GIRLFRIEND
Living In The HeartMy vision was still blurry when I opened my eyes so I blink twice. It was all as clear as crystal after that. I looked around the room to see that I was actually inside my room. Oh! cool! But what actually happened last night? Why can’t I remember anything? Focus ~~~~~~~! Focus! What happened last night?
“Miss….”
“Me? I’m waiting for my bike to be fix at the workshop”
“If you just let it be, you’ll lose your heart”
“Keep it. Thins of it as a sign of good luck”
“Oppa! Yunho oppa!”
“Aniya! It’s not ok! What if something happen to you? I would never be able to forgive myself if anything happens to you”
“Oppa…..”
Now I remember! I was waiting for Yunho at the bus stop near the sushi restaurant for HOURS! Than it rained heavily and that stupid street light suddenly went off. After that I meet this nice guy who gave me his jacket! Than Yunho came and picked me up. In the car, as I wanted to confess to him, I fainted! I remember now! Where’s the jacket now?!
“~~~~~~~~!” Jaejoong walked in and quickly ran over me.
“Oppa! Jacket! Where’s the jacket I wore last night?” I need it!
“What jacket? Is it the red one?”
“YES! Where is it?!”
“It’s in the washing machine. Why?”
“Thank God!” I thought I lost it.
“Are you ok now?” He looked worried.
“I’m fine oppa. What happen last night?” I need to know what happen when Yunho send me home.
“Yunho send you home. We were worried sick when we saw you unconscious in Yunho’s hand. But truthfully, I was thankful that it was Yunho and not Yoochun”, I had the feeling you would say that.
“You didn’t punch him or anything right?”
“No! But I wish I could. He left you at the restaurant and nearly forgotten to pick you up. What an !” I smiled knowing that Jaejoong really cares about me.
“Btw, Yunho is here!” Jaejoong looked down at his feet.
“BWOH?!” I quickly looked down from by bed. HE IS HERE! Sleeping peacefully my Minnie Mouse blanket on his body and a pillow under his head. He looks so tired.
“He’s been sleeping here since last night?”
“Yup!” Jaejoong just nodded while he sat next to me.
“This is the reason why I don’t punch him in the face last night”, yeah.
“Why didn’t you just let him go home? He must be so tired”, I felt guilty now.
“I DID! But he insists on staying. He said that he feels better if you’re near him. PLUS, he wanted to make sure that you’re ok”, awww! That is so sweet of them!
“Oppa….” My hand reached out for his face. Carefully, I touched his face. You don’t need to do all of this for me.
“~~~~~~~~, stop!” Jaejoong took my hand away.
“Stop what?” He’s acting all weird again.
“THIS!!”
“WHAT THIS?!”
“I don’t want you to get hurt again”, what does he mean by that.
“Oppa, do you know something I don’t?” I stared into his eyes.
“No!” And he ran his eyes away from mine. This is not right!
“Jaejoong oppa! Just say the truth and cut the crap out!” It’s getting annoying.
“Nothing ok! I just don’t want you to get hurt. That’s all!” If he’s lying, than he must be really good at it.
“Don’t worry oppa. I can endure all the hurt that’s coming my way”, it’s normal for me ‘to get hurt’.
“I really do hope so”, Jaejoong looked into my eyes while carefully caressing my faces with his soft touch.
“EHEMM!!!!” Jooyeon unnie suddenly popped in to my room. Jaejoong quickly took his hand of me as he saw her. Weird!
“Jae, umma called for you!” JAE?!
“Oh! Ok!” And obediently Jaejoong walked away. I did saw they exchange glances when they walked passed by each other. Like they are sending a massage or something. I need to get to the bottom of this.
“Are you ok ~~~~~~~?” I’m starting to get tired hearing those words.
“I’m fine”, and saying that too!
“Next time, don’t do something like this again! Do you know how worried we are?”
“Unnie, I’m fine right? So don’t bring it up anymore!” it’s tiring.
“Arasseo! Now, let’s get some breakfast. And wake Yunho up to!” And she walked away.
I got up from my bed and looked at the sleeping handsome in front of me. His eyes, his nose, his lips. Omg! His lips! It seems so kissable! I’m a !
