“YOU JERK!” I screamed, and pushed him away from me.

I fell to the floor, Jaejoong’s face emotionless. My eyes were starting to tear up, but I blinked hard so that the tears wouldn’t fall. Getting up, I ran away to the dressing room, tearing off the dress and instantly putting on my old clothes. This boy was not worth my tears. He wasn’t worth anything from me, and I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of having made a girl cry. He’d probably done it so many times, with all his stupid little flings. He’d probably never cared about a girl in his life. He was so cruel to the point where he had to take away my first kiss.

My first kiss.

I’d always dreamed and hoped that it would be under the moonlight, with my boyfriend, and we’d both be shy and embarrassed, but the kiss would turn out sweet. I’d never imagined it as forced, as a surprise-like this. This only happened in Korean dramas, where some random stranger suddenly plants a er on a poor, unknowing girl. But for sure this didn’t happen in real life, or in my life, in any case. As I grabbed my bag from my chair, the director came up to me. “______-ah, calm down, think about it, it’s all just acting-” But I glared at him and he shut up.

“For you, maybe it’s acting, seongsaenim, but for me, that was as real as real got.”

Pushing open the door, I ran away.

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

I sat at the park, sitting cross-legged on a bench. Whenever something serious had happened, like my brother being whisked off to become a trainee, or Jonghyun getting his first girlfriend, this was always where I’d left to think. Here, I was safe and alone, and the clearing was so wide that I didn’t feel like I was being trapped in a small space. I had the trees and shrubs for company, and they never teased me or hurt me-instead, they sheltered me from the wind and rain-and sometimes, other people’s intimidating looks. I was truly, honestly, more thankful to them than any person on the earth.

Well, perhaps next to my brother and Jonghyun.

Looking at my phone, I decided to call my oppa. He was the only family I had left, my older brother, and although I was twenty and Yunho twenty-five, we were extremely close. We’d grown up independent, because since our parents travelled a lot, I’d be left in the bitter cold of Canada, while Yunho would reside in the slightly more temperate Korea. Though sometimes we didn’t see each other for years on end, we were never awkward towards each other. We could just sit beside each other, not talking, just thinking, and it wouldn’t feel uncomfortable, because that’s just how we were like with each other.

Well, until the accident, yes.

Punching in his numbers, I waited for him. He picked up on the first ring. “Hey, .” His voice resonated from the phone, and though insulting, it calmed me. “Oppa," I said quietly, noticing that the park had been completely deserted. Picking up a daisy from the grass, I fiddled with it in my fingers as I waited to hear my brother's voice from the other end of the phone.  “You’re probably sitting at the park right now, huh?” I smiled at his intuitive response. “You know everything about me, oppa.”

“What’s up?”

“It's been a rough day today, oppa,” I said, sighing longingly. "You know, one of those days where nothing can make you feel better. I can't describe it, but it seems like everyone is out to get me these days." 

“Yah, you shallow little brat -you don't even have a boyfriend yet, so I can't see what you're whining about...."

“Yeah, but....I hate it here. I hate today. I hate it in Korea." 

He paused, thinking.

“You’re going to regret saying those words, you know. You do like it in Korea. Every time I see you, you look happy enough, and we all know that you're not willing to leave Jonghyun. Something happened, and all you really want is just need a break, right?”

“I don’t want a break, oppa, I want out-”

“Tell you what-you want to go vacationing with me and the other trainees next week? We’ll be spending some time in Vancouver. Want to join? We're going to be heading to all of your favourite places, and I'll try to make you as comfortable as possible. The company allowed us to get first class seats and also booked a luxury hotel for us - it's something that you'll really like.”

“My hometown?”

“Offer’s still open.”

“Who’s going?”

“It’ll be a surprise, but I’m pretty sure you haven’t met most of them.”

“Can I really, oppa?”

“Are you coming?”

“I’ll be at your house in an hour.” I clicked off the phone, and smiled at the sky. Things were finally starting to change for the better, after a whole day of terrible events. What I didn’t know, however, was that I should have never agreed to this trip. I never should have decided to go with Yunho. Because if I didn't, I wouldn’t have felt confused about him. 

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

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