Few months after that…

“SSSSSSHHHHHHIIIIIIRRRRRROOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!”

“Ugh! Wae yo!”

“Because I don’t want to!”

“Please ~~~~~~~~-ah!”

“SHIRO! Don’t you get it?!”

“Please!!!!!!”

“Na’ah!”

“If you don’t do it, I’ll kiss you AGAIN!”

“…………………………………………………….”

The sound of Yoochun’s laughter filled the room. I’m going to kill him. Seriously, ever since his comeback to Korea for a break, he’d been messing with my life. Now he wanted to ask me to come to the reunion party that his friends had put up for him. Aish! I don’t want to go. Why?! Because Jaejoong and Jooyeon unnie is going to be there. I’m in a silent war with em’. Why? Because they FORCED me to go out with this completely jerk guy named Junyoung who’s their friend at the college they had been studying at. The date went for one hour but it felt like YEARS! Gosh! All he talked about was how handsome he is and how ‘lucky’ I am to be able to went out on a date with him. Seriously, I RATHER DIE!

My life had been doing pretty good now. I’ve been really busy with studies since it’s my last year of high school. Actually, my life is hectic right now. I had to help Siwon, Junsu and Jessica with their studies; help Sunny managed her farming club while trying to set her up with her long time crush, Kyuhyun, joining the debate team with Changmin and busy preparing for the upcoming competition, helping umma and appa do some house chores since there’s no more Jooyeon unnie to do it and participating in Teayang and Jiyong dance group PLUS put up with Yoochun’s idiotic attitude. I felt like the nation’s personal assistance now. Aish!  

“~~~~~~~~~-ah, please. Just these once, come with me?” Yoochun put up his angelic face which he learned from Junsu. Ah! Crap!

“Fine! You win! I’ll go with you”, he quickly smiled.

“That’s my girl. I’ll see you tonight at 8 ok?” I just nodded. After giving me a quick peck on the cheek, he walked away.

I smiled to myself. Things between me and Yoochun are much complicated now. We are closer but complicated. Before this, we’re just friends now I don’t know. He will give me a kiss on the cheek every time he was about to leave me. When we walk together, he will always hold my hand. At first I didn’t feel comfortable but now, I don’t mind it anymore. A lot of people ask if we we’re dating and I would always answer “I don’t know.” I mean, he never asks me to be his girlfriend but he likes to hug me when he got the chance to. I really don’t know. My heart, it didn’t respond when Yoochun touch me but when he’s not around, it went restless. That’s why I said things are complicated with us.

How’s Jaejoong coping with this thing I had with Yoochun? Not good! That’s why he set me up with that Junyoung guy. He’s absolutely against my complicated relationship with Yoochun. He was actually planning on killing Yoochun but thanks to Jooyeon unnie, he changed his mind. So his mission now is to separate us and find a better man for me which so far failed miserably! Seriously Jaejoong, mind your own business will you? I can take care of myself thank you very much. Don’t worry about me falling for him. That does not going to happen. At least not in the nearest time possible because I still have Yunho inside of my heart.

It’s been MONTHS since the last time I saw him. I heard from Jooyeon unnie, he had engaged with Seul Ki as soon after he moved to America. They are studying together and planning to get marry as fast as they could. Just saying it makes my heart ache but it’s ok. At least I know there’s a part in his heart that’s mine. No one can even touch that place. Not even Seul Ki. Maybe, just maybe, he’s suffering too. Maybe the longing reach his heart too. I don’t know but I hope he feel what I feel. All I want now is for Yunho to be happy. Nothing else matters than that.

“~~~~~~~~~-ah!” Taeyang and Jiyong ran towards me as they saw me sitting there in front of my house all alone.

“Yo! What’s up?” Seeing this two people always make me smile. Why? Because they usually treat me food. Not just any normal food, but a really delicious dreamy food.

“You look like you could use something to eat. Let’s go!” See! Told ya! Hahaha!

“This is why I love you Jiyong-ah.”

“Only Jiyong?”

“Nah! You too Taeyang-ah!” I smiled as I hugged both of them.

“Now let’s go! I’m HUNGRY!” And the three of us headed towards the nearest place to eat.

When we arrived at the café, quickly I ran towards the table near the window. I like sitting at a table next to the window. We can see everything here. Taeyang and Jiyong just smiled and went to buy food for us. I just sat there and enjoy the scenery out the window. Kids were playing happily at the park, parents are watching they’re kids with a happy face, animals are running here and there with its master and couples are holding each other while exchange the words ‘I love you’. Everyone is in their happy mode right now but me. No matter how much I tried to deny it, I know that there’s something inside of me that feels wrong. It feels empty. I don’t really know what it is. The best way to ignore the empty feeling is by acting as if nothing is wrong.

“Here!” Jiyong suddenly hand me my food which is chicken salad and a cup of hot coco. Um! Yummie! Everything looks good when you are hungry.

