It was during my first class in the morning that I felt weird. My head was throbbing and I was getting dizzier every time I walk here and there while teaching.

At first, I was doing well pretending that it was nothing. But I think I was getting too obvious when a student asked me if I was alright.

When I couldn’t take it anymore, I dismissed the class even though it was still early and I ran to the comfort room, without missing a trip or a stumble due to my dizzy head.

I opened one cubicle and threw up on the toilet bowl. I puked everything I ate this morning. When I was done, I washed my face and fixed myself. I stared at myself on the mirror and I looked really disoriented right now, like I was just drinking before I puked. My hair was disheveled and my face looked bloated. Dark circles were on my eyes too.

“Did I eat something that upset my stomach?” I asked myself as I clutched on my stomach. “Maybe I’m just fatigued,” I said as I prepared to leave.

“I heard someone was having a bad mood this morning,” Jiyong said behind me.

I turned my head to him and he pressed his lips to mine. I was the first one who leaned away.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I had a fight with Sajang-nim. And it pissed me off that I even brought my anger out to other people. I really felt sorry to them,” I explained.

“That explains your mood a while ago and right now,” he said as he urged me to face him. He cupped my face and tried to straighten the creases forming on my forehead. “Smile.”

I sighed and forced a smile. He pressed his lips again against mine but I pulled away immediately.

“What are you doing?” I asked. “The other teachers might see us.”

“I don’t care,” he said.

I pulled away from him and folded my arm on my desk.

“I won’t be able to eat with you today,” he said.

I straightened up. “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to visit someone in my hometown. Don’t miss me too much, neh? I’ll come back tomorrow morning anyway.”

I nodded and decided not to be nosy with his business. Besides, I’m still not feeling well.

“How about you?”

“What about me?” I asked.

“Well… aren’t you going anywhere else?”

“Where would I go?” I asked curiously. What’s up with him?

“I don’t know…” he trailed.

“I think I’ll invite the other teachers out. I feel like eating something,” I said as I leaned my head on my crossed arms again. Weird, I just threw up this morning but I want to eat something more.

“You don’t look well,” he said.

“I’m just tired… I guess.”

The other teachers and I were eating at a meat restaurant as I tried almost all of their meals to look for that particular taste I want to eat. There’s just something. Oh well, maybe I’m just… tired? Is it always the answer to my abnormal behavior these past few days?

When we finished eating, we left to go back to school.

We just arrived at school when my phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Dara, your father…”

I was panting while running wildly on the corridors of the hospital looking for a particular room. I was bumping on most of the people I run past and they were all shouting curses on me, but I didn’t care.

When I arrived in the room, I slammed the door open making everyone in the room jump in their spots.

“Dara…” Jaejoong said.

I ran to the bed to check on Sajang-nim’s condition. He was half- as his upper body was bandaged. He looked like he was in a critical state.

“What happened?” I demanded.

“He met the suspect behind Senator Noh Seunghwan’s murder and the one Senator Woo Gin Won’s death threat,” Jaejoong explained.

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“He was alone that time. He didn’t inform us as well. He just called us when he was on that scene already. The moment we arrived he was already lying unconsciously on the floor,” Seungri explained.

“Why did he go alone? He could have told any of us! We could have caught the suspect and prevented this from happening!”

“Dara, calm down,” Jaejoong said as he rested his hands on my shoulders. “There must be a reason why he went alone.”

I didn’t even notice that tears have been flowing down from my eyes until Jaejoong wiped them off for me.

A nurse entered the scene carrying a coat which I recognized as Sajang-nim’s.

“We found this here,” the nurse said as she gave me a piece of paper.

I opened the slightly crumpled paper and read what was written on it.

Agent Dara. Come to Senator Lee Kyung Wan’s apartment. I am going to reveal myself now. don’t bring anyone with you.

Agent Dara? It was for me. Why was this found on Sajang-nim’s coat? Did he…?

“Maybe he went there because he wanted to protect you,” Jaejoong said.

I stared at Sajang-nim’s unconscious body.

Why did he have to protect me? I thought he doesn’t care for me at all.

He could have let me be the one to meet the suspect. We could have prevented this from happening.

I was walking back on forth at Sajang-nim’s house as I was thinking of his condition. It has been three days and he hasn’t woken up yet. And it has been three days since I haven’t gone home to change, until today. If not for Jaejoong who interrupted my thoughts while I was watching Sajang-nim’s unconscious state, I would have been staying on the same spot until now. He asked me to go home and change first while he watches over Sajang-nim for me.

Funny how he was able to talk to me very casually like nothing odd happened between us when in fact, there was something. Though the old Jaejoong wasn’t there, I was glad he was talking to me again.

When I was done taking a bath and change to new clothes, I found myself walking towards Sajang-nim’s house.

