Bomi POV

I wake up suddenly, gasping for air frantically looking around the room before resolving into a sigh.

“It was just a dream.” I whisper to myself and run my hand through my hair.

I dreamt about my dad, about him still being alive. I don’t know whether to think of it as a good dream or a bad one. I miss him, and wish he was still alive but, I know that can never be.

I look out the window and see it is still snowing. They will probably have to stay another day. I look over at Sungjong and see him furrowing his eyebrows. I wonder if he’s having a bad dream also. I soon forget about it when I notice Myungsoo isn’t anywhere to be seen.

Stretching I get up and start looking in the rooms.

“Where did he go?” I ask myself, hoping he didn’t try to go home in this. A thought hits me.

I put on my jacket and boots and head up the attic stairs. And out onto the rooftop patio. Sure enough, there he is in the sun room. He looks at me and seems startled before looking away. I smile lightly and open the door and enter.

“You’re like a cat. I always find you in high places.” I say and sit on the other side of the bench. I watch the thick snow falling. Usually I think about my parents when I watch the snow but right now all I can think about are the things he said to me. And what happened in the bathroom. “Can we talk about what happened in the bathroom?”

I notice him shift in his seat.

“You said you will never accept me, but you were going to let me kiss you.”

“I can’t like you Bomi.”

Can’t? That choice of wording sounds like he’s talking to himself not me.

“Why can’t you?”

“Because. I just can’t”

“You can’t like me or you don’t like me?”

“I can’t…” He stops. We both know that he just made a mistake. A flutter goes through my body. It’s not that he doesn’t like me, he just thinks he’s not allowed. He still blames himself for our moms.

“Myungsoo, I…”

“Why can’t you just like some else? Someone who would actually be good to you.”

“You are good to me.”

“No I’m not.”

“You are. You always stick up for me, whenever I’m in trouble you’re there to help. You scold me if I do something wrong, you held my hand and helped walk through the snow. You are good to me.”

He doesn’t say anything. I can see he’s trying to think of something to say to change my mind.

“Do you like me Myungsoo?” I ask. He doesn’t say anything. “If you stay silent I’m going to take it as a yes.”

“I can’t.” He says after a few seconds. I stare at him for what must be minutes and then something kicks in me.

I move towards him, grab his face and kiss him. Goosebumps and chills go through my body. My heart is racing.

I’m not sure how long I have been kissing him but I do know he is not pulling away. I continue to kiss him soft and slowly. I think I feel him kiss back but I’m honestly not sure.

I pull away and notice my body is numb and I feel like I’m having a heart attack.

“I… I need you to just…” He struggles on what to say. “I need you to leave me alone.”

He sure knows how to throw a dagger.

But, I was expecting that.

“I needed to at least do that.” I say with a shakier voice than I wanted then leave the roof. I don’t want to give up on getting him to accept me, but I know what I’ve been doing is not going to work. So I’m going to do what he asked and leave him alone. Maybe it will work.

The next day it’s not snowing any more but my mom insisted that everyone stay another day because it is still pretty dangerous. Not surprisingly Myungsoo decided to leave anyways. Sungyeol went with him and Hyuna, I pretty much told her to off so she’s not here anymore. Namjoo is going to stay which I’m very glad about because I really don’t want to lounge around the house alone after what happened last night.

“Bomi, are you okay?” Namjoo asks after a while. She must have noticed my gloomy mood. “Is it because of Hyuna?”

“No, that pissed me off but she was not the reason I cried.”

“What is it?”

“Myungsoo.” She smiles knowingly.

“It’s hard but don’t feel too bad. I’ve liked Sungjong for years and I know that he will probably never like me back. But I’m going to keep trying.”

“Yeah, but when do you ever stop? What if we’re chasing forever?”

“It won’t be forever. I already decided that I will give up on Sungjong, when he finds someone he loves. I want to be that person but, I want him to be happy, even if it’s not with me.” she smiles. This is why I like Namjoo. Her feelings are true.

