The moment I opened the door, I stepped inside the walk-in closet to which I thought only contains his clothes. But I was wrong. I was standing in the middle of the room in awe while I was roaming my eyes around. I walked towards one corner and picked up a stuff toy. There was a note on it.

Dara’s eighth birthday. I wanted to surprise her with this and make her smile but she was just staring blankly.

I put the stuff toy down and went to the next. A note was on it too. It was a bag with cartoon designs on it.

Dara’s ninth birthday. I will surely enroll her in a school and make her meet new friends.

I was walking and picking up each of the gifts and read each note. While reading them, they didn’t fail on making me cry. Every year, he didn’t fail to buy me a gift though he didn’t really give it to me and instead keep it here.

Each of the gifts was different from the others. Each of them has a meaning to my life. Each of the notes has the same theme on it – making me smile, to which he failed miserably.

I reached a cute red dress hanged with a note.

Dara’s twenty-seventh birthday. She has grown up to be such a gorgeous lady but I never seen her to wearing clothes like this. I wonder what her reaction would be when she sees this. Will she smile?

I smiled inwardly though tears were still endlessly flowing.

I stepped sideward to go to the next item, but there was nothing. I only saw a note.

Dara’s twenty-eighth birthday… ??? I believe she has found the reason to smile.

I stepped out of the closet after I picked up the stuff toy he bought me for my eighth birthday. I stared at it as I wiped the tears away.

I walked around the room and inspected each of the pictures. He was right. I found my reason to smile, my reason to live. Jiyong - he is the only reason that I smile and live like this.

I picked one picture from the wall and smiled at how happy I looked at the picture. Unintentionally, I turned the picture. There was writing on it.

When she was eight, she looks like Nai Young. In this picture, she looks like Mi Hyun. No wonder I feel so attached to this girl.

Who are Nai Young and Mi Hyun?

I immediately ran out of the house and headed to the hospital.

When I arrived, Sajang-nim was already awake. He just stared at me like he didn’t recognize me at all.

“Who are Nai Young and Mi Hyun?” I asked the moment I reached his bed. Jaejoong stepped away.

“What are you talking about?” he asked.

I pulled the picture I just picked and shoved it to his face. I turned it and pointed on the writings. He stared at me as if weighing a million options.

“Nai Young was my daughter. And Mi Hyun was my wife,” he said, voice becoming softer as he uttered each word.

My hand dropped and I was about to hide the picture behind me when he caught my wrist and snatched the picture from my grasp. He stared at it and then to me.

“You really resemble my wife, Dara,” he said and a smile broke on his lips.

Did he just… smile?

I didn’t want to ask, because it looked like it was a sensitive subject since he referred to his daughter and wife in past tenses.

“What happened to them?” I asked. My mouth has a mind of its own!

“They were the reason why I entered this business. They died in a car accident. I was there too but I survived. I was too angry at myself and thus I repeatedly asked why I was the only survivor. It could have been the other way around. But that didn’t happen. That was the time I realized I want to be in this kind of business – giving justice to people. My family died because of injustice. We were bumped by a drunken bastard but he was able to get away without paying what I lost – my family,” he explained and stared outside.

“Then I met you after a few years. When I saw you hiding underneath that bed, my heart just skipped a beat. It hurt me a lot seeing a kid crying like that after witnessing a murder scene. I was just about to help you and bring you to an assistance center but when I saw your face, you made me remember Nai Young. You strongly resemble her that for a while, I thought you were her. Did you remember me hugging you too tight that I almost crushed you?” he asked as he chuckled lightly.

There was an eerie silence as I waited for him to continue.

“That was the time I wanted to take you in and help you. I thought I was doing a good job though. But as every day dragged by, you were becoming worse than before. I understood that you were undergoing some traumatic experiences. But it was already too long since that happened, however, you have the same empty and dead eyes since the day I took you in. I almost thought you were having psychological problems and that’s why I brought you to a psychiatrist.”

He became silent again as he sighed.

“Then I understood what you were going through when I saw you tearing up a doll’s head from its body as you shouted your family’s names. I realize you wanted to avenge their deaths. You were too angry because of the bastards who killed them. That was the time I recruited you to the company and trained you to be an agent. I thought you’ll be happy by doing that but years dragged by but I have never seen a bright smile on your face. Even Jaejoong wasn’t able to do that. Years and years dragged by and our relationship with each other worsen too. I wanted to make up for it but every time I try to, you refuse to cooperate. I thought there’s no chance for me to see a smile on your face. So I gave up.”

