Jonghyun checked his cell phone, looking at the time. It was almost lunch, and he’d wanted to meet up with ______ today. She’d finally come back from her vacation with Jaejoong hyung, and he couldn’t wait to talk to her. There was something about that man that he didn’t like-the first reason being that he was too close to _______, and the second being that Jonghyun felt like he knew this person. Really well, in fact. As he continued to wonder what was up with that mysterious trainee, the doctor walked in the door, and Jonghyun’s thoughts fell silent.

“Jonghyun, you’re getting better today.”

Lies. Lies. Lies.

He beamed at him, pretending to be alright, while stretching his fingers. “Thanks, doctor Park. My umma will be pleased to hear that.” Taking the stethoscope off of his chest, the male doctor grabbed a pen and scribbled a few notes on the paper, finally sticking it into the manila folder. “It’s been how long since you were diagnosed with S.A, Jonghyun?”

“I’m twenty-three now. I was diagnosed seven years ago.”

“Do you have any future plans?”

Jonghyun inwardly laughed. Future plans? There was nothing left ahead or for him. My umma will be pleased to hear that? That was just another lie that he told, as a response to the lies that everyone else told to him. Please, she abandoned him after she found out that he had a degenerative genetic disease. From the day he was born, it was already decided that he would live his life in a prison, trapped in his own body.

“No. Not really.”

“Life is short, Jonghyun - you know that the best. You should make the best out of what you have.”

Jonghyun smiled. How many times had the doctor said this to his patients? As long as the doctor’s condition was in fine health, it didn’t matter what his patients were like.

“I know.”

“My brother had spinocerebellar ataxia.”

Jonghyun’s head shot up.

“He died.”

It’s going to be my fate too, Jonghyun thought.

“But he got married. He even had two children. He was diagnosed when he was twelve, and we lived, not knowing what life was going to turn out like for him. Usually, the life span of someone diagnosed with S.A is around 20 years, maybe 30 if lucky. I remember that those were the words of his doctor, who always said it with such a straight face that I resented him for it. When I think back, I knew that I always looked at my brother, and only saw him as a clock that had a “stop” time above his head. If I felt that way, I wonder how my brother ever felt. Trapped? Lonely? Misunderstood?

Surprisingly, he was happy. He felt blessed to be given life, though it was short, and he didn’t just sit there, waiting for his clock to die out. He used it to his potential. One day, he had started working, and the next, he’d gotten himself a girlfriend. They seemed really in love too, and before I knew it, they’d gotten married and had children. Eventually, my brother lived to be thirty-five. He beat the odds, and lived for twenty-three years from the day he was given his death sentence, to the day it was carried out. By then, he had a ten-year-old son and an eight-year-old daughter, a stable job, and even a beautiful home. He left behind a wonderful family, and in the end, it turned out that they become part of my family, too. I married my late brother’s wife. Maybe she married me because I’m the spitting image of him, maybe she married me because of my contrasting personality. I don’t know why, but I’m happy.

The most important thing, though, was that my brother lived life to the fullest. I didn’t. I, a perfectly healthy person, didn’t know how to appreciate life, but my brother, someone who was dying, knew how too. I see him in you, Jonghyun, and I just want you to leave Earth with memories that you’ll never forget. Life shouldn’t be a regret-it should be a blessing. You should try to take everything that you can, and hold everything that you own.”

The doctor smiled at him kindly, while Jonghyun sat there, still. Patting his shoulder, he stood from his chair and walked to the door.

“You can stay here until you’re done thinking. Maybe that’s just what you need-a little time to yourself.

After all, time can heal all wounds.”

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

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