✖ 

“On my way back from leaving you,

I'll forget you, I'll erase you,

Oh, my burnt and blackened love.”

✖ 

Yunho dashed into the small store, his legs running quickly and hands angrily pushing at the glass doorway. When he entered, he saw little groups of couples at the tables, sipping on tea and feasting voraciously at noodles and rice. He squinted as he tried to find a tall girl with long, black hair, and eyes like the sky. Searching for her familiar, lengthy frame, and elegant appearance, he looked from the back to the front of the store. However, a small, plump woman from behind the counter suddenly interrupted his searching. Dressed in an apron, with a bright pink hairclip in her wavy black curls, she beamed at him invitingly. “Young man, how may I help you?”

“Excuse me, but have you seen Ha Jae?”

“She’s on her break right now-”

Yunho nodded and made a beeline for the backroom, where he found her, dressed in casual shorts and a t-shirt. Staring at her long legs, which were crossed, and the curve of her hips, he reluctantly brought his eyes away from her figure and on to the scene around her. Textbooks were open up in front of her, papers scattered over the floor, and she was furiously writing on a sticky note. Biting her lip, with her hair tied up in a messy bun at the back of her head, he was stunned by how beautiful she was even while working.

“Ha Jae-”

“Oh! Yunho! Have you had lunch yet?”

She smiled at him, and his heart thumped in his chest, but he remembered what he was here for, and kept the serious look on his face.

“Ha Jae, have you seen my sister?”

He saw that her facial expression changed, and he began to worry. He’d called  _______ many times, to the point where his phone battery had died though he’d only charged it the day before. When he went to her flat, it had been cleared of all existence-usually his sister was notoriously messy, but the only thing out of place that day was a half-full cup left on the countertop. It didn’t worry him, because his sister was normally outdoors most of the time, but then he noticed that her suitcase was gone. And many clothes had been cleared from her closet, along with her passport that she’d always hid under her mattress.

What the hell?

His sister didn’t have many friends, other than Jonghyun, but Jonghyun wasn’t at his home either. _______ never left on a vacation or trip without telling him first. Worriedly, he’d run over to Ha Jae’s, hoping that she might have some knowledge on ______’s whereabouts.

“Did you call my cousin?”

“Jaejoong and I aren’t exactly on good terms right now.”

Ha Jae looked nervous now, and Yunho wasn’t sure, but he thought that he saw a look of anxiousness flicker across her face.

“Are you hiding something from me?”

“No, I-I just-”

“She’s with him, right?”

“No, she’s-”

Yunho looked at Ha Jae angrily. Everyone kept hiding things from him, like he was a little child. He’d grown up, killed his parents, and watched on painfully as his little sister was shunned by society, and had gone through many things that most adults had never experienced. But everyone never told him the full story of things-even his little sister had run away without telling him. His little sister, whom had always looked up to him and listened to him, was now keeping secrets from him too.

“You .” Yunho snarled at Ha Jae, but his look of anger disappeared into confusion as Ha Jae stood up angrily from the table.

“Yes, your sister is with Jaejoong, and yes, she’s in Korea. Yes, I planned it all out. But just to let you know, it turns out that Jonghyun and Jaejoong are half-brothers. Jonghyun’s terminally ill, and Jaejoong’s in charge of his father’s medical company while making sure that Jonghyun’s rehabilitated. Your sister followed them because for once, she wanted to do something instead of sitting down and watching the people around her get hurt.”

“What’s wrong with just sitting down? Why can’t she just protect herself-”

“Do you really understand your own sister? Do you think she feels comfortable always having people wait upon her? She’s stronger than you think, Yunho, and this time, she’s not doing it for them-she’s doing it for herself. She hates being babied and feeling helpless. Nobody likes to just stand there while someone they love is hurting. It’s not fair to stop her either, because she’s not that little girl anymore, she’s a young adult who can make her own decisions. She’s going to help them, and because she’s set her mind upon it, that’s why I helped her. It may be dangerous, but I know that Jonghyun and Jaejoong will never let her out of their sight, especially this close to their father’s territory. But this is the time that you’ve got to let her go, Yunho. You may be her older brother, but you can’t be her bodyguard forever. You can protect her as much as you want, but one day, you’re going to have to give her to someone else. And I think we all know that’s going to be Jaejoong.”

The look of confidence on her faced never disappated, which annoyed Yunho all the more.

“He’s just using her, and I’m never going to let her go. She’s my little sister. I was born to take care of her, Ha Jae, I can’t just stand here and-”

“You were in charge of looking after her, but not controlling her. Do you know why she didn’t tell you ahead of time? Because she doesn’t want to disappoint you, but she can’t just stay here in Seoul while Jaejoong and Jonghyun are in America. It’s time you knew, Yunho, that she’s decided to take a path of her own, and it’s time for you to take one too.”

“I’ve always taken my own path-”

“A path haunted with ghosts of your past? Is that how you want to live your life? You always blame yourself for your parent’s accident and whenever something happens to your sister, it’s your fault too, isn’t it? But you can’t live like this, Yunho! Because no matter how much your blame yourself, there’s always going to be bad things and good things happening to others. You can’t take care of everyone else’s consequences, no matter how much you want to, if you can’t even handle your own. How do you expect ________ to rely on you as her older brother if he can’t even understand that it wasn’t his fault his parents died? How can she believe you, understand you, if you won’t even talk to her about what happened in the past-because you still think it’s your fault?

How do you expect yourself to help anyone when it’s you that needs help the most?”

She looked at him sadly, while Yunho was a mess of anger, worry, and betrayal. He knewwhat she said was right - it hit home - but he didn't want to listen anymore. It was his fault, wasn’t it? Everything he did-this was the reason why he hated himself so much. He was stupid, and this accident was his fault, no matter what others said.

“Yunho, there are so many great things about you. How come you’re the only person who can’t see it? Why do you always have to beat yourself up like this?”

His eyes met hers, but her blue ones weren't filled with pity or sympathy-they were filled with anger.

“Because there’s nothing good about me at all. I only live for one person, and that’s ________. She’s the only reason why I’m still here.”

“Yunho-”

Ha Jae reached out, her cool hand touching at his arm, but Yunho snarled, flinging his arm away from her touch. Snapping back into his angry form, he yells at her. “Don’t touch me.” She looked shocked now, and scared, but she still stood in front of him, feet planted firmly on the ground. “Yunho, you can’t go-”

He looked at her one last time before pushing away her hand. 

“Don’t tell me what to do. You don’t understand anything.”

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