Siwon's P.O.V. 

For him only...

My eyes burned as I try to open them. The sun is shining extra bright this morning and I have no idea why the shutters are wide open. I know I always have them closed... 

I shifted on my spot, trying to turn away from the harsh light. Then a sudden attack of headache hit me as I settled myself in a new position. 

Ugh. This is the worst case of hangover... I think it's that last glass of Gin & Tonic that did the job. 

Then the sound of the doorbell erupted. I thought about ignoring it and just stay in bed, but my visitor seems persistent. Why didn't I let my father hire that butler for me again? 

I gathered strength and tried to get up. Slowly. Once my feet met the floor and I was standing up, my headache grew worse. I caressed my temples with one hand because it certainly feels like it will explode in a snap. 

I walked lazily towards the door and opened it. 

"Siwon? You look... you look tired?" I watched Stella's confused expression while she eyed me from head to toe.

"Good morning to you too, Stella", I replied with a sarcastic tone. 

She giggled. Her face suddenly brightened up and said, "I'm sorry. That was rude of me. Good morning, Siwon". 

I faked a smile as a response. "So, what are you doing here?" 

"Uhm. May I come in?" 

"Oh, yeah. Sure. I'm sorry. Come in". I stepped aside to make way for her. She smiled at me then walked inside. I shut the door behind her then watched her while she looked around. 

"These are really sweet, Siwon. It's nice how you keep portraits of your family here. It shows that you're very family oriented". She said while the picture frames placed on the foyer. 

"Oh. That was Donghae's idea to put them there." I said idly. 

Her smile faded then said, "I see. Well, I'm sure your place will stay beautiful with or without them." 

I leaned against the wall and crossed my arms in front my chest. "So what's going on, Stella? You're up early today." What I really meant was: What are you doing so early?

She composed herself then answered, "Oh, I almost forgot. Well... I just wanted to apologize about last night. I didn't mean to walk out on you. I was wrong. As your girlfriend, it's my job to be by your side when you're down. I should've been more supportive. So... I'm sorry, Siwon". 

I blinked at her. She said it... She said she's my girlfriend. Are we really going serious now? I mean, we haven't really talked about the status of our relationship. And... I don't think I'm ready to jump into a new relationship just yet. I don't think I will ever be. 

She stepped closer and said, "I really want to work this thing between us, Siwon..." She placed her hand on my chest. I looked down on her then she tipped her toes and kissed me. 

"Have you had breakfast yet?" She asked.

"Err... No, not yet."

"Oh. Do you wanna go out and grab something to eat? Or maybe... I could cook breakfast for you". She said smiling. Her arms flung around my shoulders. 

"No, it's alright. I have this terrible headache right now." I used a gesture pointing my head.

She dropped her hands. "Oh. Do you have a fever or something?" 

"No. It's just this bad hangover from last night." Then I turned around to the kitchen to get a glass of water. 

"Oh... About that. I felt really bad after I walked out on you. I tried calling your cell, but you weren't answering. So, I went back to the place but you were already gone." She said to my back.

"Yeah. It’s fine. I... I went somewhere else". I went to Donghae's to beg for his love. Then I... I passed out. The last thing I could was blacking out on the hallways. Wait a sec... how exactly did I get here? Did Donghae drive for me? 

Stella's waving hands in front of my face brought me back to this time. "Yeah. What?" 

"I said, where did you go last night?"

"I... I forgot." 

"Don't be silly, Siwon. You weren't that drunk." 

"I don't remember, exactly." 

"Oh, please, Siwon. I know you remember...”

I didn’t reply. Why is she being snoopy anway?

She narrowed her eyes then said, “Were you with another girl?" 

"No!" 

"Then why can't you tell me?" 

"I... I just don't want to." I gave a cold stare. 

She gasped. Her jaws dropped. It’s pretty mean but I have to set boundaries.

"You can be a real jerk, Siwon." She stormed out the door. "I'm happy you got that headache!"

I dreaded in my room all day. Trying to figure out how unfortunate my life is right now. First, I got rejected by the only guy I love. Then, my "girlfriend" is mad at me because I was a "jerk". And now, I have this stupid headache. 

