He slowly lifted his head to face me. Then a weak smile spread on his lips.

“Do I look that terrible?” he asked.

I didn’t answer. I was too dumbfounded to find my voice in my throat.

“What’s the problem, baby girl?” he asked. “You regretted saving me because you accidentally revealed your identity? Don’t worry; I’ll keep it a secret.”

“Just…” I started moving forward, still supporting him. “Just shut up. You’re too… weak to speak.”

I don’t know what had gotten into me but I found myself bringing Jiyong to my apartment unit. I insisted to bring him to the hospital to be treated, but he said he didn’t want to be treated with the smell of hospital reek in his nose.

I could have brought him to his apartment unit, but I brought him here instead.

“Don’t tell this to Sajang-nim,” I told the bodyguard when we walked past him. I gave him some tips so he would remain silent about this. He nodded in response.

“Are outsiders not allowed here?” he asked weakly.

“I told you to shut up,” I scolded him.

Yes, it was true. Outsiders weren’t welcome here. This apartment was exclusive for NIS agents only. And bringing in visitors was totally forbidden.

I punched in the code of my apartment and when the door opened, I was surprised to see that it wasn’t empty.

“Jae,” I whispered.

I felt Jiyong look up and Jaejoong stared at the beaten up man on my shoulder.

“Help me,” I told him as I stepped inside the unit.

Jaejoong hesitantly grabbed Jiyong’s free arm and draped it under him. He then brought him to the couch.

“No, bring him to my room,” I said.

He straightened up and stared at me for a while then he followed what I said. He settled Jiyong on my bed and was about to leave but I caught his wrist.

“Please treat his wounds,” I pleaded.

He didn’t answer. He just stood there while staring at me, as if weighing his options.

I watched Jaejoong’s hands as he expertly treated Jiyong’s wounds. Among the two of us, he’s better at this than me.

I stared at Jiyong’s bare chest and I almost broke down as I saw some bluish bruises on them. Then my eyes darted to his face as I traced his wounds with my eyes. He was badly beaten up by those scoundrels. His face was covered with fresh wounds and bruises. If I never knew enough than staying right here because Jiyong needs me, I would have left since a while ago to go after the scoundrels who beat my boyfriend up and make them wish that they didn’t.

“Are you alright?” Jiyong asked.

My eyes darted to meet his gaze. But he wasn’t staring at me. He was staring at my hands.

I looked down at them to see what he’s looking at. I didn’t even notice I had my hands balled up into tight fists. I immediately relaxed them and hid them behind me. That was the time that Jiyong stared back at my eyes.

He forced a weak smile at me as he silently assured me that he was fine.

After a while, Jaejoong was done with treating Jiyong’s wounds. He stood up and was about to leave.

When he reached the door, I spoke up. “Thank you, Jaejoong.”

He didn’t stop walking out but I knew he heard me.

I turned my eyes towards Jiyong who was staring at me intently.

“Have a rest,” I told him as I sat on the edge of the bed.

He smiled at me. We were staring at each other’s eyes and we were not uttering any words like two fools.

“This was all I managed to save,” he said suddenly.

I furrowed my eyebrows, unable to understand what he’s saying. Then he placed something on my hand. I looked down and saw a wrinkled and stained rose on my hand. I recognized its red color underneath the grazes it got on the petals.

I looked backed at him.

“Happy first monthsary, baby girl,” he said as he smiled again.

I felt my lips quivered and my eyes stung so much that I wasn’t able to hold back the tears anymore.

It was our monthsary and I forgot all about it. He was inviting me out to eat dinner with him on our special day but I forgot that it was because it was our monthsary. I realized what he was referring to last night when he said that there would supposed to be a long day for both of us even though it was a Saturday.  Right now, all I can think of is that this was my entire fault. If I have just stayed and never left him this morning, this wouldn’t have happened. He wouldn’t be hurt like this. He would be able to surprise me with whatever he had on his sleeve without getting hurt like this. But, look at him. It’s all because of me.

“Don’t cry,” he said as he rubbed his hand on my upper arm to comfort me.

I removed his hand on my arm the same time there was a pained expression on his face.

I leaned forward and grabbed him from the bed and hugged him tight to myself.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” I said repeatedly while he was rubbing his hand up and down on my back and whispering on my ear that it wasn’t my fault at all.

When my tears subsided, he asked me to lie beside him. I didn’t lay my head on his chest considering his wounds.

He had his arm under my head and with his hand he was playing with my hair. I was sniffing and wiping off the remaining tears that he weren’t able to wipe off a while ago and those that kept on pouring silently until now.

“You know it wasn’t your fault, Dara,” he said for the hundredth time.

“It was, and I’m sorry,” I said again.

He kissed my head and I looked up at him.

“I’m sorry,” I said again.

“I told you, it wasn’t your fault. I happened to take a turn on the wrong alley and met the scumbags, so it wasn’t your fault.”

