Jaejoong

I couldn’t help myself from wondering why Yunho is here. I watched him introduce himself in class just like when we were in high school. If I could only read his mind, I’ve done it before. Yunho doesn’t seem to stop making me fluster. Urgh. I don’t even have any idea why I’m saying that I’m flustered. Flustered because of what? His presence? I shook my head repeatedly. I didn’t want to think about anything right now, especially about Yunho. I sighed, calming my thoughts and met Yoora’s gaze. That shocked me.

Oh right. I have an official girlfriend now and everyone knows that. Even Yunho does. I wonder what he was thinking about when he saw me and Yoora. I saw his reaction, which was unreadable. But anyway, this is going to be different now. Yoora is my first ever official girlfriend (Aya was my fake girlfriend, remember?) and Yoora seems to be touched of the way I courted her. I never wanted to do that.

It was a dare.

Yoochun, Junsu and Changmin know that. In fact, Changmin was the one who started this kind of stupid game and we all agreed to do anything in the name of friendship and of course, the game itself.

It was last week at night when Changmin, Junsu and I gathered together to Yoochun’s condominium. It was the death anniversary of his late parents and since he’s living on his own, he celebrates his parents’ death anniversary usually alone. It was that first night when he thought about inviting us, his best friends. He doesn’t even celebrate with his younger sister, Yoora (who is now my girlfriend), since Yoora lives with his great grandmother. Yoochun once said that he wanted to live alone so he could move on and that might even take more than a year or forever even until he marries someone he loves. He even said that it doesn’t matter if the one he marries would be a girl or a guy. I laughed at that joke because I could relate to it, but I didn’t show him that I could actually relate to it like a million times ‘yes’. 

“So, let’s see who the bottle points. We had a deal okay?” Changmin raised the empty plastic bottle and spanned it. Immediately, my jaw dropped in disbelief.

“You cheated.” I accused.

“No, I didn’t. The bottle moved by itself, and well, sad to say, but it’s pointing at you.” Changmin winked an eye at me and stared at me for a brief moment. Yoochun and Junsu did the same. Really, they are taunting me. I was so nervous that I might not like the ‘dare’ that they are going to make me do (especially if Changmin thinks of something really unbelievable). This is the main reason why I hate ‘Spin the Bottle’ so much. It’s the same thing as the game ‘Tag’, always making me bothered that I might get caught or that I’d have to do something I absolutely disapprove to do, but then I’ll have no choice at all. I guess being the loser in a game makes me feel like a double loser.

“Fine, fine.” I gave up and crossed my arms over my chest. “So, what do you want me to do?”

“Court Yoora.” Changmin said.

“What?!” Anyone but not Yoochun’s sister! I looked at Yoochun with big eyes, I was hoping that maybe he’d lecture Changmin for using his sister’s name in our little childish game; however, he just nodded his head in agreement. “What? You agree with him? But Yoora’s your sister!” I demanded. “I don’t even like her. I don’t want to court her.”

“Well, it’s what Changmin says.” Yoochun said.

“You just have to try Jaejoong,” Junsu teased. “Who knows? Maybe she’d say she doesn’t like you and then dump you because you are just her older brother’s best friend.”

“Yeah,” I thought about it. “But what if she says yes, then are we going to be in a relationship like for real?”

“Much better. Your Facebook status will be changed from ‘single’ to ‘in a relationship with Park Yoora’.” Changmin said, laughing along with Junsu.

I looked at Yoochun with puppy eyes, pleading him not to let me do this kind of stuff. “Yoochun, please, don’t make me court your sister.” I said, trying to act cute. It might work.

“It’s final. You will have to do that dare, Jae.” Yoochun said.

Defeated, I am. Acting cute didn’t work at all. “Yoochun! No way!” I complained.

That night, it took a long time before I decided to stop complaining that I didn’t want to court Yoora because she’s not my type.

Absolutely not. I mean, I’d rather date Yoochun or Junsu or Changmin, but not Yoora. It’s been years since I found out that I’m never going to get attracted to a woman. I’m not gay, I’m a guy. It’s just my heart that doesn’t want a woman to love, but a man to love instead.

