✖ 

“I know I'm selfish, 

But what can I do?”

✖ 

Jaejoong stared at the girl beside him.

He’d made sure that she was asleep by poking her, and when she didn’t respond, he brushed the long hair off of her face. Touching her left cheek, he stared at the scars on it, the ugly reds and browns mixed in with her pale, almost white skin. Touching each branch, he stared at them, and remembered what Yunho had said.

“I was the one who did that to her, Jaejoong.”

He remembered.

Five years ago, it happened rainy, dark night, while Yunho was driving. The weather was a bitter, frigid cold, and it was impossible to see anything, especially since it had occured in the middle of the night. His parents were in the middle of a divorce, and his mother and father both drunk after a heated argument with each other at a restaurant. Yunho got a call from the bartender, and instantly picked them up in his car. Not wanting to leave his little sister alone, he brought her too, and as they coursed through the roads, the car skidded on a slick area of pavement. 

It had landed into a ditch, nearly two hundred feet away from where the car was on the road. 

Ironically, his father and mother, who were sitting in the back, died instantly. The car had swung to the side, flipped, and landed into the ditch trunk-first, crushing his parents. They died immediately from shock on impact, which then turned to heart failure by the time they'd arrived at the hospital - especially because they were intoxicated as well, their bodies already couldn't handle the massive pressure the accident had placed upon them. Jaejoong remembered running over to the scene, and watching a young man fling open the front door and stumble towards him. When Yunho came out, he was only left with a jagged scar on his forehead, which healed over a couple months.

But the girl was a little less lucky.

Jaejoong remembered running to the passenger side, and grabbing her small frame out. She was fifteen during that time, he himself nineteen, and though he’d taken a medical course in college for a couple of months, he had never been one to earn top grades. However, suddenly, he had felt adrenaline run through his veins and used all of his knowledge in order to help them. Tearing off the sleeve of his shirt and applying pressure to the girl’s face, which was covered in pieces of glass, he remembered shouting for help in the pouring rain. 

He’d called the paramedics, and luckily, it was confirmed that she would be alive. He’d felt so much relief then. She’d saved him once, back in high school, and now it was his turn to help her.

However, too many blood vessels had broken. The doctors had told Yunho that his sister’s face would never look the same again, not unless she went under skin grafting or plastic surgery. They didn’t have the funds to do that, and Jaejoong had voiced his opinions strongly: no one was to alter her face. Even though this was what he felt was for the best, Jaejoong knew that every time he looked at his sister, Yunho would be haunted by the fact that he’d done that to her-and killed their parents. He would forever remember the shock crossing Yunho’s face once the doctors ruled out his parents as dead, and his sister as marred forever by that scar on her cheek. 

Jaejoong, however, thought the scars were beautiful.

As he touched each of them, his heart ached longingly. He wanted her so much, he wanted to protect her and care for, as she had once done for him years ago. She never knew about it, but Jaejoong was happy with the fact that she was safe. He’d rather her hate him than feel indebted to him, because if she felt guilty, she could never love Jaejoong. She would only remember him as the boy who held a debt upon her. 

Sighing, Jaejoong watched as she started to whisper in her sleep.

“Yunho."

"Yunho."

"Jonghyun - Jonghyun-ah"

"Appa! Umma!" 

They started becoming more frantic, and Jaejoong became worried. He touched her face again, and the whispers instantly stopped. Brushing at her hair again, he gently tipped her head, so that it landed on his shoulder. His heart pounded as she smiled slightly once her face touched his skin, and he kissed her gently on the forehead without her knowing.

This was how things were supposed to be like.

This was how he wanted things to be like.

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

“Psst. Yoochun!”

Yoochun woke up to the sound of Jaejoong frantically calling him. Blinking and rubbing his eyes sleepily, he responded. “What?”

“Grab your camera, and take a picture. Right now.”

He ped his backpack, and pulled out a polaroid. Walking over to Jaejoong and _______’s seats, he chuckled to himself as he saw Jaejoong smiling brightly and _______’s face on his shoulder. Jaejoong must be having the time of his life right now-he’d been in love with this girl since high school, and he had finally taken the guts to talk to her, to get to know her. Quickly angling the camera, he pressed the button and the picture came out. Jaejoong instantly grabbed it, and stared at it, tucking it into his wallet.

Snap.

Snap. Snap.

Under Jaejoong’s prompting, he’d taken more, and given them to him.

That girl was seriously going to kill him. But it was so worth it seeing Jae happy for once. 

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

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