It sure was a long week. I have been absent from school for three days. Of course I received reprimands from the principal, but I was able to dodge all of them. Besides, he already gave me a three-month salary deduction. I guess he pitied me too much that he didn’t increase my deduction. Oh well. I’m a favorite even though I always disrespect him.

As for Mister Kwon, he never stopped sending those damn roses that I got fed up already. Today, I have received three red roses which I willingly threw away the moment I saw them on my desk.

When I received the fourth one, I was already losing my cool. I stood up from my chair and decided to confront him.

“WOULD YOU JUST STOP SENDING THESE DAMN ROSES? HOW MANY TIMES SHALL I TELL YOU THAT? DOES YOUR BRAIN UNDERSTAND WHAT I’M SAYING HERE?”

He blanched in fear. I guess he didn’t expect this.

“WHAT NOW? NOT GOING TO TALK? DO YOU WANT-“

“I just wanted to be your friend,” he mumbled childishly.

“I don’t want you as my friend!” I burst out.

“But I want to! And I know deep inside that you do too,” he said plainly. I can see that he was trying to avoid raising his voice like the last time he did.

As anger filled all over my system, I grabbed the collar of his shirt to make him stand up. His face was so close to mine that I could feel his breath hot against my cheek. “I don’t need friends…” I told him in a low tone.

“Nobody doesn’t need friends. Everyone does.”

Okay, he’s testing my patience, isn’t he? With that said I pushed him and hit his back against the wall with a thud. I heard gasps from the teachers around the room but I didn’t care.

“I don’t!”

“You do too, Miss Park,” he said. “And I can be your friend. I know you need one with what you’re going through right now.”

I pressed him hard on the wall. Not satisfied, I put my arm across his neck and pressed it harder to choke him.

“Don’t act like you know me because you don’t,” I said.

I know he’s choked right now. As much as I don’t want to, I let him go. He started coughing for air then he stared back at me.

“Why are you being like this?!” he shouted, unable to keep his patience to himself. I knew from the very first day I met him that he’s just trying to lengthen his patience with my attitude. “It’s just a flower! Why are you making this a big deal?! It doesn’t even make sense!”

I grabbed him by his collar again. “It does to me!”

“Then tell me why you don’t like-“

“Because I hate red roses, okay?! I hate anything red! It makes me remember blood! Blood all over! That’s why I hate every single rose you send me! I hate everything red! Satisfied?! Huh?! Are you happy now that I told you?!”

I panted while his face’s expression turned to a surprise. We were silent for a while as our faces were just inches from each other. Then, I just realized that my hands were trembling while holding on to his collar. I just also realized that I have been crying when a tear which were rolling endlessly down my cheeks drop to my hand.

“What’s happening here?!” the principal suddenly broke the silence and the tension building up inside the office.

I let Mister Kwon go and went to grab my things on my desk then walked out.

I went to the restroom to fix my face before I went to meet my class. I expected them to notice that my eyes were puffy from crying but I never heard them asking. Maybe they were too terrified to ask me, because if they would, they would just ruin my mood and I might have let my anger out to them. At least, they know how to keep their silence.

The next day, I arrived at school with my usual foul mood. When I arrived at the faculty room, I was surprised to see something resting on my desk. I immediately stared at the person sitting right next to my desk.

“Oh, good morning, Miss Park,” he greeted.

“Why?” I asked.

“What why?” he innocently asked, as if it wasn’t his doing at all.

I went to pick up the bouquet of colorful roses from my desk. I stared at them. There were six roses in total and they were of different colors – white, pink, yellow, peach, coral, lavender. I frowned at them then turned my gaze back to Mister Kwon. He was as well staring at the bouquet on my hands but he stared back at me as if he felt the weight of my gaze.

“What’s the meaning of this?” I demanded.

He hesitated at first. He bit down on his lip but he decided to go for it. “You said you didn’t like red roses, so I took time to pick those up for you, in different colors.”

I blinked at him. That’s it? You’re still pursuing on giving me roses? I hate receiving roses, in general! But I didn’t say those, I don’t know why. I just kept my mouth shut.

Without a word, I turned to the trash can and threw it away.