“What should I call you? Yeobo? Hubby?” Now I’m back to the present and my mind had to be focused on my girlfriend who just can’t shut . Yoora kept on bugging me during lunchtime. I eyed Yoochun to make her stop, but he just silently laughed. Why? Is it funny? No! It’s not funny! I shouted on my mind. If I can’t go wild and honest in reality, then fine, I’ll just do it on my mind.

“Yoora,” I began. “Let’s just call each other our names.” Yoora pouted.

“Oppa.” And then she smiled. “I want to call you oppa.”

“Why? I’m not your older brother.”

“But you’re older than me. Aren’t you?” She smiled sweetly. She can be nice, but I hate it when she keeps on clinging at me. I hate the atmosphere right now. I thought.

I was again losing myself when I saw Yunho. I had no idea what Yoora was saying because I was now focusing my attention on Yunho. He was drinking a bottle of orange juice while standing by the side with his back leaning on the peach colored wall.

He doesn’t even have a seat or a proper lunch to eat or a new friend. I thought. I was actually happy about that fact. It’s his fault he lost me in the first place, so now he doesn’t have anyone to be by his side. How sad.

“Yunho!”

Argh. Now, it’s not sad anymore. It’s that popular basketball player who approached him. Choi Siwon, along with two other girls who are cheerleaders in our school. The four of them talked and it looked like Siwon was recruiting Yunho to join the basketball team.

I hate this scene.

“No loser would dare to join them.” I said out of nowhere.

“What?” Yoora asked, dazed.

“Not talking to you,” just when I finished my words, the bell rang. I hurried outside leaving a dumbfounded girlfriend behind me. I heard Changmin said that I wasn’t in the mood because I had a fight. It was a big lie, but I’ll have to thank him about that later. Still, if he doesn’t want me to make my girlfriend sad and left behind, then why can’t he be her boyfriend instead? I’m now really frustrated, even my nose is flaring like a train’s.

I was walking fast along with other students. I suddenly stopped walking when I saw Yunho.

“H-How?” I stared at him from a distant. Just a while ago he was in the cafeteria chatting with his new friends and now he’s sitting under my favorite huge peach tree while reading a whatsoever book? I clenched my fist tight and looked around to get something to hit Yunho so he’d leave my favorite spot. “Just you wait. I’ll show you I am stronger than you.” I growled and grabbed someone’s football.

“Hey! That’s mine!” A young football player tried to get it back, but with one glare at him, he stepped back and gulped. This is exactly what I like about being popular around the campus. People are scared to refuse you. What a relief.

Then I looked back at Yunho. So serious, so – annoying. He’s provoking me! Truth is, it’s not only because he’s on my favorite spot, but also because I hate him. As simple as that.

“Now let me show you the first step of my revenge.” I mumbled. “Jung Yunho, this is for breaking my heart: to break your head.” I swung my arm and threw the ball as hard as I can.

It flew up, up and up until it landed on his head.

“Ya!” Yunho scowled once the ball hit him hard on his head and stood up. I hastily ran away where he can’t see me before he caught me.

* * *

After my last subject, I went out of my classroom and received a text message from Yoochun. He’s now waiting for me outside. We had a promise that we’ll have to go to school together and go home together since between the two of us, he’s the only one who owns a car. I had one before, but when Mom used my car to go to her meeting with an old friend, she had a slight accident with my car so now my car is broken as in completely damaged. Mom asked me if she should buy me a new one, but I told her not to. That car was the first car that captivated me the most, it is precious then it’s just gone. I’m not switching cars unless I find a car that is similar to my first one.

The whole school campus was now silent. I guess I’ve spent too much time in my last subject considering that I asked my female teacher to tutor me about the Math problem I couldn’t understand. It took so long. Maybe, half an hour or more? I couldn’t really concentrate with a female teacher who keeps on staring at me with lust.

Eww. I can’t imagine it.

On my way out, I sent a message to Yoochun saying sorry that I was late. I bet he’s going to laugh at me once he sees me and the message I sent him.

I paused walking when I heard squeaks of a rubber shoes on the tiled floor of the basketball gym. It lured me in with the thought that maybe it is Yoochun inside, playing basketball again while waiting for me leave my class.

“Yoochun?” I called. There it goes again, the squeaks of whoever’s a rubber shoe it is and the echoes of a ball tapping on the floor. “Yoochun, is that you?”