“Oppa….” Carefully, I shook his body to wake him up.
“Uhh….” His eyes opened slowly and smiled when he saw me.
“~~~~~~~~-ah, you’re fine!” Yes I AM!
“Ye. Now wake up you sleepy head! Let’s have some breakfast!” I’m starving!
“Pull me up first!” I could see the cheekiness inside his eyes.
“Ok!” I pulled his hand and tried my best to pull him up but I ended up falling ON TOP of him.
Our eyes were gazing at each other. His face was like an inch away from me. I could feel his breath. He could feel mine. My heart skipped a beat when I saw how close our lips are. If move a little, our lips will touch each other for sure. 0_0!!!! I would love that. Hahaha!!!! Such a maniac!
“Sorry!” Yunho quickly pushed me away and got up. There’s gone my beautiful romantic moment!
“Here! Let me help you!” He offered me his hand. I took it and he pulled me up. Than quickly he pulled his hand and look away from me. What’s with him?
“Gaja!” And he walked away just like that. Hey! What about me? Where’s the ‘~~~~~~~~-ah, you’re fine’ guy? Hello! I just recover from being sick here. Be nice a little ok!
“Just let it go ~~~~~~~”, and I walked downstairs slowly.
I really wonder why Yunho suddenly change from the sweet to the uneasy Yunho. Maybe he’s shy from that fall on top of him incident. Yeah! He’s shy. Shouldn’t I be shy too? Hahaha! Me? Shy? Shy is just NOT in my vocabulary.
“Good morning!” I said as I sat next to Jaejoong.
“Honey, are you ok?” Umma asked.
“Ye”, not in the mood to talk.
“Yunho-ah, thank you for sending ~~~~~~~ back safely. We owe you”, appa seems to be really thankful to Yunho.
“I’m the reason she’s in this mess at the first place so you shouldn’t really thank me.”
“True!” Jaejoong blankly said. I quickly nudge his hand.
“What?!” You know what you did Jaejoong.
“Let’s eat ok! You guys have school!” Oh yeah. School….. Can I not go to school today umma? I DID just survive from a terrifying moment in my life. More like freezing moment in my life.
“JAL MOKKESSUMNIDA!!” We started to dig in the food.
“~~~~~~~~~!!!!” Sunny, Changmin and Junsu quickly ran to me as I walked in the classroom. I bet they already heard about last night incident. When Jaejoong knows the news, the WHOLE WORLD will know it too!
“Are you ok?” I, Lee ~~~~~~~~, does not want to hear that words EVER AGAIN!
“YE!!”
“Thank God! I almost choke on my food when I heard what happen to you”, I laughed hearing Changmin’s word. He’s probably eating when he heard the news. He ALWAYS eats! 24/7!
“I’ve heard Yunho who’s the one saving you. He’s your hero now”, Sunny gave me this you-must-be-happy look.
“Can we at least sit first before we put on with the story?” Junsu spoke. I agreed.
“Ok!” And we sat at my sit while the other three sat around me.
I started to fit in the details of what really happen yesterday to my fellow bestfriend. They listened to every word I say with a full interest. This is why I love talking to them. Ok more like gossiping. Even the dumb Junsu could understand it all. Even though he’s a guy (so as Changmin), they like to gossip around with us girls. Sometimes they even worst than us girls. Isn’t that just cute? I know! My two buddies are cute! Sunny too!
“I wonder who the guy is….” Junsu, I wonder too.
“I bet he’s a nice guy since he didn’t try to take any advantage on you AT ALL!!” True Changmin.
“And I think he’s hot!!” Girls would be girl right.
“I think so too Sunny-ah. We are alike!” Us, girls squeaked in happiness. Changmin and Junsu just rolled their eyes in annoyance.
“Hey! Remember Yunho ~~~~~~~-ah. You Sunny, you have Kyuhyun! Stop adoring other guys. Isn’t ONE guy is enough for you?”
“Nope!” We both sang and went back to our admiring. Junsu just looked away. he’s annoyed. Really annoyed. Hahaha!!
“~~~~~~~-ah, someone is here to see you”, Junho announced.