He sighed again as he looked down and creased his forehead.

“But someone came into your life. You only knew him for a short time but he was able to make you smile. He was able to successfully bring out that side of yours. That was when I secretly and personally followed you as I took pictures of you while you’re smiling, laughing, or chuckling at that guy’s jokes. As I scan on the pictures, I see the resemblance of you and my wife…” he paused and directed his gaze at me. “…that explains those pictures and that note.”

I stared at my picture once again. He did care. He did care for me but I refused to see it that way. I have been accusing him as using me for the company and his benefit but he wasn’t doing any of those for himself. He was doing it for me. He treated me as his own daughter but I didn’t see him as a father. He tried so hard to show a fatherly love, but I refused to open my eyes. He has been here with me all along but I remained blind. It was because of me.

It wasn’t him who has to ask for forgiveness from me. It should be me who has to apologize for every mistake done.

“I see that you’ve found out about the gifts too,” he said pointing on my hand.

I looked down as I was hugging the stuff toy to my chest.

“Every year, I tried to buy you a gift. I tried to show it to you too, but I got scared, knowing full well that you’re going to ignore them anyway,” he explained.

I refused to look up and gaze at his eyes. I refused to see what his expression is right this moment. That is because maybe, the same time I will, tears would just fall unendingly.

I dropped to my knees with my head still bowed. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for all the things that I’ve done. You were always a good father to me but I have been a bad daughter. I hope you’re going to forgive me.”

I was walking by the school corridor after being absent for a long time. Though my grumpy self wasn’t showing, the cheerful side of me wasn’t present either.

I was lost in deep thoughts when I bumped into someone.

“Dara!” Jiyong’s voice entered my ears as he grabbed both of my shoulders to help me up. His grasps were too tight that it started to hurt. “Where were you for the past days? I have been waiting for you! I have been calling your phone but all I received is that damn voice mail! Gaaah! You made me worry so much!”

I chuckle lightly. I grabbed my phone and checked it. Its battery was dead alright. I wonder when this happened.

I shoved my phone on his face. “Dead bat,” I said.

“Well?” he urged.

“Well what?”

“Well? Aren’t you going to explain yourself? Where were you? Didn’t I tell you to call me if you’ve got new missions on hand that you need to travel out of Seoul so I would not get too worried?”

“Sssh! Someone might hear you!” I said as I covered his mouth.

He arched his brows as he demanded for an explanation.

I sighed as I dropped my hand from his mouth.

“What? Aren’t you going-“

I cut him off by pressing my lips on him. “I’m doing this because I trust you so much, okay?”

“What are we doing in a hospital?” he asked as we stepped out of his car.

 “Just shut up and follow me,” I said playfully.

I opened the door as two sets of eyes stared at us. I smile at Jaejoong and Dad. [Yes, I’m calling him Dad now.]

“I would like to introduce you to the reason why I smile – Jiyong,” I said. “Jiyong, meet Dad and of course, you’ve met Jaejoong.”

He nodded as he hesitantly grabbed Dad’s hand to shake it.

“Jiyong, I have been absent for a while now because I’m watching over Dad and at the same time, I’m heading the NIS while Dad is gone. So, please forgive me if I haven’t called or texted or seen you for the past few days,” I said.

“What…” Jiyong paused for a while. “What happened to you, sir?”

Dad stared at him intensely. Oops. I forgot that he doesn’t really like Jiyong. Oh well, he has to meet him someday, right?

“I had an encounter,” Dad answered briefly.

“Oh-kay,” I broke the awkward silence. “Perhaps-“

“Dara, go to school now. You have been absent for a while now,” Jaejoong told me.

“Fine, let’s go Jiyong,” I said. “Bye Dad and Jae.”

A week had passed by since that day and I returned back to a simple agent because Dad came back to work. I was working on my shift as I guarded the senator while he was having dinner with his friends. I have been standing here for a while now and I’m dead tired. I wanted to go home now but my shift is not yet nearing its end.