In my head, I also tried to remember how the hell I got back to my place. If Donghae took here then he must still care for me. And I'd like to take this opportunity to thank him. I'd take every chance to talk to him again. I need to win him back. I can’t imagine living my whole like this, without him by my side. He is the reason of my existence. Without him, I feel nothing.

I decided to skip work today because my hangover didn’t let me. And... I just can’t stop thinking how Donghae brought me back here. I imagine him putting me to bed and tucking me in... Just the thought of him taking care of me makes me smile.

Later that evening, while having my supper, the doorbell rang again. I ran and opened it. And surprise, surprise... Stella is standing on my doorstep again.

This time she’s sporting a black strapless dress and black heels. She looks stunning. Her face is beautiful with no make-up and now that she has and all made up, she looks way beyond beautiful. She looks like a goddess. 

"Hi, Siwon." She smiled innocently.

"S-s-stella? What are you doing here?" I checked her out from head to toe. 

"Visiting you again. We started today with the wrong foot, don't you think? So, I'm here to make it up to you." 

I remained speechless. She noticed I was staring down at her and said, "You like what you see?" 

"Y-yeah... I mean, you look gorgeous, Stella". 

"Why, thank you." She smirked. 

"Are you going to invite me in or not?"

"Yeah, come in." 

"So what's up, Stella? Did you come here from a party or something?" 

"No, silly. I dressed up for you. I want to look beautiful for my man."

Huh? What is she up to? I frowned at her.

"Take a good look, Siwon. This is what you'll get if you choose me." 

"Choose you? Wh-what are you talking about?" 

"I know your secret, Siwon. I know about you and Donghae."

"Uh... W-wha... How?"

"I noticed how you watched him at Jessica's party. The way you talked about him that night. You're head over heels for him, Siwon." 

How did she know about this? What is she doing? My eyebrows met as I watch her. My eyes trying to make out her intention. Unlike me, she’s staring back with a cool expression. As if she knew this was going to happen.  

When I figured that she’s not backing down. I opened my mouth and managed to say, "Yes. I love Donghae. More than anything in this world." 

She sighed heavily. "Why Siwon?! He's a guy!" She walked towards me. "He can never give you the things I could."

She took my hand and placed it on her chest. She has this dark look on her face. 

"Feel this, Siwon. Feel me up. Feel how a real woman feels like." She held my face with her other hand. I froze and remained speechless. She took my face closer to hers and put her lips on mine. 

Her lips felt the same as before. Soft yet aggressive. Just like Donghae's. Then suddenly, his face was all I could think of. It reminded me how much I miss him... how much I love him.

I took away my hand from her and stepped back. "No, Stella. My heart is for Donghae only. I was made to love him... I'm sorry." 

"Do you really think you can live happily ever after with him? You are blinded by infatuation, Siwon. You're overlooking the things you really need. He... he can't offer you the things only a woman... only I can give. Like children, Siwon... Like---"

"ENOUGH! I don't need a woman in my life! All I need is Donghae. And there's nothing you can about that. There may be things you think I need, but it doesn't matter. I will win Donghae back and have him in my arms again. Then my life will be complete."

"Siwon... Just listen to yourself. You're throwing your life away!" She took my hand again. "Be with me. I can offer you better things than Donghae.. Love me Siwon and I promise I'll never leave your side. I'll do anything for you, Siwon... Love me..." She leaned again but I pushed her back. 

"No, Stella." 

"I’ll do anything!" She hugged me from my waist. I untangled her arms and pushed her back.  

"Please, leave." She’s panting as her tears fall uncontrollably.  

"He’s not right for you, Siwon..." 

"Just leave, Stella. Please." 

She at looked me for a moment. Then she bit her trembling lips and blinked hard. Then she walked out.

I sat on the couch and buried my face on my palms.

I know some of the things she said were right... We may never have a happily ever after like a normal couple would. And have children and build a family... But all of these things don’t matter to me. All I want in my life is to take care of Donghae and grow old with him. Even it’s just the two of us.  

He’s all I want... and he’s all I’ll ever need.