“But if I were-“

I got cut off when he lightly pressed his lips on mine. “One more word and I’ll kiss you again.”

“But-“

Another kiss.

“More?” he asked.

I nodded but he just smiled.

“So you’re an NIS agent?” he asked.

I sighed, I was praying that he wouldn’t bring that up, but I nodded.

I looked at the ceiling to avoid his gaze. “I’m sorry I kept it from you. I know that I already trusted you but it was just-“

“It’s okay,” he cut me off.

I stared at him in disbelief.

“At least I know now, right?”

I smiled and gave him a long and deep kiss.

He leaned back a little that got me frustrated and I pulled him to kiss him again. But he leaned away again, chuckling a little.

“Why?!” I asked, raising my voice.

He pinched my cheeks. “I love you.”

I felt the world stop. That was the first time he uttered those words to me. he loves me. he really do.

I crushed my lips against hiom again to give him another deep and long kiss.

It was a few minutes later when I heard Jiyong’s steady breathing. I slowly got up from the bed so I won’t wake him up. I went to the door and silently opened it before going outside.

When I was already outside, I was half-expecting Jaejoong to be waiting for me and he didn’t disappoint me.

“We have to talk,” he started.

“Let’s talk outside,” I said.

“We can talk here,” he insisted.

“Fine!” I said and sat on the couch.

He followed me and sat on the opposite couch in front of me. “You know very well that we’re prohibited to bring outsiders here.”

I nodded.

He waited for me to say more but I was waiting for him to ask me.

“Why did you bring him here then?”

“To be treated.”

“That’s it? Can’t you bring him to the hospital?”

“He didn’t want to.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.”

“I guess now that you brought him here, you already told him your true identity. Or have you told him already way before this?”

“I did not reveal my identity to him. It was by accident,” I said, trying to calm my nerves. “And since he already knew the real me, I brought him here. To let him know more about who I am. That’s the real reason why I brought him here.”

He stood up. “You trust him way too much already!”

“What’s wrong with trusting my own boyfriend?”

“You don’t know that guy really well!”

“And you do?!” I stood up too, unable to control my anger.

That made him shut up.

“You know what? I’m starting to think that you’re being this ridiculous because you’re jealous.”

His face turned grim with my words, and then his whole body started shaking. I got scared that I took a step back. The moment I did, he took a step forward. We were like that until I felt the hard wall behind me.

“Jae…” I said softly as if the mere sound of my voice could stop him from shaking, but the effect was otherwise.

His hands quickly enclosed on both of my wrists and he trapped me on the wall. His face was near mine that his breath was brushing my cheek. I struggled to get free but his lips crushed on my mouth so forcefully that I knew from the time he that he would lean back my lips will get swollen. My lips refused to open and kiss him back as he struggled to make me do it. I was also trying to wiggle free from his grasp but he was too strong for me.

No, this isn’t the best friend I knew for twenty years now. He wouldn’t do this.

With these thoughts and because I was practically tired of struggling uselessly, I stopped wriggling free. But my mouth was still closed.

After a while he pulled back. He looked at me with tears on his eyes. He seemed shocked to see tears forming in my eyes as well. Seeing my tear-stricken face, he let me go and I slid down to the floor and leaned my head on my knees.

“I…” he started. “I’m sorry.”

“Just leave,” I said in a muffled voice.

It hurts me. It hurts me so much seeing him pained like this. I don’t want to hurt him but I can’t stop my heart from loving somebody else. I can’t force my heart to love someone who I don’t really see as a man. I only see Jaejoong as my best friend. And that’s just it.

My eyes fluttered open as I felt a pair of eyes staring at me. When I opened them, Jiyong’s eyes greeted me. His smile was wide too.

“Good morning, baby girl,” he greeted.

“Good morning,” I greeted back. This is so good. First thing in the morning and your loved one greets you. I want to live like this forever.

I stared at him. He was sitting on a chair beside my bed.

My bed? I was pretty sure that I let him sleep on my bed while I slept on the couch on the living room after I fought with Jaejoong.

“How did I…”

“I woke up when I felt I was alone so I looked for you and brought you here,” he explained then grinned again.

“Do you need something?” I asked as I straightened up. “You look really happy.”

“Of course I am, I’m here in your place,” he said, beaming.

“So?”

“Aish!” he said frustrated.

“Anyway, what time is it?”

“Um, quarter past nine,” he answered.

I stared at him. “Omo, that late? Agents are awake and are walking around the building by now. Hurry! Get dressed and go home before anyone knows that an outsider is here. We need to sneak out,” I explained.

He clapped. “This is so exciting!”

I raised my brow at him.

“Being the boyfriend of an NIS agent is exciting!” he said as he grabbed a jacket, a scarf, and a pair of sunglasses to disguise himself.

I clutched my stomach as I laughed at his funny getup.

----------

banner credits to nanaISyeoni