Siwon's P.O.V. 

An eye for an eye, a kiss for a kiss 

Before realizing my love for Donghae, I fooled around with some girls. Trying to convince myself that I wasn’t falling for a man. And Stella was one of those. We dated for about a year, you can’t say it’s love. We were both young and I didn’t really take our relationship seriously.

When she sent me a message the other night, I immediately thought of seeing her and just forget about everything. She clearly does not have a clue about what just happened to me. And right now, I thought that being with someone who won't remind me of the break-up would be good for me.

I met up with Stella yesterday at a coffee shop. We hanged out and talked about life. I let her do most of the talking because I didn't really have good things to say right now. And I definitely didn’t want to vent out my pain and troubles on her. So I just smiled and listened throughout. 

Stella is a nice girl. She's pretty, she's smart and she came from a good family. She was definitely the kind of person I wanted to marry, but then Donghae came and changed my whole perception. 

She asked me if I wanted to come to Jessica’s birthday party together. I wasn’t planning to show up but since Stella is persistent. I said yes.

At first, I didn't mind coming as her date. But then I saw the look on Donghae's face. It bothers me seeing that expression on me. I wished that I could come up to him and hold him in my arms.

He obviously wasn’t happy seeing me with Stella. What would he think about this? Will he get jealous? I want to know. And there’s only one way to find out.

All throughout the night, I did my part and acted like Stella’s date. Donghae and I disregarded of each other. He did his own thing and I continued to make moves to get him jealous. I pretended not to care and have fun. But I kept a watchful eye on him. Observe his every move, spy on him and Eunhyuk, and catch him giving quick glances on me. I didn’t know what to feel with what I’m doing. It hurts that I’m here standing next to my ex-girlfriend rather walking up to Donghae and tell him that I’ll always love him.

Taeyeon suddenly made a comment about Stella and I, and I knew Donghae heard it. He cocked his to our direction and his body stiffened. I smiled and pulled out an act. He stood up from his seat then walked out of the restaurant. 

I was worried for him. I wanted to follow him and confront him. But Stella pulled my hand and introduced me to some people. So, I stood there and watched as Eunhyuk do my job. 

The SNSD girls made a plan to continue the party to another venue and Stella begged that me to come. Since I didn’t want to stop drinking, I agreed then tagged Yesung-hyung, Kyuhyun and Amber along with me. 

We decided to leave and headed out to the door. Stella and the girls wanted to take some pictures first so I exited alone. 

I got out and the first thing I saw was Hae's head on Eunhyuk's shoulder. Hyuk's arm was wrapped on Hae's lower back. I can’t believe what I’m seeing. It felt totally unacceptable. I was beyond mad and jealous. I clenched my fists and plotted my next move. I want to pull Hae away and kick the monkey's . 

I was about to come to them when I felt Stella's hand on my arm. I looked back and she said, "Let's go?"

Her touch eased my shaking nerves. I took a last look on Hae and Hyuk then relaxed myself. I nodded at Stella then forced a smile. 

We passed by the love birds, and I decided to play along. I took Stella's hand then held it. I know Donghae's watching. And I want him to watch. If he's making me jealous, then two can play that game. 

Stella and I walked out hand in hand.  Presenting ourselves as an official couple. I know what I'm doing is wrong and the guys might see me as a bad person. But I don't care. I can't keep my feelings getting in the way in my life. I'm a young and successful guy, I deserve to have fun. 

The next stop was a pub called Aura. The crowd was fine and the place wasn't packed, which is a good thing. We ordered buckets of soju. And the real fun started.  

We drank the night away and I was actually having a blast. Someone called out and initiated that we play a silly game of Spin the Bottle. 

The first spin was made and it pointed to Kyuhyun. "Truth or dare, Kyuhyun?" Amber smirked at him. He thought about it then exclaimed, "Dare!" Yesung-hyung took charge then dared him to kiss Seohyun for 3 seconds. With Seohyeon’s permission Kyuhyun leaned to her then they kissed. 

The whole gang cheered for them and gave them high-five's. Then it was Kyuhyun's to turn to spin. The bottle stopped directly to me. "Woooh!!" They wailed at me.

"Truth or dare?" Kyuhyun sneered. 

"Dare". I said coolly.

"I dare you to kiss Stella for 5 seconds!" Taeyeon said with an evil grin. Kyuhyun and I exchanged a look.

"No no, not that". I waved my hands at and they booed me.

"Oh c'mon, oppa! It's not like you guys haven't done it before! And besides, Stella doesn't mind right?" I looked at her then she shrugged. "It's just a game, Siwon", she said with a smile. 

"C'mon, Siwonnie. Don't embarrass Super Junior!" Yesung-hyung butted in. I took a deep breath. Yeah... this is just a game. A game between Donghae and I. If he can do it, I can too. 

"Alright!" I said with a smirk. “Are you ready?” I asked Stella cautiously. She nodded in a weird eager way.

I held her face with my hands. She closed her eyes and I did too. I leaned forward then planted a kiss on her lips. 

Her lips were thin and soft. Kind of similar to Donghae's. It reminded me of all the nights I got to tastes Hae’s lips before I sleep. All our beautiful memories that we sealed with a kiss... It’s been a long time since I’ve experienced it. I miss it. I miss Donghae...  

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1!" The countdown ended but I didn’t let go. Stella may not be Donghae, but she gives me the feeling I get from him. I pushed her face closer to mine and kissed her harder. I need another second longer of this pleasurable moment. "Wooh! Get a room, you two!" Then I let go. 

I opened my eyes and saw her smiling at me. That kiss was meant for Donghae... But I gave it to Stella instead. It was wrong... but it felt good. I grabbed a bottle of soju then sat back. I wanted to get out of this place and go home. But that would seem so rude. So I stayed on my place and remained quiet. 

Stella suddenly took my hand and held it. She leaned her on my shoulder then whispered, "I've been waiting for that all night, Siwon. I'm glad you did it". 

I sighed and let her rest. It's the least I could do for using her with the wrong reasons. 

She gives me a temporary feeling of being with Hae. Since the real one is busy getting cozy with Eunhyuk. But I'm going to get my Donghae back... Make him regret being with that stupid monkey.  Make him want me again.  Make him fall in love with me again.

All of this with the help of Stella.