I headed to my desk and started working. From the corner of my eye, I saw Mister Kwon longingly staring at the roses I just threw.

“Why are you doing that?” I asked, without actually looking at him.

“As I said, I just want to be friends with you,” he plainly said.

My grip tightened on the pen I was holding then it broke into two.

“Omo,” he gasped then he reached out to my hand.

When he did, I caught a glimpse on his hands. His fingers were covered in bandages. When he noticed I was looking at his hands, he pulled them away and hid them behind him.

As much as I don’t want to ask, I ended up defying myself. “Why are your fingers bandaged?”

I didn’t dare stare at him. He might see something in my eyes and misunderstand it. I don’t want that. Even right now, I don’t understand myself. As much as I want to keep my cool, when I asked about his fingers, I sounded confused, concerned, and at the same time, demanding.

When he didn’t answer, I willed my head to snap right at him. I caught his wrists and stared at both of his hands. His fingers were all bandaged and there were cuts all over his palms.

“What is the meaning of this?” I asked him again, when I dropped both of his hands quite roughly.

“I-I… roses… cut my…” he stammered.

“Speak straight, damn it!” Why do I sound desperate, anyway? Aish!

“The flower shop doesn’t sell a bouquet with different colors, so I went to a rose garden of a friend and I picked them out with my bare hands. So, the roses’ thorns were able to cause cuts on my-“

I stood up suddenly without waiting for him to finish.

Why?! I just want to demand an answer for him. I just want him to answer earnestly. But when he did, why do I feel as if I’m guilty? Why do I feel as if it’s my entire fault, that he’s hurt because of me? I don’t usually feel guilty. I don’t usually feel bad. Why is there a change of emotions, so suddenly? Is it time?

My grip tightened on the broken pen on my hand. I felt the sharp broken pieces grazing and piercing through my skin that I felt warm blood gushing out of them. And as if not feeling more pain, I punched my fist on the wall.

Damn it! Why don’t I feel more pain?

A hand suddenly rested on my shoulder. “Miss Park?” it was Mister Kwon.

But instead of turning to him, I walked out.

The day dragged by with a blur. I attended my class with my usual heavy aura and foul mood. As usual, I ignored every teacher I walked past by, especially Mister Kwon who kept on asking me about my hand and my fist.

When the day finally ended, I headed to the faculty room to grab the rest of my things and finally go home. On my way out of the room, I met the janitor who always collects the trash at the end of the day.

“Goodbye,” he greeted me as he always does. And I ignore him as I always do.

By this time, the faculty room is empty as most of the teachers already got home. I’m usually the last one to go home as I have the last period class. So, when the janitor spoke again, I know that he directed it to me.

“What is a bouquet doing in the garbage?” he clicked his tongue. “It’s such a waste!”

I turned towards him.

“Do you think my wife would like this if I -“

Even before stopping myself, I rushed towards him and snatched the bouquet out of his hand.

“Err, is that yours, Miss Park?”

I glared at him.
“Why did you throw it then?”

“Mind your own business!” I hissed then turned to leave once again.

As I was walking on the hallway, I was staring at each of the roses. They were colorful. I’m not really fond of colorful things. Since twenty years ago, I already fixed my mind that in this world, there are no other colors but red and black. But seeing these beautiful roses brings a smile on my face. I don’t know why. It kind of relays a message to me. But, what is it?

I heard a chuckle. My head immediately looked up. I frowned as I saw Mister Kwon’s annoying amused expression. When I finally realized why, I hurriedly walked past him.

“Thank you,” he said when I was already a few feet away from him.

I stopped on my tracks but I didn’t turn to him.

“Thank you so much,” he said again.

“Ooooooooh!” a voice entered my ears as I was staring at the bouquet lying lifelessly on the coffee table in the living room. Though the television was , I wasn’t watching it. I was watching the bouquet as if anytime, they’ll come to life.

My head snapped to the doorway where Jaejoong was leaning.

“Are they roses?” he asked as he walked to them and picked them up. “One, two, three, four, five, six,” he counted, and then he nodded knowingly. “Six different-colored roses. I don’t know if you knew this already, but six roses given to a girl symbolize infatuation.”

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poster credits to ephrael