No one ever really liked me. I was just that weird queer kid who was too smart for his grade, so in my first year of high school I had completely given up on making friends. It was only because my mother was deadly afraid I would become depressed due to the lack of human contact - it happened to a friend of her once, she told me - that I had resorted to using the internet as a final attempt at socializing with people my own age.

When I first came across Jung Daehyun I thought he was absolutely beautiful. I threw together a half-assed message to him thinking he would never respond to it. Surprisingly he did. I soon found out that his personality was just as beautiful and it didn't take long before I was inwardly cursing myself for crushing on a person I had never even met in real life and was probably never going to meet either. He lived so far away from me.

Still, somehow after almost a year of our friendship my brain developed the fantastic idea that maybe there were grounds for there to be something more than friendship between us. There was just something about the way he would sometimes stutter and get awkward when we talked about certain things that I couldn't quite figure out. I concluded that maybe, maybe he liked me back. So I confessed.

It was the stupidest decision I have made in my entire life. He was just like all the others. He couldn't stick around once he learned that I was a .

~*~

A/N: I needed to write something a bit angsty, so... yeah. this is inspired by my waipeu telling me to do chapter 1 from youngjae's perspective (sometimes it doesn't take more than that for an idea to form in my head). she writes awesome b.a.p stories. you should go read.
here's an unrelated picture of daejae (and yongguk's big head, hah):