“Ok!” I quickly got up and head towards the front door of the class.
“Unnie!” My little cute Chinese junior, Mei was standing there.
“Mei-ah! Why are you here?”
“Unnie, my teacher said that you’re really good in history. So could you help me with my history exam?”
“Sure. Why not?” I’m in a good mood to help people.
“Jinja?”
“Ye.”
“Gomawo unnie!”
“You’re welcome. When are we going to do this stuff?”
“Can we do it today? After school? Canteen?”
“Ok than. See you there.”
“Ok! Bye unnie!” And she runs back to her class with a huge smile on. That girl is really cute. Since I don’t have a dongseang, I always consider her as one. Like what Sunny always said, “I want a dongseang but not from my parents!”
“Hope the day will go by faster today!” I felt like going home, sleep, eat and do absolutely nothing.
God loves me. I know it now! Hahaha!!!! The day went by faster than I thought it would be. Finally the school session ended. This is when I can let out a big smile on my face. Haha! Sunny agreed with me because she just opened her close-shut eyes WIDELY!! And Junsu finally gets back on planet earth. The only one who’s not-so-enjoying this moment would be my nerdy friend, Changmin. he prefer to be call Intellectual Bad- than nerd.
“Minnie! Let’s eat!” Junsu hangs out TOO much with Changmin until he even talk like Changmin now.
“Arasseo! Let’s go to eat! I’m STARVING here!” That’s the real Changmin!
“Girls, do you want to tag along?”
“I have a meeting with the farming club”, she’s the President of our school farming club. I’m so proud of her!
“~~~~~~~?”
“I need to tutor Mei. Sorry.”
“Ok than. Bye!” And the two boys walked away happily together. They are like twins now. Inseparable! That’s the right word to describe them. Where’s there’s Junsu, there’s ALWAYS Changmin and so is the vice versa.
“Bye ~~~~~~~~-ah! And good luck tutoring!” Sunny waved goodbye and disappeared into the crowd. I just make my way slowly towards the canteen.
I thought probably Mei isn’t there yet since nobody likes to show up early for a study group right? But I was wrong. Mei and with her two friend is already there complete with revision book and stuff. They are that desperate to get good marks for exam huh? I should do a good job on tutoring them. Here goes nothing!
“Hey!” I smiled cheerfully and sat in front of my juniors.
“Unnie! We’re ready!” Eager much!
“I can see that. Let’s start right away shall we?”
“YE!!”
The tutoring/studying session starts. I gave them all the tips how to get an A in history in your exam.
Number ONE:
Have interest in the subject!
-If you don’t like the subject, TRUST ME no matter how much you study, you won’t be able to pass it with flying colours. I know because I used to hate math so much and no interest or what-so-ever in it. I studied hard but still can’t get math inside my head. Now, thanks to Yunho, I have more than interest in math and I got A!!!!
Number TWO:
Read the history book!
-History needs reading. You need to read the history book. Just think of it as reading a story book.
Number THREE:
Focus your reading on the part you’re weak at!
-Everyone has their strong and weak points. Like me, I failed when it comes to date. Like important dates and stuff. That’s why I usually read the dates more than one time.
Number FOUR:
Have F.U.N!
-Who says history can’t be fun? Like I said, think of it as some story. You’ll enjoy it. everything will come naturally when you put the F.U.N factor in it.
Lastly:
Believe in yourself!
-Buried in your mind “I CAN DO IT!!”. And don’t just buried it, believe it! You can do it! I can do it!
I had fun tutoring these girls. They are easy to work with. I only need to explain it once and they already got it unlike some people a.k.a Junsu. Even if I explained it 100 times, he still won’t get it. That’s why nobody wanted to be his tutor. I always said that Junsu is stupid right? Well, he got his own strong point. He’s good in music. Nobody could beat him in that. And he’s good at soccer and everything that doesn’t required thinking! That’s Junsu.
“So do you get it?” I explained to Mei’s friend, Jia about how the Rome Empire falls down.
“Ye unn…..” She suddenly froze like a stone with eyes widen. What’s up? I look behind me and saw Yunho smiling happily at me.
“Oppa!” You never know how happy I am to see him.