“What if… What if you like someone, and you know they like you back. But they say they can’t, and you know the reason why they can’t. What would you do in that situation?”

“So Myungsoo does like you?” she asks. I don’t want to just say yes because I’m not completely sure that’s true. I mean I know he did when we were kids but that doesn’t mean he does now. But he let me kiss him and he said he can’t like me, not that he didn’t… I just don’t know. I think she sees my confliction and smiles. “Make him jealous.” She states simply.

“What?”

“Bomi, you are in the position I pray night and day for. To be able to make the person you like jealous. If he really does like you, he will get jealous.”

“Myungsoo jealous?” I laugh a bit. “You think?” I ask, feeling slightly excited at the thought.

“Knowing Myungsoo he probably won’t show it that easily but, if you hear him sigh a lot when you’re flirting or whatever with someone else, he’s jealous. If he looks angry… angrier than normal, he’s jealous.”

“Interesting…” I mull over what she told me. I was already going to back off and let him feel my absence a bit, but maybe throwing in some jealousy would help also. “You should do it too.” I say getting excited.

“What?”

“Do it with me.”

“But Sungjong doesn’t like me.”

“That you know of! Listen, my brother doesn’t let people bother him so easily, but I see him letting you follow him around and be around him and he doesn’t complain once. Not even at home. He never complains about you but he’ll express his annoyance at other girls doing it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah! He never complains about you.” I see her face blush and a smile creeps to her face. She shakes her head as if recomposing herself.

“I know you mean well and I want you to be right, but I won’t get my hopes up… but, I’m going to try and make him jealous too.” We both laugh and talk more about plans to accomplish this. We decide to help each other and set up situations.

“Wait, why not start now?” I ask excited as an idea pops in my head.

“Now?”

“Yeah! We’ll go out there. And I’ll call you so your phone rings, and you will pick up and I’ll pretend to be a boy and you be all cutesy and stuff.”

“What?”

“You can do it!”

“Bomi.” She says and starts laughing as I continue to encourage her. She hesitates some more but ultimately we leave my room and go the living room where Sungjong is sitting on the floor eating cereal.

“Want some?” Sungjong asks when he sees us. Namjoo nods enthusiastically like she always does when he talks to her. He gets up and heads to the kitchen and I quickly pinch her arm.

“Ow!” She yelps.

“Focus.” I hiss. She nods and smiles. I clear my throat and hide behind the wall while she goes into the kitchen. As he is grabbing the cereal I take out my phone and call her.

Namjoo freezes when her phone starts to ring. Focus Namjoo!

“Are you going to get that?” Sungjong asks after it rings a few more times.

“Huh? Oh, yeah.” She says nervously and takes it out. Oh I hope this works.

“Hello?”

“Focus Namjoo!” I hiss in the phone from behind the wall. “Call me Joonie.”

“What?”

“Call me Joonie all cutesy! Now!”

“Oh! Hey Joonie~” she coos and I almost die.

“I was worried about you? Did you get home safely? Pretend Joonie said that!”

“You’re crazy.” She mumbles though the phone before responding. “Don’t worry about me, I’m staying at a friend’s house.” She says as nicely as she can.

“That’s it! That’s great! Let’s go out on a date.” I suddenly throw in.

“Date?” She says shocked before covering , clearly she didn’t mean to say that out loud. But it doesn’t matter because Sungjong suddenly stopped pouring the cereal. “I… I… Umm…” She stumbles over her words as if someone really just did ask her out. She’s so cute.

I see him turn his head slightly. Is he waiting to see what she will say?

I hang up.

“Ehh? He-hello? Hello?” She asks and looks confused.

“Here.” Sungjong interrupts and places the bowl, rather loudly, on the table, before returning to the living room. I hide behind the wall until he passes and quickly join her.

