I’ve been dreading coming to the swings, I haven’t been in such a long time, the last time I was here Soon-Kyu and I had been walking by when she dragged me over here, begging me to push her I never could tell her no. “Arshi, where are you?” I mumble picking the letter up, holding it in my hands, hoping for some kind of clue, I miss her, and I need to tell her that "I love you."

It’s been such a long time since she left, I just want her back…That and this will hold the piece for half-way done, half-way until I get the chance to explain how important she is to me.

Dear Onew,

                I’m sure you realize that you’re very close to where I used to live, but maybe you have a lot on your mind these days. It’s sort of strange not being able to hear how your day is or to have you ask me how mine is. I’m sorry if I hurt you in my last letter, but I thought maybe you should know. I hope you’re not too distressed over it…

‘I love you’, that’s what you told me here, for the very first time, I remember it so well, and I hold the notion close to my heart. You’d been so nervous; it was beginning to make me nervous too. Then as you were pushing me you stopped, and just blurted out that you’ve been in love with me since the moment you saw me in the coffee shop.

Reason Forty Six: The Swing Set, where you confessed ‘I love you’

Of course that night was also the first time we spent the night together, the next morning we’d decided to go to the little café to reminisce. Walking in we took our seats at the table you spotted me studying at, and you told me every thought that ran through your mind when you saw me, and I told you how I noticed you when you walked in, quickly trying to stop blushing, you’re incredibly attractive.

Reason Forty Seven: The little café where we first met, and then poured our hearts out to each other

I miss the times when we’d just put on a pair of shows and jacket depending on the weather and walked, hand in hand. All the time we’d talk about our dreams, how much our lives have changed with each other part of them. Onew, you’ve changed my life forever, it’s hard to imagine my life without you, not having you around hurts…

Reason Forty Eight: The long walks we too because we were so in love

After we’d moved in together you’d set up a special dinner for us, it was amazing, the mood-lightning, the music playing softly in the background, the table completely set for two, to sit right next to each other. You’re amazingly sweet, and you always have been.

Reason Forty Nine: The Kitchen table dates you planned out for us

This next reason will mark the mid-point. Ten more letters after this one, I’ll start hinting about my where about soon. Sorry, anyways although I always complained I always enjoyed having dinner with Taemin, Minho, Jonghyun and Kibum, I’m sorry you thought I didn’t like them, I love them, enjoyed them…

Reason Fifty: Dinner with your friends

I’m sorry that this is what we’re reduced to. Me, and you not seeing each other, at least you don’t see me, and leaving letters for you to find and read and possibly decipher, not only that but it probably tears you apart just a little on the inside like me.

Soon-Kyu <3

Reason Forty Six: You’re completely adorable when you pout

Reason Forty Seven: You never seemed to stop smiling around me

Reason Forty Eight: How it’s completely impossible to read you

Reason Forty Nine: The way you’ve put up with the fans and all the stress that comes from dating an idol

Reason Fifty: You cheered me up whenever I needed you, and all you had to do was smile at me and take my hand.

Soon-Kyu I’m sorry I betrayed you.

Half way done :O I can't belive it!

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