“Jaejoong!” I almost fell on the floor while clutching my heart. I was so petrified. I could have died with a heart attack when Yunho’s face suddenly loomed closer to mine. I didn’t even notice him coming.

I opened my mouth to say something, but I decided not to.

“Jaejoong!” Yunho said again. He was smiling so bright, it gave me an urge to run away from him or maybe punch his face so that that smile he’s showing would fade away. “Jaejoong, I’m so happy to finally see you.”

Oh my God. What am I going to say in a situation like this? This situation is serious. The person I used to love who dumped me and left me without saying goodbye is now standing in front of me.

“D-Do- I k-know you?” I asked, staggering.

“Eh? What do you mean? Did you forget about me?”

I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to say. I can’t just say that I have amnesia right? Because that would be an obvious lie.

“Really?” Yunho was now looking so worried. He even wanted to touch me, but I guess he backed down. “It’s me, Yunho. Jung Yunho. Don’t you remember me?”

I just can’t make any drama anymore. I have to be straightforward. I took a deep breath and smiled at Yunho. “Yunho? Ah. That Yunho.” Yunho smiled again. “Jung Yunho… Wow. You really are Yunho. You have the same tiny eyes! I never noticed that you didn’t change at all! How come I didn’t notice you at first?”

Yunho laughed. “That’s good to know. Well, maybe it’s because I changed my hairstyle.”

“Aha. I see.” I should be going!

“You didn’t change at all too. That’s why I knew it was you the moment I came inside the class.”

“Right.” I nodded my head, kept a smile on my face and looked at my wrist. Epic Fail! I don’t have a watch. “Uhm,” I looked up at Yunho. “So, uhm, what time is it? I mean, I should be going home. I have an important appointment tonight. Bye!” I turned my back on him and took a few paces away from him until he called me back. I stopped walking.

“Wait… Jae,” Yunho began. That moment, I really didn’t have the confidence to turn around and face him. “Jae. Why didn’t you come?”

Wait. Come? Go where? I furrowed my eyebrows and turned around to face him with a questionable look. He doesn’t mean the airport, right? Was he really expecting me for no apparent reason?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I said.

I stood still, frozen on my spot. Yunho didn’t say anymore. He just walked towards me and hugged me. In an instance, I was dumbfounded.

“I missed you Jae.”

Of course, he’d miss me. He was my best friend. We were. I decided to end it all when he left me with just one photo of the two of us during our graduation day. I briskly pulled away from his tight hug and gawked at him. I wanted to say those angry words to him. I wanted to yell at him that I hate him so much. I really wanted to tell him to just get the hell out of my sight because I can’t bear seeing him.

“,” was all that I could say. I took off. I walked away from him.

* * *

“I can’t believe you really did that dare.” Yoochun said while driving.

I suddenly went back to reality when Yoochun talked after all that silence. I looked at him and cleared my throat. “I’m sorry. I thought you would get mad at me if I didn’t do that.” I said. “Yoochun, are you mad of me?”

“No,” he smiled. “Just don’t hurt her.”

“E-Eh?”

“Don’t hurt her without asking my permission.”

“So… If I ask you if I can break up with her, then can I do that just as long as you agree?”

Yoochun just fixed his eyes on me. 

“Don’t look at me like that.” I laughed. “Drive.” Yoochun continued to drive. I didn’t mind the silence between us again. I just thought that he’s not in the mood or just bothered with the fact that I’m actually dating his younger sister.

My phone started ringing all of a sudden. I pulled it out of my pocket and saw the name of the caller in the front page.

“Who is it?” Yoochun asked.

“Just mom.” I replied and turned my phone into silent mode then put it at the backseat of the car.

“Why aren’t you answering her calls?”

“I’m not in the mood to talk to her.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.”

“Well then… Don’t just leave your phone there… You might forget about it.”

“I won’t forget about it.” Slowly, I felt sleepy. “Yoochun, can you wake me up when we arrive?” I yawned.

* * *

 I was like a walking zombie when I arrived home. Mom started lecturing me not to go home late ever again (it’s not even late; it’s only 8 P.M.), and she even thought that maybe I was out drinking with my friends or smoking or learning drugs. I told her she’s exaggerating.

“Then why didn’t you answer your phone?!” Mom asked, angry.

“I was tired.” I said quickly.