“It so worked!” I whisper excitedly to a still dumbfounded Namjoo.

“Oh no! What if he thinks I’m going on a date?” She asks panicked. “I have to explain!”  She jumps up and tries to run after him but I grab her.

“Focus!” I hiss. She goes wide mouthed like she just remembered that that was the point.

“I almost forgot!” She says shocked. “Did it work?” She asks with hope in her eyes. I smile and slowly nod.

“Did you see him basically slam the bowl on the table? He was so jealous!” I say excitedly. She immediately cover with her hands, probably to stop her from screaming. “Are you crying?” I ask when her eyes start to water.

“I’m just happy.” She mumbles and we both laugh.

When school is finally open we set up a plan where she will be in some hallway, talking to some boy, who happens to be one of Namjoo’s friends who agreed to be interested in her. I’m going to be walking with Sungjong and we will happen to walk past her…

“Oh my god!” I say in a whisper and push him behind a wall and pretend to be surprised. “He’s confessing to her!” I whisper excitedly and take glances at Sungjong to see his response. Sungjong is much like Myungsoo when it comes to emotions so of course I don’t see much, but he is looking at them for longer than I expected, and when Namjoo lets out a laugh he finally turns around and walks away taking a deep breath. The intensity in his eyes were no joke either.

I turn back to them and give a thumbs up. Her friend shakes his head and goes back to whatever he was doing before helping. I run over to her and we both start squealing.

“What did he do?” She asked excitedly.

“He didn’t show much on his face, but his eyes were daggers and he was watching for longer than I thought. And great move with the laugh! When you laughed he walked away breathing all deep and stuff!” We both laugh feeling triumphant. “You should ignore him now.”

“What?”

“Like don’t follow him around. If he goes a few days without you constantly around him, he’s going to feel the emptiness. That’s what I’m doing to Myungsoo.” I say and smile evilly. She laughs and nods in agreement.

Namjoo is doing a great job. She didn’t come running in the classroom at lunch like she usually does, and Sungjong is usually one of the first to leave but now he is just sitting there, staring straight. Is he waiting for her?

It takes everything in me not to squeal.

“Let’s go to lunch Bomi.” Sungyeol says. I smile and nod. I, uncontrollably, glance at Myungsoo. He has his head on the desk. It’s not fair, how easy it is for him to ignore me, when I’m struggling so hard to ignore him,

As we walk to lunch, the only thing I can think about is when I kissed Myungsoo.

“If I were sleeping on my desk, would you look at me that way too?”

I come out of my thoughts and look at Sungyeol. I’m a horrible person, I keep forgetting that he and Sunggyu like me.

“No.” I say honestly. I don’t want to hurt him, but I refuse to lead him on also. I need to make this clear to him.  He smiles and nods. “I love him, Sungyeol.” His smile falters a bit, but again he nods. “I’ve loved him for a very long time, longer than you, or anyone would know.” Again he nods.

“I understand your feelings that was never an issue. I just need to let out all my feelings first, so that I can get over you. So when I flirt with you or hug you randomly, just smile. Let me get it out of my system.”

“Sungyeol, I…” before I can even finish my sentence he takes me into a tight hug. He releases me seconds later.

“Now smile.” he orders with a wide grin.

“Sungyeol…” He hugs me again.

“Smile.” he says with a slight laugh. I sigh and smile. “That’s it.” He smiles triumphantly then swings his arm over my shoulder. “Let’s go eat.”

No one's POV

“Her too?”

Myungsoo looks to his side and sees Sungjong standing next to him, looking at Bomi and Sungyeol.

“Girls are complicated.” He shakes his head and walks towards the lunch room.

Myungsoo lets out a deep sigh and shoves his hands in his pockets. He watches until Bomi’s figure disappears before heading to the roof.