Pacing back and forth of his home office, I eventually got tired and dropped myself behind Sajang-nim’s desk. A while ago, Jaejoong also reminded me of the NIS’ state for the past three days. Agents have been working their asses off while trying to accomplish every unfinished and unaccomplished mission we had for the past days. It wasn’t only Senator Woo Gin Won’s case we have to think about, though it was one of the prioritized cases compared to the others. While the senator’s case didn’t have any developments, the other cases are slowly and gradually failing. And this would be a headline for sure.

Thinking back at Sajang-nim, he saved me from a possible trouble, and even risked his life. There must be something I could do for him. I turned his personal computer on to scan for information he kept in here about the missions.

When it finally loaded, the desktop flashed.

I blinked my eyes in rapid succession as I tried to process whatever it is I’m staring at. It was a picture of me taken secretly. I was smiling brightly while looking at my side as my eyes where twinkling in delight. I recognized the picture that it was taken recently from the clothes I wore. I recognized it further when I saw a part of a shoulder showing beside me. It looked like it was cropped.

It was actually a picture of me while I was a laughing at Jiyong’s jokes. It was taken during my date with him. Was I secretly being followed?

I was angry. How could he do that? I mean, really?! He had been following or maybe he hired someone to follow me.

I saw a folder on the bottom left of the desktop named after me. I clicked it expecting to see more of pictures taken secretly while I was on a date with Jiyong. But I was disappointed not to see what I was expecting.

I was actually shocked.

In this folder, there were a thousand pictures of me. What amazed me more wasn’t the number of pictures but the pictures themselves. Each one of them was taken from different times of my life. I recognized one and clicked it to enlarge it. It was a picture of my eighth birthday and my first birthday that was celebrated without my family. I was merely sitting in the middle of the room staring at nothing in particular. I scrolled down and scanned each of the pictures as slowly, in the pictures, I grew up to be a teenager. I stopped from scrolling as I stared at the once-empty eyes that eventually starting to have life in them as I was talking to Jaejoong. This was taken when I first met Jaejoong. This was the time he successfully befriended me. It was evident from his wide smile that he did.

The next pictures were comprised of me and Jaejoong, talking, eating, arguing….

I miss Jaejoong.

I stopped on a picture as I stared at Jaejoong’s laughing expression at something I said. I was half-smiling. I didn’t remember that particular scene but perhaps I cracked a joke or something.

The next set of pictures was during our missions – my different disguises. There was one when I disguised myself as a waitress, as a nun, as a cop. I laughed heartily as I saw the most ridiculous of all disguises – me as a clown. An agent’s life. Tch. Who says it was easy?

My laughter subsided gradually when I stopped on a picture of me in a belly dancing outfit. It was after this time when Sajang-nim and I fought.

My smile eventually faded as I remembered every piece of our fight that night.

I quickly scrolled away from that picture as I saw another set of pictures – me having the bright smile I had on the desktop wallpaper. Each of them was obviously cropped, evident from the shoulders, knees, or hands present at the edge of each picture. I recognized them as Jiyong’s.

He seemed to not mind me being with Jaejoong in a picture. Does he hate Jiyong that much? Heck, he even took a picture of me with Seungri, Seunghyun, and other agents while I joke around with them during work.

I turned the computer off.

The last set of pictures… they don’t bother me that much. What bothered me the most was the fact that Sajang-nim has been following me around and taking pictures of me secretly. I wonder why he did that. Maybe…

Maybe he truly cares. Maybe he just didn’t know how to show it. Maybe he didn’t want to show it.

My eyes caught something I wasn’t able to a while ago – a note on the table.

I wish Dara will like this gift.

What gift? Did he buy me a gift?

I stood up from my chair and opened each of the drawers and found nothing but useless office supplies. I went to the shelf and pulled each of the books thinking that there will be a secret passage. When I was done with all of them, I ran towards his room and opened the door.

It was my first time here and I wasn’t expecting it to look like this. There were too many pictures of me posted everywhere – on the wall, on the edge of the bed, on the desk, on the ceiling. And what amazed me the most was that they weren’t the same pictures I saw in his computer. They were different. Just how many pictures did he take of me?

I felt my whole body shaking and tears started to fall from my eyes. My knees were already weak but I motivate myself to walk forward as I stared at each of the pictures. They weren’t from the past when I was unable to smile because of the murder. The main theme was my smile, my bright smile which reaches to my eyes. They were all current pictures, when I finally learned how to smile again.

When I remembered what I was looking for, I opened his drawers but saw nothing else but personal belongings. When I reached the closet, my hand stopped midway as I hesitated on opening it. It was like I was feeling some kind of a force emanating from behind those doors.

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UNNIE's NOTE:

banner credits to LokiCraze123

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