“If you’re tired then give me your phone. Let’s just throw it away!” Now, she’s over acting, which is annoying. “Give it to me!” Her voice was getting louder.

I stared at her and talked to her in a soft voice. All I have to do to calm her down is calm myself as well. “Mom, you don’t need to throw it. I promise to answer your calls next time.”

“If you don’t give it to me, I’ll have to make you leave school.” She threatened.

“You wouldn’t do that.” I dared her. “If you do that, I’ll have no job and you will have no one to be proud of.”

“Jaejoong. I said give it to me. NOW.” Now she’s too much, I thought.

“Tch,” I clicked my tongue in anger and grudgingly gave up and give my phone to Mom. However, it wasn’t in my pocket. I tried my other pockets from pants to my jacket. “Where is it?” I mumbled to myself.

“What? Did you lose your phone?!”

 “Mom-” I looked away and thought about my phone. Where had I left it? Suddenly, I remembered. “Aha! I know where it is! Wait, I’ll go get it!” I didn’t let my mom say anymore, I just quickly took off in a hurry while rubbing the back of my head and calling myself an idiot.

I hailed a taxi and get inside. I was on my way to Yoochun’s condominium when I found someone familiar riding in a black motorbike with a helmet on his head. I knew from the very first sight that it was Yunho. Why is it that I always feel unlucky every time I see him? Then again, I couldn’t stop staring at his unlucky face. I cursed myself and looked away from Yunho.

Shortly, I arrived outside Yoochun’s condominium. I decided to check his car first but the doors were locked so I could only take a little peek.

“It’s not here,” I pouted at myself. My phone wasn’t there anymore, so I guess Yoochun found it and brought him inside with him. But I didn’t want to get inside his house. I still feel guilty and ashamed for being his younger sister’s first boyfriend who doesn’t even love her.

Or I can just let my cellphone be returned to me tomorrow? Mom would forget about confiscating my phone.

But still, I don’t want Mom to get mad at me again! Be strong, Jae. I told myself on my mind.

* * *

I heard a beautiful melody playing as I get inside Yoochun’s condominium. He wasn’t opening the door so I opened it myself. After all, I know his password. His birth-date.

Yoochun is probably busy playing with his piano that’s why he didn’t hear the doorbell. As I listened to the melody, I remembered him playing it before. It was the same tune with the song he composed himself about the person that captured his heart unexpectedly. He even gave the unfinished song the title ‘The Forbidden Love’. It made me feel sad for him to have a forbidden love with a girl.

I opened the door to his room and found him walk away from his piano. He took a bottle of vodka and drank it as he sat on a chair in front of his study table.

Is he drunk? I thought.

I was about to approach him and take that vodka away from him when he suddenly touched a photo frame of me and him. I thought that maybe he was just simply drunk and thought that that picture is an image of him and the girl he loves so deeply but…

“Jaejoong…” He called my name.

I was stunned for a moment until I shook my head and finally approached him.

“Stop drinking. You’re drunk already.” I said in a motherly manner.

“Jaejoong…” He said in a low voice and then he opened the drawer of his study table slowly.

“You’re not going to get another drink, are you?” I asked insolently.

Well, he didn’t. Instead, he handed me my phone.

“Yoochun…”

“Jaejoong…”

Seriously? Yoochun, is that all you can say? “Jaejoong”? Actually, this is not the first time that this kind of funny thing happened. Every time he’s drunk, he says people’s name over and over again. At least he doesn’t do weird things like kiss other people you’re not even close to, right?

After a few minutes, a drunken Yoochun, my best friend, walked me outside.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to walk you home?” He asked with a disgusting smell of vodka coming out of his mouth.

“No. I don’t want you to lose your way back home.” I joked. “Err. I’ll just go ahead okay? You take care. See you tomorrow.” I turned my back and walked past him.

“Jaejoong, wait.” I was unaware when he grabbed my wrist and embraced me in his arms. My eyes almost pop out. First, Yunho hugged me and then Yoochun. First, the ex-best friend and now the current best friend.

“Yoochun, what’s wrong?” I asked out of the blue.

There upon, I saw Yunho looking at us.

Yunho, the man whom I hate the most and gave me an urge to break his heart for breaking my heart. 

How? I thought and looked down as I hug Yoochun back.