“~~~~~~~~, can I meet you tonight at Yoochun’s café? 8 pm”
“Um. Sure!” Would I ever say no to you?
“Great than! See you tonight!” And he walked away. I gave back my attention to three girls. All of them looked at me with the shock face.
“Unnie! You know Yunho oppa?!” Mei’s other friend, Fei asked me.
“Ye”, I just nodded.
“OMO!! Unnie! You’re so lucky!” They squeaked. I just laughed.
“You are the fourth lucky women in Yunho’s life!”
“Am I Mei?”
“Ye!” I guess I am than.
“If I’m the fourth one, who’s the other?”
“Firstly, his MOM. Second, his bestfriend, Jooyeon unnie”, ah….
“The third one?”
“His girlfriend….”
“…………………………………………………………”
“Wh…wha….what?” I didn’t hear what I think I just heard right? Right?
“His girlfriend that……........” I didn’t catch anything else that she said after that. Girlfriend?! He….he has a girlfriend?!
CCCCCCCRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAASSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I could hear the sound of my heart breaks….
I could see myself falling down a deep hole….
I couldn’t breathe….
My heart, it stopped….
“I-I need to go!” I quickly took my stuff and ran away from there. What just happen?! Please, please. This is not true! Tell me it’s not true. It can’t be true! It can’t! Why?! Why is it only MY love is hard? Why is it that only MY love is painful? Why? Can’t you just let me be happy for ONCE? CAN’T YOU?! Do I have to suffer with a one-sided love forever?! Do I always have to end up hurt at the end of the day? Do I?! Isn’t it enough hurt with Jaejoong?! Isn’t it enough that I can’t get him? Why can’t I get Yunho too? The only guy that could ever love more than I love Jaejoong.
Now everything is clear. Crystal clear! I know why Jaejoong seemed to against my feelings towards Yunho. Why Yunho acts weird after I fell on top of him this morning. It’s because of this. He has a girlfriend. It all makes sense now. I guess my guess that Jooyeon unnie mocked him at the barbeque party was right after all. He was the one they talked about. But what I don’t get it is, WHY. Why didn’t anybody warn me about this? Why is it everybody just let me fall for him so deep that I can’t seem to get back up? Why? Tell me why?
Tears just started to flow down my cheeks unstoppably. My view gets blurry because of the too much tears in my eyes. I can’t seem to walk in a straight position. I’m like a drunk girl now. My heart, it hurts so much. I can’t breath. Help me. Someone? Anyone? Help me! If this keeps going on, I’m going to die. Die in a really painful way. Save me. If it’s needed, just take away my heart. I can’t feel it’s beating anyway so why keep it.
I keep on walking while crying so badly until I stopped in front of Changmin and Junsu’s favourite restaurant. They hang out here everyday after school. I walked in hoping that they were there but they weren’t. I went back to the school to search for Sunny at her farming club meeting but just like Changmin and Junsu, she’s not there. Where is everyone? Why isn’t anyone here to help me?
At the end of the day, I ended up crying alone in the Art Studio. I didn’t even remember how long I cried because at one point, I just can’t cry anymore. And God! My eyes hurt from the too much crying. I started to get a headache now. Since I was in pain, I just stayed there for a little while longer. Closing my eyes and tried to forget everything. About Yunho, about this heartbreak, about everything. If I can make a wish right now, I would wish that I never would get that dream at first place.
What am I doing? This won’t solve anything! Even if I wish a countless time, I will never be able to forget nor change the past. What’s past is past. Let bygone, by bygone. There’s nothing else you could do Lee ~~~~~~~~. Now get up! Be strong! You’re not weak! You won’t let a little barrier to bring you down! This is YOUR life and YOU are the one who decided how your life will turn out to be. Don’t just sit here and cried. Go and seek for answer! Meet Yunho tonight! Even a married couple gets divorced, moreover a dating couple.
I stand up still with a lot of self believe in myself. I can’t let this turn out like Jaejoong case again! No way! I have enough pain already! This is my life! I say what’s yes and what’s no. he has a girlfriend, so what?! It’s not like he’s MARRIED to her anyway. Go ~~~~~~~~! Go grab your man!
Comments