The funny thing about her letters are I’m getting more relaxed as they come to a close, looking at her letters I imagine her laughing softly to herself on some while crying during others. I know I’ve cried while reading them, rereading them trying to imagine the hurt I’ve been the root for, Soon-Kyu soon, just three more letters. That’s what scares me, only fifteen left until I go to find her, go to tell her my reasons to why I love her so much.

Ripping the letter open while sitting on the balcony I look over the neighborhood Soon-Kyu loves so much, wondering if she misses it.

Dear Onew,

                It’s sort of strange to think that in just a few more days all this will be over, I’ll be waiting for you to come praying to god that you’ll show, that you won’t be late..I think that’ll break my heart the most.

Onew remember when we first met and we’d take turns staying nights at each other’s places, we’d make lists. We wade so many, things we wanted in life, what we aspired to do before we got too old, grocery lists, lists of why we didn’t want our lives to change, why we did want them to change, all the countless things we’ve done since we’d met. Onew I miss those nights a lot, just us a pen and paper writing out our dreams for us to know, our wants, needs, insecurities. Do you ever think about them anymore? I know it was years and years ago but it’s a special memory I keep close, in fact I still have some of the lists we made, we were a bit foolish back then, but then again we’re in love.

Reason Eighty Six: The endless lists we made together

Or the times we’d spend all day just watching movies, those days were good too. Snuggling up on the couch giggling, crying, me gripping your arms for dear life depending on the movie. And if we really liked the movie us quoting it all the time, us being a couple. I like those days. A day for us to just relax and have fun, the days when we never thought much of all the times we’ve created, it’s sort of ironic the simple whatever days we had are some of the most important memories I’ve ever made.

Reason Eighty Seven: Movie nights, plus us quoting the movie

I know your friends got irritated with our little jokes when we started to giggle randomly, but our little jokes are meaningful. It’s hard to believe we’ve made so many, but then again it has been a long time hasn’t it? Us dating, I was still in school, and you hadn’t even became an idol yet! I still giggle at the jokes, at the moments where we were alone and no one could tell us to stop, or to be quiet, except for Mrs. Kim and Mr. Park, they didn’t appreciate the loud laughter.

Reason Eighty Eight: Our little inside jokes

I liked the days when you didn’t have a schedule so we’d talk and talk about everything that’s happened while we’ve been busy. You never complain about how hard you work, as long as the fans are happy and I was by your side you didn’t care. Onew you’re too amazing do you know that? Always trying so hard to keep people happy around you, and telling me about how exciting it is to be on stage. You’d then listen to me talk about my day, as if it were just as interesting to you as yours are to me. Then before we knew it, it’d be morning.

Reason Eighty Nine: Talking the whole night away without even realizing it

Onew this next reason marks a countdown, we’ve almost made it to the end…

Sitting on our computers playing songs making playlists for each other on our iPods for the day, week or however long they needed to be. Putting sad songs, happy songs, whatever it’d take to help us get through the day, to get you through touring without you, and me to get through having to stay alone while waiting for you to come back home. I listen to mine every night, knowing you picked them just for me makes me smile, still being a part of my life.

Reason Ninety: Making music playlists

The next letter will be on your door, I’ll put it there.

And here is your last clue: Where you find the last letter you find me

Soon-Kyu <3

Sighing happily thinking of all the times we did do those things, and how long it’s been I pull out the pad, rereading all my reasons, and trying to pick my next five.

Reason Eighty Six: Kissing you in the rain

Reason Eighty Seven: Hearing you explain how it feels to be in love

Reason Eighty Eight: The sensation I get in my stomach when you come close

Reason Eighty Nine: You’re like the peanut butter and I’m the jelly we’re meant to be together

Reason Ninety: You smile at me like I’m your world, and I feel like you’re the only reason I’m breathing anymore

Two more chapters, maybe three (: 

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