✖ 

"My breath keeps on stopping,

As you walk around me,

As you smile towards me." 

✖ 

“Yunho. What have you done?”

I stared at him as he stood beside Jaejoong, whose body was still and splayed out on to the floor. Jaejoong was still, his eyelids closed, and beads of sweat had formed on his forehead. My heart raced as I saw him in such a pitiful state, and grew angry once I realized my brother wasn’t doing anything. Yunho looked slightly shocked, and as I went closer to him, I could smell the tang of alcohol on his breath. Yunho never, ever drank unless there was a problem that he couldn’t solve-and I’d guessed that this problem involved Jaejoong.

“I don’t care what’s going between you two, but you should have never resorted to violence. Yunho, why can’t you use your head? Don’t you know that fists never help anything? You idiot, what are you doing? This is your best friend!”

Yunho let out a scoff.

“Help me carry him back into my room.”

“No.”

“No? You’re not even willing to help your best friend, when this is a problem that you’ve obviously started? I haven’t even asked you any questions, and you can’t even do this single task for me?” Seething, I went up to Yunho and gently touched his face, giving it a small slap. When I did, he laughed, a sorrowful, angry laugh, and slumped to the ground, running a hand through his hair.

“.

You must be really starting to fall in love with him, ________.”

I looked at Jaejoong, on the ground, and Yunho, who looked utterly beaten up. My reply scared me, but at the same time, I knew that it was the truth.

“I think so, too.”

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

I sat by the bed, watching Jaejoong as he slept. I’d put some ice on his bruises, and he had a black eye blooming rapidly, but his wounds didn’t look as bad as they first were. Taking a cloth, I’d wiped away the blood matted in his hair. I’d managed to convince Yunho to bring Jaejoong in, though it was reluctant, and as he laid Jaejoong on the bed, I thought that he looked sad and torn.

“Thank you.”

Yunho, the person that I’d lived with my whole life, now had an expression that looked like the one he’d had when our parents died. My normally calm and composed brother looked more lost than ever, as if everything was out of his control.

“If I asked you why you two were arguing, you wouldn’t tell me, right?’

“How do you know that we were arguing?”

“I could hear you down the hallway, Yunho.”

I pulled the blankets over Jaejoong’s muscular frame, while Yunho sat on the floor, his face blank, arms crossed over his knees. He thought for a while before answering, and I knew that he was choosing his words carefully. 

“We were just talking.”

“I hate it when you don’t tell me important details, Yunho. You think it’s to protect me, but I already know that it’s nothing like that. Talking? I’ve never heard about casual talking that involved a fistfight.”

“Do you ever hate me for the accident, _______?”

“Never.”

I was surprised at the sudden topic change. Though we knew everything about each other, ever since the incident had happened, we’d never spoken a word about it. It hurt too much, but most of all, I knew that Yunho felt responsible for everything. How could I put salt on his wounds? I already had a scar as a reminder of the past, imprinted forever on my face, to remind Yunho of his guilt forever. How could I be such a shameful sister, and have the guts to even face him, when all I did was hurt my brother?

“I always make mistakes. I always hurt you. I’m a terrible older brother. I thought that Jaejoong would be better for you, ________. I knew him, or at least I thought I did. I knew that he was honest and just, and that he’d make up for whatever I couldn’t do. But I screwed up again, ________. I tried to introduce you to him, I tried to make you like him, because I thought that you would be finally happy. For once, instead of having to rely on me, you could rely on someone else, someone else who was reliable and could support you. Yunho looked at me with sad eyes.

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Yunho, you have nothing to be sorry for-”

“He’s only playing with your feelings, _______. Everything he did was a lie.”

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

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