Picking up my mail, looking at it all, bills, random stuff, some of the magazines that we’re subscribed to, some of Soon-Kyu’s mail, setting it all aside, until I see the light purple envelope, addressed to me with Soon-Kyu’s hand writing. ‘Loving you still’

Smiling setting down all the mail at the kitchen table I pulling the stack of letters from her closer to me, rereading all of them, missing her all the more, hating that this is the only way for me to have contact, sort of… Opening her letter I smile reading the first line.

Dear Onew,

                First of all, I’d like you to know, I’ll be leaving clues, not every letter but in some of them, it won’t be difficult, it’ll be something like CLUE. So don’t worry about missing them, my first CLUE is…

The place I’m staying is in Seoul, close to a place in Seoul I frequent. Sorry if it’s a bit vague but you got to figure them out, maybe make a list of the clues I leave? I’m still not quite sure how many clues I’ll have for you.

When I think about you Onew, always and every time without fail, my heart begins to pound, I start to get jittery, my breathing becomes irregular and my face begins to heat up. You may think I’m joking but each time I write one of these letters my heart starts beating so sporadically that I can’t just sit and write one letter, I have to stop and let myself calm down.

Reason Fifty One: The way my heart begins to pound at just the thought of you

You know that I love SHINee, but I don’t listen to you guys like your fans, I have, had, the real things in my life, I never really had to go far for you guys to see and hang out with, to hear your voice. Your voice is so addictive; it really doesn’t take much for me to have it replay over and over in my head. And all your sweet songs you have playing in the background, or the song where you moan in the back ground drives me insane. I love it all so much.

Reason Fifty Two: Your voice getting stuck in my head

Writing letters to you is difficult because I know you’re only a phone call away. All this could end, and you could tell me all the reasons why if I’d call you, let you know where I am. It’s a terrible temptation, staying strong is difficult when my weakness is you, and each reason I’ve listed so far and have yet to list. Onew, I’m glad you’re respecting the fact and not calling me, although I’m sure it’s crossed your mind like it has mine. Just a few more letters, a few clues to solve and we could be only a phone call away.

Reason Fifty Three: Knowing that you’re only a phone call away

At night when I lie in bed and think about you, I smile just a bit knowing how I feel about you, how crazy I am about you, that I’d do just about anything just to make sure you’re happy, what also makes me smile when I think about this is that you’d do the exact same thing, and have. Onew just by taking this seriously, and actually reading the letters, scanning them, and whatever it is you do when reading them has made me at ease. Onew I’m hoping you feel the same way about me as I do you…

Reason Fifty Four: Knowing you feel the same way about me…I hope

Every time I feel a little bit odd, I’d like to think it’s you thinking about me, trust me I think about you ALL the time, it is sort of crazy how much I think of you. Onew I like to remember all the good times, and even the bad times. Because all the times I have that have any sort of worth to me deal with you being in my life. I wouldn’t be anywhere near as happy if you weren’t there sharing my life with me.

Reason Fifty Five: I like to think you’re thinking of me

Onew will you do me a favor? I hope so, hearing you on SHINee, and watching your music videos isn’t enough. Will you leave me one simple message on my phone, it’ll be turned off for a while so I’m not tempted to answer, but I’d like to hear you voice. Please?

Soon-Kyu<3

Staring at the last line, she wants me to call she’s never asked before… Grabbing my cell phone I dial her number, the voice tells me it’s gone straight to voice mail.

“Soon-Kyu I miss you a lot too. I love you… I’m making my list of reasons too, don’t worry I’m making them. I’m excited to prove to you that I’m in love with you and you only, you’re always on my mine so don’t worry about it and please don’t doubt my love… It’s Onew obviously, and I love you.” I leave the message hoping it’s enough to stir her to stay and let me explain my reasons, each and everyone.

Hanging up I take out a pad of paper ready to add my next five reasons.

Reason Fifty One: How much I look forward to seeing you again

Reason Fifty Two: The way you’d kiss my cheek to calm me down before shows

Reason Fifty Three: How you know exactly what to do to make me, and the rest of SHINee smile

Reason Fifty Four: You take care of me, and smile when I take care of you

Reason Fifty Five: When you get sick, you demand for me to get out because you’re scared I’ll get sick too, but I’m already love sick

Sorry for the wait, but I lost all the reasons I had written down, and I was looking for them like crazy @W@;; Found them, he-he, enjoy this chapter!

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