“Thanks!” I quickly started eating my food. Taeyang and Jiyong smiled again. It’s usual to see me like this. I’ve been this way ever since that day where Yunho went to America. Weather it’s a good thing or not, I don’t know.

“So ~~~~~~~~, any plans tonight?” Jiyong suddenly asked.

“Sadly, yes. That stupid Yoochun oppa ask me to be his date to the reunion party that they are having tonight.”

“Ah! Too bad. We’re going out to see the other competitors for the next showdown”, I looked at Taeyang.

“Really? Which one?”

“The Ninja’s.”

“Awwwhhh! I wish I could come!” L

“We’ll bring back some video of them ok?”

“You’re the best Taeyang-ah!”

“Oh btw ~~~~~~~~-ah, we’re going to Jeju next week for a vacation. Want to come?” My eyes went wide open when Jiyong said ‘Jeju’.

“OMG! Of course I want to come. It’s been YEARS since the last time I went to Jeju Island.”

“Good than!”

“Who else is going?”

“Both of us, you, Top, Daesung, Seungri, Jessica and Siwon. You can ask the others if you want to. The more the merrier.”

“Than can I bring Junsu, Changmin and Sunny too?”

“Yup. You can even bring Jaejoong hyung, Yoochun hyung and Jooyeon nuna to come along too.”

“Why do I need to bring Yoochun oppa and don’t mention that two lovers name. I don’t like it!” Both Taeyang and Jiyong just laughed.

“What so funny?” Ugh! I’m annoyed.

“Yoochun hyung IS your friend-yet-to-be-boyfriend and you STILL mad at Jaejoong hyung and Jooyeon nuna?”

“What does it mean by friend-yet-to-be-boyfriend and YES! I’m still mad at them.”

“It means that soon, he’ll be your boyfriend”, I looked at Taeyang.

“What makes you say that?”

“He kiss you, hug you and you don’t mind it anymore.”

“But I don’t love him!”

“YET!” I frowned listening too this boys. Aish!

“What’s wrong ~~~~~~~~~-ah? Yoochun hyung is a nice guy you know? You guys make a good couple”, hearing Jiyong’s words make me frowned even more!

“Hey what’s wrong ~~~~~~~~? Tell me”, Taeyang who was sitting next to Jiyong quickly sit next to me.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t have any feelings for him. I am sure about that but when he’s not around, I feel restless. When some else tries to take him away from me, I become mad. I want him next to me but I couldn’t give my heart towards him”, I really feel like a now.

“Maybe you just need time to sort something out inside your heart”, I looked up at Jiyong.

“And this is when our vacation to Jeju came in handy! We’ll go there and calm ourselves down. Only then we could finally think straightly.”

“Good idea Jiyong-ah!” Taeyang and Jiyong high-five each other.

“Then its set! We’ll go to Jeju not caring what will happen ok?”

“Ok! Now eat! I don’t like seeing you all gloomy and woomy!” I smiled and three of us continue eating.

I can’t wait to go to Jeju. There I could rest my mind and heart and think deeply about this problem I had with my unsorted feelings. I also could enjoy the breath taking scenery of Jeju while have fun with my friends. It’ll be so cool! I have to tell Changmin, Junsu and Sunny about this. They’ll definitely agree to this especially Sunny since she is Ms. Nature and where is the best place to enjoy nature than Jeju right? She’ll definitely gets excited about this. Talking about nature, our family has this vacation house that is surrounded by nature. Maybe we could use it for this vacation. I should ask appa about this.

After lunch with Jiyong and Taeyang, they send me home. I quickly called Junsu, Changmin and Yoochun and asked them to come to my house. In just a minute, they are already sitting here in my room while acting like my room is theirs. They hang out too many times here so it feels like it’s theirs now. “Why did you ask us to come here ~~~~~~~~-ah?” Junsu asked as he lay down comfortably on my bed. I quickly left what I was doing and sat near them.

“Do you guys want to go on a vacation?”

“Of course!” Changmin answered.

“To where?!” Junsu already get excited.

“OMG! I need to pack my stuff!” Whoa! Calm down Sunny.

“Well, Taeyang and Jiyong asked us to join their vacation with the dance crew members plus Jessica and Siwon to JEJU ISLAND!”

“OMG?! Seriously?! Jeju?! OMG! OMG! OMG!” Told you Sunny will be excited.

“So are you guys in or what?”

“Definitely in!” They all sang.

“OMG, I can’t wait to go. When exactly are we going?” I thought you never ask Junsu-ah.

“Next week. I’ll have to confirm how many people are going and he’ll buy the flight ticket right away.”

“Where are we going to stay?”

“Actually, I’m thinking about asking appa about our vacation house in Jeju and if we could stay there”, Changmin nodded.

“Let’s go ask now!” The four of us agreed and we walked down towards the living room where appa and Jaejoong are hanging out. Ugh! What is he doing here?

“Appa!” I quickly ran towards him and sat next to him.

“Yes ~~~~~~~~~.”