Bomi's POV

For the past couple of days I notice Namjoo talking to every male classmate she can. She’s doing so well, but I can see the glances she gives to Sungjong. She misses being around him. But it’s working. Sungjong barely seems to focus on anything and he keeps staring off into space. Yesterday he just kept playing with his food instead of eating it, and I am sure Namjoo is the cause.

It is getting increasingly harder to ignore Myungsoo. I tried not even looking at him but as I walk in class I give him a quick glance. As usually he stares blankly towards the window. I wonder what he’s thinking about.

As if it were planned, which it wasn’t, Sunggyu runs in the class and rather loudly asks me to go to the movies with him tonight. Normally I would flat out reject him.

“Sure.” I say and the entire room erupts into shock. It takes everything in me to not look at Myungsoo. I hope he is just as shocked or more than everyone else. Sunggyu is frozen for probably minutes before he starts cheering and yelling at the students who thought he didn’t have a chance.

“Bomi?” Eunji says not understanding.

“I should at least give him a chance right?” I say. I forgot to tell them about my and Namjoo’s plans but maybe this is better. If even my best friends believe I’m done chasing Myungsoo than he will too.

I notice Sungyeol looking at me with furrowed eye brows.

“I explained it clearly to you. I need to do the same for him.” I whisper low enough for only him to hear. He sighs and nods his head.

When the last bell rings, there is a collective sigh and the room instantly fills with chatter. And of course within seconds Sunggyu is running in.

“Let’s go! On our DATE!” he emphasizes and smirks at everyone in the room. I hear a few scoffs. I finish gathering my things.

“Let’s go.” I say with a smile and he happily grabs my hand.

“Wow! You’re hands are soft!” He says loudly. I know he is directing that towards Myungsoo. I praise my restraint, because it is beyond difficult to not look at him. But I soon realize I don’t have to because Myungsoo walks past us, lightly grazing my shoulder, and without stopping leaves the room.

I’m not going to lie, I was hoping he was going to grab my arm and drag me out. I guess I dream too big.

No one's POV

“It seems they are trying to make us jealous.” Sungjong says and sits in an empty seat, facing Myungsoo. He couldn’t go to the roof because the snow piled so high it blocked the door. So he went to an abandoned classroom on the top floor. Sungjong followed him.

Myungsoo lets out a small laugh and rolls his eyes. “I know.”

“Is it working?”

“No.” Myungsoo responds firmly. Sungjong nods his head and chuckles.

“Me too.” he chuckles again. “That’s what I told myself but… It’s pissing me off more than I thought it would. The more I think about it the angrier I get. I didn’t know Namjoo had that many male friends.” Sungjong laughs again before standing. “I assume their change in tactics is the result of you rejecting my sister so adamantly, even though I can clearly see you love her.” Myungsoo doesn’t respond but instead elects to stare towards the window. “I won’t ask why you’re rejecting her but I will warn you. If you hurt my sister beyond repair… if she experiences the same pain I did… I will kill you.” After a few moments of silence, Sungjong gives him a small smile and goes to leave.

“That’s why I reject her.” Myungsoo finally speaks, causing Sungjong to pause at the door. “So I don’t hurt her beyond repair.”

Sungjong turns around and sees him fiddling with a bracelet. It takes a few moments but he recognizes it.

“You…” he starts to speak but decides not to finish. A million revelations spiral through his head. “Just… I think she is strong enough to handle whatever is keeping you away from her.” He says in the calmest voice he can before leaving the room.

He could be wrong but if that bracelet is what he thinks it is, he finally understands everything. A few years ago, he and Bomi fought and as revenge he read the diary about L in the hopes of finding things to about. He wished that he hadn’t when he was finished because it wasn’t a particularly happy ending. Instead of fighting from that day on he vowed to protect her from any pain that could possibly come her way.

He knows about the bracelet through her diary and because she wears it every day. And he knows L has the other one and the only way Myungsoo could have it is if he is L. If he is right then the next thing to ask is, does Bomi know? 

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OTL
Sir... you too handsome for feels to handle...