The senator hired some bodyguards for himself as he said that he didn’t want to bother us so much. But we still offered to help guarding him in case the bodyguards won’t be able to fully protect him. So we decided to have one NIS agent with two or three of his bodyguards in one shift.

My phone rang as I was silently roaming my eyes around the restaurant for any suspicious happenings.

“Hello?”

“Dara, where are you?” Jiyong asked his voice a little worried.

“Why?”

“I… missed you,” he said.

I turned my back on the senator and his friends. I ordered the other guards to keep their eyes open.

I wanted to relax my head so I stepped out of the restaurant to freshen up. I’m sure nothing will happen anyway, and besides, I missed Jiyong too. ke ke ke.

“You called me just to say that?” I asked as I was stretching my arms up.

“Yes. I missed you. You rarely come here anymore because of your work,” he said.

“True,” I said. “I’ll drop by after my shift.”

“End your shift already,” he said. I can almost see him pouting cutely. “Call the other agents to replace you for a while.”

“Aish, why are you so cute?” I teased.

He chuckled before I hung up the phone.

I dialed Jaejoong’s number and he immediately picked up.

“Hello Jae?”

“What?” he asked. Wow, cold Jaejoong is back. It seemed like the me before became the him now.

“You busy?” I asked.

“No.”

“Can you replace me for a while, I’m just-“

I got cut off when I felt an unwelcome presence around me. Being an agent, I became very sharp and keen of my surroundings. A mere movement would wake my senses up. I would just not feel this when it’s a fellow agent who sneaks up on me – like Dad for example, when he took pictures of me secretly.

“You’re going to what? Date with-“

“SSSSSHHHHH….” I hushed Jaejoong as I listened for more movements. It seems that whoever it is knew that I sensed him.

“What-“

“SSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH….”

I was still trying to hear more movements when I finally felt it. My eyes darted upwards as I caught sight of the head of a sniper rifle at the rooftop of the building in front of us.

I took a sharp intake.

“What’s happening?” Jaejoong asked in alarm.

“Come here quick and assist the senator,” I told him and hang up the phone,“ Be ready. Someone’s up to something,” I whispered through the communication device to talk to the bodyguards.

I have to catch the culprit with my own hands. After all, he hurt my Dad.

I ran towards the building, and I doubled up my sprint to reach the rooftop. It took me forever before I reached it.

The moment I did, there was a loud blast. The suspect was still there. But I was already worrying if he successfully shot his target.

“Stop right there,” I said as I aimed my gun on him.

I saw him flinch. And he slowly turned to face me. Like our past encounters, his face was fully covered making him look like a ninja.

He slowly reached for his gun but I threatened him with mine.

“You’re caught red-handed so just reveal yourself. Didn’t you want to reveal yourself to me before? Show yourself now, then!” I demanded.

He didn’t though. Instead, he ran forward. Because the gun was already aimed, I pulled the trigger.

He stopped just right in front of the gun. He’s just standing. Damn it! I forgot to reload my gun.

For a while, we were just standing there. Then as if we practiced it, we started attacking each other. Well not really, since I’m doing most of the attacking while he just dodged and not doing any counterattack.

I kicked him on his chest and he staggered backward. He was able to stand up though. But I had time to grab a pocket knife I forgot I had a while ago. I started attacking him with it, but he was able to dodge them expertly. We paused for a while as we panted but I attacked him again with the knife which he caught easily and threw away. I punched and kicked him and he dodged them just like before.

I backed him up against the railing as we were still fighting each other. I gave him a punch once again which he dodged… again.

The next thing I knew, my feet was already dangling beneath me while the cold night air brushed against my face. It turned out that when he dodged, I fell forward through the railing. I was about to really fall if I weren’t able to hold onto a bar.

I desperately tried to step onto something to help me pull myself up but there wasn’t anything but smooth wall. I started scraping my knees as I sweated profusely. My hands were getting sweaty too. And that jerk will be able to escape now.

Will I fall? Will I die now? I’m not yet done with the mission but why does it feel like I want to cry and quit it right now? Why do I feel like I’m a helpless damsel in distress?

“Heeeeeeellllppppp!” I yelled desperately. I didn’t even notice tears were already forming in my eyes.

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UNNIE'S NOTE:

banner credits to SapphireQueen

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