“Um… All of us are planning to go to Jeju next week for a vacation.”

“Oh! Ok.”

“Um…. I’m wondering if I could use the family vacation house. Can we appa?”

“Sure! Whatever you want honey. I’ll call the house keeper to tell her about your stay ok?”

“Ok! Gomawo appa! Jinja uri appa chegoya!” I quickly smiled and hugged appa. I love me dad! Hehehehe!

“A vacation huh? Can I come?” Jaejoong suddenly spoke.

“No”, I answered coldly.

“But why?!”

“Because I said so.”

“Aish! ~~~~~~~~-ah, are you still mad at me about the Junyoung stuff?”

“Yes.”

“How many times must I say I’m sorry?”

“Even a thousand million times, I WON’T forgive you!” Before he could protest even more, I quickly ran upstairs with Changmin, Junsu and Sunny.

“Ugh! ANNOYING!” I said as I lay down on my bed.

“Poor hyung. You really should forgive him. He was only thinking about your happiness you know?” Junsu said matter-of-factly.

“Whatever!” I’m still mad at him.

“~~~~~~~~, Jae hyung only wants to see you smile. You know he never want to hurt you right?” Changmin nudge my hand. I looked up at him and he gave me forgive-him signal. I sighed.

“Do I have too? Can’t I let him suffer first?”

“No! Now go!” Sunny pushed me out.

After letting out a deep, DEEP sighed, I walked down towards the living room where I found Jaejoong all alone now watching the TV. I looked at him for a while. seriously, I don’t want to forgive him YET! I want to make sure he realizes what he did was wrong and make him suffer a little but I know that is wrong. Like what Junsu and Changmin said, he only wants to see me happy. He love me like a little sister and of course he doesn’t want me to end up with bad guy right?

“Oppa”, I called out for him as I sat next to him.

“Ye ~~~~~~~~-ah!”

“I forgive you”, and his eyes become round.

“Really?”

“Ye.”

“Gomawo ~~~~~~~~-ah. I promise that I’ll never do it again. Across my heart!” He makes a cute cross-my-heart actions which make me smile.

“Good! I just want you to know that, I understand that you are worry about me but you shouldn’t be. I’m a big girl. I can handle everything myself. Trust me a little bit oppa. Arasseo?”

“Arasseoyo. It’s just that I’m always worried about you. I’ve seen with my eyes how you were hurt by Yunho. I don’t want it too happen again”, I could see that he really worries about me.

“Oppa, it won’t happen again. I’m NOT dating nor falling for Yoochun oppa.”

“Not yet you don’t. He’s a player. Soon enough, you’ll fall for him.”

“I won’t ok. I won’t!”

“How do you know huh?”

“Because I still have Yunho inside here”, my hand instantly went up and hold me chest where my heart is at.

“Still huh?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s been months ~~~~~~~~.”

“Yeah. It might be years.”

“Why wouldn’t you stop?”

“Because I couldn’t. If I could, I would. But I couldn’t oppa”, Jaejoong sighed and looked at me.

“What if you have to wait for him longer than you expected?”

“Then I’ll wait. I wait for you for 3 to 4 years aren’t I? I survive it right? I’ll just do what I do when it was you in this heart. Wait”, what else can I do huh?

“I have hurt you a lot in the past haven’t I?” Jaejoong looked down and sighed. I quickly lifted him face to face me.

“It’s all in the past oppa. Let bygone be by gone ok?”

“But I couldn’t. Not after how I saw you suffer with Yunho. It must be worst in the past. I was your bestfriend. I was supposed to protect you. Be by your side. Not walk away and let you suffer. I shouldn’t have leaved you. No. I should have tried loving you”, he really seemed to regret things that happened between us in the past.

“Don’t say that! If you do that, you will only hurt yourself. I’m fine aren’t I? So why are you acting this way huh? How many times do I have to tell you that I’m a big girl? I can endure everything.”

“Arasseo. I get it.”

“Good! Uh! Oppa, you can come to Jeju Island if you want too.”

“Jinja?!”

“Ye. Bring Jooyeon unnie too. AND Yoochun might be there so you better get ready.”

“WHAT?!” He went all over-protective big brother again.

“Why is he MIGHT BE THERE?”

“Because I might ask him and he might say yes.”

“Why are you MIGHT ASK HIM?”

“Because I need a friend.”

“Yah! You have Changmin, Sunny and Junsu plus the others!”

“Oppa, what did I say to you earlier?” Only than he realized about our conversation before.

“You’re a big girl and you can take care of yourself.”

“Correct! Now, I’m going to get ready.”

“To where?”

“Reunion party.”

“What reunion party?”

“The one where Yoochun oppa is taking me and you and unnie will also attend.”

“Ah! I’m going to get ready too so that I can spy on you”, he whispered to himself but sadly I heard it. I just ignore it and ran upstairs. Jaejoong oppa will ALWAYS be Jaejoong oppa. Aish!