’ll fight for her. And this time, I’m going to make sure I won’t fail...

End of Luhan’s POV

Your POV

Here I am sitting on my desk at school. Deep in thoughts as I stared out in space. I tilted my head. Yesterday was just one heck of a day. When I asked for something new, I didn’t meant it to be this much. I sighed and let my head fall on top of my desk.

Why can’t I understand my life? Urgh.

At first, I kissed Kris and the second one, I was about to kiss Luhan. That was all too much. I can’t even process anything in my head right now.

I lift my head up from my arms as I stared at the white board in front of me. My mind suddenly thought of saying to Luhan about me and Jandi being sisters.

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. Why the hell am I thinking something so off?!

Biting my lips as my mind went back to it. Should I really tell him about me being sisters with her? He was in fact one of those peoples I trust, and I’m sure he’s wiling to keep it a secret.

“Why am I being so random at times?” I sighed and stood up, swinging my bag over my shoulder as I made my way out of the classroom.

Since I went to school a bit earlier than usual, there isn’t much students here yet, although there are some that are already roaming around.

My feet dragged my all the way to the garden me and Luhan was about to kiss. It sent me feeling butterflies inside my stomach as I felt a bit uneasy just thinking about it.

It felt really good to be in his arms. It was a feeling that I couldn’t express very well. I just shook the thought away as I sat down on the same bench.

Resting my cheeks on my palms as I stared at the small pond in front of me, that was shining with the effect of the sun.

Just by staring at it made me relax. This was really calming to me. I closed my eyes and took in some fresh air, until I felt a tap on my shoulder.

Shifting my head behind me only to see Luhan standing there smiling at me uncomfortably. I looked at him, feeling awkward as I moved a bit to the other side of the bench so he could seat.

And he did. He looked at me and rub the back of his neck, “Hey...” he trailed off. I blinked at him and turn away, not daring to answer him. I just couldn’t. Not right now.

Hearing him sighed as he moved a bit, “Are you going to ignore me from now on...? Because of what happened yesterday?” he asked, and I still didn’t answer. Although I really wanted to say that It’s fine and I forgive him.

“I’m sorry! I really am! I don’t want you to ignore me! Please forgive me!!” he begged and slightly shook my arms. I couldn’t help but grin at his childish attempt to apologize.

I took a peek over my shoulders to see him pouting at me. I chuckled and turn around to face him. He tilted his head at me as I saw his eyes a bit watery.

“Alright you’re forgiven.” I smiled at him, and the next thing I know, he was already hugging me tight. I laughed a bit and hugged him back.

“Thank you thank you thank you thank you!” he repeated and sway me from left to right making me laugh again, “You know I couldn’t be mad at you for too long.” I whispered.

My whole body suddenly froze, when he kissed my cheeks before pulling away. He looked at me and as I saw him flushed a bit and looked away.

I went back to my senses and just decided to forget it, when I remembered the thing about me and Jandi being sisters.

Taking a deep breath, as I filled my inner self some courage. Once I did I forced myself to look at his eyes, “Luhan, I need to ask and tell you something.” I said.

He looked at me for awhile and nodded, “Go on...”

“Jandi’s your girlfriend right?” I asked, as I got ready to say the next few words, knowing what he’ll say already.

“No.” he answered, making me caught off guard, “What?” I blurted out and stared at him in confusion. His answer wasn’t what I expected.

“She isn’t my real girlfriend.” He sighed and rubbed his temple with two fingers, “she said she likes me for the past three years that we’ve met and just one day she kissed me. Turns out that someone saw that and took a picture, with her still kissing me, before I could even pull away.”

“I started to fumed and got a bit angry at her for doing that, but I couldn’t really hurt a girl.” He paused for a moment, while I just listened to it, “Me and my friends went to school one day and when someone suddenly ask me about how me and Jandi got together. And so on.” He said, looking bored right now, “she said that we’re dating and all, and let’s just say the student population believed that.”

He looked at me as I was so engrossed in hearing out his speech, which isn’t really a speech as he pinch my cheeks, “What were you going to say anyways? You said you needed to ask and tell me something.” He said, as I snap back to reality.

I hesitantly open my mouth to say a few words, but close them back again. I bit my lips and just decided to tell it, “Well... I was about to say.. Uhm. Jandi’s my... Sister.” I let out a breath as I manage too forced those words out of my mouth.

Luhan looked at me and laughed, “Yeah right, like I’ll believe that.” He continue to laugh, but abruptly stop when he saw me looking at him weirdly, “... you’re serious?” he asked and I simply nodded.

He gulp as I tried to explain it clearly, “Well, stepsisters to be exact.” I said and looked at his reaction. “You have got to be kidding me.” He said and made a face.

I made a face back, “I am not to be kidding you.” I smiled a bit and totally looked blank and confused right now. I looked at him, and felt like regretting what I said. Should I even have told him that?

He stood up all of a sudden making me jump a bit as I lift my head up to look at him, “Why ar-” I started but stop when I saw him walking away. Not even taking a mere glance or look at me as he kept walking.

I tried to catch up but he was too fast and was already out of my sight. I scratch my head as I looked around.

Why did he walk away? Did it affect him when I told that Jandi’s my sister? But why? What’s wrong with him?

________________________________________________________________________________________